Wednesday, February 16, 2011
So, I already knew this. But, last night I felt like I was actually watching myself do this because I was so aware of what I was doing. I was stressed about something from work and realized my teeth were clenched. I had eaten dinner, I wasn't hungry. But, I "allowed" myself to eat 3 granola bars. Now, I know this may seem like, well you just slipped off the handle. But, nope. I am already in the hole with my WPA, so I didn't have them to use. And, unless I take 4 kickboxing classes before Saturday morning, I am not going to get out of that hole.
This week, I have been extremely diligent about my tracker. I am -39 WPA right now. I also have been tracking in Sparkpeople to see how many calories I have been taking in on an average day because I have been gaining steadily since October....12 pounds to be exact. I have been averaging 2,100 calories a day. That is not healthy eating, nor is it the right amount of calories I should be eating in a day to be losing weight.
So...what did I learn?
1) Too many points, too many calories
2) No exercise, no consistency when I do exercise
3) Eating propelled by emotions, but now fully aware when I do it
So, what am I going to do?
1) Today is a new start and I am going to follow the WW plan, not the Kristi plan
2) I will get 20 minutes of exercise in a day...I don't have to spend hours at the gym like my "diet" brain thinks
3) I will track, track, track
4) When I am feeling stressed, I will stop and write in my journal or this blog. Even if I have to physically write, "I am stressed" over and over. It will give me a chance to think before reverting back to my habit of eating to feel better.
5) I will remember each day that I am important and I matter. I will not toss my feelings aside and ignore as I was raised to do as a child. I am an adult and I need to start taking care of myself, both physically and emotionally.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I was doing okay, until I had to travel for work. So, today starts a new day. I am going to ditch the WW points for one week. I will focus on my calories for the next week and see what that does for my weight loss. I am also going to get at least 6 hours of sleep a night and keep that stress level to a minimum.
Here's to a new day!
Monday, April 19, 2010
I have been doing Bootcamp for the last 6 weeks. It has been great, but it is only 3 days per week. This week, I am going to add gym days on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Now, I am not really adding this for weight loss. It is more so that I have a routine and can get more sleep each night. My body is dying here!
The other thing that is a little different is that I have been doing WW for a while now. I think I am going to try this week to track my points and my calories and see what the end result is. I am not sure how many calories I am getting in each day and it may be too many most days, but I think there are days that I am not getting enough in either.
This is such a tough thing to conquer. For me, it's a challenge because everything in my life is interconnected. It's not like I can just focus on one thing, because that one thing affects like 3 other things.
Maybe some of you can relate!
We will see how this week goes.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Yesterday was great! Then, I came back from my therapy session and ended up binging. I don't know what was happening, but I did have a rough session. I'm thinking that maybe all of the emotion was a bit much and I turned to food to console myself. A better choice would have been to go to the gym or take a walk. I know that, but didn't do it. In the moment I knew it was not a good decision, I tried to stop myself three times, but gave myself permission to return to bad habits. This is a learning experience and today is another chance to make a better choice when that feeling comes up again.
So far today, I have done well. Although, I did eat some cookie dough (2 servings) but tracked it into my day. Eventually, I would like to get through the day without sweets and it will happen, but will take time. I need to pay attention to what is going on emotionally, so I can change those physical habits that have contributed to my weight. It is so hard and tiring and draining! I feel like I am displaced in my own body and each day is a struggle. It will get easier, I know. I just have to work through this right now. It feels like I am walking through knee deep mud. I am not used to emotions, pretty much at all. That is sad to say about myself, but I am trying to change.
I think that if I start to wander into the kitchen tonight (yes, it's mostly at night), then I will do one of three things:
2) Blog/Boards at Sparkpeople
3) If all else fails, take a shower because food never goes into the bathroom!
I wish this were easier and I wish I didn't have so much of my self worth tied into my weight. It is more exhausting than any exercise I have ever done!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
So far, breakfast was a success. I leave for Europe in 44 days! I would love to go and be about 20 pounds lighter. I am not sure how doable that is, but I can try! I just need to remember to work out each day for at least 30 minutes and do make sure I stay under 1500 calories. Sounds simple, but there are challenges around me all the time. I need to make sure that I am making the best choice for me. What is going to make me successful? What is going to make me happy?
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