Friday, February 14, 2014
I have to ask myself why I can't do this and the answer I get is one big blank. There's definitely a big psychological something going on but I can't say what. I know I comfort eat but right now I have nothing to be upset about although I am craving the summer - maybe that's the problem but I don't know. That is the frustrating thing right now. Why can I not detach myself, stop thinking and just do. Why do I allow myself to do what I do, to order that pizza I shouldn't have, eat the chocolate bar that means my calories will be 3,000 plus for the day. Why oh why!
And therein lies my problem.
I have come to one conclusion over the years - I like doing it! It's as simple as that, I like eating, I like lots and that is it. There is no psychology to it anymore.
So am I am addict? I don't know. Is it a habit? Why sure, all those years of having to finish my plate as a child meaning I was stuffed silly accounts for much.
Is there anyone else out there with this issue? I've seen people on Sparkpeople losing loads of weight and doing great, some struggling etc and some leave. I'm probably one of those that would have left - but I'm staying, I may not post as much, but I am staying this time.
I know what has to happen is that something has to click in my head - I need some kind of Vulcan (Star Trek reference yay) attitude to food. Need to see it as a function.
People try to bolster my confidence by pointing out I've given up hard drugs (many years ago - life was tough), I now don't drink, I don't smoke, etc. but once the choice is made to do that it is easier because a person does not need to take drugs, drink alcohol or smoke to live. A human does have to eat. If I could give up eating entirely well now wouldn't that be a doddle!
Anyway, this has become a very long post - it isn't a negative one, it's an analysis. I need to work out how to break the cycle, how to gain control, how to stop enjoying food so much.
Have fun all xx