SHERRYWILSON   25,751
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SHERRYWILSON's Recent Blog Entries

trying to rebjuild my mind sets

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

when i first started spark it was all about mind sets well last year i got sick and now i lost the mind set that i had i never knew how it would change a person so much i want the other mind set back actually i miss it i dont know how i got it or learned it but it was a good one till mhy depression wiped it out i got lost for a year long battle im even considering going back on meds to see if my mind s et was because of the meds but i was tired of feeling the way the meds made me feel but these days after a year and half being off meds im wondering well if im feeling like i was on meds when im actually off meds was they working was they not i was on like 3 diffrent meds but on 3 vitasmins too im having headaches all the time from what i dont know im still working through all this does anyone know what i mean by the mind set you learn in begining im thinking about starting over and see if that helps too from fast break on like i never started but it will restart my whole points and everything too but maybe that what i need a fresh new start i went 2 years straight exercised when supposed to ate right then got sick lost all hope but im fighting this fight im still here fighting for my self but i feel like im losing but i keep telling myself im a fighter im stronger and better and it takes time and as long as you are trying im doing what you will eventually get to where i need to be and for that i keep saying i love spark people and the friends and i got the tracker too now i just to focus on my eating and my healthy habits keep fighting to get in control im work in progress and will see myself regain control of my anger feelings and frustrations during this time its not over till i say it is so keep up the work no matter what blocks your path there always a way around it find im trying too

  
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GGJUNEBUG 1/21/2014 1:48AM

    There are some fruits/veggies that help ease depression. Maybe if you researched it in Google and tried it out, it would work. If anything, just eating more fruits and veggies will help with the weight loss.

Have you tried meditating? Meditating on positive things? Doing something positive for yourself each day?
Maybe take up some kind of crafting that will help you keep the depression away?

I would read books, some people watch comedies. If knitting something or scrapbooking helps, why not try doing something new to spark your curiosity?
Hope this helps.

Have a good week!

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Junie
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Hello stress busters

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Stress busters is my goal:
I'm doing a great job on my list of stressor:
1. Making good friends and healthy ones getting rid of ones who don't believe in you
2. Realizing when a disease is getting worse
3. Taking control of my actions
At work and home
I believe in myself others not so much need to work on that one
4. Loving myself the way I am
5. Respecting my friends wants and needs I did this today and feel great about it
6 . Enjoy my self
7. Loving my self
8 rejoining old friends to have a few laughs like in my past to relieve stress
9. Enjoy my grandson he's the best
10. Living my life to the fullest with best of intentions a best of my days with god

These are my new goals in life for me to focus on have a stress free day I enjoyed myself today I didn't key anyone get me down I thought it was the best day I had in a long time yeah me proud of myself today for helping my self
I learned today about carbohydrates and to eat like only 17 a day I have friends I can count on for support at work like 5 of them so I think I will be just fine I feel awesome as it is I'm actually beautiful person inside and out and maybe some people just can't to see me feeling better I'm like doing great and I'm loving it now I think I got a stressor out of my life today
That was a major role in my depression I think I will move forward and feel better about myself in the next few weeks I will be better and my depression will pass but my vitamin d and d3 levels got to come up I'm taking tons of meds to get things back to normal I'm feeling blessed and not stressed because I'm too blessed to be stressed yeah that's right. Blessed I am I'm blessed to be me
I'm keeping my goals improving my self esteem within my self and my strengths are I will do what's best for my friends and family no matter how much I don't want to I will sacrifice it be the best person I can become


My life is going to be an fantastic life because I believe that it's just a bump surface at the moment but it us smoothing out already

My life rocks and I'm having the best day ever yeah me

  
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PRAIRIECROCUS 9/5/2013 1:13AM

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SUECHRIS50 9/4/2013 2:03PM

    emoticon YOU ROCK!


