SEVERINA418   51,378
50,000-59,999 SparkPoints
SEVERINA418's Recent Blog Entries

September 1, 2014: My SparkVersary

Monday, September 01, 2014

Wow, it took me seven years to get a little over 50,000 SparkPoints! Does that say anything about how much I was on-again/off-again? Every year since then, I have made today's date a restarting point, based on how much success I was having with myself, as far as how close or far I was from my goal weight. This year, I am completely ashamed at just how far away from goal I have strayed! I am teetering at just under 300 pounds again, from an all-time high of 340! You had better believe that I will never again weigh 340 pounds, and that's not a threat!

This month will also bring a new overhaul of my exercise regimen--or lack of. I finally have a mountain bike, and if nobody else cares whether or not they see my fat butt hanging over the bike seat, then why should I care? I am sure that with as out of shape as I am right now, my butt will be the least of my concerns, and hopefully is the least of yours.

This is also a month for another new beginning. I'm starting school again on the 2nd, for sure this time, with a different concentration; getting my BA in Applied Behavioral Science instead of Psychology. I know, big change. That is going to take a while, though, but this time I fully intend on finishing the program.

No more procrastinating with my future!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IGNITEME101 9/8/2014 8:08PM

    wow 7 years!! Good job on the 40 pound weight loss!! emoticon

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COASTAL6 9/5/2014 8:28PM

    Hello my friend.
Miss you!
I haven't talked with for awhile!
It was good to read your blog today!
Your so funny and cute, I wish I could give you a big hug in person.
I'm very happy for you going back to school.
Study hard, it's your dream, and I know you wont give up!

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DANLIN60 9/3/2014 9:34AM

    Happy Sparkversary. I have always been behind you 100% and always will. You go girl!!!

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    Happy Sparkversary!! Good luck with your plan and I hope you enjoy your new class.

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KIM22211 9/1/2014 8:33AM

    that degree sounds perfect for you and also the only thing you will do is inspire others to get on their bikes and ride! omg, why is Fat bottom girls from Queen coming to my mind after I said get on your bikes and ride!!!!! lol!!!! I am crackin' myself up today!!! You always are inspiring though and keep your picture close with you and Nicole!!! So amazing you got to meet everyone!!! Really cool!!

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August 28, 2014

Thursday, August 28, 2014

I enrolled at Ashford University again, instead of going to the local college who had me down for 6 classes, my first semester. I much prefer the one-class-at-a-time scenario over the traditional style of learning. I'm going to be studying Applied Behavioral Science and I'm hoping these next 4 years go by fast.

I went and got a new, free interviewing outfit from Dress for Success out of Cincinnati. I may have to pick up a part-time job soon, depending on how our money situation flies, and they hooked me up with slacks, two shirts, a blazer, a necklace, a pair of dress shoes, and a purse. They also fed us lunch. The brownies were awesome... which leads me to my next topic.

Folks, I'm about to smack myself upside the head a few times if I don't get a grip on my eating habits! My weight has skyrocketed again, and I have no one to blame but me. We're talking, I'm fewer than 10 pounds away from 300 again. That's just ridiculous for me! I have no valid reason for why I have allowed myself to obviously continue eating more, much more than I should. I need an intervention!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LACEYKYLE 8/29/2014 12:14AM

    emoticon you signed up for college!! I can totally see you working with people. You have such a gentle and kind heart! emoticon you got a couple of outfits for work too!! I know what you mean about being out of control! I keep gaining and losing the same 10lbs since I joined Spark in October!! I feel like an idiot sometimes. But, negative talk doesn't get us anywhere. It's up to us to be successful. I know for me I have to take a little at a time. I keep telling myself that I will eat junk food in small servings. I know it doesn't work and I bring it home anyway. All I do is gain weight then get mad at myself. I haven't had any junk in the house this week and I've lost weight. That tells me I cannot have it in the house. Since I've started driving again I've also started going back to the gym. I've only been doing the treadmill, between 25-35min, I wish it was more but at least it's a start. You can do this Teresa!!! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! God wants His best for you and me but we have to do our part. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SURVIVOR61 8/28/2014 2:01PM

