Saturday, November 09, 2013
A lot has happened to me since the last time I posted a blog - which I can't remember the date of.
I've been going through a 'Nervous Breakdown' actually called an "Emotional Breakdown" since November 2011. I had no idea that life's situations could actually 'catch up' on a person and bring them to a Complete Halt in every aspect of life.
I've struggled with a lot of things over the last 2 years: I lost my family doctor, my church, my family (they are still alive), my counselor/therapist and basically anybody who was a 'support' person or who I thought was a good friend to me.
There were times I didn't know if I would make it until the next day. I created my will just to be sure.
Typically from August until April I am sick with Bronchitis/Pneumonia. This is the FIRST year that has not happened. Through many jumping through hoops, I got referred back to the Allergist I had seen back in 2004. Now between that time and this year, my allergies went from your basic pollen, dust, and cigarette smoke, to I am allergic to:
...basically anything that doesn't swim beneath the water.
The asthma I have that was creating ALL of these Bronchitis issues where I had to be on anti-biotics and Prednisone for the duration of the winter months, has turned out to be all allergy induced.
I've been getting an allergy shot since early September and I started to take an inexpensive allergy pill until the one shot I get each month was covered - as it is VERY EXPENSIVE. It is now covered and I have yet to be sick.
I have stopped wheezing, sniffling, coughing and your typical not-well symptoms. This will be the first year in 4 that I will be able to get my FLU shot.
I have also lost a lot of mobility during the last 2 years. Since December 2009, I have used a walker to help me walk because I have chronic back conditions:
6 herniated discs
Degenerative Disc Disease
In my knees I now have Chronic Arthritis, and my feet have Plantar Fasciitus.
I've been walking using the walker frequently, so long as it is not raining out. I can't hold an umbrella and push the walker too :)
Now I have a wheelchair because I am losing the ability to walk. Up until now, the only exercise I have been permitted to do is walk, and I may lose that ability too.
I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know if I can get through all this and SO MUCH more not listed here, I know I will get through whatever may come my way.
Often I don't look at how strong I have been or how strong I have HAD to be to get through all of this ALONE. But by the grace of God I am still here and still moving to some degree, and therefore, there must be a purpose in it. And I will continue to fight the pain and continue to walk so long as my legs will hold me. And when I DO have to go into the wheelchair permanently, I am sure there will be ways for me to get some form of exercise. God is NOT without His plans and He won't let me falter.
I may never be a size 14 again, but I can be big, bold and beautiful, so long as I am eating healthy and doing everything I can physically, emotionally, spiritually etc., to live that healthy lifestyle.
Image is from a Google search.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
A rock pile ceases being a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. - Unknown Author
I had to think about this one for a minute because to be honest, I didn't get it! I do now.
Being a creative person myself, I can look at a blank canvas and see what I want to put there. It's already in my mind and now all I have to do is put the colours on the canvas and add the shape and shading. In other words, my canvas is just a canvas until I see something to put on it.
There are so many hobbies out there today: needlework of all kinds, music, volunteering, computers, games, pets, writing, reading, exercising...the list is truly endless. Everybody should have a hobby or a craft they enjoy. It is both relaxing and time consuming. It's good for the soul and gets creative juices flowing.
If you go to an Art Gallery or a Museum of some kind, you will see many people walking around, smiling and commenting on the pieces they are viewing. The thing is, ten people can view ONE PIECE ten different ways. If people were to view my paintings, crochet creations, and so on, everybody would have a different opinion. Some would like it, some may not. Some would call it one thing while another person may call it something else. It's all about perception.
The same is true of ourselves. How we view ourselves determines how we treat ourselves. Perhaps you bang yourself up emotionally because you are overweight, have brown eyes instead of blue etc. But how do those around you that you know see you? I've been told I'm beautiful by my parents. But to me, my parents are not fair judges becuase they bore and raised me. They are biased. But if somebody else I know tells me that, I may think for a minute that perhaps there is something there.
Not many people enjoy being overweight. Many work at it very hard while others don't work at it and see it as being no good to try because they will fail. The difference here again is perception.
Have you considered WHY you are overweight? Do you have health conditions that Cause weight gain? Do you eat too many servings of food when you eat? Do you eat when you are emotionally upset? Are you on medications that cause weight gain? Is your lifestyle one of inactivity? Evaluate the reasons WHY you are overweight and then decide what you CAN do and what you CAN'T do. For me, I can only do so much becuase I do have medical conditions and medications that CAUSE weight whether I want to or not. I could stop taking the medication, but then I would fall ill and only God knows what the outcome would be. Therefore, I choose to take the medications because I know that despite it causing my weight, I need it to maintain a healthy balance with my medical conditions.
I see a fat backside, others see a beautiful face. Where are you looking? Perhaps, like me, it is time to change your focus and start looking on the inside first and work on the outside to the best of your ability within your limitations. As I was recently told, "work with what you are and not what you think you should be."
Do you see a rock pile or a piece of art?
