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Aging and Other Adventures

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

I'm not sure when it happened. It was quick. It was slow, slight, subtle. It was something that obviously crept up on me catching me off guard.

There I was standing in church after service ended with my grown son and a friend of mine named Tara. She was far along in her pregnancy and she expressed how tired she was. I found myself counseling her about taking advantage of all the rest she could possibly get remembering well how hectic a young mother's life can be once the baby comes.

She listened politely, smiling as she did and responded "Yes, Ma'am."

Say what?

Yes, Ma'am.

Really? Am I old enough to be referred with this?

Heck, I was just jamming to Evelyn King's "Shame" in the family car, blasting the speakers, bobbing and dancing behind the wheel. The car had no air conditioning, but that was alright.

When I was but a little girl, nothing would do but for me grow up. My young mind reasoned as it so often did I could do so much more beyond my parental confines. When I was ten, I joined the orchestra. When I was sixteen, I had my first solo -- full of angry butterflies in my stomach -- during the Christmas concert in high school. I wanted to bust out of my small town, so I joined the military.

I never listened to the word "can't". Why should I? Why should I be exempt from experience? Why should I cut myself off at the knee caps and not try? I'd tried many things only to enjoy the moments, things I'd never considered until I tried. Belly dancing. Martial arts. Writing. Returning to college. Competing in tournaments. Indeed, that negative only spurred me on towards the things I'd been told I could not do.

And the funny thing is when I share my amazement on how I did any marvelous thing, my friends ceased being surprised. Indeed, they've come to expect my outgoingness spurs me on towards the next thing. Perhaps my inner flamboyance have something to do with it.

"When" I'd been asked "will it be enough?"

"Never" I 'd often respond flippantly. I never could understand how a person could not be "more", not press beyond boundaries once in a while. Even now, I am often quizzed as to "why". I am grown, doggone it. I can do what I want to do.

That's not to say this three-hour journey hasn't tossed me around and shipwrecked on various islands, some I lived on for years in order for me to heal, to learn, and to reflect. Living any length of time will do it. If anything, I am not slowing up in my desire to experience more. Maybe I'll be a Grande dame on stage. Maybe I'll write a novel and two people will buy it. Maybe I will become that 4th degree Black Belt in December. I find my life is not influenced by my weight as much as my determination. Why should I cease because I am a few decades heavier? Regardless of my full face and even fuller body, I have a twinkle in my eyes. This aging expedition is one that occasionally singes me like Icarus getting too close to the sun, but it's one of continuous beauty and intrigue.

Ceasing is not an option. Time for that bright red lipstick while I'm walking in the sun! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEANNETTE59 10/21/2014 4:04PM

  Like fine wine, we improve with age emoticon

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CAPTAINMORGAN2 10/21/2014 11:26AM

    i just read your blog and the message in my mail box. I am 73 and have many regrets and many good memories and bad ones as well. My husband had an attack of shingles that went into his only good eye. We thought it was gone only to come back and cause scar tissue on the cornea and leave him legally blind. We have been doctoring for nearly a year out of town between 3 eye clinics. It seems I have been a care tacker for family many times. My point is that i keep putting myself aside for my husband's care and yesterday I decided -no more. .i have been thinking about exercise etc. but never getting to it while giving my husband his meds and taking care of Brandy, our female chocolate lab puppy. Well, she will be 2 in Dec. and needs to lose weight. Anyway, yesterday I started using all the Spark videos I have saved, faithfully tracking etc. I am so close to my goal but have not really gone after that goal. I regret not going back to college, young love is blind, but yesterday I decided it is time to stop doing just for others but to do for myself and your message in my mail box has encouraged me to "go for it" no matter what else I have to do. thank you. , you are a very strong person !! Georgine

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JITZUROE 10/21/2014 10:58AM

    NEVER STOP! NEVER GIVE IN! - it seems that this is your life mantra. I love it.
Yes, it's never enough, no matter what the topic. Gotta keep striving for more more more. Because there is so much out there just waiting for you! Can't be complacent like too many others are in life.

I giggled at the 'mam' comment. Trust me, she called you that out of respect, and no doubt because you were still at church. you're definitely NOT the 'mam' type of gal who needs assistance to walk or a reminder as to what day it is. No no, not YOU!

You are a beautiful warrior! Keep up the fight for more each day. It's so motivational to see... : )

Bren

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One moment in time

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

I was dressing to take a walk when my 10-year-old pup, Kovu began whining. I sighed. I swore to myself I wouldn't take him because he slows me up by sniffing, sprinkling, and stopping. Of course, as I was staring into his big brown eyes, I grabbed his leash and out the door we went.

The day was beautiful yet muggy, a typical Carolina summer morning. Three Dog Night crooned about old-fashioned love songs. Gladys Knight went on and one. Eddie LeVert and his woman cried together.

Kovu stopped every few feet. I tugged and huffed, coaxing him along. Soon, mistress and dog merged into a shared rhythm along the sidewalk. After the first hill, my pace was assured.