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Victoria
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AJB121299 9/4/2013 12:39AM

    nice

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My new ways of feeling about me

Monday, July 15, 2013

Hello my name is sherry. I'm from Oklahoma . I love this site it's pretty awesome and free which I can afford it has great features and now I just got to use them this is a huge issue for me it's not the site that's failing me I know it's me . I know why too I just can't figure out why I keep letting myself do what I want it to do I have very good intentions but those bad habits start getting in the way I tend to get away from the moment when your busy you forget to think or plan that's where I keep messing up my plan I don't bring meals from home because I don't have time to mess with it it stresses me out after work dealing with family issues then just the regular stress of daily life I wanted to try to get like these salads and stuff but geez the calories out of the dressing don't give ya enough to taste it really so I'm trying a diffrent option now I was trying sandwiches by the time you add everything it cost a lot of money for a sandwich anymore I like lettuce tomato onions cheese ham turkey or whatever if no other meat I know high in fat but bacon tomato lettuce cheese are good but I use light mayo on them cause of all the added fat in bacon but I'm really trying to find a healthier eating plan for my lunch meal at work I can easily eat 3,000 calories out of the deli everything fried but tomolies and mashed potato and gray and Mac and cheese and our cold salads I love the broccoli salad I used to eat it every day but burnt out on it I'm wonder if anyone has any healthier alternatives that are fast and cheap I spend about 5 dollars a day on my lunch but its usually my lunch and breakfast and then I eat another meal later I'm just out of control with my portion sized too I allowed myself to eat more than I should bad me when I was going through some pretty stress ful times the last year basically I just forgot my lightbulb burnt out got depressed and now in having to start over that's the hardest part of having the mind set and getting depression wiped it out it I miss it I can't believe it but I know it happened it just like my mind was erased overnight but in reality I know it's not I know I just got to find it again and let me tell its not easy I'm trying to get back on the wagon and trying not to get broken wheel or anything else I been going through early menopause too the last few years and its got me going in diffrent directions too I'm not much on fruit but I'm trying to get more familiar with the fruit again I found I don't like kiwi fruit , strawberries or anything with seeds like that grit pears I like but not the texture and I love watermelon cantelupe bananas grapes cherry pineapples oranges lemon limes I use lemons and limes to flavor my water love it I also love cherries frozen I don't know why not completely frozen though I put them in ice key them get really cold ice box isn't cold enough I don't know why really it just another thing in my messed up head I think but I like the wraps we make at work they have chicken in them with southwest style sauce but I'm trying to break my calories up in between 3 meals like we suppose to even though one of my meals is basically a snack I never get time to eat before work its part of my not get organized with what all I have to do before work versus what needs done before I goto work and all the extra hassles I get into I want to prioritize my meals my day like times and date I'm going to set goals to do but I tend to get over whelmed because I never can get my goals achieved I give up on my self I have add and OCD with avoidance factor I tend to avoid thing when it gets stressful for me I quit give up or walk away but I been strong at work u know if I can hold a job for three years and husbands nagging for 20 I should be able to do this like a walk in the park I used to exercise everyday to some pretty hard core for me at the time I loved it though turbo fire and now I want to do insanity but afraid to since it been a year since I exercised other than at work I'm wiped by the time I get off I work 10a-7p 11a-8p and also 2p-11p all in the same week I usually get off at 11 and have to be back at 10 that just made me so tired I just lost control but that's my hours if go in at 2 I eat 2 meals before lunch but at 10 I don't get time to eat if I closed the night before I have to shower wash laundry and get that stuff done I drink coffee for energy but I only drink it at work now it used to be 3 pots a day now I starred drinking pop I shouldn't of but I have it's not something I can't live without unlike my cheese sticks when fresh My other weakness are wing dings and my coffee have to have it


