Monday, October 03, 2011
This weekend was chock full of challenges and deterrents. I think I did pretty well though and didn't even use any of my 49 WPPA. That is a first for me.
We went to dinner on Saturday and I did well, even when dessert was ordered. It helped that I can't have flour due to Celiacs! I only had one glass of wine and a salad with EVOO and Balsamic on the side. Later, we went to the movies to see What's Your Number with Anna Ferris (I think). Cute movie, didn't get popcorn or candy! Woo hoo! Then, went to a place called the Skinny Chicken for a drink...well, I can now only have wine or tequila and this place was not a wine type of place. I was contemplating a blended Strawberry Margarita...but thought about the points. Opted for one shot of Patron Silver.
My friends ordered chips, salsa and guacamole...I am uber proud to say that I didn't eat ONE chip at all! But boy did I want one! I knew I wasn't hungry and I thought about the reasons I wanted to lose weight that I had written earlier (see previous post) and it helped me to buckle down and not give in to emotional eating. We went to a club/bar place after that...gosh people are getting younger and younger! LOL! The place was filled with Jersey-like guido guys, fist pumping to uncha uncha music. I guess I am just old, but it was not the highlight of my night. I didn't drink anything there at that bar. We left and went off to find water and donuts for my skinny mini friend cause she was hungry. We found a grocery store and I bought a banana. Can you believe that?! A banana! I was surprised by me! I was actually hungry though.
Yesterday, I went to the County Fair with a couple of friends. I made sure to eat a healthy breakfast and made it very point friendly, only 6 points for a full breakfast. I did eat a Starburst (the pack, not just one), an Icee (only 1/2), BBQ pulled pork with lettuce (no bread or sauce), and a vanilla ice cream bar dipped in chocolate with almonds on the outside. My two friends had the deep fried Oreo's (see pic).
They both later confessed that it wasn't that great and they both had upset stomachs. Go figure. It didn't look appealing though... Anyhow, I did use all my daily points...I had thought.
When I got home, I added everything in my online tracker and I actually had 4 points left over! Wow! The Icee wasn't as bad as I had thought. So, I did have some 95% ff popcorn and a spoonful of Nutella. Not the best dinner, I know, but I need to go to the grocery store. So, I ended up using the remaining points plus for that and some of my activity points...we walked at the fair for 6 hours and trekked about 5 miles, so I ended up with a few activity points+. Woo hoo for activity points+!
I am so surprised how this weekend turned out because it could have been terrible! I am proud of myself and I think something has definitely changed in me. Normally in a week, I have maybe ONE day that is within my dailies...
I can tell...This week is going to be different!
Saturday, October 01, 2011
With every success story in weight loss, one has a turning point. There is usually something that happens, such as a doctor writing the word "obese" on a chart, being made fun of, ending a relationship, etc. I don't feel like that is my story, it is not incident driven for me, but emotionally driven.
Today, while sitting in my meeting, I realized I genuinely DO want to lose weight. I know I want to do it for health reasons, for my family, etc. But, we talked about the path to success. What motivates you to lose? Why are you doing this? And, I went a step further and thought about why I haven't been successful and why my weight has been so stagnant. Well, here are the reasons I want to lose this weight and some are very shallow, I know. Regardless, I think they are all motivating for me.
* I don't want to be the fattest person in the room
* I don't want to be a size 18 ever again, I don't want to be a size 16 (where I am at right now) ever again...I don't want to be 220 every again!
* I want to feel comfortable in my clothes
* I want to be attractive to nice guys, not idiots that treat me like crude
* I want to be successful at weight loss and get to a healthy BMI, I don't want to get on the scale every Saturday morning and see a gain
* I want to put my weight issues behind me because I feel that it is a burden to me in other areas of my life.
* I want to prove to myself that I can do this and I can change my life
* I want to be a role model for others who have tried and tried to lose weight and for whatever reason weren't successful. Helping others is very important to me, but how can I say anything when I am consistently unsuccessful?
Why haven't I been successful?
* I haven't followed the WW plan the way I know I can. I have a lot of room for improvement.
* I am not consistent with my eating or my exercise.
* I know my body. My body requires exercise EVERY day. That is the only way I have been successful in the past.
* I allow myself an inch when I do something good, but actually take a yard instead. I cannot do this, it doesn't give me the results I want.
* My brain, intent and actions are misaligned. I need to have all three things in check to be successful.
* I have to remember that intent is not the same thing as actually doing something. You have to be a do-er!
What can I do TODAY to be on track?
1) Stay within my daily points
2) Drink my water
4) Plan out my dinner/evening since we are going out to eat and to the movies, then drinks after
5) Keep my reasons for losing weight in my purse so that when I am not feeling strong, I can make the best decision in that moment.
My goal for this week is to lose 2 pounds. That is very doable, given my weight.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
EAT LESS, MOVE MORE!
Ha! So...in speaking with a friend last night, I have really been spinning my wheels I have finally realized. I have been trying to figure out this body and things are just not clicking. I am glad I know that I have Celiac's, but the weight should be coming off and its not. So, there is something I am not doing.
Now, I don't have unhealthy food in my house. One, because I know I will eat it and two, if it has wheat in it, it will make me sick. But, I have just been maintaining this weight within a few pounds for the last three months. It is frustrated. I really sat and discussed this with my friend last night and I have been writing in a journal. I am stressed out about my job, not knowing if I am going to make my commissions each month to pay my bills, plus worried that the owner is trying to sell the business and I might end up out on my bum. Each time I have to deal with this stress, I have anxiety, anxiety and worry drive me to food.
