Tuesday, November 26, 2013
I had a great loss on Saturday. Very excited! Worried that I might have put it back on already. Weekends are such a difficult time for me, not to mention it's just about that time of the month for me to so my chocolate cravings are going beserk!
I have tracked everything though...I am out of balance with my Points Plus right now...I need to get 26 exercise points before Saturday...which is doable. But, I also have Thanksgiving within that time frame. Thanksgiving isn't as difficult for me food wise, unless I start drinking wine. So, this year, I am going to try not to have wine so I can keep myself in check!
I will take TKB and Zumba tonight, Zumba tomorrow, Turkey Trot on Thursday morning and Friday will be a Zumba class as well. That should be about 30pp, so that will give me a little buffer.
This week...I learned that weight loss is an effort EVERYDAY!
Whether you are trying to lose or maintain, it is something we have to do each and every day. I think I still have it in my head that if you lose, you are done. Nope, it doesn't work that way. Weight loss is not a check list. You can't just cross it off . It has to be on your To Do List each and every day!
Knowing that kinda makes me want to throw a little kid fit and say, "But, that's not fair!!!"
Well, Kristi, it may not be fair, but that's how it is for you. Everyone has their own battle, and you...you have a battle to fight with food. You can win though! It's not a hopeless fight! Just remind yourself every day that...
You CAN do it!
You are STRONG!
You ARE worth it!
*** Grateful November ***
Nov 15: Grateful that my body still works and I have all my pieces and parts. Others in this world are not so lucky.
Nov 16: Grateful that I was able to get an extensive education, many girls in this world are never afforded this opportunity.
Nov 17: Grateful that I have been able to cover my bills since quitting a job I was miserable and depressed in. Ever so grateful for this!
Nov 18: Grateful for the opportunities that have been presented to me in my career. I am very lucky to be able to change career directions and appreciate it more than words can say.
Nov 19: Grateful for the people that I have met in life. Their personal life experiences have helped me in many ways, they have made me a better person.
Nov 20: Grateful for my car, especially living in Southern California! My little car is 4 years old and I put 155k miles on it, but it keeps going and I love it for that!
Nov 21: Grateful for these past two months...even though they have been difficult because I haven't worked (and I am a workaholic), they have taught me the value of slowing down and living in the present, rather the future.
Nov 22: Grateful for socks! LOL! Yes, my feet get cold all the time, in fact they are freezing right now, but socks are the best and keep me warm. I'm thankful I have plenty and they are clean!
Nov 23: Grateful that I like to cook! I may not be a gourmet chef, but I can cook and the more I do it, the better I get.
Nov 24: Grateful for my wacky sense of humor and way of looking at life, which I got from my Dad. It has come in so handy when things were not going well, it was the thing that lifted me back up.
Nov 25: Grateful for water! I drink a ton of it and there are many people that don't have this essential element in life. I am lucky to have water at my fingertips to drink, to bathe and to keep our plants alive and well.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
On Saturday, I had my WI and I was down 2.4! I was elated!
What did I do? My brain said, "I got this!" and I subconsciously gave myself permission to eat with a little "indulgence." Hello! That's not how you lost the 2.4 silly! Well, thank goodness I tracked my calories...Since Saturday, I have been averaging around 2200 calories. I had one day with a less than 1600 count. But, that isn't going to get my weight down. On top of that, I have not gone to the gym much this week.
Very frustrated with myself. But...I learned something.
Allowing an old behavior in for me is like telling the engineer, "Go!" Within a few moments, I can end up right back where I started. The Weight Gain Train is unforgiving and picks up speed like nobody's business! Especially with this body!
So ultimately, what does that mean for me now that I know that about myself? I need to remember that when I have success...that train is just parked in the station waiting for a green light. I need to remember that you can undo a weeks worth of work in a day, an hour and for us overachievers, sometimes a few minutes.
