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GOSSIPING - A SERIES - PART 2

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Scriptures to back up the first blog of the series

Backstabbing
1. 1 Timothy 6:2
The Message (MSG)
These are the things I want you to teach and preach. If you have leaders there who teach otherwise, who refuse the solid words of our Master Jesus and this godly instruction, tag them for what they are: ignorant windbags who infect the air with germs of envy, controversy, bad-mouthing, suspicious rumours. Eventually there's an epidemic of backstabbing, and truth is but a distant memory. They think religion is a way to make a fast buck.

2. Romans 1:28
The Message (MSG)
Since they didn't bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. And then all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering, and cheating. Look at them: mean-spirited, venomous, fork-tongued God-bashers. Bullies, swaggerers, insufferable windbags! They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. They ditch their parents when they get in the way. Stupid, slimy, cruel, cold-blooded. And it's not as if they don't know better. They know perfectly well they're spitting in God's face. And they don't care—worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!

3.Romans 8:31
The Message (MSG)
So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

Gossiping
1. Proverbs 25:23
New Living Translation (NLT)
As surely as a north wind brings rain,so a gossiping tongue causes anger!

2.1 Timothy 5:13
New Living Translation (NLT)
And if they are on the list, they will learn to be lazy and will spend their time gossiping from house to house, meddling in other people’s business and talking about things they shouldn’t.

3. 3 John 1:10
New International Version (NIV)
So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.

Slander
4.Leviticus 19:16
New Living Translation (NLT)
“Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people. “Do not stand idly by when your neighbour’s life is threatened. I am the Lord.

5. Psalm 15:2-4 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
    2He who (A)walks with integrity, and works righteousness,
         And (B)speaks truth in his heart.
    3He (C)does not slander with his tongue,
         Nor (D)does evil to his neighbor,
         Nor (E)takes up a reproach against his friend;
    4In whose eyes a reprobate is despised,
         But who (F)honors those who fear the LORD;
         He (G)swears to his own hurt and does not change;

6.Psalm 31:13 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
For I have heard the slander of many, Terror is on every side;While they took counsel together against me,They schemed to take away my life.

5.Psalm 35:15 New Living Translation (NLT)
But they are glad now that I am in trouble;they gleefully join together against me.I am attacked by people I don’t even know;they slander me constantly.

6.Psalm 41:6New International Version (NIV)
Whenever one comes to see me, he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander; then he goes out and spreads it abroad.

7. Psalm 54:5New International Version (NIV)
Let evil recoil on those who slander me; in your faithfulness destroy them.

8. Psalm 56:2New International Version (NIV)
My slanderers pursue me all day long; many are attacking me in their pride.

9. Psalm 101:5New International Version (NIV)
Whoever slanders his neighbour in secret, him will I put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, him will I not endure.

10. Proverbs 10:18New International Version (NIV)
He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.

11.Proverbs 17:4New Living Translation (NLT)
Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip;liars pay close attention to slander.

12.Mark 7:21-23 (New Living Translation)
21 For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. 23 All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.”

13. 2 Corinthians 6:8(New Living Translation)
We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors.


LIARS
1. Psalm 26:4New Living Translation (NLT)
I do not spend time with liars or go along with hypocrites.

2. Psalm 27:11The Message (MSG)
Point me down your highway, God; direct me along a well-lighted street; show my enemies whose side you're on. Don't throw me to the dogs, those liars who are out to get me, filling the air with their threats.

3. Psalm 55:23New Living Translation (NLT)
But you, O God, will send the wickeddown to the pit of destruction.Murderers and liars will die young,but I am trusting you to save me.

4. Psalm 120:3The Message (MSG)
Do you know what's next, can you see what's coming, all you barefaced liars? Pointed arrows and burning coals will be your reward.

5. Proverbs 12:22 The Message (MSG)
God can't stomach liars; he loves the company of those who keep their word.

6. Malachi 3:5 The Message (MSG)
"Yes, I'm on my way to visit you with Judgment. I'll present compelling evidence against sorcerers, adulterers, liars, those who exploit workers, those who take advantage of widows and orphans, those who are inhospitable to the homeless—anyone and everyone who doesn't honor me." A Message from God-of-the-Angel-Armies.

Plenty to think about. And perhaps that is the key:

STOP

THINK

and only when we are calm....