    Sandy is absolutely right, only you can make the choice and take control of your life. Start by committing to 10 + minutes of walking daily and tracking your daily food intake good and bad choices like it is the Holy Grail. This way you will see where your mistakes are coming from. If you know you are going to be out for a meeting the next day and will not have time for a healthy meal or snack. Prepare one ahead of time and place it in your purse, so you will not be tempted by brownies and that includes putting a bottle of water in your bag as well. Don't get caught of guard, always be prepared. No one else is going to do it for us we have to take care of us. Remember these same people that put out these unhealthy snacks at these events are also the ones that usually complain about us obese, over weight people. Yet they never think to prepare a healthy snack for all of us, just something quick and easy like junk food. So if we don't take care of us no one else will. Always plan ahead. God Luck!

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RHOOK20047 8/28/2014 12:13PM

    My wife contributes to that organization. Great place. Don't beat yourself up. Start over. Start logging your food and exercise if you aren't doing it. The daily accountability will stop you from making too many bad food choices. If your going to have a brownie, okay add a 15-20 minute walk to burn off those useless calories. You can do it. We all have stumbled and had to bet back on track. You can do it also. We are all here to help you! Have a great weekend. This weekend I am eating no meat unless it is grilled. A little places to start!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 8/28/2014 10:06AM

    I hope you enjoy your new class!

Dress For Success is an excellent group. It really helps women who need a boost to get a good job.

I am trying to reign it in too on the diet front and increase my exercise. It's hard.

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SANDY1969 8/28/2014 8:50AM

    I really shouldn't comment much, I ate at McDonalds last night on the way home. My stomach was about to eat my brain. Thats how it feels when the low calorie headache comes on.

The fact that you think you need an intervention got me thinking. Only you can make the decision to either go for it or not. It took me 40 years to acknowledge myself, my WHOLE self and what I'd done to my body. I can't even imagine what it's like to go from point A to B then back to A and then struggle again. Id like to think when I get where Im going I wont let anything drag me down again but it happens every day.

All I can say is take it one day, even 1 hour at a time. Stop focusing on Sparkpeople or groups or being a cheerleader for others and start thinking about you. Get a routine down and DO it.

I tell myself every time I get on my bike or treadmill (which I hate) 5 minutes down and that's 5 minutes no one can take away from another 5. It's only time. Yes Im sweaty and this is boring and Im basically lazy in the only area that it truly counts in (taking care of myself) but Im going to do this!

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August 20, 2014

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Sleep? I'm not quite sure if I know what that is anymore. I swear I will lay down and fall asleep, but within 1-2 hours I wake up, fully awake! My psychiatrist is a gimp because he seems to think that Trazodone is the only medication available to help with sleep. All he does is he continues to increase my dosage for that instead of trying something else. Oh well... by the end of next week, I should be on a schedule again, so that may help.

Hugs go out to my dearest friend, Amy, who has recently been united with someone she loves very much! I swear I will make a road trip down to Houston one of these days/months/years (hopefully not years).

Monday, I start school again. This time it's going to be very challenging for me because they're starting me out with 6 classes my first semester. But at least I will be back in a classroom instead of trying to kill myself--I mean, do tons of writing with how the online classes were.

Okay, that was fun. I must go now because I'm starting to dream while I'm awake, literally. I just almost got up to go get my infant son to change his poopy diaper, yet I don't have any babies, let alone any kids living with me. I really hope I'm not turning psychotic or anything! But this has been happening more and more, where my dreams start flirting with my conscious life and I have to do a major reality check sometimes just to make sure there isn't anything out there with my name on it that I don't know about.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIM22211 8/28/2014 12:00AM

    hey update me on the work load you are going to take!

