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Today will be better...

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Yesterday, I did good until the evening. Instead of snacking, I should have just done my homework and it would have been a win-win. Instead, I turned on the TV. That is the kiss of death for me. I knew that, but last night I (for whatever reason), just did it. I wasn't thinking and I think I was just falling into old habits. I did go to the gym though and took a class that just kicked my butt! It was awesome, I couldn't even catch my breath. I love dance classes! So, there was a victory yesterday for going to the gym and eating a healthy lunch out. My improvement was to keep my snacking at night to a minimun. If I don't have the calories left, I don't have the option to snack. I need to remember that tonight.

Also, I think my body is trying to fight off a cold. I am so tired and I feel like I can sleep for days. I need to pay attention to my body. Today's goal: Stay under 1550 calories and go to the gym. Turbo Kickboxing tonight! Woohoo!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOCACHOC 6/9/2009 1:54PM

    Never be defeated by whatever it is that wants to wishes to block you from your goal. Go after it like never before.

When I worked out when I was fighting off a bug, I worked through it all but one day; my body just would not let me no matter what I said or did; so I listened and went home and slept. But the next day I was not about to give into it.

Do what you can and mostly do what you must for you.

Peace and Love

emoticon

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It's A New Day...

Sunday, June 07, 2009

I have been on and off WW for 22 years now. More of my life has been dieting, dieting, dieting and being totally aware of what I was doing and then chucking it out the window. Apparently, that is not working for me. I have lost the most weight by doing it on my own, yet I feel some type of need to have WW in my life. Maybe it is my security blanket that I need to learn not to have anymore.

I am going to do a little assessment on myself this week. I am going to do Spark 100% this week. Keep my calories below 1550, exercise at least 30 minutes a day and get my water in. At the end of the week, I will weigh myself and if I have lost weight, I will make the decision to get rid of my security blanket. I have not attended meetings in 3 weeks anyhow. Also, that $39.95 I am paying each month can go to my non-food rewards for doing a good job! Plus, I am going to Europe in December, so that will be a found $280! That is what would have gone to WW meetings each month, until December 2009 . Wow! That is a lot when you add it up...It is $479.40 a year to do WW. How come I have never looked at it that way before?!

Anyways...I read something interesting in the paper today. IMHO, our President has a million and one things to do and worry about each day. However, he exercises 45 minutes, 6 days a week! I have a lot less on my plate than he does, so I have no excuse as to why I can't get my behind out there for 45 minutes at least 5-6 times a week. No reason whatsoever!

I guess it really goes back to "You can't take care of others unless you take care of yourself first". I know this, but somehow it doesn't translate into action. Maybe I need to teach myself this principle through practice.

I will continue with the blog throughout the week and will promise (to myself) that I will blog when I want to turn to food. I need to teach myself that food is not a replacement in avoiding emotions. Baby steps, baby steps...

  


It's amazing how friends can be so...

Sunday, May 31, 2009

helpful! My best friend and I talked....a lot over the last two weeks. I have realized that I literally feed my feelings instead of allowing myself to feel them. It seems so stupid. But, this week, I stopped my diets and took a look at what I was doing. It was like a self evaluation. It was amazing. If I was angry, mad, frustrated, procrasting, overwhelmed or didn't know what to do with myself, I went to the fridge. Now, I know this is not healthy behavior. But it is the first time that I actually realized it. What made it more real was that I voiced this to my best friend who has known me for years. By telling her, I think that I felt this feeling was real. It was all very strange and felt very foreign to me. I think I cried a bunch this week and I am not normally a crier. Actually, only at really sad movies do I usually cry. All I can say is that having realized this and recognized the patterned behavior, I have the ability to change it. It is going to be tough, but I will take it one step at a time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAIRBRAH 6/2/2009 10:04AM

    Wow, what progress! I mean, this is a big step! Good for you, choosing the hard road and making a change. Now, you're on the road to taking care of yourself in an all around healthy way. emoticon

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Yesterday was a success!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

So I did it! I had a really good day yesterday. I had 1536 calories, excercised for a half hour and didn't graze last night. I didn't get all my water in though, which is why I woke up this morning feeling puffy. But, I did go and buy a Brita water pitcher yesterday and will get my water in today.