I think I still making progress slowly but the last few months been Rocky but I'm coming back my depression is not at peak I'm handling a lot of stuff like a mountain now I'm pretty steady now I feel I keep my mountain up for now I feel like I can blow my stuff up if it get close enough to bother with me I'm done feeling like trash or used garbage that people just thinks to stomp on me I am not and I also am no ones slave or anything else I'm human I make mistakes and I won't lie a ton a day if not more the faster I work the more I make I get yelled at a lot at work I feel like I do a good job but my boss says another it's pretty pathetic if you got to be talked to about folding cheese hello there's only one way to do it not to make customers mad I like her idea but time is being wasted on folding pretty I believe you out 2 slices in the add paper stack to more add keep going till they get what they want I also waste wrapping paper on meats come on now most of the juices leak out. I use about 2 layers of seran wrap I'm wasting her wrap I'm just like ok whatever right I'm just tired of getting told how slow I am yeah I'm slow because in the meantime I'm slicing near and cheese cooking and rotisserie and hot case when needed during the whole day everyday if I see it needs done no one else is available or doing it well I will walk away from my salad or sandwich to help a customer long enough to get it taken care of everyone else I work with says I'm good a worker she just needs to get off my case for stupid petty stuff that don't matter I get along with her fine I feel it's just part of me that she don't like but I don't like certain things she does to me either that was part of my depression anxiety attacks and panic attacks when she starts yelling and stuff my palpatations kick I. My breath changed it hurts to work like that this started at the beginning of this year been dealing with it for 6 months but I changed I learned how to deal with it the better way roll it off it only gets ya if you let it don't listen to negativity it gets ya no where I learned that from her

  
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SOLOMUA 9/1/2013 12:07AM

    Sherry, I know you got a lot going on, but I know you can do this - you've come so far - keep going - keep doing what you know what to do that is good for you - keep strong - you can do this - for you - its all about you - and what you want - the possibilities are huge! Good luck, we're here for you!

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SHERRYWILSON 7/16/2013 11:08AM

    I bet it would taste just as good on my southwest salads I love them and I can make my own wraps at home with lettuce and cheese and chicken grilled of course put on a sandwich wrap and bring some salsa and buy a banana for a fruit and drink water or coffee and I be set I'm thinking about making up like ham shaved pre cooked and putting in ice box scratch that I can do this pre make my breakfast for the whole family everyday eggs and cheese and ham tortilla floured and salsa cook a dozen eggs like scrambled place tortilla heated then place heated ham then egg then cheese and what veggies like onion peppers no tomatoes or lettuce at this time because I don't like hot mushy tomatoes slimy lettuce or I never microwaved mushrooms so I don't know how they would do but I going to try to make enough of these to see how long they last I can put them in individual bags so they can pull out breakfast burrito heat and eat I can take then with me to eat if I have an extra 10 minutes to drink coffee I can have a breakfast too

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CIROHIO 7/15/2013 10:58PM

    emoticon another idea use salsa in your salads instead of dressing. very low calorie, and pretty tasty! emoticon

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PATJOONWW 7/15/2013 2:47PM

    For your salads instead of putting the dressing on the salad, dip your fork into the dressing and then into your salad. That way you get a taste of the dressing in every bite. You'll be amazed how little dressing you will use.

Much success on your journey!

emoticon~Pat~ emoticon




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WHYNOTJ1 7/15/2013 1:07PM

    Hang in there! Keep writing about how your are feeling! emoticon

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Depression and how it hurts we don't need any help

Friday, March 08, 2013

Well everyone who had battled depression know how hard it is to keep positive and to overcome the negative part of the illness because it sets in dob't want you to win.

You know it's a daily struggle to stay positives but everyday I get feeling positive till I have a bad encounter like:

