Friday, June 27, 2014
I am turning 25 on Sunday and for some reason that somewhat depressed me today and made me reflect. I felt depressed today am clawing my way out of it. I am not where I thought I would be but I am so, so happy. However, I need to get control of my health again.
Back in March I met such an amazing guy. The first night we hung out we talked at a diner until 3 in the morning and we both knew that we wanted something more.... I made him wait a month until he could ask me to be his gal though. And he waited!! He is huge into health and is a nutrition coach through a health company and loves working out. He told me from day one that he didn't care if I never worked out and that he liked me for me. I like working out though and at that time was planning on going to another gym and one night my friend who was supposed to go to the gym with me canceled so he asked me if I wanted to work out with him. I said yes but started freaking out on the way home. I didn't want him to see me sweating and see me get tired. I decided that if I wanted to eventually be in a relationship with this guy then I have to be vulnerable sometimes. It was one of the best workouts and most fun I have had in a gym. We have had many workouts since with many more to come.
The other day I asked my, now, boyfriend to train me for a 5k that I am going to do in September. I went over to his house the first morning that we were going to jog and he sat down and asked me, "Why?" He wanted to know why I wanted to jog and eventually run. I didn't have an answer. I hate jogging. I hate running. After a long conversation we decided to go on a walk. Jogging is not something I enjoy. He pointed out that I am active. I play with the kids I care for, go on walks, hike and work out. I feel very blessed to have such a wonderful guy in my life to push where I need to be pushed and point out when I am pushing my self to hard and far.
I am having some problems with my self control and motivation. Since I have met my Charming I have been staying up a lot later because half of the time he doesn't get off until midnight. Even when he gets off earlier we hang out until late. When I get home or he leaves it has been hours since I have eaten and I realize I am hungry and then eat.... a lot. I also haven't been working out as often. My workouts are more intense but not as frequent. I also have been eating more throughout the day.
The goals that I am going to focus on are being fit for my upcoming trips. I am going to meet my boyfriends family in August and his mom wants to go on a 7 mile hike. AW! I can do this. The next thing up is my 5k. I know I can do this but I want to do it in a good time. The last big trip is to Disneyland! I want to be fit for all of these things. I need to build my endurance and I want to feel healthier. Now... how am I going to do this?
First thing, I am going to spend more time with God. Second thing, I am going to give myself alone time. Third thing, I am going to get back to exercising at least 15 minutes a day. Fourth thing, I am going to make more things from scratch and eat more veggies and fruit instead of snacky food.
This is my life and I am the only one who can make changes. I am the only one who can actually get up and exercise. I am the only one who puts food in my mouth. I am the only one who can open my Bible. I am the only one who can separate myself from everyone and have alone time. This is my life, I am in charge! I will make make these changes.