Over the last three months it has been pretty intense and that, combined with really poor sleep probably has a little to do with this stagnation. However, I am not going to let this defeat my ability to lose weight. I have been heavy all my life and have been on and off diets for 24 years, I am 33. It's time to get off this roller coaster and just simply learn how to eat properly, not some crazy diet.
So...for the next 94 days (that's how many are left in the year), I am going to follow my WW plan. I will still have to avoid wheat, barley and rye due to my Celiacs, but I am also going to ease up on corn products (I don't need them) and dairy. I will still have my 2 dairy servings, but don't need the extra dairy beyond that, plus it's really hard on my tummy.
So, goals for the next 94 days...
1) Stay within my points for the day
2) Exercise 30 minutes 5-6 times per week, walking preferably
3) 8 glasses of water
4) Do my best each day and recognize emotional vs. physical hunger
5) Make myself important in my own life
Of all the things above, I think #5 is going to be the toughest!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
I have been struggling. I have had better days than bad, done more exercise than I have in a long time and have just been going up and down the same few pounds. I found out in early August that I have Celiacs. I have changed my eating dramatically, but still no weight loss.
I picked up a copy of this month's First Magazine, Doctor Oz was on the cover, and they had featured the Blood Type Diet. I have had a few people tell me about this. Well, I bought the book and based on my Celiac's, as well as my likes and dislikes, I had guessed I was blood type O. I did a blood type test last night and guess what? I am O+. Isn't that strange?! I despise coconut (I know people love it, but I can't stand it) and that is one of the things to avoid.
So...I decided that I am going to follow the WW plan with these food modifications as the Blood Type diet helps with what your body can naturally digest and what foods cause you problems with digestions, low or high acid in the stomach, etc. Today will be my first day and I have to clean out the fridge. I am going to miss cantaloupe and cucumbers, but if this helps me budge my weight, I can do without. On another note, I was traumatized by fish as I was forced to eat it...but, I am going to have to give it a go and see what happens. Maybe my adult taste buds will have a different opinion of seafood.
I missed my last two WW meetings, one due to a family thing and the other due to work on a Saturday, and I missed them tremendously! I am excited to go back on Saturday. I have been weighing myself at home and am within my same weight from two weeks again by 2 ounces. So, not too bad. Let's hope the budges...
Oh...and one last thing. This week, I am going to get rid of my scale at the house and rely solely on the WW scale. I am deathly afraid of this, but feel it might be something I can do to help me succeed!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
My friend has been with me for years. At times, she is very helpful. Other times, she is there purely to block me from what I actually need to do. She is a peculiar friend who can often overstay her welcome. I do get frustrated with her from time to time, but have noticed something lately that I never realized before.
She, Procrastination, has been a really close friend of my other friend Diet. Diet and I go way back! We have been best buds since I was 9 years old. I'm not sure why Diet wanted to befriend a 9-year old, but she did. Because my mom was good friends with Diet, I thought, "Well, this Diet must be something good!" Little did I know that Diet would argue constantly with my other friend Self-Esteem. Self-Esteem fought with Diet a lot and it seemed they could never get on the same page. If Diet had won the last argument, Self-Esteem wouldn't show his face. When Self-Esteem won, Diet was out the door. It's so crazy to me why these two couldn't ever be friends. It was really hard for me since I was the one they had in common.
When Diet decided to creep back in again...Procrastination followed. But, I am now seeing with my clear eyes that Procrastination works in two ways. Yes, you know the typical Procrastination and how she can be. But I also noticed that Procrastination had also been secretly blocking me from other things I want in life. She encouraged me when I said things like, "When I am thin, I will be more successful," "When I am skinny, I will find love," "When I can fit into a size 7, I will become a runner," "When I lose this weight, my life will fall into place." Procrastination is a little devil in disguise. Why haven't I noticed this before? Why didn't Diet tell me? They are in cahoots! I just know it!
So, with Diet at bay, Self-Esteem in the wings and Procrastination in full pursuit, I watched the Biggest Loser last night. Yes, I know the show is unrealistic and it's getting repetitive, yada, yada, yada. I like the show, especially in the beginning because those contestants are where I am right now. Somewhere between Week 1 and Week 3, a lightbulb turns on and they seem to kick Procrastination and Diet out the window, welcoming back Self-Esteem. That is what always intrigues me. How did they "get it" all of the sudden and I have been going at this with Diet and Procrastination for like 24 years! And, still haven't gotten it right? What am I doing wrong? How did they make the break and become bff's with Self-Esteem?!
Ding! Lightbulb! I have friends Procrastination and Diet on my shoulder preaching the "shoulds" and I left my friend Self-Esteem about 5 miles behind me on the side of the road. This is the difference. The contestants left Diet and Procrastination down the road and are jogging along with Self-Esteem. What am I thinking?! I picked the wrong friends!
I need to stop allowing myself to believe that everything will be better in life as a thin person. This is not the truth. What is the truth is I will have my health in check, I will have my Self-Esteem in check and my fear about doing a lot of things I want in life will be a little bit less because I won't have to worry about how my weight factors into it. That's it! I am not going to automatically become independently wealthy, fall in love with the perfect man and travel the world just because I lost 80 pounds. That is just ridiculous....
C'mon Self-Esteem, we are leaving these two nut cakes, Diet and Procrastination, behind!
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