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A Renewed Start!

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Isn't it crazy how pictures can just jump you back into action?! I meet up with some of my friends on Saturday and they wanted pictures. I am not fond of pictures, I am always cringing when I see myself. And, I had come from Zumba, my hair was a mess and I forgot to bring a regular bra, so had to wear my sports bra under my change of clothes. All around, I was not keen on taking this photo.

Well....I was right. It stinks. I think I look terrible and this dress used to be a little big on me. I had lost about 25 pounds and kept it off for three years. Over the last year, I have had a very rough year, moved 3 times and am starting another new job. To say I have been stressed, is putting it mildly. I have finally come to a point where I am getting myself back together. However, I did gain my weight back and am 1# from my highest weight.

So...here is the photos, because they wanted multiple shots. Ugh!



So this week, I got back on track. I decided, even though my doc wants me to track calories, I can't track that and PP (WW) too. So, I decided I would just track PP. I started my week off on the Simply Filling plan. Well, by the end of the weekend, I had used up 33 of my 49 weekly points. I changed back to Tracking on Monday.

I did good, until Thursday hit. I was working with another (new) co-worker and poor thing. She was so stressed out when I met up with her. She vented, which I didn't mind. However, I noticed I ate so much more on Thursday evening after work. What was different? Having gone through a vent session, I must have just absorbed all of it and I guess it did stress me out. A better solution would have been to go to the gym, but I apparently relied on my old habits of being comforted by food. But...I tracked it all.

So, today I thought I would go to the 2 hour Zumba class. Which, I did. It made me feel so good! So energized and happy! I ate well for the rest of the day and just a bit ago I had 4 more points I didn't need. But, I am not going to beat myself up about that. I am learning. So, due to using a lot of PP this weekend (which I might not have used if doing Tracking instead of Simply Filling) and my Thursday, I am in the negative for the week. To the tune of -43. Not great.

What I am going to take this as is a learning experience. Here is what I have learned:
1) I love Simply Filling, but portion control is a problem for me. Tracking is what I need to do.
2) Stress, even from others, drives me to food. I need to try to recognize that sooner.
3) TV for me = Food. I need to re-work my evenings and plan on going to the gym instead of watching TV. It will make my day go better foodwise, it will give me those feel good endorphins and I won't be sitting in front of the TV wanting to eat.
4) I got up early one morning this week and went for a walk. I didn't worry about my pace (which is a first!) and I just enjoyed it. It set my day off really positively and I want to do that more often.
5) As Yoda says, "Do or Do Not - There is no try." I can want, wish and hope all I want, but only action is going to make a difference in my weightloss.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAPHRAEL 4/13/2014 4:03PM

    You look beautiful! You and I have a lot in common. I'm with you, as much as I hate it, I haven't found a good substitute for tracking calories. That's an interesting observation about how you deal with other people's stress. Maybe the next time you need to be a good friend, you can both walk and talk, that way you work out the stress in a healthy way together. TV and eating in the evenings is my danger zone. I hope your evening workout plans address the problem for you. I think we have the most success when we can start stringing those good feelings together, one workout at a time.

I'm cheering for you!

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ISLENAA 4/13/2014 10:24AM

    it's tough getting back on track and i for one give you kudos!!! stay with it girlfriend and rock yourself proud!! emoticon emoticon

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KELAN5 4/12/2014 12:28PM

    You can do this! By the way, you look lovely-- you just can't see it right now. You will be lovely at any weight, but losing weight will make you healthier and improve your quality of life. Keep pushing!!!

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JCARDINAL 4/12/2014 11:27AM

    Knowing your stressors is half the battle. You can do this!! emoticon

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 4/12/2014 2:37AM

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144AUTUMN 4/12/2014 2:04AM

  You can do it!!

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EMSSBEARS 4/12/2014 1:44AM

    Good luck with your re-commitment I know you will do emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 4/12/2014 12:59AM

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CTICKET 4/12/2014 12:44AM

    I had a similar experience. I took a trip to Catalina Island with my mom and brother. My brother brought wetsuits and diving gear, so we suited and went in. Afterwards my mom took a picture of us. The wet, skin-tight, black rubber suit made me look like a walrus standing next to my trim 165 lb brother who's only 1 year younger and has the same skeletal frame build as I do. Everybody else who looks at the pic says it's not as bad as I think it is, but it's not what I want to be. I don't find it depressing or de-motivational to look at it. Rather I think it helps me be honest with myself and realize the need to improve.

Best wishes with your re-commitment!
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Learning to trust the process and ditching my unproductive thoughts!

