Terrible Day Yesterday...Considering Moving to Clean-Eating (Feedback pls!)

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I was almost back on track for 3 days in a row...and yesterday just was terrible! I had a very bad binge day, of which I have not binged like that in about a year. I am frustrated with my job, it's not what I want to be doing, but I have bills and student loans to re-pay. My boss is a micromanger and has litterally told me that "micromanaging works." He has never worked for any one else in his life and doesn't understand the problems that mm causes. Anyhow, it was a rough day and after spending 2 hours on L.A.'s finest freeways, I got a call from my boss that I had to go into the office. It was already past 5:30p. We ended up having a conference call meeting while I was still on the freeway. When I got to the office, he wasn't there. I missed my Zumba class, which I really needed yesterday and by the time I got home, there were no more classes of anything for the night.

I ended up eating my gluten free cookies, the entire container. Then decided I should actually eat a normal dinner...so had some turkey black bean soup. I felt horrible. What did I do? I ate more, 4 popsicles (yes they were low-calorie, but still) and then a handful of pistachios. I felt really horrible before going to bed. I need to learn not to do this. It does not help me in anyway...and over the last few months...I have noticed that food doesn't even make me feel better anymore. So why the heck am I still doing it?!

I think there is also one other thing that is put into play here that I didn't realize until this morning. My new insurance has caused an issue with my prescriptions and Target just changed my birth control pills. That isn't the issue...I just realized that I had missed 3 days of my birth control pills and was greeted with that mistake this morning.

This morning, I don't feel like eating anything. I can't even believe that my stomach is growling, how is that even possible?! Anyways....I am going to make a healthy lunch (sandwich, apple, carrots and a banana for a snack) and I think I will just take a banana with me for breakfast. I have to be out in the field today, so I don't want to be left with the easy drive-thru option. I think I will also stop and get some coffee this morning.

I just really want to end this horrible cycle once and for all. I really think that I need to take sugar and sugar substitutes out of my diet. They make me crazy and I think they are contributing to my cravings. I am considering doing a Clean-eating program, since I am already Gluten Free... I was recommended the Eat-Clean Diet Recharged by Tosca Reno.

Has anybody been doing clean eating? Has it helped you? What recommendations or tips do you have? Would love to hear your thoughts and feedback!

Thanks!

Kristi~

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CECE0330 5/21/2013 3:59PM

I try to follow the Paleo/Primal lifestyle when it comes to food. That means lean, organic meats, vegetables and fruits, eggs, nuts, quinoa. I don't eliminate dairy altogether but I do use almond or coconut milk instead of regular. Greek yogurt. Honey to sweeten things, and no artificial sweeteners. For me, my body just feels SO much better when I eat clean. I can't eat gluten without crazy joint pain and stomach issues, so I've gone grain-free for the most part. Sorry your boss is such a tool. That is beyond obnoxious, making you drive back to the office only to not be there! UGH!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

EBURGITE 5/21/2013 12:34PM

fwiw, most gluten free foods tend to be nutrient poor and calorie dense. i've been gf for over a year (with some 'cheating" here and there). i can't eat most gf foods, because they have either corn or potato in them (which wreak havoc on my system). i've moved to paleo, which is much better for me. sugar definitely cranks the cravings, and if i have little to none, it's much easier to control my eating. i've been trying to do the paleo thing for a couple of months, and EVERY stinkin' time i eat grains (even in sauces) my body reacts poorly. what i've discovered is that there are a WHOLE lot of foods my body doesn't like...even ones others might consider "healthy." when i avoid those, i'm much more able to control my eating. i eat veggies, fruits, nuts, beef, poultry, pork, fish, shellfish, dairy products. no grains at all for now. i thought i'd try it to see if some of my "issues" cleared up (hoping it wouldn't make a difference), it made a HUGE difference, and now whenever i "cheat" with grains, my body responds even worse to them. so, it's obvious i need to stay away from them. each of us is different.....learning what YOUR body needs for optimum health is the most important thing you can do. keep pressing on. best of luck discovering what works for you. Report Inappropriate Comment

RYDERB 5/21/2013 12:29PM

I have no idea what the Eat Clean program is but I like the name. I've been doing a lot of reading lately about how our brains are wired. And that when we eat sweet, salty, fatty FrankenFoods they cause a chemical "reward" reaction which imprints on our brains causing us to want even more. And other hormonal effects. The book also stated that our brains don't do moderation well. That having no sugar or sugar substitutes is easier than trying moderation. After 28 days of no sugar I have to agree. I haven't had a single emotional food binge since eliminating it, along with other things. Good luck with your clean eating program. I hope it helps you find balance and peace. Report Inappropriate Comment

