Monday, January 14, 2013
It's a new year and I'm still obese. There. I said it. That dreaded word that everyone always tries to avoid. Overweight, chubby chunky, even fat, seems less serious than that obese. Such a clinical term, it always reminds me of doctors and diseases. But i am obese. I have been for many years. I've told myself i was going to change and lose weight. And I've succeeded a few times. Some times 5 pounds, sometimes 25 but I would always give up and gain it all back, Slowly i would claw my way to a smaller size, only to gain it all back over the course of a few weeks. I always seem to stop at the same weight: 207 pounds. Not a good number for a woman of my height,
So here I am again, trying to all over again. I know what to do to be successful. I know about portion sizes and nutrition. I know how to workout. I know I can do it because I have done it before. I also know that I've failed before. Many times. I could be discouraged by this. Instead I see it like I have a lot of practice. I have the tools I need to do it. I can look at why I failed in the past and learn from those experiences. Here some things that I recognize as my past problem areas:
1) Lying to myself: trying to justify things to myself like "I can't really workout today" or "A little bit won't hurt" are good examples. I need to be accountable for everything I do.
2) I'm emotional eater. I eat when I'm bored, sad or happy. I need to recognize when I'm actually hungry and when I'm just trying to shove my feeling down with food.
3) I'm a sugar addict. I find it really hard to eat just a little bit. I have to avoid sugar, especially early in the day.
4) I tend to not eat much all day then eat all evening. In the past when I made an effort to eat earlier, I still ate the same amount in the evening, resulting in a constant calorie struggle. I need to break my evening snacking habit once and for all. I'm going to do this by staying busy,
5) I focus too much on results. I need to stop basing my success solely on the scale. I seem to be a slow loser and that's okay but it does make it difficult for me to stay focused and motivated. More recently, I've been more concerned about my health. This gives me a new focus to my efforts. Even if I don't see any movement on the scale, I can still feel good about the healthy things I am doing for my body,
I'm not sure if this will be the last time I try to lose weight, I hope it is. But if it isn't, I hope I never stop trying. My health too important not to.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
I can't count how many times I've began again. Starting the journey is easy. You get fed up, and you vow to change your ways. You are absolutely brimming with motivation. This is it! You're going to do it! You begin to overhaul everything. You swear to yourself, "This time I'm going to do it! I'm going to only eat healthy food and exercise everyday!" And you throw yourself into everything full force, strictly watching everything you eat and working out like a demon. But before you know it, you are back to where you started, sitting on the couch, stuffing your face with your food drug of choice. What happened? Where did all of that enthusiasm and motivation go to?
This is the problem I have every time I embark on a weight loss plan. I let my enthusiasm get the better of me and plan to do absolutely everything right from the get-go. And after an (usually very short) period of time, I get burnt out and start to slip. In my world, slipping is failure. This is translated in my head as "well I already screwed that up so I might as well give up". Then I proceed to eat anything made of sugar located in my general vicinity. Like a vacuum. Just like that all my hardwork is undone. Even weeks of weight loss can be erased over the course of a few really, really, bad days.
With all that said, I'm going to take a different approach this year. Instead of focusing on the big picture (ie. where I would ideally like to be in terms of health, fitness, diet, weight, etc), I'm going to focus on changing small habits. Each month I'll have a couple smaller goals which contribute to my overall goal. This method is going to be beneficial for a few different reasons.
1. Smaller changes are easier. Sad to say, but I'm lazy when it comes to things I don't want to do. By making my goals easier, I'll be more likely to stick with them. Which leads to...
2. If I can stick with it long enough, I'll be able to make it into a habit. Then it won't matter that I don't like it, I'll just do it. This is the goal!
3. Even if I lose interest along the way, I'll still have adopted some (albeit small) good habits so the whole thing isn't a complete loss. I'll still be slightly better than I was before. And isn't that the goal of life! :)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
When I last wrote on here last week, I said that I was only talking baby steps. I hadn't really been doing any of the things I set out to do. Despite that fact, I still managed to lose 1.6lbs. Cutting out alcohol has made losing the first 5 pounds quite easy. Hopefully thats a trend that will continue. I have been making an effort to track everything since I weighed in yesterday and I'm going to keep trying. In the past I would give up if I wasn't doing everything exactly as I set out to do. Now, I'm just trying to go day-by-day and improve my habits over the long run. I've been walking to and from work which gives me about 45 minutes exercise daily and I make sure I only bring healthy snacks with me. This has prevented the mindless snacking I used to do at home during the day by myself. I haven't had much of an appetite lately anyways but the body could definitely use the exercise.
Hopefully I'll be able to stay on track this week and begin and maintain healthy, new habits.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Like many other people, I started this year with big dreams and high hopes for what I would accomplish this year. Just like every other year, I vowed to to change all aspects of my life that I don't like. This included losing 60 pounds, exercising consistently and finding fulfilling work. All of these things are great goals but again, like every other year, I failed basically before I started. Only a week into the new year, I found out my mother has cancer. It hit me hard and I'm still reeling from the news. I know its a cliche but you never expect it to me you. Or more correctly for me, I expect it to be me, just not someone I love.
Learning such terrible news so soon after committing myself to making my life better kind of took the wind out of my sails. I lost motivation and stopped doing any of the new behaviors I wanted to embrace this year. I felt more lost than ever before. That brings us to today. I don't know what it was but I finally feel like my interest and motivation to create a healthier me is coming out once again. I'm going to harness that energy and put it down here to look on later.
so, future Laura, LISTEN UP! YOU CAN DO THIS!
STOP DOUBTING YOURSELF AND CELEBRATE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS!
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOUR HEALTH AND THAT THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE!
Here's to me! Always ready to try again.
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