Respond.
emoticon

  


Gossiping - A Series on Slandering and Other Synonymns

Friday, April 15, 2011

My article for Gossiping is long and extensive. It also has a lot of Christian content in that I wrote it for a Christian site. To shorten it down, I'll be doing a series on Gossip in order to get the entire message out. I hope you are blessed by it and learn a few things, like I did.

Gossiping, Backstabbing Slandering and Liars
©Sheri Liegh Adams 2006-11-25


Since the time man/woman were created by the hand and breath of God, there have been lies. The first lie was from the serpent aka Satan who deceived Eve into eating the forbidden fruit that God had commanded her and Adam to not even touch. Satan lied to Eve because he know once their eyes were opened to the truth, all hell would break loose. And it did. Cain killed Able, men had to work the hard ground so they had food to eat, and women’s pregnancies and birthing because unbearably painful. And ever since time began, roughly 2000 years ago, lies have been told.

Along with lying, comes its 3 siblings: gossiping, backstabbing and slandering. Each will be discussed and you will find Biblical references to each at the end of this lesson.

At some point in our lives, we all have to admit to committing these 4 sins. The problem with each is, once you start down the path of one, the others just kind of slip in there too. Then you start sliding down a very slippery slope to being “lowering than a snakes tale in a well” as my father would say. It takes more than saying you are sorry to overcome this. A special note: ALL of these sins can be overcome and can be beat. It starts with one step – asking God and the person you offended for forgiveness. But it doesn’t stop there. For the forgiveness to mean something, one has to change their behaviour and cease these useless and hurting ways.

Backstabbing: To attack (someone) unfairly, especially in an underhand, deceitful manner: “Some backstab each other and threaten to settle their differences with a punch” (Thomas Boswell).
Backstabbing is much more common than we think. People use it to get further ahead in life such as their job or schooling. Consider your boss walking up to you and telling you that you and 2 of your co-workers were up for a raise and promotion but only one of you were going to get it. When you hear that only one is going to get it, you desperately want it to be you. What if you knew some “good” stuff about the others? You stoop low enough and go to your boss saying, “boss, I have a few concerns about (co-workers’ names) and you rattle on about things that are meaningless to the position and yet would help you out. You just backstabbed your coworkers and friends. You end up with the promotion and raise and your “buddies” find out through your boss what you said (what goes around comes around) and now you are in a higher position BUT nobody trusts you. So you got a promotion and raise – at what cost?

Backstabbing hurts everybody involved, especially the one being backstabbed. You confide in someone and you soon hear your news all over the streets of the city. How do you think you are going to feel? Remember, what you do to others, for whatever reasons, will eventually find its way back to you and you will wind up being the one hurt, backstabbed and untrusting.



Gossip:
1.
idle talk or rumour, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others: the endless gossip about Hollywood stars.

2.
light, familiar talk or writing.

3.
Also, gos‧sip‧er, gos‧sip‧per. a person given to tattling or idle talk.

Gossiping is likely the largest past-time of all workers, volunteers, kids, adults etc. To gossip means to spread rumours about other people. It is people talking about you behind your back whether it is good or bad. The Bible says that gossip is idle and a waste of time. Just think of the lives of all the Hollywood stars or the famous-made evangelists of late and you’ll see a host of gossip.

What business is it of ours whether Tom Cruise and his wife have a baby or not? Whose concern is it whether some preacher falls into sin? How would you feel if the media were watching your every step and just waiting for you to fall so they could spread it all over the world? Talk about pressure!

If our own private lives and the affairs of our lives get out to people we don’t want it to get to, we get hurt and become very untrusting, and actually may become angry. What have you done in private that you would not want the entire world to find out? What if that came out in the 6pm news? All the world suddenly knows your secret. I know you are saying, that would never happen to me – but HOW do you know that? What if they did find out? It would be because there are people you thought you could trust who have broken that bond and spread your “dirty laundry” with people, even if only one person, that you didn’t want it shared with.

All gossip is, is a bunch of people who sit idly and are given into tattling, and idle talk. Those who gossip will have much to account for on the Day Of The Lord. Their spreading rumours have hurt countless people and caused some to even stop talking to anybody at all. And that is the sad part because we ALL need people we can trust with what we say.

Next time you start to hear somebody tell you about the next person’s faults or even t heir victories, stop and think about how you would feel if that was you and you were hiding behind a bush listening. Painful thought, is it not?

