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SHANFANNIN's Recent Blog Entries
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Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Ok...my father-in-law left my mom-in-law of 41 years in August. She came home from work one day and he told her: "I have been unhappy for 5 years. I leased a house for 6 months and I moving out tomorrow." She was devastated. My husband, son, and I were in shock. My sister-in-law freaked out. It was not a good scene.
Over the last 4 months, my mom & sister-in-law have listened to my father-in-law say how everything is great now, etc. He has a 4 bedroom house, took out a $40,000 business loan so he could have a mall kiosk, and is "doing great". He insists that my husband and I are "not supporting him". We have both tried to talk to him (I did on the phone for over an hour & my husband went out to dinner with him). We have told him how much we love him. We have told him that we think he made a HUGE mistake. We want him to work things out with my mom-in-law and COME HOME!
He didn't come to Thanksgiving dinner. Even though he was called several times. He told my mom-in-law that he didn't want a "confrontation" at Thanksgiving so he didn't want to go. Everyone was upset about it.
Early last week, my mom-in-law called and said: "You need to send Dad an invitation for Christmas. He feels like he is not being included. He said that he didn't get a written invitation, so he feels like he is not invited". Our family is VERY RELAXED for Christmas. Everyone knows (family & friends) that they can come and go from our house on the holidays. We always have games and laughter going at our home. THAT is what Christmas is about. Celebrating Jesus' birth with family and friends. So...I sent ALL of our family & friends an invitation for breakfast/games/dinner for Christmas. That way, no one would feel left out.
My sister-in-law called me tonight saying that she & her husband would be here for Christmas morning, but not for dinner. Why not, I asked. "Well, we are going out to dinner with Dad." I must admit it, I COMPLETELY lost it on the phone. I am embarrassed to say that I was yelling because I was so upset. My sister-in-law got upset with me. Apparently, my father-in-law has been telling her that my husband & I are the bad guys and don't want him around. *sigh*
The thing is, when someone is having marital problems, it isn't our business to butt in. You know? My father-in-law said he hadn't been happy for 5 years. He never came to my husband (40 years old..not a kid...) or asked my mom-in-law for counselling. He just moved out. They talk on the phone many times daily & go out on dates. My husband and I have told them both that we love them and want things to work out. Come on! They have been married for 41 years!
So...my father-in-law is telling family that he doesn't feel included and pretty much that my husband & I are not supporting his decision to leave his wife. Well, we don't support that. We never will. You just don't leave someone like that. My father-in-law has been to war, he has lost numerous jobs, had epilepsy, and has been disabled for years and years. Most of the family is convinced that he is bi-polar (one minute happy, the next minute screaming at people - including our 12 year old son). He has been a mess and through it all, my mom-in-law has loved and been there for him. My husband & I can't support his decision to leave her after the love she has given him.
So...I am typing this depressed and slightly angry. I went through a very nasty divorce with my own parents when I was 12. I am tired of people not loving one another. My husband & I have told my father-in-law that although we don't think he made the right decision, we still love him & want him in our/our son's life.
The saddest part of all, this man was a Baptist minister for 20+ years. He knows that you don't walk away from your faith or family. I soooo wish he would understand that we haven't changed, he has.
I am praying that things get better. Christmas is about faith, family, & friends. Not blaming others when you should take responsibility for your own actions. You know? 'Tis the season.... No wonder our retired police officer friend hates the holidays. It brings out yucky stuff like this sometimes. Dad...we just want you back in our lives. It is pretty simple. Mom loves you. We love you. Stop being an idiot!
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Race time for Decker Half Marathon (13.1 miles): 2:07:39
My mother-in-law asked me on Friday: "Are you running the Decker Half?" I told her yes, and she said: "Well, I heard that it is the toughest race of the year as it is full of hills." Hmm....that made me a bit nervous.
I ran 10 miles at 5:30 am on Saturday morning. Saturday was my husband's 38th birthday, and we had quite a bit planned. We went antique shopping (Wimberly, TX) and had a huge barbecue dinner at my husband's favorite restaurant (Salt Lick in Driftwood, TX). We ran lots of errands and got a Christmas tree before finally getting home at 7pm. I really should have taken a nap, but I didn't want to ruin my husband's birthday. We always have such a fun day on his birthday. Lots to do!
I was excited about the race, although apprehensive about the hills. The weather was crisp, but clear. I had a close-to-tears moment at the starting line. I don't know why, but I was just glad to be around all these amazing runners and proving something. I felt like a true, honest to goodness RUNNER. It was wonderful! We started promptly at 8am, just as the sun was shining fully. The hills started to really kick in on mile 3. Wow....the hills. The rumors were true. This race was TOUGH.
As I was finishing the insane vertical hill on Mile 5, I felt that the race officials should have provided suction cups along with a race t-shirt. Believe me, the hill was so steep that I almost needed some. Unlike Mile 10, it wasn't very long. Mile 10 was one of those hills where your thighs scream for a rest. It just kept going, and going, and going. Up, Up, and Away. I had to pull out an energy bar towards the top. My legs were screaming for more "umpf".
All in all, it was a good race. I had to do some speed walking on Mile 8 (hill), and Mile 11 (will the hills ever end?). If I hadn't walked that bit, I know that I would have done better with my time. However, I am usually a 10 min./mile runner, so I was just under that for the entire half marathon. Not bad.
One more thing about the race, I kept passing/being passed by a boy about 12 or 13 years old. He was running the entire half marathon by himself. I was amazed! The last time I passed him was on Mile 8. I ran along side him and said: "You go, guy! You are doing fantastic!" He looked at me and said: "Thanks, but I am starting to really get tired." I hear ya, kid. I really do. I hope he had a huge crowd cheering him at the end. He deserved every applause. Way to go, kiddo!
I have a 20 miler scheduled for this Saturday. My second one this training season. I have NEVER run as many miles in training as I am this time around. I am so proud of myself for sticking with it. I have only missed 2 runs since August. That isn't bad.
I did get a compliment from my husband yesterday. I had FINALLY gotten into a pair of size 8 jeans and was telling my husband that I was glad about it. He looked at me and said: "Babe, I can tell. You are looking good. I can really tell you are working out." Ahhhh....gotta love hearing that from my husband of almost 19 years. Nothing like feeling sexy and hearing it from the man you love.
My Walt Disney World Goofy Races (half Sat./full marathon Sun.) are in 5 weeks now. Those are my next big races. After that is the 3M Half and the AT&T Marathon. Train Shan, and concentrate. YOU CAN DO THIS!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
*Shan doing the Happy Dance*
I logged in 200.89 miles in November. All of those except the 2.97 miles walked today, were runs. My Spark Fitness said that I burned over 7200 calories last week through exercise. Woohooo! I am feeling GREAT!
Bring on the Decker Half, Goofy Half/Full, 3M Half, and AT&T Marathons. I AM READY!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
Yo, that is absolutely AWESOME! That has got to feel good. I am nowhere near marathon running at all, shoot, I can't even walk up the flight of stairs from the PATCO speedline without taking a breathing break...but it is a dream of mine to do what you just did. You are an inspiration and I am proud of you...
