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SHERRYLHBB's Recent Blog Entries

Everything Is As It Should Be (Formerly "Life is Perfect")

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I'm sitting on my bed with a quiet mind. The balcony door open. I'm watching the light play off a tree's leaves as they flutter in the breeze. I can hear the rustling leaves and gusts of wind, people and cars nearby going about their business. I can smell grilled steak from the restaurant next door and the aroma of baking yeasty bread from the commercial bakery up the street. A thought flashed in my mind, "I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now."

Life is not perfect in that there are a lot of things that could improved. On the other hand, life is perfect in its imperfection. For some reason I feel like I was supposed to get laid off from my job so that I could finally have the time and circumstances to grow up emotionally, learn to love myself, and get fit and healthy. I feel like I am in a life training program right now, getting prepared for the next phase of life. I am where I need to be right now. I am doing exactly what I need to be doing right now. Life IS perfect.

Update: Not long after posting this blog entry I tripped and fell down a long, dark hole. I still KNOW that what I wrote is true, but it sure doesn't FEEL like it is. Sometimes things happen in life that makes me wonder. I was so calm and at peace with the world this afternoon. Then, just as I'm enjoying the ride, life sends me a twist. Is it a test to see if I've really learned anything? Is it just a strange coincidence? I'm a monkey who likes to grab hold of the next vine before I let go of the one I'm holding, For some reason, lately I've been repeatedly prevented from doing this. Instead, I let go and I'm flying through the air.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LMBARR1 4/29/2010 9:04AM

    Hello my dearest sis,

This morning is actually my first time on spark. My daughter "L" set it up for me and now I am trying to figure it out. thank you for the spark goodie.

Keep on Keepin on! you are doing great! emoticon

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RASLALIQUE 4/28/2010 10:54PM

    Sometimes we forget things. Even if you don't feel it right now, it still is true. Just remind yourself that it is true. Eventually the light will start to creep in and you will start to know that Life is Perfect and everything is as it should be. All the best to you!

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This Hare Got Punked

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Slow and steady wins the race. Yeah, tell that to the suckers eating my dust!

On Sunday, I did an intense full-body workout focusing on strength exercises. I completed a laundry list of exercises such as pushups, tricep dips, lunges, some other floor exercises, and a whole bunch of stuff using my balance ball. I was kicking behinds and taking names! Okay, not really. I was alone in my living room using the fitness routine generator on SparkPeople. I completed one routine and decided to do another. By the end, I was really feeling it, but that's good, right?

Monday rolls around and I have a tad bit of trouble getting out of bed because I'm so tight, especially my thighs. But I've got my pilates class to go to so there's no stopping me. In class, I did my best, but I was so sore and tight that I was having trouble in parts of the class that I usually have no problem with. I breathed through it and finished the class. Woohoo!

Today is yoga. There's no way I'm going. I can't even walk down my stairs. I really thought about going anyway, but it's the toughest class of the week and if I had this much trouble with pilates yesterday when I wasn't this sore and tired.... Needless to say, the yoga class went on without me. However, I did some gentle stretching throughout the day, and then at 4pm I road the elliptical for 40 minutes followed by some more stretching. I was pretty proud of myself for exercising on my own.

Then there's now. I can barely move. My whole body aches, but especially my thighs. I think it was the lunges that did me in.

The moral of the story: moderation, moderation, moderation! I need to pace myself. Seven moderate days are much better than one kick-butt day followed by several days of struggle. I feel like I made a mistake overdoing it, but I've learned my lesson. I need to become one with the turtle and let the hare do what it does somewhere else.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATIVE_ONE 4/28/2010 7:23AM

    sounds as if you did great on all accounts. your workout and giving yourself time to recover. continued success being sent your way!

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LEASIM1231 4/28/2010 1:39AM

    Well, at least you know you have the abilibty to do so much...

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MINIUM 4/28/2010 1:14AM

    Excellent! I hope you're drinking lots of water too (I was about to write flower!!! I should go back to bed!!!).
Have a lovely day, as painless as can be!

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S3XYDIVASMOM 4/27/2010 11:58PM

    I did the same thing but I was in a strength class. I was experiencing a burn that was already unpleasant even before I finished the class. Two days later I could hardly walk. And that was even with the common sense approach of 48 hours rest between strength trainings. So I decided it was okay to be a slacker at times. I think , for me, it is commendable to even show up. I suspect that I am by far the oldest participant in the class.

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Emotional Eating Backslide

Monday, April 26, 2010

Yesterday was a tough one. Hubby and I started the day in a lazy way. I made scrambled eggs and cake-like lemon poppy seed muffins with lemon glaze drizzle (one of Hubbyís favorites). I indulged, eating two muffins, which were delicious.

Not long after breakfast, my mother called. It was a nice enough conversation, but after hanging up I felt kind of down. The call was relatively uneventful so I was a bit confused, but Hubby suggested that it might be a crash from eating too much sugar. I donít know. I couldnít seem to get rid of the funk all day.

After dinner, I could not stop thinking about eating more. I was full. Iíd eaten a healthy and filling meal. But I wanted more. Hours went by. I kept trying to figure out why I was feeling so driven to eat, but I couldnít figure it out. I finally gave up fighting and ate 10 pistachios and two more of the lemon poppy seed muffins (over 200 calories each). Once I ate, it felt like my whole body sighed. I had no more desire to eat. I still donít get it.

Iím not happy that I consumed over 500 calories more for the day than the top end of my calorie range. Iím also sad that I slid backwards in the emotional eating department. However, at least this time I was fully aware of what I was doing instead of just eating mindlessly. Also, I did eat too much for the day, but this was a small divergence compared to the damage I used to do. Finally, I know this is a bump in the road, and possibly one I can learn from. If I keep driving forward, being mindful of my diet and exercise on a consistent basis, then I will eventually achieve my goals.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEASIM1231 4/27/2010 11:17AM

    Everyone has said encouraging words...mine are that I would love to try the muffins! I just can't make any yummy things like that or I eat them all...or I have to make them and give them away right away, but then I am selfish and want to keep them...

