Saturday, February 19, 2011
This morning, I got up early before my WW meeting. I wasn't going to weight in because I knew I was going to gain about a pound. But, we weight what we weight, whether or not it's documented. So, I got dressed and went to the gym at my apartment complex. I told myself, I won't kill myself, let's just do 20 minutes. That's all I had time for before my WW meeting anyways.
I did it and realized, "Wow...I'm really out of shape." I did 20 minutes and only covered 1.18 miles. The year before last, I had gotten to a 5k in 39 minutes. This was a huge shocker because I think I have been confusing intent to exercise with actual exercise. Intention are great, but they mean nothing when there is no action behind it.
Today, I know I have gained weight, but I have lost my physically ability and endurance over the last year. It's time to get it back!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I had a rough session with my therapist tonight. It was progress, but for me, emotional progress is really hard for me to deal with. I thought I was okay, but in about 40 minutes, I had about just under 1000 calories. Not good.
Getting this mental part of emotional eating is so hard! This morning, I thought I had a grip on it, but a huge emotional swing got the better of me. I have no excuses. All I can do is accept this as a learning experience and try to move on. Tomorrow is another chance for me to get it right. I don't want to be unhappy anymore...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
So, I already knew this. But, last night I felt like I was actually watching myself do this because I was so aware of what I was doing. I was stressed about something from work and realized my teeth were clenched. I had eaten dinner, I wasn't hungry. But, I "allowed" myself to eat 3 granola bars. Now, I know this may seem like, well you just slipped off the handle. But, nope. I am already in the hole with my WPA, so I didn't have them to use. And, unless I take 4 kickboxing classes before Saturday morning, I am not going to get out of that hole.
This week, I have been extremely diligent about my tracker. I am -39 WPA right now. I also have been tracking in Sparkpeople to see how many calories I have been taking in on an average day because I have been gaining steadily since October....12 pounds to be exact. I have been averaging 2,100 calories a day. That is not healthy eating, nor is it the right amount of calories I should be eating in a day to be losing weight.
So...what did I learn?
1) Too many points, too many calories
2) No exercise, no consistency when I do exercise
3) Eating propelled by emotions, but now fully aware when I do it
So, what am I going to do?
1) Today is a new start and I am going to follow the WW plan, not the Kristi plan
2) I will get 20 minutes of exercise in a day...I don't have to spend hours at the gym like my "diet" brain thinks
3) I will track, track, track
4) When I am feeling stressed, I will stop and write in my journal or this blog. Even if I have to physically write, "I am stressed" over and over. It will give me a chance to think before reverting back to my habit of eating to feel better.
5) I will remember each day that I am important and I matter. I will not toss my feelings aside and ignore as I was raised to do as a child. I am an adult and I need to start taking care of myself, both physically and emotionally.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I was doing okay, until I had to travel for work. So, today starts a new day. I am going to ditch the WW points for one week. I will focus on my calories for the next week and see what that does for my weight loss. I am also going to get at least 6 hours of sleep a night and keep that stress level to a minimum.
Here's to a new day!
Monday, April 19, 2010
I have been doing Bootcamp for the last 6 weeks. It has been great, but it is only 3 days per week. This week, I am going to add gym days on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Now, I am not really adding this for weight loss. It is more so that I have a routine and can get more sleep each night. My body is dying here!
The other thing that is a little different is that I have been doing WW for a while now. I think I am going to try this week to track my points and my calories and see what the end result is. I am not sure how many calories I am getting in each day and it may be too many most days, but I think there are days that I am not getting enough in either.
This is such a tough thing to conquer. For me, it's a challenge because everything in my life is interconnected. It's not like I can just focus on one thing, because that one thing affects like 3 other things.
Maybe some of you can relate!
We will see how this week goes.
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