Sunday, February 20, 2011
Last night, I had dinner with four of my friends. It was our little bookclub. I actually told them that I was on Weight Watchers. That was a big step for me! I don't think I told but 2 friends my entire life that I was dieting. It made things so much easier for me and I felt much more satisfied with my choices because I wasn't coming up with some bum reason why I didn't want to eat more.
They just understood. They asked me if I wanted another glass of wine, I thanked them and said "no. I have had enough points in wine tonight, but thanks!" I got a little laugh from them, but they accepted it and didn't push back. It was so nice to have that and so nice to have the understanding.
I don't know why I didn't do this earlier, my friends are great and super supportive! I think this will help me on my journey.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
This morning, I got up early before my WW meeting. I wasn't going to weight in because I knew I was going to gain about a pound. But, we weight what we weight, whether or not it's documented. So, I got dressed and went to the gym at my apartment complex. I told myself, I won't kill myself, let's just do 20 minutes. That's all I had time for before my WW meeting anyways.
I did it and realized, "Wow...I'm really out of shape." I did 20 minutes and only covered 1.18 miles. The year before last, I had gotten to a 5k in 39 minutes. This was a huge shocker because I think I have been confusing intent to exercise with actual exercise. Intention are great, but they mean nothing when there is no action behind it.
Today, I know I have gained weight, but I have lost my physically ability and endurance over the last year. It's time to get it back!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I had a rough session with my therapist tonight. It was progress, but for me, emotional progress is really hard for me to deal with. I thought I was okay, but in about 40 minutes, I had about just under 1000 calories. Not good.
Getting this mental part of emotional eating is so hard! This morning, I thought I had a grip on it, but a huge emotional swing got the better of me. I have no excuses. All I can do is accept this as a learning experience and try to move on. Tomorrow is another chance for me to get it right. I don't want to be unhappy anymore...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
So, I already knew this. But, last night I felt like I was actually watching myself do this because I was so aware of what I was doing. I was stressed about something from work and realized my teeth were clenched. I had eaten dinner, I wasn't hungry. But, I "allowed" myself to eat 3 granola bars. Now, I know this may seem like, well you just slipped off the handle. But, nope. I am already in the hole with my WPA, so I didn't have them to use. And, unless I take 4 kickboxing classes before Saturday morning, I am not going to get out of that hole.
This week, I have been extremely diligent about my tracker. I am -39 WPA right now. I also have been tracking in Sparkpeople to see how many calories I have been taking in on an average day because I have been gaining steadily since October....12 pounds to be exact. I have been averaging 2,100 calories a day. That is not healthy eating, nor is it the right amount of calories I should be eating in a day to be losing weight.
So...what did I learn?
1) Too many points, too many calories
2) No exercise, no consistency when I do exercise
3) Eating propelled by emotions, but now fully aware when I do it
So, what am I going to do?
1) Today is a new start and I am going to follow the WW plan, not the Kristi plan
2) I will get 20 minutes of exercise in a day...I don't have to spend hours at the gym like my "diet" brain thinks
3) I will track, track, track
4) When I am feeling stressed, I will stop and write in my journal or this blog. Even if I have to physically write, "I am stressed" over and over. It will give me a chance to think before reverting back to my habit of eating to feel better.
5) I will remember each day that I am important and I matter. I will not toss my feelings aside and ignore as I was raised to do as a child. I am an adult and I need to start taking care of myself, both physically and emotionally.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I was doing okay, until I had to travel for work. So, today starts a new day. I am going to ditch the WW points for one week. I will focus on my calories for the next week and see what that does for my weight loss. I am also going to get at least 6 hours of sleep a night and keep that stress level to a minimum.
Here's to a new day!
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