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IGNITEME101 8/23/2014 12:39PM

    I'm sad that you're going without sleep. Take good care of yourself, Teresa. IF 6 classes are too much, you can drop 1 or 2 without penalty 'as long as' you do it fairly early. Talk to your advisor about it. emoticon

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SHELLS514 8/22/2014 3:35PM

    That is quite a load Teresa but good for you! You can do it; I'm glad you are taking this on; what a sense of accomplishment you will have! Dreams are the strangest things sometimes; so odd the things roaming around in the back of our mind.

So, best of luck Teresa! I'm proud of ya!
Love, Teri

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KIM22211 8/21/2014 6:15PM

    dreams can do that to you. normal! and you should sleep like a baby after taking that many courses at once!

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    I get pretty weird when I don't get enough sleep for days on end too. I hope you can get this problem solved soon. Good luck with school!

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COASTAL6 8/20/2014 7:40AM

    Good Morning Friend emoticon

I also take Trazodone for sleep, I'm off of Abilify for a couple of weeks now, because the insurance is all must up right now, thanks to the Obama Care!
I'm so very happy for you, that your going back to school soon. I look up to you! So what classes are you taking? I would love to go back to school someday, I have to wait, till my husband retires.
Rooting for you, and cheering you on my friend!

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August 16, 2014

Saturday, August 16, 2014

A few days ago, my psychiatrist prescribed Adderall XR to me to help me pay attention and be able to focus in class. I can tell already, even on my low starting dose, that my appetite is waning! I know they say ADHD medications tend to cause weight loss, so this will be awesome if it helps me lose weight, too.

Last night, I picked up a free, used mountain bike from a nice gal who offered it to me in a group on Facebook! I'm scared to ride it, though. Do big people get made fun of when they're seen riding a bike? Also, is it the law to wear a helmet while riding? I sure hope not!

Today, I picked up a HUGE garbage bag filled to the brim with free clothes for me! They were from another nice lady on Facebook. Some of the clothes are a bit snug, but they will just give me incentive to lose weight.

Feeling blessed is how I've been feeling recently, even having a broken nose and two black eyes can't keep me from feeling like the Big Man in Heaven is taking care of me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IGNITEME101 8/23/2014 12:43PM

    ouch! broken noes and black eyes? emoticon

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KIM22211 8/18/2014 1:58PM

    sure wish you lived closer NO people of any size do not get made of of for trying!!!!! period! I am sure a helmet is a good idea but check with your city as far as laws. I have never heard of it as a law but I dont ride a bike. Our Harley, in our state, it is a law. Even if it wasn't I would wear one. The state 10 min from us isn't a helmet law state but we wear it anyways!

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    A broken nose and 2 black eyes??!!! OMG. That is horrible! I hope you are okay now. I am glad things are looking up for you otherwise.

Comment edited on: 8/16/2014 8:43:35 PM

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August 8, 2014

Friday, August 08, 2014

Today I'm beginning my prep do be able to walk a 5K in 5 weeks. I am too big and too out of shape to try running it, so walking it will still be more than I've ever done before. I wish I had someone to do this with, especially if it was my boyfriend or even a local sparker. But I will be brave and go it alone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COASTAL6 8/12/2014 12:06PM

    I'm so excited for you!
Happy walking!

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SANDY1969 8/9/2014 8:13PM

    Do you have a 5K in mind or just doing a program that trains you to be ready in that amount of time? I want to do one some time. I do not know really what to expect, I have never even watched one. I have tried to research how long it should take a person like me to complete one, but so far nothing. Id really hate to be walking it in alone after everyone went home lol.

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KIM22211 8/8/2014 6:36PM

    and good for you doing it solo! You might meet some great new friends at it. Which one are you doing?

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KIM22211 8/8/2014 6:35PM

    hey, this old thang did it so can you. Yes, I walked it, until the end then I jogged thru the finish line! lol!

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WIFE48 8/8/2014 11:47AM

    emoticon emoticon

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    Good luck! emoticon

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JLAMING263 8/8/2014 11:04AM

    emoticon emoticon

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