Wednesday, February 11, 2009
So I just came back from a business trip and I was kinda stoked because I hadn't seen everyone in a year and I thought my body had changed a bit. Unfortunately, it is not the case. I have seen some of the pics that came back and oh my gosh! I look huge! Feeling a little down and resorted to old eating habits because of it. Yes, I admit...I ate frosting. I know! So bad! But, I just calculated my calories for the day with my mishap and I am at 1800. Not totally terrible, but not great. I am just going to have to rededicate myself to this proces to get the results I want. Worse yet, there was this guy there that I am somewhat attracted to. I saw a pic with him and I. He has his arms around me and I look so very large! What a bummer. I know I made progress, but it just sucks to see this staring back at you in photes. It kinda kills the little bit of self-confidence I had kinda built up.
I am not eating anything else for the rest of the night. I will have 3 more glasses of water before I go to bed. I think I will take a bath and read to keep myself from grazing in the kitchen. In fact, I am going to finish cleaning up the kitchen, start the dish washer and refill my water bottle.
I need to just stop the feelings bad for myself right now. I know I have accomplished something, I just need to remind myself to continue. If I stop, I will not get where I want to go.
Thanks for the vent! Weight loss is a difficult journey...before this year, I don't think I truly understood what a mental and emotional journey it really is. I totally get it now!
Monday, February 02, 2009
I just have to share! My goal last year was to complete 12 5K's. I did it and went from over 1 hour to about 40 minutes. I could not break that 40 minute point though. Yesterday I completed my first 5k of 2009 and on the clock I was at 40:36. I was a little disappointed, but then realized that I did not cross the start line for almost a minute or so because there were so many people. We had a chip on our show to monitor our time from the point we cross the start line to the point we cross the finish line. Our results were just posted. Guess what? I came in at 39:25!!! I am so excited and proud of myself. Also, this course was MAJOR hills! It was a tough one and I still made it!
This is very encouraging because I was feeling pretty bad this morning. I have been eating fairly well, much more to plan than last year AND I have been exercising. I got on the scale this morning and had gained 5 lbs from Friday!!! I don't understand this. All I know is that I have been exercising a lot, I am so sore it hurts to sit on the toilet and I didn't drink much water yesterday, but drank 3 glasses of water and a cup of coffee before I put myself on the scale this morning. On top of all that, I am supposed to start my TOM within the next day or so. I am hoping that it is all just water retention and the female body's craziness. But, the 39:25 made me feel much better!
Thanks for letting me share!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Today I went to Bootcamp AND I was on time! I missed on Monday because I overslept. I must have woken up to turn the alarm off because I woke up with my Blackberry in my bed (that's my alarm). I set two alarms yesterday and today.
Yesterday, I exercised at each commercial of Biggest Loser. It totalled to 34 minutes since the show was 2 hours. It was pretty good too because by the time finished, I could feel my leg muscles tensing up, similar to when I jog or go to Bootcamp. Wow, that show last night was eye opening! I can't believe that there are so many young contestants at such a high weight. It is a little disheartening to know that our country is not taking care of itself. Very surprising since we now have the knowledge we have about health and most of these kids were born in the late 80's, early 90's. The great thing is that they are doing something about it! That is wonderful! I almost cried when the guy from the white team went down. You could see the horror on his wife's face, she was terrified. It was so sad and I think a huge reminder to the other contestants of how important health is and how much danger they have put their health at.
Now, I'm not saying I am any better than them. I have the same exact problem and have had it for years. It is on a smaller scale, but nonetheless, I am in the same boat. This is it for me! It ends here. My life is worth more than cookies, cake and fast food. I know this and soon it will show on the outside through weightloss.
Good luck everyone and have a great week!
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Yeah! I lost 1.8! I am safely below the 200 mark again! Woohoo! I am gunning for 194.8 or lower...that will mark my 30 lb weight loss point. I have been hovering over it for about 3 months. I got down to 195 and didn't budge myself below it. I think I self sabootaged though...I tend to do that when I am afraid of my weight loss. I know it sounds silly, but I have always been a heavy girl and I am not sure what it is going to feel like to be at a healthy weight. Anything below 170 is going to feel "skinny" to me. I just hope that when the times comes, my common sense kicks in and the fear is overcome. I will continue to blog though because it is a very inexpensive form of therapy. Heaven knows I need a little!
Hope your Day 3 is going well!
Thursday, January 01, 2009
I am within my points today. I have been in the house most of the day and watch almost the full season of Biggest Loser Season 3 on Bravo! Inspiring, but at the same time a bit disappointing because Erik is the winner that apparently gained back all of his weight. Scary to go through such a transformation and then let it get back to where it was. Whoa!
So I just changed my New Years Resolution for this year. It is going to be to treat myself better and to take care of myself. I am also going to try to do twelve 5k's like I did last year. That has been a really interesting thing for me to do. Also, my mom goes with me so it's something fun that we can do together instead of eating.
I am procrastinating doing my Tae Bo video right now. I am cold and don't feel like doing much. But, I am going to go and put on my sports bra and put the video on. Hope you are all having a great first day of 2009!
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