Slander:
1.
defamation; calumny: rumors full of slander.

2.
a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name.


Slandering is much like gossiping. However, different from gossiping, slander is done with the intent of hurting and defaming somebody intentionally. It is done out of a malicious heart with the whole purpose and intent on hurting the person intentionally. Some say that words don’t hurt, but I say words hurt the most, because they leave individual scars which are invisible and not seen by the eye alone. Only the heart can see the scars hurtful words leave behind. Physical wounds you can see heal over time, maybe leaving a scar, but emotional scars are invisible and people cannot see them – only you feel them.

To understand what Malicious means, I looked it up in a Thesaurus and these are only SOME of what I came across: awful, bad-natured, baleful, beastly, bitter, catty*, cussed, despiteful, detrimental, envious, evil, evil-minded, ill-disposed, injurious, jealous, low, malevolent, malign, malignant, mean, mischievous, nasty, noxious, ornery, pernicious, pesky, petty, poison-pen, poisonous, rancorous, resentful, spiteful, vengeful, venomous, vicious, virulent, wicked.

To understand what defamatory, I looked up in a dictionary and found this: injurious to reputation; slanderous or libelous
So a Slanderer is one who resentfully and injuriously makes a statement about somebody trying to ruin their good name for no other reason than to hurt that person or to fill their wasted time. My question is, “Why would ANYBODY want to do this to any other person unless they are idle, lazy and have no thought for other people’s feelings. How sad for the Slanderer. They too will have their day in God’s courts.


Picture from Positively Positive on FaceBook

  


Distorted Images Of Self Cleared Up

Friday, April 08, 2011

Credit given where it is due. emoticon

Everybody, at some point in their life, has issues with their own self-image and how they perceive themselves. Being a Christian, it can be doubly confusing as to self-image if we do not understand that having a healthy self-image is good and healthy, but also knowing when that image of our self becomes a vain thing, an object of obsession. I hope the following clears up some of the misconceptions. Because I am a Christian, there are Scripture references.

Colossians 3:10
and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

Genesis 5:1 - 1 This is the written account of Adam's line.
      When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God.

Genesis 1:26 - Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, [a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

From http://www.insearchoftruth.org/articles/se
lf-image.html
I was able to find out these truths:

Proverbs 4:23-27 teaches us that a man’s heart is the centre of the issues of life. How we view or esteem ourselves is of profound importance in recognizing and answering the issues of our lives.
Although our self-image has a great impact upon our own behavior, ultimately it may not reflect the truth. It is only God’s image of us that is true and important. We must learn to accept God’s image of us and reconcile our self-image to His.

We are to have to deepest and most profound sense of confidence, but the foundation of our confidence is not ourselves, it must be God. It is God who enables, strengthens and watches over us.

One should not esteem himself on what he is able to do, nor should he judge what he is able to do simply by his own worth. Each person’s worth is evidenced and evaluated by the weight of this one statement:
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16.
If God valued us such that He was willing to offer the life of His Son, then what must be our value according to God, except the value of His Son’s life?
Each human being is profoundly valuable and worthwhile, no matter how filthy the sinner. Please recall that Jesus died for US while we were yet sinners (Rom. 5:6-8).
Only faith in God provides the confidence upon which a life may be ultimately built and based.

Searching further for more information on self-image, I found this website with some very wise and insightful information:
http://www.christiancourier.com/archives
/self_esteem.htm