Negative people who Tare you apart just because it makes them feel better

I feel man they got to depressed to do that ok I try to say its going to be on we can do it right
I just want to say some people belittle people and don't even realize it because they think they are thinking it but opps says it
then there's the other type
Who says it see ya hurt like the bully type
I just try to do the best I can that's all I can do
I don't expect perfection
But I expect respecting me is a top priority
if you can't respect me don't say anything right
I never try to hurt any one I will not hurt anyone on purpose but I do and I know it I apologize for it cause I respect everyone even when disrespected I still try to be a positive person till I get out of my skin and turn into a I can't believe all this the shock it's a numbing place I don't like but when I felt it all last week I mean I was sick to my stomach all week feeling like my guts was yanked over the stress that happened earlier on Sunday I'm been telling everyone to pray about it and then I wrote it down burned it to god to deal with again I felt a little better but still hurts your feelings I made a deal with myself from now on don't talk till spoken to don't try to be involved to be jumped on just try to stay out of fire because its not my fault for others actions I'm no longer going to take it at face value like before because I know it's lies and I try to be a team player but I'm the only person who can protect me and that's my top priority from now on if they don't like me that is fine but don't insult me just because your upset at everything that's nothing I did it never been this bad at work but when we need like a whole shift of people cause we had one quit one fired in dec. and our temps we had both was let go and now we have one out on sick leave I'm wishing her the best and I don't want her to have a fast recovery I want her to have a healthy safe recovery and I just hope she does good for the remainder of the time when we get full staff again she won't be as stressed I feel she wanted the position so I think she should be respectful still yet talking to us like we can't read or follow directions was just wrong and down right rude and honestly it made me disrespect her little because she made me feel bad about myself I don't need anyone doing that to me people with depression have a hard enough time keeping positive she knows I have depression and anxiety and add and takes advantage of it sometimes by saying stuff against me on it when frustrated but I been ignoring it but over several months of building it knocked me down and made me feel worthless I just keep hearing her say all the time how slow I am but I am one person I can't do everyone's job at one time I cook I attend hot case and make sandwiches at the same time and if someone needs meat and cheese cut I'm walk away and do that when you get interrupted it takes longer when working on so many things at once I feel like I never get anything finished then when she pops off says that you don't do anything your trying to keep the department floating it just bunch stress I want to goto the lake and fish and play in the water just to relax I so need a vacation but right now it's to cold but soon it will be awesome I haven't been fishing in 3 years I'm going this year no matter what I better get at least one day off I can fish at least weekly I would like to relax I'm willing to work Sunday - Friday but not good enough I think it's sad I work open schedule 24 hrs a day any shift but they won't guarantee me Saturdays off I think that just crazy one day if I try to change my availability they deny it because my availability is open
I'm staying positive and doing my job to the best of my ability I just hope it's good enough I haven't heard anyone else complain about it

  
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SHERRYWILSON 3/9/2013 11:13PM

    Thanks everyone I been doing great since I put it out of sight and out of mind I just do my job and if things seem to be hectic I just stay to my self and don't talk so I can't be in trouble just for my protection and I'm feeling better more confident about my job and I know when we get our help that things will happen for the better and she will be fine today we still had people breaking the rules so I tried to tell them again that we need to stop putting things that don't belong because that's what is upsetting her people not doing the job right I can understand that but I try to tell them if you want her to not be stressed or mad maybe you can help me by not putting stuff in freezer that don't belong to make bit easier and better for all

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SHAPESHIFTER09 3/9/2013 9:46PM

    Remember that when others try to make you feel bad about yourself, that says a lot more about them than it does about you. Be confident in your own worth and nobody else will be able to bring you down. Best of luck!

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ANGELA76H 3/9/2013 12:03PM

    I'm sorry you are having such a hard time at work. It's unfortunate when other people take advantage of others when they know they can. I hope things get better soon!

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MOTHEPRO 3/9/2013 11:50AM

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FORBANDE 3/9/2013 8:02AM

    You are a wonderful, caring and helpful person. Unfortunately people take advantage of your kindness and good nature.

People have a very hard time dealing with any illness that is not physical. It's like if they can't see it, they don't believe. My dear husband deal with severe anxiety and it's something that people do not understand because from the outside, he seems "normal".

Hopefully you can always find the strength to put yourself first and do what you need to do.

Your garden sounds lovely!

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SHERIO5 3/8/2013 11:50PM

    I am glad you can talk about your frustrations here. Keep that tender heart of yours, its precious! emoticon

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DOLLY1259 3/8/2013 11:44PM

    It sounds like you have a very tender, loving ,kind heart. When you have such a kind heart as you do it is easy to get it hurt. I know you would never hurt someone on purpose so it is hard to understand when it happens to you. Just remember, when someone is rude to you that is a reflection on them not you! Try not to take it personal, maybe they have problems that no one knows about and are just venting on you.
Keep smiling that is your gift to the world! emoticon

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SHERRYWILSON 3/8/2013 11:08PM

