Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Yesterday, I did good until the evening. Instead of snacking, I should have just done my homework and it would have been a win-win. Instead, I turned on the TV. That is the kiss of death for me. I knew that, but last night I (for whatever reason), just did it. I wasn't thinking and I think I was just falling into old habits. I did go to the gym though and took a class that just kicked my butt! It was awesome, I couldn't even catch my breath. I love dance classes! So, there was a victory yesterday for going to the gym and eating a healthy lunch out. My improvement was to keep my snacking at night to a minimun. If I don't have the calories left, I don't have the option to snack. I need to remember that tonight.
Also, I think my body is trying to fight off a cold. I am so tired and I feel like I can sleep for days. I need to pay attention to my body. Today's goal: Stay under 1550 calories and go to the gym. Turbo Kickboxing tonight! Woohoo!
Sunday, June 07, 2009
I have been on and off WW for 22 years now. More of my life has been dieting, dieting, dieting and being totally aware of what I was doing and then chucking it out the window. Apparently, that is not working for me. I have lost the most weight by doing it on my own, yet I feel some type of need to have WW in my life. Maybe it is my security blanket that I need to learn not to have anymore.
I am going to do a little assessment on myself this week. I am going to do Spark 100% this week. Keep my calories below 1550, exercise at least 30 minutes a day and get my water in. At the end of the week, I will weigh myself and if I have lost weight, I will make the decision to get rid of my security blanket. I have not attended meetings in 3 weeks anyhow. Also, that $39.95 I am paying each month can go to my non-food rewards for doing a good job! Plus, I am going to Europe in December, so that will be a found $280! That is what would have gone to WW meetings each month, until December 2009 . Wow! That is a lot when you add it up...It is $479.40 a year to do WW. How come I have never looked at it that way before?!
Anyways...I read something interesting in the paper today. IMHO, our President has a million and one things to do and worry about each day. However, he exercises 45 minutes, 6 days a week! I have a lot less on my plate than he does, so I have no excuse as to why I can't get my behind out there for 45 minutes at least 5-6 times a week. No reason whatsoever!
I guess it really goes back to "You can't take care of others unless you take care of yourself first". I know this, but somehow it doesn't translate into action. Maybe I need to teach myself this principle through practice.
I will continue with the blog throughout the week and will promise (to myself) that I will blog when I want to turn to food. I need to teach myself that food is not a replacement in avoiding emotions. Baby steps, baby steps...
Sunday, May 31, 2009
helpful! My best friend and I talked....a lot over the last two weeks. I have realized that I literally feed my feelings instead of allowing myself to feel them. It seems so stupid. But, this week, I stopped my diets and took a look at what I was doing. It was like a self evaluation. It was amazing. If I was angry, mad, frustrated, procrasting, overwhelmed or didn't know what to do with myself, I went to the fridge. Now, I know this is not healthy behavior. But it is the first time that I actually realized it. What made it more real was that I voiced this to my best friend who has known me for years. By telling her, I think that I felt this feeling was real. It was all very strange and felt very foreign to me. I think I cried a bunch this week and I am not normally a crier. Actually, only at really sad movies do I usually cry. All I can say is that having realized this and recognized the patterned behavior, I have the ability to change it. It is going to be tough, but I will take it one step at a time.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
So I did it! I had a really good day yesterday. I had 1536 calories, excercised for a half hour and didn't graze last night. I didn't get all my water in though, which is why I woke up this morning feeling puffy. But, I did go and buy a Brita water pitcher yesterday and will get my water in today.
Okay, so I am feeling a little better about this. Today will be more of a challenge because I will be away from home all day today until about 7:30p tonight. I am going to make my lunch and take it with me. I will eat it in the car between appointments (I am an outside sales rep) and tonight...Well, I think I will make it a Subway night and get the Chicken Breast Salad. So, by the time I get home tonight, I will be done with my eating. I have so much homework to do to, its crazy!
Day 2...going to make it great!
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
So yesterday, I had a great day planned out, nutritionally. I did well all day, was a little hungry in the afternoon, but kept to it. Then, after my dinner, I kept hearing that little voice in my head to eat something else. Of course, I struggled with it for about 30 minutes. I gave in and had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with nonfat milk. Then, I had a second bowl. I stopped myself after that and said, what the heck am I doing? I had a great day, but it felt like I was purposely sabotaging myself. I didn't understand why. I would have had a great day if I didn't eat that cereal. Maybe, I need to stop thinking pass/fail when it comes to my nutrition.
Today, I decided to stick with my plan. If I get to the point tonight (because it is always at night that I over indulge), I am going to write it down in a journal. What do I want? Why do I want it? Is there something else that I am trying to compensate for? Maybe this will help me discover what the heck I am doing to myself.
Watching Biggest Loser last night, I could identify with the mental struggles that each person has had to face. I am Tara, fighting with the Pita Chips, and Helen, so tired, so stressed and feeling lost and fearful and I am Mike, struggling with the workouts, what to do, etc. I know that balance is a part of it, but I have been out of balance because once I have something (it could be the simplest thing) not be right, then I kind of throw in the towel that day and start new the next day. This is causing me to go up and down the same 7 pounds over the last 6 month. If I do something that is not entirely healthy for me, I need to get back on track that very minute. I think that may make a difference for me.
Today will be a better day. I will try to blog tomorrow...
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