SHELLE13   36,495
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Trying a little something new...

Monday, April 19, 2010

I have been doing Bootcamp for the last 6 weeks. It has been great, but it is only 3 days per week. This week, I am going to add gym days on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Now, I am not really adding this for weight loss. It is more so that I have a routine and can get more sleep each night. My body is dying here!

The other thing that is a little different is that I have been doing WW for a while now. I think I am going to try this week to track my points and my calories and see what the end result is. I am not sure how many calories I am getting in each day and it may be too many most days, but I think there are days that I am not getting enough in either.

This is such a tough thing to conquer. For me, it's a challenge because everything in my life is interconnected. It's not like I can just focus on one thing, because that one thing affects like 3 other things.

Maybe some of you can relate!

We will see how this week goes.


Day 2...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Yesterday was great! Then, I came back from my therapy session and ended up binging. I don't know what was happening, but I did have a rough session. I'm thinking that maybe all of the emotion was a bit much and I turned to food to console myself. A better choice would have been to go to the gym or take a walk. I know that, but didn't do it. In the moment I knew it was not a good decision, I tried to stop myself three times, but gave myself permission to return to bad habits. This is a learning experience and today is another chance to make a better choice when that feeling comes up again.

So far today, I have done well. Although, I did eat some cookie dough (2 servings) but tracked it into my day. Eventually, I would like to get through the day without sweets and it will happen, but will take time. I need to pay attention to what is going on emotionally, so I can change those physical habits that have contributed to my weight. It is so hard and tiring and draining! I feel like I am displaced in my own body and each day is a struggle. It will get easier, I know. I just have to work through this right now. It feels like I am walking through knee deep mud. I am not used to emotions, pretty much at all. That is sad to say about myself, but I am trying to change.

I think that if I start to wander into the kitchen tonight (yes, it's mostly at night), then I will do one of three things:

1) Gym
2) Blog/Boards at Sparkpeople
3) If all else fails, take a shower because food never goes into the bathroom!

I wish this were easier and I wish I didn't have so much of my self worth tied into my weight. It is more exhausting than any exercise I have ever done!


Starting Over - Day 1

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

So far, breakfast was a success. I leave for Europe in 44 days! I would love to go and be about 20 pounds lighter. I am not sure how doable that is, but I can try! I just need to remember to work out each day for at least 30 minutes and do make sure I stay under 1500 calories. Sounds simple, but there are challenges around me all the time. I need to make sure that I am making the best choice for me. What is going to make me successful? What is going to make me happy?


Today is a new day...

Friday, November 06, 2009

Yesterday, I was doing so well and I was within my calorie range. I wanted to eat something and I knew I wasn't hungry. I avoided it for about an hour...then I ate like a whole bag of Pirate Booty. Yes, caloric air! I was disappointed and was thinking about why I did this. Was it procrastination, boredom....what was it? I did eat it while in front of the TV which is bad. Mindless eating is not a good thing.

I was thinking about someone I know that has really bad teeth this morning. Then came to the conclusion that this person doesn't really take care of themselves. A light bulb went on in my head! When healthy people meet me, they probably think the same thing! So, is being overweight because you're not taking care of yourself similar to having bad teeth because you're not taking care of your teeth? I think there is a parallel here. Both results are visual that other people can see and both can be prevented. Also, both can have potential genetic or medical reasons for a portion of the problem, but prevention and good health will make the result less prominent. When I thought about this, I was just shocked at myself. What have I been doing to me all of these years? Why did I think it would be okay? Was it okay because I don't care or value myself? Why didn't I realize this before?

This morning, after having this epiphany, I decided I am not going to treat myself poorly anymore. I am going to take care of myself and do the things I need to do to make myself a better, more healthy person. That includes putting good food into my body and exercises my body to keep things running at their best.

If I have issues tonight, I will turn to alternatives such as blogging, reading, walking, cleaning, laundry, anything but the TV. That seems to trigger old behaviors. In fact, I think I should limit my TV time each week. There are only a few shows that I like to watch anyhow.

Considering limiting TV time to:
Monday - None
Tuesday - Biggest Loser (1 hour)
Wednesday - Top Chef (1 hour)
Thursday - None
Friday - Diet Tribe (1 hour) & Ghost Whisperer (1 hour)
Saturday - None
Sunday - Watch my Netflix movies (2) for the week (3-4 hours)

Total TV Time: 7-8 hours per week

P.S. I bet you I will have new found time on my hands to do other things!


Wow...what have I been doing?!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Looking back over the past year, I have not really dropped any weight. Although, I feel I have been on a diet like never before. What gives? I decided to keep my WW account and weigh in each week. However, I am going to stick to my Sparkpeople calories and stay below the recommended 1560 each day. I am also going to get 30 minutes of exercise each day, no matter what.

Why I have to state this over and over is irritating. I know I am saying it so I will believe it. I am not taking care of myself because I don't feel I am worth it. It is this stupid cycle I have myself in and I need to get out of it. As I would tell anyone of my friends, you are beautiful, you deserve every happiness and you will figure a way to make it all happen. Now if I could only follow my own advice! Easier said than done, but I will take it one day at a time. One moment at a time!


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