Then sang Whitney Houston. I smiled. I began dancing around as I walked. I didn't care who saw me.

I mused as I thought of high school. College graduation (at 49 years of age). The birth of my sons. Their graduations. Football games. Each black belt I earned. My first 10-K. Sitting on the beach as the ocean waves mesmerize me. My first published work. Singing on stage. My elder's Marine graduation. My own boot camp. Yelling at the top of my lungs "just because". The echoes of my sons telling me I can do "anything".

I know I can do anything!

My heart swelled with expectation. My pace quickened as Kovu panted by my side. I was smiling. I was enjoying myself.

It was during this moment I came to realize I gained the elusive emotion of motivation. Each adventure, each experience, each completed trial bought me joy. I didn't fret about body size. I wasn't worried about what anyone thought or believed. I had sweated, cried over, and pumped my arms in victory over each cobblestone of my journey. I continue to follow my own path.

As long as I have breath in my body, there is absolutely nothing I cannot accomplish. Sure, there will be periods of doubt, times I won't "want to do", meandering of "what is the point of it all".

As long as I don't give up, I won't fail!





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONFIDENTLYFIT 8/27/2014 5:17PM

    Loved this!

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TIMEHASCOME56 8/25/2014 8:59AM

    emoticon

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MARYBETH4884 8/11/2014 6:18PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon You are spreading the motivation!! Thanks!!! emoticon

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IGNITEME101 8/11/2014 12:41PM

    Excellent! Thank you for sharing your journey with us!

Della

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BETHEUNICORN 8/6/2014 11:14PM

    Great blog! emoticon

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JEANNETTE59 8/6/2014 12:44PM

  emoticon Loving it! emoticon

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4ANEWME2DAY 8/6/2014 12:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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As I was working out ..

Monday, July 28, 2014

Yesterday afternoon was pretty typical around my house. Hubby and son were in their respective rooms. I was in my den doing a DVD. I was really getting into it, my grunts sounding very much like bedroom noises.

The phone rang. Company coming over, hubby said.

Well, OK. I was doing my thing with no desire to stop anything.

A few moments later, our friends came in. Their voices wafted down the hallway.

"Where's Claudelle?"

"No, no, no!" I'm thinking. I had to chuckle. I would always get so annoyed when I was interrupted in the middle of my workout. I wanted to stay mentally in my zone.

But it wasn't to be. My friend and her daughters entered the den, smiling, asking "what I was doing"

Wasn't it obvious?

I paused the DVD, not wanting to be impolite but itching to return to business. Sweat was running down my face, my body. Kovu was laying next to my step. My weighed were scattered across the floor.

"So. Is this Crossfit?" my friend asked.

"No" I hoped my annoyance wasn't obvious. "It's Les Mills."

"Oh" she smiled.

A flashing neon-signed "jealousy" pulsed across my forehead as I studied her shapely form. She was stunning! Her firm body, a perfect sized 8, was effortless. She was a runner, doing it a few times a week. It wasn't long ago she was struggling with her weight, but it appeared she conquered the overweight demon. My 7-pound loss paled in comparison.

I paused the DVD again. Kovu sighed. I sighed.

"Don't y'all see what I'm trying to do?"

"Aunt Claudelle. Look at my tan line." My goddaughter worked as a lifeguard for the nearest YMCA. Sun glistened across her brown skin.

"Aunt Claudelle. Do you have my flash drive?" My other niece was a writer and wanted me to read her work. I reached for it on my desk and handed it to her.

This was SO MUCH like the old days. How I hated to be interrupted! Perhaps I was really on the right track.

Should I make them go up to the living room with my family? Should I just chuck the workout? I was in a quandary. The DVD began again. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and pressed stop. I turned off the TV and motioned for them to go to the front of the house.

Dang! I should've started earlier.

Later, husband stated I could just pick up where I left off. But it was 10 p.m. Too close to bedtime for me to finish where I left off.

I hunkered down to watch "True Blood". I have Monday morning of quiet to do what I wanted to do. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LARABY34 8/17/2014 2:50AM

    You are an amazing story teller. I was hoping for a happy ending but I guess that's the way that life goes. Remember that you friend didn't walk out the door with a struggle of her own and then walk back in 5 minutes latter with a lovely size 8. She had to go through her own personal bs too so good for her! You will be making someone else feel that way someday soon but the difference will be that you will empathize and say "finish your workout and we'll be here when your done..you go girl!"

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SARA-SMILE 7/30/2014 5:30AM

    Oh, I hate being interrupted when I'm working out too! I go as far as putting a sign on the door knob, "workout in progress" so my boys won't bother me! emoticon I hope you got your "me time" the next day! emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/30/2014 5:30:47 AM

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JEANNETTE59 7/28/2014 11:55AM

  I hear you, pop-in visitors can make me want to emoticon, but I don't. Whether it's a workout, cleaning the house or something else you wanted to accomplish, it will be right there waiting for you.
So enjoy your family and friends when the drop by and maybe drop a little hint. You could say something like, wow I'm really proud of myself I've set-up a workout schedule. Then excitedly tell them the days and times. It's worth a try emoticon emoticon

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_RAMONA 7/28/2014 11:34AM

    I hope this morning is turning out as you hoped it would!