JENSTRESS 5/21/2013 12:24PM

I haven't read that program of clean eating. I will say that I do a LOT of clean eating though. I mostly eat only whole, unprocessed foods. It is very healthy and I feel fantastic because of it. That being said, I don't really eat sugar. I don't eat sugar substitutes. I still believe in moderation. I just try to limit sugar type things to once a week. (Or less) Here is what I do. Smoothies for breakfast. Easy, delish. Clean. Salads for lunch, very filling, healthy and delish. Fruit for a snack, sometimes with nuts. Lean meat, rice and veggie for dinner. I do change some things up, except breakfast and lunch (lunch gets changed up on the weekends at least 1 day) For a while I even cut out natural peanut butter because there is a sugar there. I still limit the amounts of "hidden" sugars that I eat. LIke PB, or anything that you wouldn't think had sugars in it. Of course, not eating boxed food makes it really easy!!! After doing that, my sugar cravings are much more under control. I don't have too hard of a time sticking with any of the moderation. I have even had a birthday party or some occasion that calls for a dessert for a month straight (on weekends) and I enjoyed a small piece of cake or dessert at all of these functions and then STOPPED. At least once the little sugar monster in me DID awaken and think, "MORE!!! GIVE ME MORE!" But I ignored him and he went away. I guess I really follow SP pretty well. I make the healthiest choices possible at least 85-90% of the time. The other 10-15% is a little treat. Some weeks I am clean 100%, but I refuse to not allow those things EVER again. I would say that clean eating is great, as long as you don't get too hard on yourself. It is really nice as it works to cleanse your body of the stuff you shouldn't eat regularly anyway. I know that after some time eating healthy like that, I stopped randomly craving things that were terrible for me. Sure, I still have an occasional, but not nearly like it was! Report Inappropriate Comment

35 + 2 Days! Still struggling with weight and men, ugh!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I turned 35 on Monday. I was a little worried about it...I never had an issue with 20 or 30, but the years with a "5" in it always seem to wig me out. 25 was tough, now looking back on it...I kinda feel like what was I thinking?!

But...at the same time...25 was hard for the same reasons that 35 was hard this year. I am not where I thought I would be in life. Yes, I did let go of the "planning" ideals when I hit 30 and just let things happen. But the two things that were frustrating at 25, are still frustrating at 35.

For those of you that follow this blog, I'm sure you already know what I am going to say. My weight. I am still struggling with my weight. Even at 15 years old, I wasn't happy with my weight. Yes, I was dancing much more, about 20 hours a week and I was on Cheer. But, I was still carrying weight. I was about 188 in high school, a size 14. I didn't really self-sabotage at 15, but overate often, then diet, then overeat. It was a cycle or pattern. However, I didn't lose the weight at 15, nor at 25 and now I find myself at 35 and still struggling.

I truly believe that weight is a symptom of something else that is going on inside us. I know for me that is 100% true. I have never really been self-confident or had a positive self-image...I tried to fake it and it's a hard thing to fake. Especially being in sales! I think once I have a little faith in myself, I can start turning this around...but I get spooked and self-sabotage. I don't want to, but it happens. I have more or less figured out WHY I am doing this....and it relates to something that happened to me a few years ago. I am choosing to keep that private for the moment because I still haven't figured it out totally in my head and it is still very painful for me.

The other thing I really expected at 25, was to be married or at least in a long-term relationship. That didn't happen at 25 or 35. Again, I think a lot of this is tied into my weight and my self perception. And...the fact that the guys that I have allowed into my life were terrible for me. Looking back, I now realize that a lot of the guys I have dated haven't been right for me because they needed me for something, but there was nothing I needed from them. When I say needed, I am referring to emotional needs, lots of "mother" issues with these guys and I often fall into the mother hen type of girl when people need me. If they tried to use me for money, I immediately dropped that guy. Fortunately, that's only happened once.

Looking at the larger scope, I need to realize that I want to be with someone who "wants" to be with me and not someone who "needs" me for something. I guess it's hard for me to gauge that because my head just keeps thinking, "Well, who would want to be with me? I'm fat." I need to realize and truly understand that I am MORE than my weight. It's not going to be an easy thing to overcome since I have told myself this for so many years. I know it in my head though...now, I just need to teach my heart to learn and accept it too.

Needless to say, this past week has been difficult because it really did get me thinking about these two things. These are my road blocks. I am thinking...the best thing I can give myself this year is to learn how to get over these hurdles, and no matter what, accept and love myself unconditionally.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RYDERB 5/20/2013 1:01PM

Happy very belated bithday. I'm sorry you've been dealing with so much emotional baggage. If you get time, I think you might like reading the book It Starts With Food. There's so much really good nutritional information in there that has really helped me understand why weight has been such a struggle for me for so long. I'm on day 27 of my Whole30 and I feel like a new person. The cooking and meal planning were the hardest parts but completely worth it given the results so far. Biggest most miraculous change is I've gone 27 days without any emotional eating. In this moment 35 might feel "old". But you are young and beautiful. Enjoy today. Enjoy each new day. Don't waste a single one feeling bad about yourself. You deserve to be happy and proud of everything you've accomished so far. Report Inappropriate Comment

CAROLYN_ROSE 5/15/2013 1:31PM

Happy Early Birthday!! I know exactly what you mean!! It's so hard to love yourself. Something that I am still struggling with. You think that losing the weight will automatically make you accept youself but I can tell you that it's so not true! It's even harder! I hope you will learn to not only accept yourself but love youself! You deserve it! Report Inappropriate Comment

13 days to 35! And..Biggest Loser Auditions

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

I thought I would be able to drop about 10 pounds before my birthday....I am about 2 pounds down. I turn 35 in 13 days and that means that I will have been trying to lose weight for 26 years now! Ugh! I really hate that it has been this long and I am still trying to work my way through this.