    Thanks it's true you just got to decide wich role your going to be everyone has better days than other and I am the same way I hope on my worst days I'm still confident enough about my service and situations not to be a bully or do sarcastic I hurt others if I offend anyone I will apologize but I am pretty easy going not hard to get a long with I'm honest respectful and loves to do her job and mostly a happy go lucky person who has been told I smile to much but hey that's what makes me me I feel good a out myself for the most part I just want others who not as fortunate as me on the positive front I used to negative to the point I felt sorry for myself I deserve respect just like everyone is does and if you got mental illness it isn't your fault and don't blame yourself for it just be positive about it take it one day at a time try something new like journaling to get it off your chest talk to a friend about it what ever makes you feel better about it I'm thinking about after everything like this plant a new seed to try to start new healthy chapter along my new healthy corn plants that's what I'm planting veggies and maybe a few flowers but I want zucchini and squash okra and eggplants tomato cucumbers and onions lettuce carrots potatoes lettuce leaf romaine and spinach seems like I'm missing something kale and carrots to go into stews and salads and boy I'm getting Hungary just thinking about it

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NEW-N-FIT-ME 3/8/2013 10:48PM

    It's hard sometimes when people hurt you, but I know you can find the strength to move on and don't let those people hurt you...

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What I know about me and how I feel about me

Monday, March 04, 2013

What I know about me are :
I'm loyal
caring
try to be a good friend
good co-worker
Respectful
Don't hesitate to help anyone
What I feel:
Respect goes along way but I don't feel respected
I'm pretty positive person
Try to keep everyone up positive
But today I just feel like I don't matter anymore I know this is wrong
But when you keep getting told that you never do anything your always busting rump to keep people out of trouble that don't care about me as far as I do my job I feel my job is important and I try everything and I do everything without hesitation I don't even mind till I get talked down to disrespected and feel worse than dirt I'm above the ground not below it and my emotional state Is getting affected by all this I just think it should be me who's happy healthy and feeling on top the world but unfortunately I don't the reason why is emotional abuse is just as bad as hitting and right now my mental state is depressed and emotionally hurt by others words I know in my heart none of it is true but it still hurts when you hear the remarks being told to you by your boss because she is upset says things about the last few days didn't even have anything to do with me I wasn't there I was off but somehow it was my fault nothing was done I told her I wasn't there I couldn't tell her why nothing was done I got most of my sandwiches done today but I was also being pulled from sandwiches to do cutting meat and cheese and cooking but it's hard to get everything done when you jumping from area to area but this is also the reason I love my job because my add isn't affected it actually works in my favor I feel better positive about myself unless I hear daily like in the past few months while at work how bad she feels I'm doing I'm just tired of being beat down emotionally by my boss it mean no reason for it I think she great even though she is stressed out isn't a good excuse to belittle to the point I want to quit cause I feel like I'm in the way not getting anything done I just feel shattered and broken like she don't want me their I never felt like I wasn't wanted like this before I been passing it off as the probably the winter blues but if im at home i I'm just fine and I'm coming to a point that I'm feeling I'm hurting myself by allowing her to make me feel like that emotional and not myself I don't want to quit at all like I say I really like my job till she gets stressed tells me that I'm the reason everything not done or like today the comments I got today was like about reading skills I can read but I don't know why she said that I needed to read the paper I follow instructions all the time and when she told me that she better not have to break out the colored crayons to draw me a pretty picture of how to put a wrap together what is so hard about throwing lettuce meat sauce and cheese and more lettuce then wrap it up like in tortillas shell I read everyday it really hurt my feelings by making the insult of my reading skills and that I don't do my job I just tired of trying anymore to help when all I hear is no I don't want you doing that I'm like needs done and I'm able to do it now so I just keep getting in trouble I can't clock in without her getting mad and glaring at me she says I take to long to get up there I'm there by 5 after the latest unless I'm running late I'm not allowed to talk to anyone if they see me and stop me say hey I get griped out out for that even if its less than a minute it's sad I just don't feel good about myself anymore in last 2 months I never felt this low while at work its not me always happy go lucky till lately now I'm just sad depressed but the reality of it all I'm fine till I get to work
I never felt as bad as I do now but I'm taking it a day at a time wishing us all the best it will come we are short handed really bad right now on top of it all

