Thursday, February 14, 2008
As stated in my goals, I tend to give up on diets after a bit. I'm sure glad I paid in advance for my trainer. I really love going to work with her. I'd like to be going to the gym every morning before work, but I find that difficult, so I've decided that If I can't make it before work, that's ok as long as I make it on my days off.
I'm at a different point in my diet now mentally. Its more of a habit now to eat healthy, and I'm not as concerned with the speed of the weight coming off as long as it comes off. Don't get me wrong, I would still like to meet my goal of 2lbs a week, but If not, as long as I don't gain, I'm good.
What I have difficulty with now is eating enough. I find that I have a hard time meeting my calorie needs, especially on the days I work. I barely get my water in, let alone actually getting to eat a meal. I sure wish I were able to get on sp to log my meals in more frequently. I find that when I log in after each meal, I can push myself to get the correct calories. When I'm not able to, I worry that I'll go over my calorie allotment, and don't eat enough. Its just a work in progress I guess.
I have had the wonderful ability to talk with some of my friends at work who also happen to be dieticians. I got a thumbs up for my vitamin supplements I'm taking, but was told that my goals may be difficult to meet. I've just got to keep going.
I just find myself frustrated and beginning to get a little depressed with the feeling that I may not meet my goals in the time frame I'd like. I'm having a hard time varying my diet enough to keep my body loosing the weight, and I cant seem to get in the calories even when I'm trying, which I know is going to slow my metabolism.
I know I can't give up, but the frustration is leading to daily headaches, and depression..... just gotta keep going somehow.
Friday, February 08, 2008
I think its totally normal to get frustrated at times. For me, I know it is. I've always been one of those girls who knows what she wants, and knows how to get it. I was the president of multiple clubs in high school, I never had to be on the wait list in any of my classes in college because I had already earned credits before I graduated high school allowing me be get in more easily. I was accepted into nursing school with my first application, and I was the youngest graduate in my Nursing Class. I am stubborn and hard headed, and I know how to get where I want.
I want to be healthy, I want to be thinner. I know how to get there, but to not reach a goal is difficult for me to swallow. My weight loss goal is 2lbs a week. I work out 5-6 days a week, I eat on average 1200 calories a day, and I drink my water. I've been at it for 3 weeks now, and Tuesday on my weigh in I only lost 1lb. Now I've been working my butt off, and I know (because I'm a nurse, and because my trainer tells me) That I will loose slowly because I'm gaining muscle through my pilates as well, but 2lbs is my goal. I didn't make it because I only lost one.
I know that one is still a loss. I've never said that I was going to give up, but some people still take me saying I'm frustrated as giving up. The frustration is how I continue to push myself. I'm determined.
The only good thing, and some may consider this TMI, but I figured out why I only lost one pound. Aunt Flo, TOM, whatever you want to call it, That's my explanation for this week. I forgot that Wednesday would be my start day, and like most women, I get to enjoy the moodiness(just ask my hubby), bloating, and all that other great stuff they talk about in the TV ads.
So here's to another week of shooting for that goal of 2lbs. I work with my trainer tomorrow, and I'm sure she'll kick my butt again.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Today was day 2 of Pilates(on what they call a reformer machine) There are 1-3 of us per session on a given day. Today one of the more advanced (3yrs of pilates) ladies was in the class, and what a refresher. Seeing how strong, and toned she is gave me even more drive. I really like my personal trainer, and have my appointment for my 3rd session (FYI- I paid in advance for 24 sessions to push myself). I am feeling all my muscles, and I love it. I am fairly weak now, but I know I can only go up from here!!! I've been doing the eliptical machine daily, I know I could have done a little more today, but there is always tomorrow. One of my biggest concers was having to leave my daughter at the daycare. Day one, she cried so hard she puked, but today she whined for about 1 minute, then was playing with the other kids. She is enjoying it too, I'm showing her that I'm active, and making positive choices in my life, and I hope she carries that with her forever. So far, since I joined the gym 6 days ago, I've only missed 2 days.... one because I wasn't willing to get out of bed at 3. (I had to be at work at 5:45), and the other because I took it easy, not knowing what pilates had in store for me, and didn't want to wear myself out.
Another perk I wasn't planning on this eairly is the change in the relationship with my husband. Maybe its just my new confidence that I will loose the weight, and become stronger, or maybe its just my attitude, and being less stagnant, but there's something different, and its positive. He's kinda been a skeptic since I jumped back on the band wagon, but now I've noticed him doing his puships, and ab rolls every morning (he just needed the "spark"). But maybe we'll be one of those really good looking families in a couple of months.
All I can say is that even though I get up at 4am on the days I work, and am in the gym everyday, I AM LOVING IT! I sleep better at night, my appetite has decreased, and I've lost 6 lbs in 2 weeks. I'm off to a great start!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
YEAH ME!!! Today marks my one week of SP. I haven't gotten as active as I want to be yet, I'm still waiting on the cardio video's I ordered to get here...I walked Sunday, Babysat Monday, Worked today, so no time yet, but tomorrow, barring further rain, I should be walking. I walk an average of 8,000steps a day at work, so that counts for something. The best part is...... 4 lb weight loss!!! Just by tracking my food, I have learned to happily stay within my calorie limit. My goal is 2 lbs a week, so I'm off to a great start! heres to keeping at it!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Why is it that I always gain lost weight back. I think about all the reasons I've heard other use.... stress, bad childhood, job issues. These don't work for me. I was 160 lbs through high school. Then senior year came so did the pounds. I was up to 180 when I met my husband my first year in college. By the time we married 2 years later, I was 190. I made it into nursing school, and 6 months after graduation when I found out I was pregnant, I also found that I was at my highest weight ever at 222. Thanks to morning sickness and the inate need to eat healthy for someone besides me, I left the hospital at 200 lbs. After breastfeeding for 7 months, I was at 190. That was about 15 months ago. Now I'm at 212.
I had a rough year with my marriage after Hannah was born, but that has resolved. College is over with for now... no more freshman 15. I love what I do. Though it can be stressful, its extremely rewarding. As far as bad childhood... couldn't be further from the truth. I grew up with married parents who always encouraged my sister and I to do what we loved, and still do.
So whats my excues.... lazziness, time? Hopefully in my loosing weight, I'll gain the answer so that all the changes made will be for life, not just a few years.... who knows, maybe I'll suprise myself!!
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