Okay, so I am feeling a little better about this. Today will be more of a challenge because I will be away from home all day today until about 7:30p tonight. I am going to make my lunch and take it with me. I will eat it in the car between appointments (I am an outside sales rep) and tonight...Well, I think I will make it a Subway night and get the Chicken Breast Salad. So, by the time I get home tonight, I will be done with my eating. I have so much homework to do to, its crazy!

Day 2...going to make it great!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAIRBRAH 5/8/2009 4:49PM

    Yay!!! :) That does sound like a really successful day. And good for you, packing your lunch! How did your long "out 'til 7:30 pm" day go?

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What the heck am I doing?!

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

So yesterday, I had a great day planned out, nutritionally. I did well all day, was a little hungry in the afternoon, but kept to it. Then, after my dinner, I kept hearing that little voice in my head to eat something else. Of course, I struggled with it for about 30 minutes. I gave in and had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with nonfat milk. Then, I had a second bowl. I stopped myself after that and said, what the heck am I doing? I had a great day, but it felt like I was purposely sabotaging myself. I didn't understand why. I would have had a great day if I didn't eat that cereal. Maybe, I need to stop thinking pass/fail when it comes to my nutrition.

Today, I decided to stick with my plan. If I get to the point tonight (because it is always at night that I over indulge), I am going to write it down in a journal. What do I want? Why do I want it? Is there something else that I am trying to compensate for? Maybe this will help me discover what the heck I am doing to myself.

Watching Biggest Loser last night, I could identify with the mental struggles that each person has had to face. I am Tara, fighting with the Pita Chips, and Helen, so tired, so stressed and feeling lost and fearful and I am Mike, struggling with the workouts, what to do, etc. I know that balance is a part of it, but I have been out of balance because once I have something (it could be the simplest thing) not be right, then I kind of throw in the towel that day and start new the next day. This is causing me to go up and down the same 7 pounds over the last 6 month. If I do something that is not entirely healthy for me, I need to get back on track that very minute. I think that may make a difference for me.

Today will be a better day. I will try to blog tomorrow...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAIRBRAH 5/8/2009 4:20PM

    Unfortunately, I haven't seen that dearly viewed show in a year, due to my move and not having tv. I am going to see what old episodes I can view online. It's so inspirational. Anyway...
Good for you for examining why you do things the way you do. It can be scary and vulnerable, but being honest with yourself- and forgiving- will help you to not go to an extreme one way or another. I've been hearing a lot lately how we actually sabotage ourselves by being too strict. I'm definitely trying to work this one out, myself.
One thing that I've found helps me not to binge or go mentally crazy with cravings is to give myself occasional allowances of things I love (like ice cream). I just determine that I will only eat one scoop. It doesn't seem like just one scoop the way it used to though. Instead, I think I'm starting to feel... less deprived.
Way to be determined! I know you can do this. Keep journaling. It seems to be really good for you. :)

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LHEMPEN 5/7/2009 9:18AM

    The fact that you are writing about this is half the battle..being aware is a big part of the process.
Make sure that you are getting enough protein not only in the morning but through the day. Instead of the cereal try eating some lean turkey or chicken to munch on and throw in some veggies, I would almost wager that you will not want a second bowl..and keep in mind..your choice of a 2nd of anything could hae been far worse then cheerios..so hats off to you for that!
Also make sure you get your water in...I try drinking a full glass whenever I "feel" like I need something else..usually helps, or I side myself with a walk, laundry, sweeping the floor, gum..I tend to often have a short attention span, so keeping myself busy helps a lot!

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LHEMPEN 5/7/2009 9:17AM

    The fact that you are writing about this is half the battle..being aware is a big part of the process.
Make sure that you are getting enough protein not only in the morning but through the day. Instead of the cereal try eating some lean turkey or chicken to munch on and throw in some veggies, I would almost wager that you will not want a second bowl..and keep in mind..your choice of a 2nd of anything could hae been far worse then cheerios..so hats off to you for that!
Also make sure you get your water in...I try drinking a full glass whenever I "feel" like I need something else..usually helps, or I side myself with a walk, laundry, sweeping the floor, gum..I tend to often have a short attention span, so keeping myself busy helps a lot!

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LGLANDT 5/6/2009 2:44PM

    I was definitely feeling Tara and the pita chips!

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