Sunday, April 06, 2014

Over the last week, we have had earthquakes pretty regularly here. I am very fearful of them and I have been on edge, not really eating and sleep has been terrible. I am extremely grateful that things have settled down a bit, for the time being. Not eating properly and no sleep has actually put me up in weight by about 5lbs! I am one pound away from my highest weight. Not exactly thrilled about that.

But, it made me realize a few things. There is a lot in my life that I still want. And, those things are not out of my reach, but I am not reaching for them.I want to be a healthy weight so I can be more active, travel and feel confident. Confident enough to allow myself to fall in love. I still want that, even at 35! We've all heard the phrase, "Get out of your own way." Nothing could be said that is truer for me! I am the one in my way, I am the one holding me back.

I am always happy to be a cheerleader for my friends losing weight (and I have a few that are doing fabulously and I am so proud of them!). However, I don't encourage myself. In fact, I think I sabotage myself. My thinking is where it all stems from.

Somewhere along the line, I came up with all these crazy thought patterns or processes, about losing weight, which SOLELY pertain to me and nobody else. If you have tried to lose weight many times before, maybe you can relate? Here are some of those thoughts that often run through my head...

* Exercise only counts if I do an hour. At the gym. And I am sweaty.
* Well, I already blew my lunch, might as well eat what I want for dinner and start over tomorrow.
* I can have ___ for lunch, I'll just have a plain salad for dinner. (This very rarely works out).
* Let me try to lose what I gained before going back to WW so it doesn't show in my weight tracker.
* I'm not "that" fat. (What does this even mean?!)
* I exercised today, so I can have _____ -OR- I deserve ____ because I exercised today.
* Maybe I should just quit WW, I am wasting my money if I am not sticking to it. (When I leave, I gain).
* Maybe I should go back to WW, I do better because I am spending the money.
* I don't need to pay for anything, I can use SP and exercise on my own. I don't need a trainer or gym membership.
* If I pay for this, I will do better because I am putting money out there. I definitely need a trainer and a gym membership.
* I will start running after I buy a good pair of shoes. And running clothes too. I will get those with my next pay check. (Never happens).
* There is nothing off plan (food wise), so I can have ____. (But, ___ leads to ___, etc.)
* I would exercise more if classes were at more convenient times. I am going to get a Groupon for a Yoga Studio or {exercise class of the moment}.
* That's about right (when measuring something, but in actuality it is totally off).
* I've been on WW for so many years, I don't need to track. I know what I am doing.
* I'm doing everything right, but I am still not losing!? (Yeah, right...I know better!)
* I need to cut sugar out of my diet, cold turkey. There is no other way.

All of these thoughts are SO ILLOGICAL! Some even contradict each other. The truth of the matter is this.
1) I need to track my food on SP and WW (because my doc wants calorie counts).
2) I need to exercise every day. Period. Regardless of where or how sweaty. I am missing consistency here.
3) Measure my food! I am not good at eyeballing, my portions grow.
4) I am addicted to sugar, so I need to find a way to incorporate a small treat each night. Maybe Dove Dark Chocolate?
5) I need to stay at WW for the support, the encouragement and to get on the scale in front of someone else. It keeps me accountable, much more than being on my own.
6) I know what healthy eating is. Just cause WW allows you to eat Cheetos, doesn't mean you should. I need to incorporate more fruits and veggies in my snacks and curb the processed foods since there is no nutrition there for my body.
7) I don't need a trainer or a gym membership. If I really want to lose weight, I will. A trainer and a gym are not requirements. However, I do enjoy classes, so I need to start utilizing my gym membership more often.
8) No matter how much I KNOW about weight loss, how to lose, exercise and nutrition.... knowledge does not equal weight loss. Action does. I need to put what I know into action to see the results I want.
9) Be realistic. I am not going to lose 90 lbs by May. Intentions, wishes and hope won't lose the weight either. I am going to have to work at reaching my goal each and every day and forget about what will happen in the future. Be realistic and be present.
10) Be KIND to ME! I speak terribly to myself. It's time to be a little nicer and to be as supportive, encouraging and understanding to myself as I am with my friends.

Really what it comes down to is do the work and trust the process!

Today is a new start for me and I will do my best each and every day. Goals are usually accomplished more successfully when you write them down,so...

My goal is to lose 2-3 pounds a week, for a total of 39 pounds by July 12th. (I have my cousin's wedding to attend).

I know this might not be so helpful to others, but just the act of writing it and posting helps. Therefore, I just want to thank you for listening!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRABADA 4/7/2014 12:55PM

    I loved this blog! I definitely say all the same things to myself (though in my head, it's TWO hours at the gym - and who's going to do that?!). Glad to know I'm not the only one! Thanks for sharing.

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C.