No person is one-dimensional. Actually, there are three views of every individual – the view that God has of us, the opinions that others hold concerning us, and the perception we have of ourselves. Each of these is quite important.
First, let us consider the divine vantage point. This is the assessment that is accurate in every detail. The Lord does not observe people merely outwardly, as humans tend to do; rather, “Jehovah looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). The Lord “knows the hearts of the children of men” (1 Kings 8:39). As the godly Hannah acknowledged in her prayer: “...Jehovah is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed” (1 Samuel 2:3). Similarly, Christ once affirmed that He did not need to be educated regarding the inner workings of the human personality, because He Himself “knew what was in man” (John 2:25). If some of the world’s “beautiful people” were turned inside out, and revealed as God sees them, how grotesque they might appear.
Second, there are the sentiments that our peers entertain regarding us. Such assessments are only relatively accurate. Folks may hold an opinion of us that is greatly exaggerated. Those who are in the public eye are rather idealized at times. On the other hand, some, who are sterling in character, sometimes are maligned unjustly. Jesus certainly did not deserve the hateful reproaches that were heaped upon Him. And Paul, the apostle of Christ, suffered a good deal of unmerited character assassination.
Finally, there is that appraisal one makes of himself. Honesty demands that we concede that self-perception may be grossly inflated. That is why we are cautioned not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought (Romans 12:3). We must attempt not to be “high-minded” or “wise in [our] own conceits” (Romans 11:20; 12:16). If we really knew the impressions that others have of us, we might see ourselves in a totally different light, and thus alter our conduct.
It is important, though, that one have a healthy view of oneself. Jesus said that we should love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:39). That implies a sound concept of self-esteem. Sadly, however, many appear to harbor a very meager appreciation of themselves – so much so that it hinders their effective service to God, and torments their lives with much unhappiness. We believe the Scriptures address this problem, and offer hope to those who are unnecessarily morose due to the malady of an impoverished self-esteem.

Cure for Diminished Self-Esteem
In marked contrast to the stagnant world of secularism, biblical revelation presents two thrilling facts which, if embraced, can provide one with an exhilarating sense of individual excellence. The first fact is this: Man possesses dignity by virtue of his divine generation.
The second is: Though blemished by sin, man can regain his self-esteem through the process of spiritual regeneration.
Our hearts truly go out to those who labor under the burden of a diminished self-image. I am not suggesting that the healing of such will be easy or immediate. However, I confidently can offer the promise that the solution to such an impoverished disposition does lie with the pages of Holy Scripture. Pour over the Sacred Writings and imbibe the messages of joy and hope found therein. It can be a life-changing experience.
Excerpts all by by Wayne Jackson
Christian Courier: Archives
Monday, January 18, 1999

Things we must remember when it comes to our self-image are that we are made in God’s own image. Stop and think about that statement. WE are made in the image of Almighty God. What greater honor is there in life than knowing that God designed us after His own image.

We also must remember that even though we are a fallen race due to Adam and Eve’s sin, we can be reconciled to God if we only accept His Son into our lives. In doing so, our lives become esteemed in Christ. It is through Him that we gain a healthy self-image. Because He died for us while we were still sinners!!!! So we must have some value if God’s Son was willing to die the most cruel of deaths for us.

So the next time you look in the mirror and think, “you are so ugly,” remember that you are putting down God’s handiwork and His image. We can have a healthy self-image so long as it is in accordance with God’s image of us. Because ultimately, it is only God’s opinion that counts and He thinks enough of you that He knows every hair on your head. Now that is love and interest.

This image has been seen all over the internet, on various social sites, sent through many, many emails and is hung up in a lot of business I have been in. I think this says it all. We don't need to be big in size, have more success than another person, be the one who never makes a mistake, etc. We need to be the one God created us to be and to enjoy being that person. Accept yourself for who you are. If improvement is needed, then work on it, if you like, for YOU. Don't always be trying to please somebody else. Do what needs to be done for you. If you do not love yourself or respect yourself, how can anybody else love or respect you? And if you are a Christian, you have an even Greater Resource to reach out to for strength, love, compassion etc. Christian or not, a healthy self-image is important, not only for work, socialization etc., but for you to enjoy your moment by moment living and thriving while you have the time. Don't back down or back away - face yourself and love yourself. Nobody can be perfect, but everybody can accept themselves for who they are IF they so choose to. Find the balance between healthy self-acceptance and vanity, and you'll have succeded in finding your health self image.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKCHANTAL 4/8/2011 5:47AM

    oh wow, this is long and complicated.
i go for huna, the basic idea is "there is no reality, but the perception of it".
that's what it boils down to.
hippopotami are beautiful, too!

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R*E*S*P*E*C*T* What It Means!

Thursday, April 07, 2011

dictionary.reference.com/ defines RESPECT in 19 different ways. However, for the purpose of this article, we are going to focus on just 3 -
3.
esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.

4.
deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.

5.
the condition of being esteemed or honored: to be held in respect.

Respect can be shown in many ways. When I was growing up, I was taught to “respect my elders” and that meant ANYBODY that was older than me. I was taught to respect the people in authority over me. That included teachers, the law of the land, doctors, counsellors, religious leaders and more. I was also taught to respect EVERYBODY around me. Everybody deserves to be treated with dignity, truthfulness, compassion and patience until or unless they have done something to violate that privilege.

