Thursday, June 30, 2011
I live in central Alberta, Canada, in Zone 4, so gradening is short-lived, but I love it. I spend all winter planning next year's garden, then prep as soon as I can. I organize when things need to be started indoors or planted outside, then make notes as to what worked or didn't. This year, I'm growing zucchini, cucumbers, bell peppers and tomatoes in large pots, potatoes and dill and strawberries in my traditional garden, peas and beans along fences, then I set up two raised beds in my front yard for the rest of my veggies and some flowers. I'm growing carrots, swiss chard, butter lettuce, romaine lettuce, cauliflower, and beets, this year, following the principles of Square Foot Gardens. I also planted a few flowers, all grown from seed. I'm proud of myself for buying seeds and starting most indoors, this year. The only plants I bought were a couple of blueberry plants.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Here's an excerpt from one of my replies on a message board:
Today, I made ratatouille in my slow cooker. I thought it was great, my 3-year-old ate it well, my picky 6-year-old grudgingly ate it, and my meat-loving hubby ate it, but didn't love it. It's mostly fresh veggies, and I found a recipe that called for chicken, so I used 2 large chicken breast halves for the whole pot.
We make our own pizza, using home-made bread dough to make the shell. The kids love it and we often make half the way "the girls" like it and half the way "the boys" like it.
We mostly eat leftovers for lunches, we seldom buy lunch meat.
We eat a lot of fruit, buying whatever is a good price.
I really enjoy raw veggies for a snack. Our kids really like raw veggies dipped in Ranch dressing. If I cut them up in the afternoon and put them on the table before supper, they disappear pretty fast. My hubby will even eat some.
We make most of our food "from scratch", including cookies, cakes, pancakes, pies and other treats.
About twice a month, when we're short on time, we make breakfast for supper. Pancakes (from scratch) & eggs, sometime bacon, turkey bacon, or sausage. Our whole family loves it!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Last Sunday, we had our son's birthday party at a bowling alley. The bowling party included hotdogs and pop for everyone. I brought a chocolate cake that I made from scratch. I ate a hotdog, two small glasses of pop, and a moderate piece of cake.
I've been eating fairly clean for long enough, that I really felt the effects of the sugar overload. I felt nauseous. I'm glad, though, because it's a good indicator that I eat right, most of the time, and a good reminder of how this much refined carbs doesn't even feel good, anymore.
I don't regret or feel guilty about what I ate. I just took note, and started getting back on the treadmill regularly, to burn off the extra calories.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Today, I'm feeling blah. I can't seem to get going. I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to crawl back into bed. I'm so tired of fighting depression. I'm so tired I want to cry. My back is stiff, my neck is stiff, my right hand is cold and numb and sore from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I'm actually afraid to let others know the true depths of how I feel. I think I'm afraid to admit it to myself. I'm not one for blogging or journalling, but I need an outlet, and hopefully this is safe. I don't know why I have depression. I just do. I have for a very long time. Some days are better, some are worse. I can usually ignore my feelings and smile through the day. I take medication, which has helped, but it's obviously not completely taking care of this. I'm not hung up on any old baggage, I have a good solid marriage, two happy, healthy kids at home, a decent job, a comfortable house. Why can't I just be happy? All day long I've been trying to talk myself into a better mood. In fact, it's been a few days of that. I have a pretty good life, I know that. I just don't feel it. For the most part, I eat well and generally live well. I'm a good person, I'm smart, I'm caring, and I love my family and friends. Why do I feel like crying? Is it guilt for not being happy in the face of so much good? I feel like I should have done so much more with my life. Like I should be doing so much more. Yet, I can barely do what little I'm doing now. I'm not doing a very good job of "fake til I make it". I guess that's only a temporary solution. If it weren't for routines, I don't think I could get anything done. I can just stumble through most days. I want to feel happy, I want to have energy, I want to feel joy. I know I can accomplish things, when I set my mind to do them, but everything just feels so damn hard. Too damn hard. I just want to hide in my bed. It's a good thing my will to live is stronger than my depression. Now my tears are really flowing. I can't even see clearly, when I do open my eyes. I'm feeling very vulnerable, right now. It about time I got honest with myself. At least I'm feeling something, not just numb. It sucks, though, and it hurts. Even my legs ache.
I hope this catharsis helps me. I know I'll be alright. I let you inside my head because maybe I won't feel so alone in my pain, and if you're in pain, then you won't feel so alone, either.
Monday, December 27, 2010
I haven't been here in awhile, but I think it's time!
In the summer, I was able to get 2.5 lbs. from goal, but that was probably with 2.5 lbs. of muscle loss because I'd stopped exercising. So, my weight has settled at 4 to 5 lbs. from goal. I've been exercising again, mostly walking outside or jogging on the treadmill.
At the beginning of December, I started to think about getting my goal weight changed. I did some soul-searching and decided that I'm not happy at this weight. But it's not the number that bothers me, it's the flab. On the other hand, I'm wearing size 4 pants! I took this topic to my TOPS Chapter meeting, and was encouraged to go to my doctor and have my goal weight increased by 5 lbs., that I can always have it lowered, later, if I need to. I couldn't even maintain the lower weight, with healthy eating and moderate exercise. My doctor was quite happy to change my goal weight. She said I probably don't have time to make weight-loss and fitness a full-time job, which is what it would take to get my weight down much further. She's very right about that!
The next Chapter Meeting after my doctor's appointment, I had lost 1.5 lbs, which put me 1 lb. under my new goal weight!! I was ecstatic! I forgot to stay standing to recite the KOPS Pledge (Keeping Off Pounds Sensibly, for those who have reached their goal weight). My Chapter mates "made" me stand and say it by myself. I felt a little self-conscience, but mostly proud!
Since last Wednesday (weigh-in day), I felt a bit like I cheated, by having my goal weight changed. I also feel like I should have changed my goal weight sooner, and I'd have become a KOPS sooner. Oh, well. Now I can focus on getting into better shape!
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