Wednesday, July 06, 2011
I am sorry to all my sparks friends for disappearing. I am having the hardest time recovering from the last breakup and getting back on track. I am 39 days without smoking pot!! I am battling my ex over the kids and myself over my intense desire to lay or sit and be as inactive as possible, my body which insists its hungry 24/7 and the depression that feels like quick sand. So here I am, reaching out via blog. Its all I can do today. I have gained 5 pounds and am scared that number will continue to climb if I dont find some help in some form. The strong, confident, motivated lesbian we all once knew is buried beneath heart break and hopelessness. Even now I write with no desire to do so but only the desire to find a way to stop the pain I am inflicting on myself.