I so feel your frustration... I found myself asking the same questions this week: what is a good enough reason to abandon my plan for better health and fitness? How can I respond to unexpected demands upon me and my time, AND get what I need? I have no clear answers yet, but I've always found that at least asking the questions moves me forward.

I've made a commitment to 'streaking' and just two days in, spontaneous interruptions were trying to derail me. My conclusion for myself is that I have to keep my goals/process doable no mater what (consistent, but of short duration), so that even when distracted and interrupted, I can honour my truth without becoming overwhelmed and feeling discouraged.

I think you need to give yourself credit for what you did accomplish (and for what you learned), rather than being hard on yourself for what went undone. Even if you didn't finish the workout, you were faithful to your commitment to do it, and you did what you could (and guarding your sleep is as important as anything else). That's HUGE... that's the foundation for the rest.

emoticon

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Bring Sally Up - Squats

Saturday, July 05, 2014

My firstborn came home from Pensacola, FL for the weekend. He went to You Tube to show me this squat challenge. Not only was the music kicking, but he, his brother and I did this. I petered out after a minute. Fascinated, I am determined to do this three times a week.

After my thirty-minute walk, I made it two minutes. (I was sore from that minutes I did yesterday!) There are many variations I can do--squats, crunches, push ups--so much so I can mix it up and vary it.

Eventually I hope to build up to weighed squats.

Sure pays to have a Marine Corps son! emoticon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CswK
7e_Bep8

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WENDYSPARKS 7/16/2014 9:53AM

    emoticon

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JEANNETTE59 7/15/2014 1:57PM

  emoticon emoticon

Thanks for the Spark Mail! I think you would really like the Rescued and Adopted Pets Team......check it out.

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_RAMONA 7/14/2014 12:21PM

    I'm going to try this! THANK YOU!

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}


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CIERAPOET 7/9/2014 8:11PM

    emoticon I'm going to have to check this out later on this evening. Have strength to do today. Thank you for sharing this! emoticon
Blessings!
Deb
emoticon emoticon

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BABY_GIRL69 7/8/2014 6:10PM

    Ouch!! Who told your son to find Sally?!! lol This is really cool but you have to hold the position...ugh!!

God bless & thanks for sharing...NOT! lol

Dee

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GOLFGMA 7/6/2014 6:51AM

    Sounds like a great challenge! emoticon

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SOOKIE 7/5/2014 9:12PM

    That is a fun song to do squats (or any other fit move to). Keep at it!



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Doing my be under duress

Wednesday, June 18, 2014



This morning I woke up in a funk. Teary. Sad. Depressed. After watching some TV I rose up and made myself some breakfast and wandered into my den. My eyes dropped to the corner of my screen.

June 18, 2014.

Today is what would've been my dad's 86th birthday.

I sobbed.

When you're still in a grieving process, it's easy to tell yourself to "stop it" or "cut it out" or so many other cutting comments to make yourself braver. Truth be known, if you have loved anyone a colossal length of time, periods of sorrow will creep upon you at any given moment. Along with tears are those periods of laughter and happy remembrance.

My dad was wise, spiritual, and comical. One of my sisters told me I had him the longest and this is why I get like this.

I've been weaning off my meds for about a month now and I'd been doing fairly well. As much as I want to blame it on the lack of pharmaceuticals, it would not be true.

I simply miss my dad.

Tears do take a lot out of me, but I do well if I let the grief run its course. Then I can continue with life.

Heading to the Y is jus the thing I need.

Moving.

Forward.

Now.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_RAMONA 7/14/2014 12:20PM

    emoticon
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BABY_GIRL69 6/19/2014 6:09PM

    You know your dad always with you.... I loved my mom & I can talk with her anytime. Knowing that we had the times we did give me loads of comfort and knowing she isn't suffering or hurting any longer....

God bless & be encouraged!!

Dee

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LYNN-I-CAN2 6/18/2014 4:57PM

    You know, I stop looking at the losses of love ones as a negative. Now I see it for what it is....a blessing. Itís a new chapter in their spiritual lives; they are now on the other side cheering us on as we work our journey through God and Jesus Christ so we can join them on the other side. I havenít lost a parent, but I have lost my grandmother, uncles and aunts who stepped in to parent, and sometimes I stop and remember the fun times with them, and the lessons they taught me. I think as I walk my journey. What would they do in this moment? They would laugh, cut a rug with some of those fancy loose steps and shake depression loose. I'm wishing you the best today. Have a wonderful hump-day! Celebrate the life don't grieve too long, but celebrate.

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