Sunday, September 29, 2013
Didn't do much today,massive caffeine withdrawal headache.know all about it,hadnt had soda in about five yrs then in the last month started with coke every day..this is no big deal to quit,i wont have any more.
just for the info if anyone does read this-
I was heavy all my life from about 14. I am 41.My heaviest was 252 at least that is the heaviest that I weighed myself. I was in an abusive marriage for 12 years,he told me when I left that I would always be alone,that I would never find someone to put up with my bs and someone else's kids.
I was single for about 2 years with a few unimportant dates.A year or so later I met the man who proved him wrong.he loves me and my kids and we have been together about 7 years. I know he loves me unconditionally. I know he loves my children. he was with me before I started to lose weight,which was done through eating healthy and drinking water only.
about 5 years ago I lost 45 or so lbs slowly,which for the most part I have maintained. the absolute biggest problem I have is my health issue ,which makes it almost impossible to walk alone. I have to hold on to someone to not fall on solid ground,i don't even wanna talk about a hill or stairs. I have been a c.n.a for 20 yrs , which I can barely do at all and right now am not working and have a hard time making ends meet. I believe this is part of my depression and lack of any enthusiasm about anything right now. my daughters both recently moved out and I miss them horribly. most of my spare time(which is a lot ) is spent in front of the computer or tv,which I hate . I cant stand sitting still , but walking is so painful and frustrating it is all I want to do.
I don't know what is going to change, I am hoping maybe something will so even if still slowly I can make myself start working out again,i might reach my goals...right now I am only trying to find a reason to care