  
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SHERRYWILSON 3/5/2013 11:59AM

    Sad thing is I really like the people I work with even the my boss I love it here and just say keeping up the positive attitude I forgave it and went on so everyday is a new day

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ATTACKFATCAT 3/5/2013 10:04AM

    No one should be treated like that in any situation. I would definitely try to talk to her in a way that will make her not too defensive, as in "It makes me feel ____ when you talk to me like this. Could you try ____ instead if you need to talk to me about something?" This may not work if she's a bully, but it can at least start the process of changing your work environment. Start documenting what she says and when, and if there are any witnesses. If she continues to berate you, go up the chain of command and show them what you've documented. And while this is going on, if you can, try to find another job. As much as you may love the job, no one deserves that level of verbal abuse and until you stand up to her and the bullying, she'll just keep doing it. She wants to get a rise out of you and likely wants to hurt you, so try not to let her see it impact you. If you respond neutrally with "yes ma'am, no ma'am, I understand, OK" and you don't show that you're upset, she may eventually stop if she can't get an emotional reaction out of you. Good luck!

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SHERRYWILSON 3/5/2013 9:47AM

    Staying positive is a major improvement on depression and anxiety I don't think I can I know I can and will be a better person for all my strength gained along from my struggles it's just an improving my judgement skills for others and keep focusing on the positive I can only do so much I will do what I can if that's not good enough that fine to but all I can do is all I can do and shouldn't be talked down to or treated like I'm not doing anything I do the best I can if its not good enough then I can't help ya out anyways so that's how I'm feeling now positive god only gives you test that I can handle it and learn from other critism and be a better person for it so maybe I should say thanks for the added strength training lesson and keep on doing what I do best how I can I'm glad I finally feel better overall it just one of those areas that take time like everything else takes time I don't feel I need medication today after all it's a new day and I hope everyone has fresh good start everyday yesterday is over and done now I'm here strong standing up and winning you might of knocked me down but I am back up and ready stronger than before I hope everyone understands what I'm trying say negativity is just another emotion to keep ya down don't believe it no matter who says it or you tell yourself say no I am not that way and tell yourself how good you are and what your worth everybody is worth a lot everyone has great things to offer but just has harder ways of showing we are all worth it we are all strong in diffrent areas take it a run I'm building my weakness by strengthing them up depression anxiety is a weakness an illness that I used to feel I can't control but the reality is you can you can do what ever your heart wants you just got to go get it and finish it like my blog here was bad sad but now I'm happy positive and over all I don't hate or disrespect anyone I feel encourage to go forward now that you can do it if I can you can right do it with me

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METALJEN73 3/5/2013 9:22AM

    Hope things are looking better for you! Hang in there. emoticon

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SHERRYWILSON 3/5/2013 8:56AM

    I'm keeping positive still going

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SHERRYWILSON 3/5/2013 6:49AM

    Me too we Need help but I feel more like in a prison than work for the reasoning didn't quit it wouldn't been fair to the rest of the department who I get along well with I think I'm an easy person to get along with but the last month I been hearing how bad she feels I am I'm thinking I'm over stressed from hearing how bad i am it's been several months now

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CONTAY3 3/4/2013 9:33PM

    Sherry, so sorry you have to go through that. You need to talk to her and if that doesn't do any good, go over her head. Don't hesitate. You are worth more than that. If that doesn't work, then start looking for another job. You don't need to be treated like that. You are a human being too.
Good luck and best wishes.
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CONTAY3 3/4/2013 9:33PM

    Sherry, so sorry you have to go through that. You need to talk to her and if that doesn't do any good, go over her head. Don't hesitate. You are worth more than that. If that doesn't work, then start looking for another job. You don't need to be treated like that. You are a human being too.
Good luck and best wishes.
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MOOSETLC 3/4/2013 7:30PM

    Oh wow! I worked in the food industry and a had a manager like that for the last year...punched safes, knocked buns over, luckily I found another job after a year and I don't think I would ever go back to that industry.

