Wednesday, July 02, 2014
Universe...I am listening. I have heard you. I am trusting my instincts and intuition. I hear you.
Weight is such a weird thing. I think as women, we think about it more than we should. On Saturday, I went to a Manifestation Vision Board class. As silly as it might sound, it was pretty life changing. We had to write down what we believe is holding us back.
Of course, I said fear. But, we had to break that down. So, I wrote...fear of not being enough. Fear of being unworthy or undeserving. And responsibility to care for others, but fear that I will never care for myself that way. Then we had to voice this to the person next to us.
Then we took the paper and tore it up. It nearly brought me to tears. Life changing. We threw the torn pieces in the trash. I feel like a rid myself of something that day. Of my doubt. Of my reluctancy. Of my fears.
Since Saturday...I have been seeing things so differentlly. It seems I have allowed myself permission to take control of my life. It didn't come all at once. But, in pieces. Today, I did some writing. I have been putting it off for a week. Then I went back to the gym. I have been putting that off for a week. Then I gave myself permission to eat like a human being, not a dieter. I of course tracked it. But, I gave myself space. I didn't beat myself up in my head, or call myself names. It was very empowering.
And...what I am realizing is that I have had the power to change my life all this time. There was no special food or program I needed to buy. No special workout DVD or equipment I needed to have. Everything I needed, I have.
It was just a matter of me. Believing it.
So yes. I had my Dorothy moment! It's time to get the life I want!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Over the last 2 weeks, I have told myself I need to get up in the morning and get some exercise in. I have been attempting to do it in the evening, but things just get in the way and my schedule is crazy.
Anyways...If I did even just a nice 30-minute walk, it would help! But, I find myself wide awake when my alarm goes off, but I don't want to get out of bed. I am seriously a 7-year old kid who is fighting with a parent to "not go to school today." Well, instead of school, it's getting up and working out.
The even crazier thing is, I LIKE to work out! I just really hate getting out of bed! Seriously!!!
Tomorrow is another chance...I'll let you know how it goes! ;)
Thursday, June 19, 2014
This has been a very insightful week for me. I think I am starting to get it! After 27 years of dieting, from WW to JC...I have done it all, nearly!
The one thing I haven't done was stay on plan. I get one part of a program right, the rest is kind of half way completed or 100% completed and very inconsistent. When it comes to weight loss, I am very inconsistent. Well, I guess I am consistent with my inconsistencies! Oi, Kristi!
So here is something I am learning....I have been doing the birthdays for a group over the last couple of weeks. I have a list of over 6,000 birthdays and each day need to go through the list for that day to see if each person is still a member of the weight loss group and if they are still active. What I am seeing is that only about 30% of people are still active, or actively trying to lose weight, on the list.
So what am I getting at? When it comes to weight loss, people quit. People give up. People come back at inconsistent paces. And guess what? What I have been doing is COMMON when it comes to weight loss.
You would think that would give me comfort...but it actually disappoints me. There are so many people in this world that want their lives to be different, including me! So what gives?
We often give UP. We just stop doing the healthy things in our live. We often give IN to our old patterns. It's true! Even SP has a pic about it! ;)
It's hard to be healthy and CHANGE your lifestyle. It's hard to be OVERWEIGHT and UNHAPPY. It's hard to be FRUSTRATED with your body. It's hard to MAINTAIN a loss. But, SP's got it right here too! Choose YOUR hard!!!
What it comes down to...is I DO have the BODY I have worked for. Despite my medical issues, there are still things that I can DO that would get me a lot closer to the body I WANT. So...what am I willing to WORK for???
I can tell you this...whatever happens, I will NOT stop TRYING! I will be at WW forever, just for the accountability of weighing in each week. I will be tracking my food with SP forever. I want to help others too, but need to help myself BEFORE I can do that. So c'mon Kristi! Time to saddle up, girl!!!
Thursday, June 05, 2014
It has been a terrible week...My cousin passed away last week and things have been all over the place. I didn't get over to the store this week and we have been eating left overs from various family gatherings. I have still been tracking, but haven't gotten much sleep and haven't gone to the gym since Saturday. My body is feeling it...
Well, in looking for pictures of my cousin for tomorrows service...I came across some photos of myself from 2008 and 2010. I was horrified when I found them...immediately my mind goes to, "What did I weigh here?" And, ugh! When I realized I was about 12lbs LIGHTER in these photos than I am now, it just made me so sad. And frustrated. And angry with myself. Here are the pics...
What am I doing to myself and why am I consoling myself with food? It shows on my body and makes me feel terrible about myself. So why am I doing it? That's when I decided....I am going to challenge myself. I am going to put myself through a 36 day challenge. I choose 36 days, because my other cousin's wedding is in 36 days and I really don't want pictures of myself at this weight in his wedding photos.
So, what is the plan?
1) Stay within my calorie range 1200-1550.
2) Drink 8 glasses of H2O each day.
3) Exercise 30 minutes a day, doing something I enjoy.
4) Every morning, review my goals and re-motivate myself to stay on this path.
5) No weighing myself during the week, only on WI days at WW (Saturdays).
6) No more negative self talk.
7) For the next 36 days, stay away from junk food, fast food and processed food. This will give my body a chance to breathe and feel better.
8) Strength training at least 2 times per week, even if it is a 10 min SP video!
9) Blog....even if it is short. Just on how I am doing, giving myself a time to reflect each day.
10) At the end of my challenge, schedule my annual appointment with my doctor and have my thyroid re-checked.
I am HAPPY to say...I met one of my BIRTHDAY goals! I passed my ACE Fitness Instructor test on Tuesday! I was so excited! I want to be able to teach at the end of this year and not be embarrassed by my body or ashamed that I am teaching without being a skinny mini. =)
Thank you for your support and here is to the next 36 days!!!
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