Thursday, August 28, 2014
I enrolled at Ashford University again, instead of going to the local college who had me down for 6 classes, my first semester. I much prefer the one-class-at-a-time scenario over the traditional style of learning. I'm going to be studying Applied Behavioral Science and I'm hoping these next 4 years go by fast.
I went and got a new, free interviewing outfit from Dress for Success out of Cincinnati. I may have to pick up a part-time job soon, depending on how our money situation flies, and they hooked me up with slacks, two shirts, a blazer, a necklace, a pair of dress shoes, and a purse. They also fed us lunch. The brownies were awesome... which leads me to my next topic.
Folks, I'm about to smack myself upside the head a few times if I don't get a grip on my eating habits! My weight has skyrocketed again, and I have no one to blame but me. We're talking, I'm fewer than 10 pounds away from 300 again. That's just ridiculous for me! I have no valid reason for why I have allowed myself to obviously continue eating more, much more than I should. I need an intervention!
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Sleep? I'm not quite sure if I know what that is anymore. I swear I will lay down and fall asleep, but within 1-2 hours I wake up, fully awake! My psychiatrist is a gimp because he seems to think that Trazodone is the only medication available to help with sleep. All he does is he continues to increase my dosage for that instead of trying something else. Oh well... by the end of next week, I should be on a schedule again, so that may help.
Hugs go out to my dearest friend, Amy, who has recently been united with someone she loves very much! I swear I will make a road trip down to Houston one of these days/months/years (hopefully not years).
Monday, I start school again. This time it's going to be very challenging for me because they're starting me out with 6 classes my first semester. But at least I will be back in a classroom instead of trying to kill myself--I mean, do tons of writing with how the online classes were.
Okay, that was fun. I must go now because I'm starting to dream while I'm awake, literally. I just almost got up to go get my infant son to change his poopy diaper, yet I don't have any babies, let alone any kids living with me. I really hope I'm not turning psychotic or anything! But this has been happening more and more, where my dreams start flirting with my conscious life and I have to do a major reality check sometimes just to make sure there isn't anything out there with my name on it that I don't know about.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
A few days ago, my psychiatrist prescribed Adderall XR to me to help me pay attention and be able to focus in class. I can tell already, even on my low starting dose, that my appetite is waning! I know they say ADHD medications tend to cause weight loss, so this will be awesome if it helps me lose weight, too.
Last night, I picked up a free, used mountain bike from a nice gal who offered it to me in a group on Facebook! I'm scared to ride it, though. Do big people get made fun of when they're seen riding a bike? Also, is it the law to wear a helmet while riding? I sure hope not!
Today, I picked up a HUGE garbage bag filled to the brim with free clothes for me! They were from another nice lady on Facebook. Some of the clothes are a bit snug, but they will just give me incentive to lose weight.
Feeling blessed is how I've been feeling recently, even having a broken nose and two black eyes can't keep me from feeling like the Big Man in Heaven is taking care of me!
Friday, August 08, 2014
Today I'm beginning my prep do be able to walk a 5K in 5 weeks. I am too big and too out of shape to try running it, so walking it will still be more than I've ever done before. I wish I had someone to do this with, especially if it was my boyfriend or even a local sparker. But I will be brave and go it alone!
Monday, August 04, 2014
What I'm about to say will make it believable that I lack any willpower. June 30th I weighed 270 pounds. Today I weigh 293! I know where I've gone wrong, too. I was eating junk, and eating junk, and eating more junk for the past month. And I'm not exaggerating! Mixing-size bowls full of cereal and 2% milk topped with sugar, candy and chocolate, pretzels, potato chips, big bowls of ice cream, pizza, pasta... and the list goes on and on.
There has got to be a way for me to quit overeating and have the strength to just say no to unhealthy foods! I feel like such a failure and I am so ashamed and embarrassed of myself! I know, if I'm able to get myself back on track, I will also use my accountability partners. I never once let anyone know the damage I was doing to myself. Gaining 23 pounds in a month is ridiculous!
Come on, my sweet and precious SparkBuddies; Help me to be strong like those of you who are having success!
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