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KELAN5 4/6/2014 7:10PM

    I am soooo glad you are determined to get back on track! I would suggest (just something that's worked for me) that you work on going a little slower with the weight loss. I try to plan for one pound per week. If more comes off, great (it often does!). If not, that's okay too. It seems slow, but even five pounds a month looks impressive to most people and the time goes by shockingly fast. Exercising daily will also mean that the weight loss will look more extreme than if you are just losing weight by itself (and help you to look great for that wedding!). I am definitely smaller all around than the last time I was at this weight, even with fibroid tumors in the way. You can do this!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JCARDINAL 4/6/2014 11:59AM

    This is a fantastic blog!! I see so many of my own excuses. Great new goal!! emoticon

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I hear you, loud and clear, Universe! =)

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

It's so crazy how things happen sometimes.

I have had such a chaotic year last year, it's been a wild ride. My weight fluctuated up and down the same 2-3 pounds and I wasn't really getting anywhere. As of 2014, I have gotten down about 8 pounds and this week is the week I could potentially get past that mark, since I haven't been below 222 since July.

I have been struggling, but I have been asking the Universe..."Please help me to help myself. I give you permission to guide me in the right direction." Well, over the last week or so, I have received the Universe's message loud and clear. GET HEALTHY! WE WILL HELP!

Today I woke up finding an email stating I was selected to be the Done Girl of the Month! I was beyond surprised, grateful, excited and a whole bunch of other emotions. Last Sunday, I was notified via SparkMail that I had won a prize in the January Jumpstart Challenge and I had over 1200 fitness minutes! I have also had very strange encounters where it seemed like something said was meant for me to hear, or something I saw was meant for me to see. And...I have been seeing Angels everywhere!

I am feeling very blessed and very loved. I think tomorrow will start a new healthy lifestyle for me. I am going to STOP dieting. I am so fearful of this, I know it's going to be hard not to track my calories and Points Plus, but I think I need to do this for a few weeks to get back in touch with my body and my hunger. I will stick to Power Foods (lean protein, fat free dairy, vegetables, fruits and my gluten free carbs, which are minimal).

I think because I have dieted so much in my life, I really need to re-learn what healthy (not super controlled, diet mentality) eating looks like as a LIFESTYLE. I am going to give myself the month of February to see how this goes.

My goals for February are:

1) To be more CONSISTENTLY active. Exercising in the early morning works for me, I have learned from my past. I need to begin getting back into that routine.

2) I will eat from the Power Foods and serve myself on a 10" plate. I will eat 3 meals a day and snack on fruit, fat free yogurt, nuts or veggies IF I am hungry.

3) I will speak to myself kindly and with love. I will remind myself each morning and each night of the positive changes I made that day and how that is improving my health.

So...Universe - I hear you!

You are encouraging me to take care of my body and to start loving ME! This year, that is what I will focus on and I won't let you down!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RYDERB 2/13/2014 7:03PM

    Congratulations Kristi! emoticon

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JLOVESDOGS 2/13/2014 4:52PM

    emoticon Congratulations on being the Done Girl of the month. Keep it up. emoticon

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JCARDINAL 2/12/2014 1:58PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SUEAZZI 2/12/2014 10:30AM

    emoticon

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KELAN5 2/12/2014 10:22AM

    Best wishes for an amazing February! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DOG_MOM 2/12/2014 8:53AM

    That is wonderful how things are starting to happen for you! Those are great goals. It's funny how after asking for so long for help that sometimes help comes and smacks you right between the eyes. Good for you for keeping your eyes open for the messages that were being sent your way.

Keep up the great work. You can definitely do this. emoticon

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NEWROSE27 2/12/2014 5:20AM

    They all sound like good strategies. You can do it Done Girl!
How nice it is to see angels.

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Believing In YOU is the First Step! February goals!

Sunday, February 02, 2014

I have struggled. I exercise. I blog. I read about health. I watch programs about weight loss. I am studying to become a Group Exercise Instructor. But, I struggle. My biggest battle is what is at the end of my fork. Or so I thought.

I think that my biggest struggle is believing in myself. Believing that I can do this. Believing that I am able, capable and worthy. I know I have touched on this before, but never really realized that this is what is at the root of it for me.



I haven't start to live the life I want completely. I have had moments of of it, glimpses here and there, but I am holding myself back. It's time to stop that.

I can do this.
I will do this.
The only person that can stop it, is me.
I am worth the effort.
I am worth the time.
I am worth each drop of sweat.
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to live the life I dreamed of, not a life I am living to please others.
I need to take care of myself first.
I need to remember that I count too.
I need to finally love myself!