To respect my elders meant that when they spoke, I was silent. When they asked or told me to do something such as clean up or do a chore, I did it. I many not have Wanted to do it, but I did it because they had many more years behind them, and as my mom would say, “Your legs are a lot younger than theirs.” It also meant that if there was no room on the bus for an older person than me to sit, I stood and gave up mine for them. This didn’t have to be for seniors only, but for anybody who had, perhaps, worked all day and deserved to sit. I loved to sit and listen to elder people talk. Their stories intrigued me and there were many that were like an extra set of Grandparents. Respect the elders around you, whether or not you know them. Give them your seat on the bus, let them walk past you by moving out of the way so they can go past without issue, don’t yell obscenities at them when you cross the street and be kind to them. What you would want done to you, do even more for them.

If you do not respect the authorities, you know there will be consequences. Stealing, speeding, yelling obscenities, getting drunk and disorderly, high and hyper will most often end you in an intense conversation with a police officer. We have laws for a reason and that reason is Safety, but also respect for every person. Every person alive is of value and deserves to be treated as such.

If you didn’t listen to your teachers or counsellors, doctors, there were consequences ranging from detentions, medical issues, and other struggles. I never had a problem in school. I was always the Teacher’s Pet. I liked to help the teachers. My grades were not the greatest but I tried. Doctors I listened to for my own sake of staying healthy. If I was told to take this medication I did so. If I had to stop doing something, for a time, I did so. Why? Because that person had spent 14 years or so in medical school and I hadn’t. Perhaps if I hadn’t have listened, I would have become more ill.

Aside from parents, elderly people and authority figures, there is the rest of the world. Every person living deserves to be treated with respect until or unless they have done something that would cause a person to not trust them. Regardless of race, religion, political views, sexual preference, gender, income level, education level and so on, everybody has the right to be treated well. Even animals deserve to be treated with kindness, tenderness, honesty and love. From infants, to teenagers to seniors, all humans have the right to be treated fairly, kindly, truthfully, patiently, and without any stigma attached to them. If one white female holds up a convenience store, the rest of the white female population should not be treated poorly because of that one female. If a person prefers men over women, regardless of their own gender, they should not be treated any differently than anybody else. If one person believes in one faith and someone else in another, both deserve to be treated equally with dignity.

The only time, personally, I believe people do not deserve respect is when they have hurt somebody purposely, causing harm either physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Most people in this world are decent people and are just like you and me. We live, breathe, love, get angry, have desires, dreams and so on and want only to be treated in the same manner as you would treat your own body. What person really wants to harm their own body, put themselves down, etc.? You won’t find many.

Sometimes respect means being quiet while someone else is talking. Maybe it is allowing somebody else a turn to talk instead of you taking up the whole conversation. It means not thinking that you are more special than others because of where you came from. It is allowing those who are disabled in some way or older than you, the chance to go first or to have that seat. Respect is abiding by the laws of the land or the guidelines of the place you are visiting, be it an organization or another country.

Stop and think of how you would like to be treated by both strangers and friends alike. Most times, that is how the rest of the world wants to be treated too.

R – responsible for your own actions
E – equal rights for all people
S – stop being prejudice
P – polite – remember your manners
E – extending a helping hand to those in need
C – clear your mind of all stereotypes and treat the individual person
T – treat others like you would treat yourself, or better

Responsibility
Equality
Stop prejudice
Politeness
Extend-your-care
Cancel stereotypes
The Golden Rule

“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.” Benjamin Franklin

“I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” Jackie Robinson
“Men are respectable only as they respect” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Treat others as you want them to treat you because what goes around comes around”

These are my parents, the people who brought me into this world and taught me morals, values and RESPECT. Though we may not always agree or get along, I do ALWAYS Respect them. They have been wonderful teachers and their love cannot be compared to any I have seen in any other family I know. Even our friends growing up called them mom and dad because their own parents didn't care where they were or what they did like my parents did. They earned the respect they got and continue to receive. xoxo to my mom and dad. And as my mom taught me, Love is the cement that binds us together.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAMMIEOFTWO 4/7/2011 5:18AM

  I have to say honestly I don't even know how to respond to your blog. It was so uplifting to read.

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