SHIMMYHIP   11,688
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It's Been A Long While....

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Well Spark Friends,

First, I would like to say hello to everyone!!! I have been at a standstill with my weight for the last 3 mths. Not really losing or gaining. I haven't been eating badly, just not the best. I just have not been hypervigilent like I was in past months. I think I just got complacent. Its almost a new year and I want to it bring it in with less of me there! (hehe)

I havenot been half using my tools that I learned here at SPARKPEOPLE. Definitely not been measuring my food or counting my calories and not working out as hard. I went into maintenance not meaning too.

But that changed this week. I have exercised everyday this week so far. Although I have not been counting calories, I have been measuring my food. I've lost about 2 lbs so far.

I never stopped going to my bootcamp class. I love it and I can tell how much stronger I have become. I am very proud of that.

I realize that I am still a little afraid of being successful losing this weight. It has comforted me or many years. I will not reach my goal by the end of the year. I am disappointed but not giving up. I know I deserve a better healthier body. Its babysteps and I have alot more to take. As I peel back every layer and discover food is not my friend nor my enemy, it is a d@mn hard realization.

I am an emotional eater and to deal with that everyday is hard. I am still trying to find new coping skills. Sometimes I will eat something and not realize it til I've swallowed it. It's crazy!

However, I can say that I am proud that I have not gained any weight during this standstill.

Better days are coming!!!!!! Just gotta keep taking those baby steps towards my goal!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIMOTOGO 11/12/2010 2:56PM

    Glad your back and on track again and a big emoticon emoticon for not gaining the weight back and keeping on track with your Boot Camp! Yeah! That is a very big positive. One day at a time, sometimes it's one minuet at a time. emoticon

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JOYCEMARIE9 11/11/2010 6:30PM

    Baby steps are so much better than taking no steps at all. emoticon emoticon

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Its Been A While.....

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Well Sparklandians,

Its been a while since my last blog post. I had fallen off the wagon but am steadily climbing back on. Haven't gained of lost anny weight since my hiatus. However you may find of interest that I ran my 1st 5k with military style obsticles. And I was not in last place!!!!!! Toying with the idea of running. Wasn't as bad as I thought. Funny how that negative self talk can just hold you back. I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF MYSELF for finishing that run. My prayer the night before was to finish the ran with as much poise and dignity possible and to keep the negative talk out of my head so I could stay focused.

I have beeen seeing this as my way back on track. I figure if I can take on a 5k, I can surely tke on these last 60lbs and not be defeated!!!!!!!

Thanks in advance for reading my blog.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HICALGAL 8/12/2010 12:23AM

    WTG!!! just finishing is a major accomplishment!! so proud of you!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MIMOTOGO 8/10/2010 10:22PM

    emoticonon the 5K emoticon A great 1st step back in the saddle! One day at a time, one small step at a time. emoticon

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73ELLEN 8/5/2010 5:17PM

    emoticon I am so Happy for you, we all fall off the wagon. But you determination is great. Excellent job on the 5k. emoticon

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FINEBABY72 8/5/2010 5:05PM

    I'm glad you chose to get back on plan, now make a plan to stay on plan and reward yourself with non food rewards even if you lose 1lb. Good luck and welcome back!

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SHERYLDS 8/5/2010 3:40PM

    Congratulations. That is absolutely fantastic. That's the kind of determination that champions are made of.

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NEXT30YEARS 8/5/2010 3:16PM

Welcome back and congrats on finishing in grand style.

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LIBBYFITZ 8/5/2010 3:09PM


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AGUAWOMEN 8/5/2010 2:44PM

    Good for you, keep it up

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ANNAMAENATOR 8/5/2010 2:44PM

    Way to go! : )

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AMYRACHELLE252 8/5/2010 2:44PM

    Congrats on the 5k. Welcome back!

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Monday, June 07, 2010

Hi fellow Sparkpeople.

Just need to get some things off my chest. I am at a crossroads, with my realtionship that is.
I don't know if I am upset with my boyfriend or myself. He went out of town to take care of this father, but when he came back I didn't see him for 3 days. Now, we talk everyday sometimes 3 and 4 times a day. He didn't come see me and just assumed I was coming over to his house. That's cool and all but it would be nice if he had ome to see me.

Well he did come to see me and I was so upset I couldn't even talk to him. I hardly said 5 sentences. I feel bad because the more I think about it, I am feeling like our relationship is going nowhere. I think we are just at different points in our lives. It hasn't changed much in the past couple of years. I feel he is fine with the way things are. I, however, am not. I do love him and I know he loves me. I just feel uneasy.

I am trying to see his side of things and be as objective as possible. Ah yeah, we all know how easy it is to be objective in your own life. I know. Good luck with that, right. (chuckle)
I am trying to figure out is it him or is it me. This whole selfdiscovery thing is a trip. I don't want project the inadequacies I feel about myself on him and ruin my relationship. I know I need to talk to him.

Oh yeah thats the other thing. CONFRONTATION.....not great with that. Very hard for me, especially my personal life. Work life I'm better. I'm no marshmellow by any means, however I find it very uncomfortable.

I have not eaten up the world over it thus far. Great milestone for me. It is eating at me though. I don't know hy this is so dang hard. I guess I'm afraid of what he may say. I just need to put on my BIG GIRL panties stand tall and have the blasted talk with him.