It is also shown me that I need to renew my promise of health to myself each and every morning, success or not. It is vital for my body, my mind, my spirit... Weight loss is not easy because it isn't about food. It's about the mind. What we have struggles with, challenges with, stem mostly from our brain. Extra weight is usually a symptom of something else. There are very few times that my stomach is painfully telling me to eat because I don't like to get to that point of hunger. I never have. Even as a little girl. I think that is why weight loss is so individual as well.
Our bodies, while they have the same parts, are entirely different from one to the next. As is our taste buds. But, we all have one thing in common and that is our brains. Our brains are the key to our success. There we find desire to lose the weight, motivation to keep going and intelligence to know what foods are healthy for our bodies and which are not. The most important thing in our brains is our power of choice and decision. This can make or break a weight loss success.
I know I am a smart cookie, I just need to keep my goals in the forefront of my mind. I am not doing that now. That little girl inside me is saying, "Why can't I eat like everyone else? Why can't I have those fries? Why do I have to eat something boring?" What I need to start telling my little girl within is, "You are not like everyone else. You are special. Fries are not a healthy choice for your body, but let me show you what you CAN have....and...Let's make a new, delicious recipe using fresh vegetables and see how it turns out! Cooking is fun and you get to try new things!"
I am not going to see being healthy as Missing Out, as Boring, or as a Chore. Those are all the things I hated as a kid and I am not going to let that little girl see things this way anymore. I am an adult and being healthy is something I want. It's time to change.
Some key things for me to remember from this experience is...
* Renew my goal to become healthy every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to bed.
* Change my perception...Focus on what I GET to have and GET to do, such as cooking (which I enjoy) and exercising (love to dance).
* Exercise...even if it is a 30 minute walk with my mom's crazy dogs....they need exercise too!
* Never forget that old habits and patterns die hard and that train is just waiting for the GO ahead. Keep it in the station!
Nov 6 - Grateful that I have a wonderful place to live and a home, not just a house to live in.
Nov 7 - Grateful for the financial ability to have a gym membership.
Nov 8 - Grateful for my body. Not everyone can walk or even has all there limbs or wits about them. I need to make use of this body and treat it with care.
Nov 9 - I am grateful to my Saturday morning Zumba teacher who never loses her enthusiasm and pushes us to be stronger in every class.
Nov 10- Grateful for the new friends I have made over the last few months. They have shown me such kindness and generosity yet never expected anything but friendship in return.
Nov 11 - Grateful for the men and women who have served and are serving our country in the military. Without their service, our country wouldn't have the freedom and independence it has today. Thank you!
Nov 12 - Grateful for the opportunity to interview for a job that I know I would love and do very well! Thankful that I had the right words and hoping to hear good news soon!
Nov 13- Grateful for one of my Aunties who has been making sure to keep my Dad's side of the family together, even if it means doing a second Thanksgiving and Christmas. Her heart is always in the right place, I appreciate that.
Nov 14 - Grateful for the opportunities that I have had in my life that have led me to where I am today. Without those, I would not be the woman I am today, challenges and all.
Tuesday, November 05, 2013
Last night I thought to myself...Why am I doing this? What do I want? Why am I still struggling at weight loss? What is really going on?
I am doing this because I want to be healthy. I want to be a healthy person, at a healthy weight and help others find their health again too. I am struggling because I have allowed myself to maintain old eating patterns, when I am faced with emotions. I know what to do, but I don't do it.
Well...the answer sounds silly. I am afraid. I don't know myself without the fat girl identity. I also have always shy-ed (sp?) away from male attention because of my weight and am fearful that if I lose the weight, I might get more attention from guys since guys tend to be more attracted to women thinner than me. I have spent my life being heavy, hiding behind my weight and losing the weight will expose me. My body armor will be gone, no protection, no being ignored or overlooked. I don't know how to be that girl...