Even the dirtiest of materials can make a beautiful place of worship where people go to learn about the Creator of all good things. HE is our CORNERSTONE and upon Him if we stand, we will be firm and strong and an able part of the 'church' which is the Body of Christ.
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
Animal crackers, and cocoa to drink. That is the finest of suppers, I think; when I'm grown up and can have what I please I think I shall always insist upon these.
Christopher Morley, author & journalist
I like this quote. I reminds me of Peter Pan and the Lost Boys who never grew up...at least until Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman starred in HOOK. But the point is, Peter and the boys enjoyed having fun. But that is The Wonderful World of Disney right? Cartoons never grow old.
People on the other hand, do grow up. And the more we learn, the more we forget how to play. And the more we forget how to play, the more stern and cross and even unpleasant to be around, we become. If you watch children going to school, you can see the difference. Younger children hop along, skip to school, jump in puddles and so on. Teenagers on the other hand frown, scowl, curse and dread going into class. Post-Secondary students, I personally believe, are transitioning between three stages: childhood...the partying on weekends, teenage life...making new friends and cliques, sticking with fashion, and the adult world...learning to stay up late nights, get up early mornings and try and remember everything from the day before plus the current day's duties.
Then there are us adults. When was the last time you made a snow angle or a snowman in the snow? Or when was the last time you jumped in a warm water puddle after the rain in Summer? Do you remember the last rainbow your heart skipped a beat over? If not, you have grown up TOO much.
Everybody needs to play now and then. I don't mean exercise at the gym or church meetings etc. I am talking about going out and just letting your hair down, so to speak. Go to the park and swing on the swings. What about skipping along in a store? Don't think it is possible for a "sane" person to do it? My dad does it every once and a while. My mom and I disown him for a few minutes, but it always bring a chuckle to everybody around us...who hasn't fully grown up.
Do you sit and watch the old cartoons you used to watch or you used to watch with your kids? I watch Fat Albert every weekday on Retro Teletoon. I love it. I remember some of the cartoons but I remember little of what Bill Cosby says. In my signature line of my regular email is a quote from one of the Cosby Kids songs they sing at the end of many episodes: Dope is for dopes and drugs are for dummies. I RUSH home to watch this every day at 4pm!!!! If I miss it, I stay up until 12:30am and watch it or I watch THE BUGS BUNNY AND TWEETY SHOW!
No, we should not grow up so much that we forget how to laugh, have fun and play. Buy a jump rope and do some double dutch with friends. Buy some sidewalk chalk and play hopscotch or play King's Court. Do something you used to do as a kid and Don't Care About WHO'S WATCHING!!!! You didn't as a kid, so why let it bother you now? Go out, have fun, create a new group of friends doing old time kid fun stuff. Talk like you used to:
Dude, like, I really, like love your like outfit. REMEMBER how much FUN it was to be a kid and BECOME one once and a while. It'll be good for your physical, emotional and spiritual health. So, last one in's a dirty rotten egg!!!
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain, American writer
Although I've never really read any of Mark Twain's books, I LOVE his quotes. He was such a brilliant man. Ahead of his time, really.
He is so right here. When my grandparents were alive, I often heard them say things like:
"I only wish I had....."
"I should have....."
"If I could only take back...."
and so on.
Even my parents talk that way today. They regret selling this house and moving to another place. They regret stopping one job and starting another. They are sorry that they did this with their money instead of that.
There is a song I absolutely love by a now retired Christian Band named Petra. The song is called WOULDA, SHOULDA, COULDA. It goes like this:
PETRA - the band that retired...other members retired before this photo.
Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda Lyrics
Performed by- Petra
Life is filled with many chances
Some you took, and you some you blew
Your path in life can turn ever so quickly
On everthing you say
And change with everything you do
I know that was then
There's nothing I can do about what might have been
Would'a, should'a, could'a done this and that
Don't wanna live life with another regret
Would'a, should'a, could'a made another choice
I can see more the older I get
Would'a, should'a, could'a said something more
But it's too late - there's a knock at the door
Would'a, should'a, could'a won't change a thing
The here and now is waiting
Would'a, should'a, could'a right now
We dig our pit, we make our bed
That's where we fall and where we lay
But we still have a shot to make things better
'Cause it ain't over yet
And we can get it right today
We can make the right choice
You know it's easy when you hear God's voice
I want to live my life not only thinking of the past
The future tells me that my life has not been cast
I want to say I will, I did instead of could or should
Gonna believe in the promise It's all good
I think that says pretty clearly what Mark Twain was saying. Forget about the past, move on with the present and never mind the future. Don't be afraid to take risks and move away from safe shores. If you don't do what you dream of now, when you are older, you will be less able to fill that dream. If you have a dream or dreams, start working on them by planning out the goals that will get you there.
Here on SparkPeople, we are working on some dreams. For some it is weight loss, for others it is proper nutrition, for some it is completely something different. But whatever the reason, you are HERE because you have a dream! You are here, a member of SparkPeople. But are you Working At Your Dream? Are you really putting your best foot forward? Are y ou leaving the safe shores and trying out things that will help you achieve your dream? If we don't get our foot wet, the water will never break. In other words, if you never put your thoughts and dreams into action, you will never see your dream come to life. If you don't lift your foot and move your leg, you will never walk.