So, I tried out for Biggest Loser last year and didn't get a call back. I had people staring me down and telling me I wasn't fat enough for the show. Of course, it wasn't the show people, but other people in line.

I am considering trying out again this Saturday since they are holding auditions about an hour from my house. I was also thinking of making a video because the auditions are only about 20 seconds long and I might have a better shot with a video than the audition...I am not sure. Maybe both???

In a way, I am a little uncomfortable about weighing in on a huge scale in front of the nation on TV, but at the same time, I am much more uncomfortable in the body I am in right now. What makes me nuts is I know what to do, but I am not doing it. I can exercise and I enjoy it, but I am not consistent. I eat healthy most of the day, but at night I have my biggest struggles. I even opted to not get cable after I moved so I wouldn't eat in front of the TV...which I have to say has worked. But I am watching a few shows online. However, my TV time has decreased from about 3-4 hours a day to about an hour a day, 3 days a week.

I just really don't want to begin my second half of life in an overweight, unhealthy body.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOOKIE 4/30/2013 2:49PM

GO FOR IT!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

RYDERB 4/30/2013 1:25PM

I vote you make a video. To give you chance to tell your story. and if they don't pick you this time. Maybe they'll decide to do a different type of season someday like they use to, when they did Army vs Navy and different families. I'm on Day 7 of a Whole30. 30 days of eating only whole foods, to reset your metabolism. I'm also reading their book It Starts with Food, which is helping me understand why losing weight has been so hard and what all the so called "heathy" processed foods and grains have been doing to our bodies. I'm not allowed to weigh in until the end of the 30 days, but I'll let you know how it goes. So far it feels too easy. Hopefully that's a good thing and I'm not doing something wrong. Comment edited on: 4/30/2013 1:31:09 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

CAROLYN_ROSE 4/30/2013 12:19PM

Doesn't hurt to try! i say go for it, but even if yuo don't get a call back or anything, use it as motivation to get moving again! Report Inappropriate Comment

ANIKA34 4/30/2013 12:11PM

I would love to try out for the Biggest Loser, but I don't think I could weigh in on that scale in front of everyone and on TV either, and I would probably cry everytime Jillian said something to me! Good luck! Report Inappropriate Comment

28 Days to 35! My Challenge!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A whole lot has been going on...the one consistent thing in my life has been my weight. Although, it ideally would be going down, I have gotten on the up 5, down 5 roller coaster and it's time to get off this thing.

My birthday is in 28 days. I was thinking on the plane today and a little tonight...there are changes I know I can make to get me healthier by my 35th birthday. I would LOVE to be in Onderland, but I know 16 lbs in 28 days is unrealistic. However, about 10 pounds in 28 days is a good goal! I would need to aim for about 2.5lb loss each week. I know if I really try, I can do it.

So what's stopping me?

Nothing! Today I start my challenge...To be a healthier in 28 days, before I become 35! What does that mean? I will get my exercise or 10,000 steps a day and I will eat less than 1600 calories a day. I will make the healthiest decisions I can each day, to care and be kind to myself. I will also refrain from speaking negatively or critically to myself. I will no longer tear myself down with poor self talk, but build myself up with positive, supportive thoughts and actions.

It's time, Kristi. It's time.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHELLE13 4/23/2013 11:23AM

Hey Ryder B! It's been a little more difficult than I had thought...only because I have been traveling for business the last two weeks (only home 2 days). I started a new job, while it's not ideal, it's better than where I was. I am going to try to weigh in tomorrow at WW, from my scale this morning, I've lost a pound. So, all in all, not too bad! I agree though...Food is the tough part of this whole thing. I don't mind exercising, in fact I enjoy it. It's learning to have my brain work how I want it to, rather than falling into old habits. Maybe, you just need to plan a weeks worth of meals out, go to the store and try that. It usually works for me because I like "control"! LOL! Hope your week has been going well! K~ Report Inappropriate Comment

RYDERB 4/21/2013 9:41AM

Kristi! How did your first 7 days go? I've really been struggling to stay focused and motivated, so since 80% of weight loss is suppose to be about the food, I've been reading all my favorite books trying to come up with a nutritional plan that will work for me. (and my husband since I do the cooking) The 17 day diet, (not a dirty word), the Zone, the Fresh Energy Cookbook, Practical Paleo, and guess what… I ordered another one It's called, It Starts with Food. I'm hoping it will be the last one I ever need. They have a great website, with a lot of FREE info, here's the link if you want to check it out. http://whole9life.com/2012/ 01/whole-30-v2012/ Anyway, congratulations on your 28 day challenge. Good luck! You've got this! Comment edited on: 4/21/2013 9:41:45 AM Report Inappropriate Comment

Happy Friday SP!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Have a great weekend and be sure to eat healthy and work out! ;)

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RYDERB 4/12/2013 6:46PM

Love it! Happy Friday! Have a great weekend! Report Inappropriate Comment