Thursday, December 08, 2011
I know I should be thankful. I know I should be patient. It takes time to get used to new things. It's just that it's been 5 weeks since my dh started this new job, and he's been working so much overtime that I hardly ever see him.
I've about given up trying to track my food because every day I can't keep on track. I'm not eating enough veggies or fruit any more. I just don't want to. I'm tired of taking my lunch to work and rewarming something we had the day before, or something that had been cooked at the beginning of the week. My work offers free lunch, and some times it's not half bad, but I know it's loaded with salt and fat most of the time. But it's fresh food, not rewarmed food.
I've also about given up going to the gym as often as I had been. I just don't like going alone and with as much as he's working, I'm pretty much alone every time I go. Or I'll just get there and he's already been working out and is ready to head home.
I keep telling myself that it will get better, but I don't see when or how it will get better. I keep telling myself that I'll get used to this, but it's tough going to work by myself when we used to drive together. It's tough only seeing him at bed time and not having the time to really talk about what's going on in our lives because he's so exhausted that all he wants to do is go to sleep. And our love life is non existant. There's just no time any more. No time to do anything that I want to do, no time to do anything with him.
I'm feeling sorry for myself and I can't help it. And I know I'm whining. I just want things to go back the way they were. That's forever changed though. He can't go back to his last job since they don't have the work to keep them busy and they won't upgrade the business to be competitive.
I should be thankful that he found a job almost right away. I know this and I'll keep praying about it.
Thanks for reading. It helps to get this off my chest.