Monday, December 31, 2012
Not for myself but for my mother.
As the year ends I have a such a heavy heart, but also a renewed hope. After seeing mom today, I realized just how the cancer and the chemo has weakened her body so much, it just breaks my heart. Today was different than most days. I've never seen her this weak. I think she let her "guard" down and allowed me to see just how weak she is. She is so brave, braver than I would be. She has lost over 25 lbs in 4 months. Her taste for food is almost non-existent so she doesn't eat very much so when she does eat it's only a bite or two. Her nose bleeds every few days...a lot. She has one more treatment before her next PET scan, but l have faith in the Lord for healing and that the scan will show that the chemo is working as it did on the last one. The doctor said if it does show remarkable improvement as before, then he may start a maintenance program for every 3 months instead of every week. (Since the cancer is in her lungs, a spot on her liver and in her upper spine, the doctor said the chemo won't "cure" it, but possibly slow it down, to give her maybe 5 extra years with us, with treatment.) I know she is tired of being tired and weak. She has had such a rough time of keeping her platelets and her red & white blood counts up. She has had to have 4 units of blood as well as protein platelets and an iron infusion in the last 2-1/2 months. The Lord is good and still in the healing business. I also know He does things in His time, not mine. I pray He will give her the healing she needs as well as comfort and strength to get through this. I pray for my dad for he is the main care-giver, he too needs strength and comfort to get through this. I pray, because that's all I can do. I can't take the cancer away from my mother, if it were possible I would have already done it. I can't give her an appetite or make food taste right. I can't give her strength, but I can pray, so I do.
Praying 2013 will be a better and healthier new year for everyone!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
I'm finally on the mend from heel spurs and achilles tendonitis and now I have carpal tunnel syndrome and cubital tunnel syndrome. In both arms. Therapy won't help much, surgery is only option to help, so I have to decide "when" I've had enough pain and numbness to go through with it. Dr. said not to wait too long because waiting could lead to irreversible nerve damage. Not sure where I can schedule it in....guess I have some thinking to do.
Thursday, September 06, 2012
Had a co-worker to leave for better opportunities, although I don't blame him at all, I wish our company was trying to find his replacement, but instead, I will be responsible for those duties as well as my own. They've known for 2 weeks now and haven't tried looking yet. I'm afraid that it will be permanent and that will just stress me out. I know I will have to start working overtime, which will help my pocket book but I'm afraid it will hurt my other "bottom" line. Hopefully, knowing all this and trying to prepare and stay prepared I will make it though this rough patch...LOL. I will just have to make sure I login in each day, track everything I am able to and read and blog.
Lord help me!
I will have to make "double" sure I prepare my food the night before so I don't fall off the wagon.
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
I went to my granddaughter's bridging ceremony tonight. Yes, she actually crossed a little wooden bridge, removed her Brownie vest and received her Jr. Girl Scout vest, a daisy and candle, then stood in a circle. They each lit their candle, one by one, from their "sister" to their left until all were lit. They sang a song and then blew out their candle. It was so precious, I felt honored to be a part of it. After the ceremony, they had a reception with cakes, cookies, punch, finger sandwiches, fruit, etc. Although I could have had some grapes and strawberries, I stayed away from all of it and it didn't bother me. I was very proud of myself.
Monday, August 27, 2012
My daughter, who is vegan, made a new burger recipe: Chickpea & Rice with seasonings. It was pretty good. She added the vegan "chick-en" spice so it was sort of like a chicken patty. Although it wasn't as good as a real meat chicken patty, (I'm still a meat eater, LOL), I will eat it again. Also had some homemade crispy oven fries. Those were awesome! Those will be a favorite!
Stayed under my total calorie range today
Time to prep food for tomorrow....trying to keep planned & motivated.
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