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Sherry and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year

Saturday, November 29, 2014

This weekend is my one year "sick-iversary"! Oh, it hasn't been one thing where I could say "I have whatever and this is the suggested treatment". Goodness no. First was the increased damage/pain in my wrists from ill fitted braces. Took a couple of weeks for the extra pain to settle back down to the normal levels. Then a doctor started mixing up some of my medications and they really messed up my system. One of them had me sleeping constantly and when I complained, she upped my dose. I went back to her in tears. I'm a single mother of an autistic kid. I can't be sleeping all the time! So she finally switched me to something else that just gave me painful cramps instead. I stopped going to her.

About this time (February, I think, maybe March) the sinus infections set in. Over the next several months I was on 6 or 7 rounds of antibiotics and 2 doses of steroids (one shot, one oral prescription).

So after I spent several months practically bedridden, my parents moved my kids and me into their house. Unfortunately, I've been unable to plan meals, cook, or exercise with any consistency at all so I have gained about 20lbs over this year. However, I do have medical insurance now! My primary care doctor referred me to an allergist. The allergen panel came up with 3 positive results... a certain kind of pollen, cockroaches, and wheat. He said they were all mild reactions and not something to change my entire diet over (the wheat, not the pollen or roaches, haven't eaten roaches since that apartment in college with the nasty neighbor... shudder...I still obsessively look at dishes/cups before using them) However, he did adjust my medications for my NON-allergic rhinitis (nasty bugger, that one) and asthma. That helped a lot but I still had a lot of tightness in my chest and megawatt headaches.

Next up, neurologist! Oh, I love that man! It's been about 2 weeks since I started taking his pills and I can open my eyes in rooms with lights on! I still find myself squinting a lot and I still pretty much have a headache but it's more consistently below a 5. Yay!

Last week I met a new one: gastroenterologist. She has some theories about the chest tightness but we haven't had a chance to really run any tests yet what with the holiday weekend. But I gave her some key words to work with, apparently things like rhinitis, asthma, migraine, ADHD, GERD, wheat allergy can all be related in some crazy gastrointestinal way and I'll have to get back to you on that one. Tests pending!

I'm also hoping to see a new ortho/hand specialist this coming week but that's actually unrelated. Underlying structural problems in my arms (ulnar positive variance) caused TFCC tear and ulnar impaction syndrome blah blah blah. Upshot is consistent pain is turning more and more into tingles and lack function in fingers (especially pinky and ring).

So, yes, my year has pretty much completely sucked and I'm not sure where to take my life from here. I'm very slowly getting my health, strength, and energy levels back. I can't do something active every day but I am spending more and more time out of bed. Actually cooked a little, sewed a little, done a few things here and there. It sucks but moving forward I get to redefine my life. And that's exciting... scary! but exciting!


The "P" word

Monday, September 30, 2013

I always tell my kids, "There's no such thing as 'perfect'." "Practice makes improvement, don't worry about perfect, go for better or amazing, perfect is unattainable".

As I was sitting here contemplating my day I caught myself being upset that I didn't do everything "perfectly". I only tracked my breakfast today and probably had too many carbs and not enough protein.

However, I did put 2 hours in to taming this mess I call a home. My autistic 10 year old daughter commented on how much better it looked when she got home from school! And I did do a 30 minute cardio video this morning.

Everything I ate today was healthy, even though I didn't take the time to record all of it. For lunch I had a turkey wrap and a sweet potato followed by a granola bar and some grapes. Then for dinner I had 2 black bean and salsa soft tacos, no cheese, no sour cream... I'm still hoping staying off dairy will help my sinus problems. I need to make up a full vegan menu for the week. I enjoy food so much more when there aren't any corpses in it... emoticon

So was my day "perfect"? Not by any means. Was it better than last Monday? Definitely! And that's what matters! I will never reach "perfect" but I can strive for excellence and improving just a little bit whenever I can.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLRASSLL 10/2/2013 4:53AM

    You are thinking the right way that's for sure! I see to many people give up because they aren't perfect. Who needs that pressure? I love "practice makes improvement"! I might have to borrow that one.

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1STATEOFDENIAL 10/1/2013 4:20AM

    Perfection is failing to be normal. So even if someone could possibly be perfect, they'd still fail at something.

Prioritize. What are the most important goals you need to accomplish today? If you meet those, you're doing good. Then think about what you really want to get done today and work on that. If you finish all of that, then do something that could get done. If all you accomplish in the day are 2 or 3 important tasks, then you still accomplished something! If you get something started but don't finish it, then just try again another day.

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    Perfect isn't attainable, and thus we set ourselves up for disappointment and failure. Improvement is the key! emoticon

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CASTIRONLADY 9/30/2013 9:59PM

    LOVE your cat on your head. Nope, it's progress not perfection. Even when someone tells you they've done it perfectly there is no perfect. emoticon

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UMBILICAL 9/30/2013 9:58PM

  Practice what you preach (imperfectly, of course)

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Ready to re-commit

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Since April I have gained and lost the same 5lbs probably 4 or 5 times. I recognize that it's probably just normal fluctuations but it's still frustrating and not where I want to be. In fact, this morning I weighed in at 25lbs to my goal weight.

It was a difficult summer. I've been dealing with financial problems, stress, depression... all sorts of unpleasantness that makes it difficult to stay on track. But I accept that my life won't change until I do. So I'm working on some projects that will hopefully lead me to the change I need.

