Thursday, July 28, 2011
I'm making my way through "The Spark". I'm starting off so slow, but I'm going to do it this time. I have the support, I have the motivation. I cannot fail. I'm tired of this "Me", and the healthy, skinnier ME is in here some where, screaming it's time to come out.
So here it is...my before picture. In a year, this person is not going to exist. She is going to be thinner, healthier, filled with energy. She won't wince when looking at pictures of herself. She's going to smile and say "Hey! Check out that sexilicious chickie!"
So Good bye, person in that picture. It's time to make the cover as awesome as the book.
Monday, July 25, 2011
We all know that deprivation diets are bad. And yet that's what my doctor has asked me to do. A deprivation diet- No breads, no sugars, nothing with flour...no pasta, no rice, no corn, no potatoes, no splenda or other artificial sweeteners...no no no no no no no no no.
My gut feeling is that this is all wrong. I can't get rid of this gut feeling. I don't think it's healthy. So I don't know what I should do.
I think moderation is the key. Yes, I think I could get rid of most of the white stuff- white flour, white sugar, white rice...but to not even be able to go to a healthy alternative...I think bread is important! I think whole grains are important. I don't think I should be eliminating them, I should be reducing them.
And I wouldn't think that this is all weird but for some reason fruit is ok. Now don't get me wrong, that's a plus if I have to look at it from a positive perspective. But how is eating fruit different from eating a whole grain bread. They both have sugars. I just don't get any of it.
I'm debating. A part of me thinks I should just shut up and do what the doctor says. Can it hurt to just try? (Yes.) But a bigger part of me says that I should do what I think is best, and that's an overall healthy change. Reduce the stuff that affects my blood sugar, but don't eliminate it completely.
I feel that if I focus on the weight loss from a moderation lifestyle, I'm going to succeed. If I focus on losing weight on a deprivation diet like the one the doctor suggested, I'm going to fail. I'd rather succeed. I honestly believe that if I lost 20 lbs, my numbers would go down no matter what I did. If I lose 50 lbs, my numbers would get even better. If I dropped 100...maybe the diabetes woud be reversed. I don't know, but I do know that if I sit here and focus on what I can't eat, what I see my friends and my family eat...I'm going to be resentful, deprived and I will fail.
So I think the answer is right there in front of me. I'm not doing this deprivation diet, and if the doctor wants to drop me, that's fine. I'm still going to lose weight, and my sugars are still going to get better, as long as I stick with moderation. Weight loss and exercise are going to be the weapons pick in this battle. I will walk out of this stronger, fitter, and healthier.
Monday, July 18, 2011
So I am officially a Type 2 diabetic. (My A1C was 6.8, and Insulin 17.7.) And I don't know what to do.
I went to the doctors, and expected her to give a recommendation to see a dietician. I expected either Metformin, or Insulin. I expected glucometers, and information on diabetes and care, treatment options.
I got none of that. I got a spiel on eliminating most carbs, in particular flours, sugars, breads, pasta, rice, etc. I got a 4 page pamphlet on the "Mediterranean Low carb/glycemic index diet load." I got told to exercise (ok, so that part was good advice). I was told to be strict, 3-4 months, and come back with more blood tests in October and we'd go from there. She wanted to send me to a dietician, but claimed the ones around here were "limited" as they'd just tell me to count carbs and use Splenda, which I guess I'm not supposed to do.
Am I wrong for being uncomfortable with all of this? Is this woman a quack, or is she right? Should I be seeking a different doctor? The only positive I see to all of this is she seems to think the diabetes was reversible at this point, whereas I thought that was just a myth.
So what should I do? Do I give this whole "glycemic index" diet thing a try, against my better judgement? It seems like it's against the spirit of the Spark too. She said not to calorie count, not to carb count. I'd be eliminating carbs, which Spark says not to do. It even seems to be against what the American Diabetes Association says. While I have no problem with not getting on medication, I guess I need to feel like this is the safe way to proceed.
Friday, July 15, 2011
I turned 33 today. For my birthday, I got blood work and a probably diagnosis of Diabetes. Talk about a time for reflection, and a time for change. I know it'll be ok, and with the support of my loving husband, and beautiful family, I'll succeed at making the changes I need to make. I have informed myself, particularly the part of me that loves to sulk, that I will not get down about this. This is the push (well, closer to the shove, slam and shatter) I need to make some positive changes in my life.
And when all is said and done, it's going to make me feel so much better, instead of the constant pain, depression and sickness I feel now.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Changes have to be made. Big changes. Life changes. I have no choice anymore, unless I want to be sick. It's not going to be fun, in fact, it's going to be really hard, but I am going to have to put on a brave face and do what I have to do. I don't know exactly how to proceed right now, I guess that'll come when I meet with the doctor. For now, I'm just going to have to keep putting it in my head how important these changes will be.
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