Thanks as always in advance for reading my blog.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TBENSON49 7/13/2010 5:57PM

    Some advice from an experienced woman:)

Continue to work on yourself and making yourself feel good as a person. I know that may seem selfish, but it has been my experience that men get bored when they see that we get bored with ourselves. Then the next thing you know you are getting bored with the relationship and then they go find someone one else who is "interesting" and thinks they are interesting.

Taking care of yourself makes you feel good and it trickles down into other parts of your life. Confidence is sexy:) Go get 'em! Here's a good book to either help you with your current relationship or as advanced lesson for the next one, How to Light His Fire by Ellen Kriedman. It's an old book, but the information is wise. Good luck!

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TWINKIE14 6/9/2010 12:45PM

    perhaps you should just have a conversation with him, about how you feel, and what you want in the future, a good frank discussion would clear the air for you, and afterwards you will know which way you have to go forward, hope things work out for you. emoticon

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SHERYLDS 6/7/2010 7:34PM

    You don't need to be confrontational. express your feelings to him and tell him what you NEED from him. be specific. then see how he responds, not by words but by actions. don't assume he knows what is important to you. people don't always get it. but if he WON'T be the person you NEED then you need to think about your relationship. life is short.

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MIMOTOGO 6/7/2010 5:40PM

    I have to agree with the others, writing down your feelings does two things, it helps you get it off your chest and then when you re read it, it can be a great benefit to help you see yourself and may be the underlying feelings that are making you feel uncomfortable to the surface. I have found that there are times when I am very upset and lash out at my hubby, and after I feel terrible only to realize it wasn't him at all, he was just the conduit that fulled the release.
emoticon one step at a time. Do what works best for you.

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BFITHEATHER 6/7/2010 5:02PM

    Maybe you should write down what you want to say. It's a good starting point. I'm not always good with trying to get my feelings out to my boyfriend, but writing them down helps me organize my thoughts and be mindful of how I want to come across to him! AND make sure you're having your conversations when you're not upset with him. Give yourself time to calm down, which I know from experience isn't always easy to do!

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PUPIX305 6/7/2010 4:56PM

    Confrontation was not my strong point. Yet, i have managed to get better by taking it one step at a time. I use to just avoid a conversation because of the confrontation. I am actually pretty good at it now, specially with my husband. Try replaying the conversation in your head, writting down what you want to tell him and rehersing it... yes I know it sounds funny but it makes it much easier when you actually sit down to talk. Hope this helps... :)

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Well yesterday was the day.......

Thursday, May 27, 2010

I have been slow when it comes to exercise lately. So I've decided to set a new short term goal to loose 15 lbs by my birthday in July. I think its doable. I needed something to help me pick up the pace. I could feel myself drifting into a reversal of all I have accomplished thus far. And failure is not an option at this point. The FAT GIRL is longer welcome here. Although I love her and she has brought to this point, its time to let her retire into Bon Bon land of the Fat. Its time for the healthy inner me to live out this 2nd half of life. I must also learn to let the FAT GIRL thinking go too.

I have started wearing makeup more and paying better attention to my skin also. I so much want the outside to reflect the new inside I am creating. I actually felt pretty the other day and I haven't felt that way that deeply in a long time. It felt good. I am discovering that I owe it to myself to spend some time on me. And its ok.

I knew that I have FAT GIRL thinking, but did not know how ingrained it is. I have lost 33lb so far and still in alot of ways see my body the same way. For instance, I'll be going somewhere, go to the closet to pick out an outfit, not thinking, put it on and its falling off me. I haven't bought any new clothes yet. The amount of weight loss hasn't caught up to me head yet. I know its because I have 67 more lbs to go.

Like I keep telling myself, it babysteps. Keep moving forward and don't look back. I know I will get there hopefully not naked because I haven't bought any clothes yet!! lol.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to read my blog.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIMOTOGO 5/28/2010 9:35PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TAYLORLIV31 5/28/2010 1:07AM

    That Fat girl gets around. When I was under 140 pounds I wasn't happy and today if I could get back there I would be so so happy. Thank you for share this and stay encouraged. emoticon

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GRAMSIECAKES2 5/27/2010 12:09PM

    I enjoyed reading your post. I have a new goal too. To now catch up with my baby daughter who is 47 and has lost 40 lbs and looking great. I want to see what kind of weight I can lose by Christmas. (My 70th birthday)...Good luck with your journey...Merri

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Feeling Better........

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I decided to buy some new moisturizer since mine was low. I bought my fav, Lancome. The sales girl was Fab. I spent way too much but we girls need to take care of our skin. I can't wait to see the results. Just a little pick me up to get my junpstart going. She did a fab job on my makeup. It was light and pretty. I will have to go back and get the colorways. I went to work out right after and must say I felt pretty working out!!!

A first for me. I will have to keep this up. I loved the feeling.

Thanks to everyone who gave me kick in the pants in my last blog. Much love to you all!!!!!!

Well signing off for the evening my fellow Sparkers.

Have a great night.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIMOTOGO 5/25/2010 11:26AM

    It's good to do something special for yourself. I love it when I go in and have them do my makeup. Fun! Hope you have an amazing week.

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MARIA49 5/20/2010 11:50PM

    emoticon that's right you can do it!!!! emoticon

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