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FOCUSEDDIANE 4/26/2010 9:23PM

    Wow! I think this blog shows how much you have changed.....for the positive. For the rest of our lives we will have to deal with the impact of emotions. You stayed mindful throughout the entire day. You consciously made the choice to eat.....consciously. And because you were mindful, you ate far less than you would have in the past.

You may not be happy with the fact that you ate extra calories, but please be proud of yourself for how far you have come!!!!!!!!

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JOKNOWS 4/26/2010 9:03PM

    Boy, I could have wrote this blog today. I had two chocolate chip cookies that were 250 calories each. But you're moving forward. You have taken giant steps just by being aware that you were feeling a certain way that made you eat.
emoticonHere' to getting back on track and making it work.

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SPUNKYSPARKER 4/26/2010 4:52PM

    hi! i can very much relate to your sentiments about emotional overeating. did you ever figure out exactly why you were feeling down? i am finding that there is always a plausible root cause, no matter how insignificant it may seem to someone else. i sure hope you did so that you will have learned from the experience. and good for you for realizing it and writing about it...that's such a great step in the right direction!!!! i get the sense that a lot of sparker "messed up" this weekend...interesting...

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MINIUM 4/26/2010 4:38PM

    You will definitely succeed if you keep this mindset - as you said, it's only 'a bump in the road' (I like that phrase!). emoticon

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Appetite vs. Hunger (and Fear)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Last night one of the SP trivia questions I answered was whether hunger and appetite are the same thing. They are different. I paraphrase: hunger is a physical desire for nourishment and appetite is the desire to eat. They can occur together, but one can have an appetite without being hungry or have hunger without any appetite.

The distinction between the two really made me think about my own hunger and appetite. I believe that much of the time I have appetite before I have hunger and when I do have hunger I really try to eat something before my hunger gets too strong.

Before SP I so rarely had hunger. I made sure of that. The only time I felt hunger was if I were in a situation where I had no food and could not get food and it was around mealtime. During those time, once I became hungry, the hunger would escalate very quickly. I would feel so out of control. I would feel like I might collapse or die if I didn't get food. I would become so driven that nothing else mattered but to stop the hunger. It is a terrible feeling. Did I mention that I would get incredibly short-tempered and snap at people if they presented any sort of obstacle to my obtaining of food? I would become a food-seeking missile and heaven help anyone standing in my way.

This makes me wonder...Do I avoid hunger because I fear it so much? Is hunger really that scary or potentially harmful? Would I really pass out or die? Do I feel the way I do because my blood sugar gets low or is there some other reason why I feel the way I do?

Since starting SP I have tried to wait until I am hungry before eating, but I still eat soon after I start feeling hungry so as not to get to that out-of-control state. I wonder what would happen now if I let the hunger grow. Have I learned something from my experiences lately to be able to understand and cope better? Or would I still feel the fear? I don't think I'm ready to find out yet. But this might be something that I need to explore.

How does hunger make you feel? Do you just want to eat or does it trigger any other feelings?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALEXSGIRL1 4/26/2010 5:17AM

    when i grew up there were 5 kids and then my dad left. we ate bread and tea for supper many a night. when there was food i tried to give more to the little ones being oldest but if you didn't eat quick it was gone. so to this day no i don't like hunger and i know why. so when i am hungry i eat but try to make it a good healthy food in case i go out of control. good blog you will have a lot of people thinking emoticon

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    I wonder the same thing about myself. One of the books I read emphasized that hunger is not an emergency, but I still haven't been able to stop reacting that way.

Thought-provoking blog.

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MINIUM 4/25/2010 3:29AM

    I'm just like you - hunger makes me feel and be horrible. So I try to avoid it at all costs. I carry a soy drink, some nuts and some dried apricots or prunes around with me just in case.

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LEASIM1231 4/25/2010 2:09AM

    Nice blog...I kind of feel like I have a fear of hunger, so I always make sure to eat enough and bring food with me...I am sure I would survive, but I hate to feel hungry. To have hunger for a little while is ok, but after a time, I get really grumpy, so it is also for everyone else's sake that I have to eat. I am going to try to think of this, "Is it hunger or just a lustful appetite?" :P

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Wussy Fitness Instructors

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I'd like to know who swapped me for this person who becomes disappointed when wussy fitness instructors don't kick my behind.

Today, I had a substitute pilates instructor. She was very nice and did a really good job of providing explanations on proper form and such, but the class was milquetoasty. After almost 50 minutes, I only burned 264 calories and my heartrate was max of 118 and average of 89. That's not nearly what it normally is.

When I started doing pilates, I struggled through the whole class. Now, I still can't do teasers all the way up, but I can do most everything else. Today showed me just how far I've come in only a couple of months. (Secretly, I was kind of glad that today's class wasn't too difficult, because I still felt like I was recovering from a challenging yoga class on Tuesday and a core-intensive water jogging class yesterday.)

I now have a new appreciation for my usual, demanding (yet nice) fitness instructors. Hit me with your best shot, 'cuz I'm ready!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOKNOWS 4/23/2010 11:06PM

    emoticonAren't those changes wonderful? P.S. like the word "milquetoasty" sounds like it aptly describes the instructor! emoticon

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LEASIM1231 4/23/2010 1:01AM

    I would like to do yoga or pilates some time....

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MINIUM 4/23/2010 12:17AM

    Well done! How nice it is to see we're progressing. Keep up the good work! emoticon

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