Tuesday, April 29, 2014
I have just looked back over my Spark pages, and realised that I have wasted so much time eating and getting fatter!
I know that when I gain weight, I get to a point where I will not get on scale, buy clothing without elasticated waists, and never look in a full length mirror - that way I can remain in denial about how big I am, and not diet. I am so hoping that this diet will be different for me than last years effort... and the year before too (where I lost weight extremely well until a family tragedy had me hurling at breakneck speed back towards chocolate, cakes and crisps!).
So... fingers crossed as I once again step into the diet whirlwind and try to gain back control of my life :)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Well, I did walk to the shopping centre with my grandaughter - but after a lot of shopping and chasing her around (it was so much fun! lol) I decided to take the bus home. By this morning, I could barely walk at all. I have an old leg injury that stopped me from walking very much years ago- I used a stick for nearly 8 years... and it's playing up again. That along with the blood blister that appeared on the bottom of my foot last week, and I'm a walking hazard! *lol* Still, I did a walk today, and curbed my calorie intake after the gluttonous (is that even a word??!!) day I had yesterday. All in all, I think I'm doing okay - but it will be the scales that determine just how well I'm doing, and I'm only weighing myself once a week now. The dreaded Monday morning weigh-in *lol*. A big difference from this to last time I dieted and weighed myself at least three times a day!
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
My legs ached today - I am SO unfit! I didn't use my trampoline today - but I did take a long-ish walk with the dog. Tomorrow I'm planning on walking to the shopping centre with my grandaughter (she wont be walking *lol*) and doing the shopping - probably walking quite briskly for at least an hour and a half. Today I've been almost good - I did snack a lot... but after I opened the Jammie Dodger biscuits, I managed not to eat any at all - yay me.
So, I feel a lot different than last time I tried to lose weight... but that's kinda good in a way - it may be more difficult, but at least it's different (no excuses of boredom). I'm trying not to get obsessive this time too - though I know it will take a lot longer to lose some weight, I'm hoping that I'll make it an easier lifestyle to stick to forever.
So, for now I'm taking it easy - just chilling out about the diet and hoping I'll not get too frustrated :)
Just got my beautiful grandaughter off to sleep, so I'm off downstairs for a bedtime drink.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Yes, it's been more than a year since I 'sparked'.
What can I say?
I have excuses... illness and suchlike - but to be honest, it's shame that stopped me coming here... shame and downright laziness.
In one year, I went from a size 8 to a size 20... and I hate it so much. I've become introverted again - staying in and almost totally agoraphobic once more. How could I have let this happen? I put on 5 stone - that's 70lb!!!
I have two wardrobes full of the most amazing clothes... and NONE of them fit any longer. I need to lose so much weight - my life is at a standstill until I can sort this out. I give myself a year to get myself back to who I want - no, who I NEED - to be. Maybe being back on here and blogging, seeing progress (or not...we'll see) will help me get back the real me.
I'm 41 years old now... maybe turning 40 was a catalyst - in a bad way - that made me feel so low and start to become lazy and fat again. In any case, I don't want to slip quietly and scared into my fifties being fat and afraid. I want to be vivacious and happy - and slim enough to enjoy my life... before it slips away.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Reading through my own spark page, I realised with a sudden jolt that I will have to change the wording very soon. I will no longer be 'almost 40'... in 13 days - I WILL be forty! I know that heading towards my 30th birthday I was a bit over-awed by it all, knowing that I wasn't in my twenties any longer - why it's such a big deal I really don't know. But forty has me in knots... Why is it so important? Why do I feel the sudden urge to blatantly lie about my age?
Ah, yes... 21 AGAIN ...
Somehow I don't think I can get away with that any longer *lol*
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