One thing I'm doing is an online boot camp. It actually costs $97 for the 8 weeks but they offer a "Pay It Forward" program to their free e-mail list. This time I actually saw the e-mail before they announced it was closed! So I sent the e-mail explaining my situation and when the announced deadline came and went I figured oh well. Nothing lost. But on day 4 I had all the e-mails waiting for me when I woke up! It's been wonderful! The biggest and hardest thing they work on is the internal stuff. They want you to really think about what you're doing and why. The workouts are easy compared to the written assignments!

But I'm still not seeing the results I want. Well, I haven't logged my food in months. Maybe I'm not being honest with myself about what I'm eating. So it's time to pull up the SP app on my phone and start logging as I eat again! Maybe I can finally break past the 160 mark and reach my goal by my birthday in May. (My original goal was my birthday this past May... no worries... I have my whole life emoticon)

SP was really working for me and I miss my SparkFriends so why wouldn't I hang out here more?


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VBPARROTHEAD 10/2/2013 11:46AM

  Gald that you are back! I hope the exercise routine and "homework" helps with the stress! I know what stress is like and it is literally a killer! Keep up the good work and think positive thoughts! Sometimes that is hard but you can do it!
Thanks you also for all of the encouragement and support on my blog!
emoticon emoticon Every day is the first day of the rest of your life!

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1STATEOFDENIAL 9/30/2013 4:24AM

    I'm glad you're doing this bootcamp. Sometimes we have to face the difficult things we have buried inside, the reasons why we are unhealthy - physically, mentally, or both. I know things have been hard for you, but I also know you've been hanging in there. It's better to maintain (a 5 pound window is maintaining) than to gain.

I hope you also find some ways to lower your stress level. Now that Supernatural Season 9 is starting in a week and a half, you can spend that hour each week stepping out of your life and your stresses to focus on something we love. (Of course we'll stress about Sam, Dean, Cas, and everyone, but at least we're not stressing about our own issues.)

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I wish I'd known this earlier!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

I've been doing some reading and learned that a lot of people with chronic sinus problems like I have get relief by eating a gluten free diet. So I started researching GF diets and thinking about the complications of making the change. Today I saw my mom and told her that I was planning to go GF to see if I got any relief for my problems.

She thought about it for a moment and then informed me that when I was a newborn I was so congested (see? this really HAS been with me my entire life!) that the doctor put me on soy formula and my sinuses cleared up. Freaking frack? Mom! Why'd you put me back on dairy when I started on solid foods??? Oh well. I probably would have done the same thing.

So now, instead of starting by trying to eliminate gluten (which sounds REALLY difficult, btw) I need to identify which foods I'm eating have dairy ingredients in them. Milk and eggs are very sneaky and hiding in a lot of foods you wouldn't suspect! Obvious culprits are sour cream, butter, cheese, ice cream, yogurt. Many pastries are made with milk, cream, and/or eggs.

I have never learned to like the process of food... planning meals, making shopping lists, going shopping, putting everything away, prepping, cooking... none of it. I loathe the entire process. But if my lazy approach to food is what's been causing my breathing problems all these years, I can at least learn to love the benefits of the process, even if I never learn to fully enjoy doing it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1STATEOFDENIAL 9/23/2013 3:14AM

    Interesting information! Food allergies and intolerance are more prevalent than people realize, since the symptoms aren't always obvious. Hopefully getting rid of dairy will be helpful for you!

Since you don't like dealing with planning meals, making lists, etc, could you pull a Sheldon Cooper (from Big Bang Theory) and have one meal each night of the week, every week? For instance, every Monday is lasagna, Tuesday is stew, etc (your list will be totally different, but just for the sake of example). This way you only have to design the plan then you can reuse the shopping list every week and you will become so used to preparing and cooking that it won't take as much effort. You can always adjust it if you need to, but it wouldn't take much effort to change 1 meal per week than to figure out what to make every night. You could also consider batch cooking as another option, so you cook on one day then only have to heat and eat on other days. There are plenty of 'quick fix' options out there also, such as bagged salad and premade sauce that will help. Setting up any process will take time and effort at the beginning, but then it makes it easier later on.

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MJRVIC2000 9/22/2013 4:44PM

    Remember that there is a BIG difference bwtween making a DECISION and making a COMMITMENT! God Bless YOU! Vic.

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Wednesday, September 11, 2013

When school got out in the spring all of my routines went poof. I stopped exercising regularly, stopped tracking my food, and started eating more empty calories. Not like I would have before I changed my attitude but still, there it was, sugar and soda and fries almost every day. It's a wonder I didn't gain any weight. I did, however, notice that my shorts were a little less comfortable and have been wearing my larger size jeans.

When school started a couple of weeks ago I started making some steps back in the healthy direction. I'm still not doing everything that I know I need to be doing regularly but at least I am doing it all weekly! The scale hasn't budged an ounce in months but today the receptionist and 2 therapists at the clinic I take my daughter to all mentioned they thought I was looking better since we were there 2 weeks ago! So something MUST be happening, even if I haven't really noticed yet!

Hm, maybe I should try those shorts again... emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Keep on going with your goals! emoticon

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1STATEOFDENIAL 9/11/2013 6:26PM

    I'm glad you're getting back into your healthier lifestyle. Remember, changes happen within our body before outside our body, and your mood can change based on whether you're getting proper nutrition or not. I'd be willing to bet that you looked more awake, lively, bright and shining, and/or happier. Even without losing a pound or an inch, that change in your demeanor can make a difference. Try this: sit in a slumped over position for 5 minutes, then sit up straight for 5 minutes. Even just a posture change can change how you feel and look.

Keep it up!

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