And if you make a mistake along the way of achieving your dreams, which you will because you and I are both human, you are more likely to forget the mistake and remember what you didn't try. Don't keep your rope tied tightly to a post on the shore on the dock. Let the rope loose and step into the water to get the boat moving. Only by pushing ahead and DOING will you actually start on the road to achieving your dream(s).
Your boat is waiting for you. What is your next move?
Just open the door and walk on out and sail away on your journey.
Monday, December 03, 2012
If the world seems cold to you, kindle fire to warm it. Lucy Larcom, hymnist
Oh I like this one! It reminds me of sitting around a warm fire at night while camping as a kid. I hated the smoke in my eyes and the ashes, but ooohhh I loved a campfire. The world was cold and bleak until you lit that fire! And the peace that came from staring into the fire. Calms me as I think about it.
Isn't that like life? If it is cold to you, then maybe instead of adding frosting to the ice with bitter words and cold shoulders, we should speak love, which is warm, calming and cozy.
A song I once sang in a Christmas Concert says:
One candle lights one candle, two candles light four, and where they shine there is no darkness anymore.
Darkness is cold. This world is full of darkness with wars, hate crimes, violence in our public schools, prejudice, racism and even people fighting over religions. I can't imagine what the world will be like by the time my nephew and niece are my age.
When it is dark, we either turn on a light or light a candle. If the power goes out, a candle will not only light the way, but it will keep homes and people warm. One candle can light a room for hours.
You, too, are a candle of sorts. The world around you is cold. People are homeless, hurting, in need of friendship, in need of love and warmth. You can either add to the cold already out there or you can light your candle and kindle a fire to warm it and light the way.
You don't even have to be a Christian to do this. I'm talking to all religions or people who are not in religions at all. You can make a huge difference in a person's life by smiling at them, helping someone who seems to have an armful of groceries, give a ride to somebody who needs one to work or church, and so on.
How many blankets do you have in your home NOT IN USE? I got rid of my extra ones and gave them to two people in charge or working with the homeless. Do you craft? Why not put your talents to use and make a blanket for a homeless person, a person who is hurting or an elderly person who minds the cold? Help out the shelters, missions etc., with clothes you have that don't fit or you have not had on in 2years or more. If you are not using there are people who CAN use them and do NEED them.
It doesn't take much to warm one person. And when you kindle the fire with that person, it is like the movie PAY IT FORWARD, that person will likely go and help somebody else in need out. Most people have a good heart.
Good deeds are few and far between nowadays, but YOU can be the person to start a revolution in your city/town. Give a cup of hot coffee to somebody cold, buy a sandwich for a homeless person, smile at people when you walk by instead of looking down at the sidewalk. It doesn't take much to lighten a person's day. And when you lighten the way, you warm the way.
WhiteHeart, a now retired Christian band has two songs that go with this nicely:
Light a Candle lyrics
A flame is rising up in you,
A spark is struck,
For the hand of love has brushed your eyes, and now itís love that shines,
Light a candle.
Thereís a surge of hope within your heart and you want to play a bigger part for you heard the word that Jesus said,
You want to turn the world upon its head,
Now lift your hands up high into the sky and light a candle.
A city of faith can not be hid,
Let the fire burn on the holy wind,
So if you want to change your world and be a living flame, light a candle.
So, on a cold and moonless night, in your window place your candlelight, and let it burn so all can see your holy torch of liberty,
And pray for love, pray for peace,
Pray the world will be released from the fear that locks us in the dark, from the hate that pulls us all apart,
In the ashes there will rise a sacred flame,
Light a candle,
Light it up now.
Youíre back may be against a wall but youíve seen the love that conquers all,
You know that he can change your world, so be a living flame,
Light a candle.
Oh, light a candle,
Oh, light a candle.
You can change your world if you believe,
Do you know you can light up the world?
Light up, light up,
Light up, light up,
Light up, light up,
Light up the world.
Light a candle,
See love shine,
Light a candle,
Light a candle,
All Gods people, all Godís people,
Would you light a candle?
Let it shine,
Oh, let it shine,
Light a candle,
See the face of all the people, see them shine.
and from THE FLAME PASSES ON the chorus says:
From the heart of the people comes love for the people
Love that is burning strong
Oh from one to another
This dream of forever...
The flame passes on
Oh the light of ages illumines the pages
The words of an ancient song
Oh Faith is the fire that burns ever higher
And the flame passes on
Mothers to sons, fathers to daughters - everyone
Pass it on
So what are you going to do? Will you stick with a frozen face and make this world one person colder? Will you hoard what you really do not need instead of giving it to somebody who would use it and could use it? Will you keep your talents to yourself instead of letting the world be blessed by them? It only takes one candle...one person, to start a light burning. And people are drawn to light. It's warm, it's bright, it's love, and it is hope.
How can you share your light with others to light and warm the way?
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