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SHERRYWILSON 3/4/2013 8:21AM

    We been understaffed since before Christmas I know if it be me like I said I understand where she coming from I honestly do but it just seems to me lately that it just getting to her as a whole she is a great boss she works her tail off I respect that a lot I know she gets all the heat from everyone's mistakes that in itself is not worth the headache to me but she wanted that position so I also think she should realize that also her attitude makes it to where we work good or bad i tried to talk to her about how she makes me feel but she just mad and don't care I kept trying to tell her it be ok we can get it let's she told me to focus on sandwiches I did good but I didn't get very far because I had to slice meat and cheese too and work hot case and the sad thing is I always do all 3 no problems I keep saying all we can do is what we can and I did what I could as fast as I could and it wasn't good enough one of our hands was gone on vacation all last week she was getting it too and so was the lady who was gone for the last 4 days we all got the other people's insults and remarks it was none of our faults none of us was even there but she is off today I'm been wanting to ask her what I have ever done to make her treat me the way she does because I do my job I'm a hard worker everyone says I do a good job too that she just stressed out right now don't pay attention to it much well I hate to say it I used to be able to but after few months of the same ole crap I just don't get what I have done I hi set my feel just coming in puts her in a bad mood every time she sees me it seems instant attitude I'm not thinking that I have done anything to make her upset it just my nerves are crazy now because I get constant eye rolls or remarks I just wanted to leave yesterday and never go back but honestly I couldn't and wouldn't walk out on my coworkers like that just because I got mad or my feelings hurt a little bit I trying to fight depression but the only time fighting is at work I'm fine at home pretty much my husband hates seeing go to work ready to conquer the world and come home feeling worthless and stupid I'm not neither one but it sure dies make a person not feel good when you bust your rear every shift and not appreciated for it she never really has been this upset but when she came into no one stocking pizzas no sandwiches made to put out to sell I make mistakes i'm human and one person not responsible for what everyone else actions are but I made to feel like I am to do every thing and other can stand around and talk that's not even fair they don't get talked to or yelled at but every time she has something she wants said it's voiced to me I'm not even the assistant it crazy I just wished others would help me out and do what suppose to be done so that my boss would calm down some but she does take all the heat for all of us but I think she should watch and see what's going on and not just get angry and go off she says she never sees me because unless I'm on overs I'm either cooking or washing dishes working hot case and or loading and unloading rottiseries
We have a lot of work and salads and sandwiches has to be done with 2 people explain that process to me how can you cook every 2 hours predict when customers going to order meat and or cheese plus fill the rotisseries pull the food after every 2 hours and not get behind if ones constantly cooking the other is meat and cheese slicer and helping put food down to cook when told I need this ok just a sec or to get dump in fryer and it started in the process while she helping customers it's not that hard or big of a deal to do I do it as helping others in our department I'm a very big team player every one says I team play to much that I need to stand back and breathe sometimes I never get my breaks and lunches on time cause I'm Always in the middle of something I have respect for my coworkers and leads but I feel when they talk down to me disrespected and I just want to keep my department going you know I feel it's me a part but everyone as a whole I'm just part of it I shouldn't be the only part in trouble you know lately I feel down about work but even we get the 2 new hands I'm sure everything will go back to normal I can't wait for the relaxing days to come I can't wait to get all this extra heavy anxiety weight off my chest it hurts to breathe too. I been saying I might need on meds but if I have another bad week next week I will start back on them because I used to like myself now I don't I feel too emotional I don't like that

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SWEETYOUNGTHING 3/4/2013 5:40AM

    Wow - this sounds like something I would have written. My job can depress the HECK out of me sometimes. More times than not, as of late. I just keep my eyes open for something else. I don't have a critical boss but I'm very isolated in my job - little to no people contact.

Have you told your boss how you feel? I don't know how approachable she is. I know that can be a double edged sword but perhaps it's worth a try.

Best of luck - Mondays are always harder than the rest it seems! Pat

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ANGELA76H 3/4/2013 12:52AM

    Hope things get better for you at work soon! Take care!

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