I have said variations of this before. But it hasn't changed my actions...err...my fork and what I put into my mouth. Now, that has to change. I can do this. I can. The only way I am going to win this is with my brain....my body will follow.

This month....I have a few goals.

1) February DG Fitness Challenge - Aim for 6 days of 60 minutes exercise each week (360 minutes each week).

2) Stay within my PP for the day. At the end of the day I will track my calories on SP to start understanding what I am eating, how much I am eating and if I need to change up my diet. I think I am lacking protein.

3) February Bahama Mama's Challenge to love ourselves. My goals for this challenge are to be mindful, live with intention and take care of myself. I will also study 30 minutes a day for my Group Instructor certification to gain consistency.

I think this gives me a written plan, with specific goals in mind. I can do this.

I will do this.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JCARDINAL 2/3/2014 2:56PM

    Fantastic blog, great goals!! emoticon

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SUEAZZI 2/3/2014 10:17AM

    Setting goals I find to be a key ingredient. You are off to a great start for February! emoticon

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SWEETZMIX 2/3/2014 8:25AM

    Planning is half the battle! Good luck!

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NEWROSE27 2/3/2014 6:27AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RYDERB 2/2/2014 9:55PM

    emoticon emoticon

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EDDYMEESE 2/2/2014 9:17PM

    The first thing I thought to myself reading this was that you need to LOVE YOURSELF and I see you got to that in the end, so great! Also, BE KIND to yourself!

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NICOLETTEJJ 2/2/2014 7:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DNJEN471 2/2/2014 7:34PM

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GRACILU 2/2/2014 7:31PM

    There is no stopping you now! Great job!! You can do this!!

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Frustrated....I think I am Up Again. Ugh!

Saturday, January 25, 2014

I am beyond frustrated at this moment. This blog will be short because I am headed out to the gym to do a Virtual 5k, then I have my WW weigh in this morning. I am frustrated because I just got on my home scale and am up 5 lbs! In one week! And, I exercised Over 7.5 hours this week!

Why I think I am up:
1) My food hasn't been great and I am floating between Simply Filling (no tracking) and Points (tracking). I think I slipped back into diet mode and am overeating.
2) Yesterday, that TOM started. I usually gain, but it's like 2 lbs.
3) I haven't slept very well...I think my body is fighting off the flu or a cold.

Despite that, I should be at least maintaining. I know I am not being very kind to myself here, but I am just frustrated. As it is, I can't eat gluten and I have to take a lactaid pill before any dairy. And, I have been very active all this week. My food wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible. I didn't binge. And for 5 lbs, I feel like I should have.

Breathe.

Okay. I am mad. But that isn't going to help me lose weight. What do I need to do?

1) Keep up the exercise
2) Try something different with the food. This week, I will eat mostly Simply Filling Power Foods, but track my calories. My goal is to be under 1600 each day.
3) Blog each night before I go to bed as to how my day went so I can learn what I am doing or not doing. I have a feeling I am missing something.

Thanks for listening....I just needed that vent. Now on to the 5k and to take the 5lb gain.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACILU 2/2/2014 7:41PM

    Thank you for being real!

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BUFFYSMOM2 1/28/2014 5:02PM

    Don't give up. Be extra kind to yourself. We beat ourselves up so much because of a little gain. Get right back up there and keep trying. You are so worth it and you're doing it!!!
Hugs!
Patti emoticon

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GOTTALOSE57 1/26/2014 7:43AM

    We all have draw backs, and our weight fluctuates, it will all even out. Stay calm and don't beat yourself up.

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NEWROSE27 1/25/2014 6:47PM

    TOM looks pretty disappointing on the scales. Be kind to yourself. Tweek what you can and most important keep persisting.

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JCARDINAL 1/25/2014 1:29PM

    You'll figure this out!! emoticon emoticon

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SISSY_24 1/25/2014 10:01AM

    emoticon emoticon

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RYDERB 1/25/2014 9:44AM

    emoticon
Don't forget when you start a new exercise regimen your muscles hold water. Add that to your TOM and if you haven't been sleeping well that's another 2 pounds of water weight. Hang in there. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/25/2014 9:45:45 AM

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SAVANNAHROSE87 1/25/2014 9:41AM

    The number one thing I have always been told is you cant out exercise a bad diet, if you think you are over eating your calorie range then your probably right. I have noticed if I dont track my calorie intake is sometimes double the amount I should have even if it was all healthy food. Everyday is a struggle, everyday a new adventure... I know its hard, but just keep your head up and keep trying, I absolutely wont weigh myself when I start my TOM because I gain anywhere between 2-4lbs so just wait until its over and I think the scale will show you a number you can be happy with. Have a great Saturday girlfriend!!

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