But guess what? This isn't the life I want. I want to be confident. I want to be strong. I want to be healthy. I am done hiding, done slinking away from guys...I want a long term relationship again. I don't want to feel like I need to break up with someone because I am fearful that he really doesn't like me...that he is just saying he likes me because it's a joke, because I am going to be made fun of...I don't want to do that anymore. I am done with the fat girl mentality.
I am worthy of love. I am worthy of happiness. I am worthy of living a wonderful life. I am worthy. It's something I have missed all of these years. The reason I could never lose the weight or keep it off was because I didn't feel worthy. I am done feeling unworthy. I am worthy and the first place I have to start with is with me.
Before I go to bed and when I wake up....when I want to eat something that is unhealthy or eat for reasons other than hunger, I am going to remind myself, "You are worthy," and "You are possible."
The life I want is within my reach. All I have to do is go after it!
Nov 2: I am thankful for my wonderful friends who support me and love me, through thick and thin.
Nov 3: I am thankful for my adorable nieces and nephews who always bring a smile to my face and remind me every time I see them to live in the moment!
Nov 4: I am thankful to the new people I've met that have encouraged my spiritual growth and belief in myself, as well as helping me to believe again that there is something bigger than us out there. Faith in self and in spirit can move mountains.
Nov 5: I am thankful to the Done Girls and to the Bahama Mamas for reminding me everyday that I can do this and that I'm possible! Thank you ladies (and gents)!
Saturday, November 02, 2013
The last few days have been difficult. I've bounced right back into old habits and now its time to bounce back to my new ones.
I did so well most of this week, to ruin it over the last two days disappoints me. I allowed myself to eat without thinking first, and I just popped back into old eating patterns. Tomorrow is a new day and I will make better choices. This week has been difficult emotionally, financially and I am feeling myself fall back into a slight depression. I can't let that happen again. It was such a challenge last time and I know how hard it was to get back to life again.
So...I am going to participate in Grateful November. Maybe you have heard of it? It is usually done on Facebook, but I thought I would post here instead. For each day of November, you post one thing you are grateful for. If you would like, feel free to post what you are grateful for in the comments of this blog. I think looking at what I have versus what I don't have, will help fight this depression. Also, I am going to do some sort of exercise each day in November (with the exception of today since I didn't go to the gym and I am waking up super early tomorrow). I am also going to make myself THINK before I put anything in my mouth.
Weight loss is challenging, but it can be accomplished. As one of my wonderful friends told us, tell yourself "I'm possible." This week, this is going to be my mantra. Any time I am wanting to eat when I am not hungry or miss my workout, I'm going to tell myself quietly and kindly, "I'm possible."
Nov. 1st: Today, I am grateful for my wonderful, encouraging and supportive family that loves me, faults and all.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
There are 67 days left of 2013. Yesterday was the first day of my challenge. I had a great breakfast, healthy snack and lunch. . . I did pretty well for going out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. I was still full at dinner... so dinner was simply a light yogurt.
But...I did it! I didn't eat at night in front of the TV! I made it last night within my calories/PP, and I am very proud of myself! I turned down Cheetos, Tortilla Chips, Ice Cream AND Frozen Yogurt! Wowsers! Today was a bit of a challenge too. I could have sat on the couch and be a potato...but I got up, went to my WW meeting, came home and made a healthy breakfast, cleaned up and then went to Zumba. The Zumba instructor wasn't very good, but hey...I went!
It's now 9:55pm and I actually turned down going to a family BBQ earlier today because I didn't want to ruin my week with the food there and...the alcohol. I had a very small (about 2 oz) glass of wine tonight and weighed out 1 oz of tortilla chips. It felt like I had a nice treat. Even with that, I am on plan for the week still. It's been 2 days On Program and I am elated!
64 more days to go in this challenge! I am looking forward to the accomplishment! I know Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas will be difficult, but I will have a plan to make it work!
Totals for today:
Calories - 1587
PP - 42
Exercise - 60 minutes Zumba
Other Activity - Laundry!
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