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No End in Sight

Tuesday, February 02, 2010


“It’s a journey, not a destination.”

“I will never arrive.”

“It‘s not over until I’m dead.”

It sounds so harsh…because it has to. I cannot get soft on myself now. I have come too far. I know for me, it will never be over. I will struggle with my weight for the rest of my life. It is just as much a part of who I am as my green eyes. To deny this fact would be to deny that the sky is blue.

Before I lost the weight I always felt like the “real me”…the thin me…was just hiding inside and all I had to do was let her out. Now, I feel like the person hiding inside is the fat me, poised and waiting to come out again…who IS the “real me”? This is the question that I have yet to answer.

Even though the pain of all the shame, disappointment and self-loathing that I used to feel every day is slowly fading away, I feel like I cannot let myself forget it. Because if I do, I feel like it could all just creep back up and take me over again.

I am not the skinny girl who can eat whatever she wants. I can’t just stop working out. I WILL be what I consistently do… it is as simple as that, and I know it. If I overeat, I will gain weight. If I follow my maintenance plan I will maintain my weight…simple but scary.

I really had to go into this knowing that it wasn’t over once I reached my weight loss goal. It will never be over. I know darn well that I can gain all the weight back just as quickly as I lost it. So I will walk this long road, but I won't have to do it alone, thanks to all of you!

SparkFriends, you help me keep it real! Thank you.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANA_LEE 9/6/2011 4:06PM

    Great post- thanks for keeping it real and putting this out there!



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EBM1284 8/17/2011 12:13AM

    thank you so much for this post (just came across it even though it's been several months since you wrote it). my weight has fluxuated fairly drastically over the years at times due to bad habits (when i got heavier) and at other times due to medical issues (which compensated for my bad habits by taking away my appetite). what i ended up with was not "feeling like myself" when i was thin because of what i was going through medically...but i also "wasn't me" when i'm heavy...so i can really relate to the points you make here. i'm hoping to follow your example and pave my own path to find a happy medium where my inside truly matches my outside. thank you again for this!

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SLF238 4/14/2011 4:02AM

  What a fantastic post! Thank you so much for putting things into perspective, sometimes you do have to be straight up with yourself and accept its a lifelong journey. Thanks again and you look AMAZING!!!! Well done!

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HEARTS116 2/18/2011 3:39PM

    Great blog...thank you for sharing!

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APIRLRAIN888 10/23/2010 10:51PM

    thank you! what an awesome and very honest blog!
congratulations! and keep it up!!!

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JESTICJADE 10/12/2010 9:07PM

    Thank you for that. I need to remember this is a lifestyle, not just a goal with an end. My journey will be a long one, but I need the reminders like your.

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CRISSYCURRY 7/13/2010 4:52PM

    It's as though *I* wrote this post! I feel the same exact way!! I've been battling my weight since I hit puberty. I don't want to battle it anymore but unfortunately, unless I want to be fat and tired the rest of my life, it's going to be a constant battle.

I think you and your husband look fantastic! Keep up the great work!!

Comment edited on: 7/13/2010 4:53:06 PM

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MOORERLC 4/29/2010 6:42PM

  I love it. Completely true.

I would like to know what you used to lose your weight?

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NONNATAMMY 4/6/2010 10:13PM

    I agree with you. You're doing great by the way. emoticon

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GINARAS1 4/5/2010 3:27PM

    Perfectly said! Good for you to recognize this fact as your reality. Knowing it is half the battle. My routine has been lose a little and start to slack off, and whine when the weight comes back. I'm almost 40 now and I need to ensure that I get on the right path and STAY there! :)

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LP2278 4/5/2010 2:43PM

    I am using Spark People really to maintain my weight, making sure I stay physically active and eat nutritiously. I only wanted to lose 7 pounds when I started, and I've lost 4 so far. People wonder why I'm using Spark People, and it's more about accountability for me. If I know I'm going to record what I did and what I ate, I'll make sure to work out and eat healthy--at least for the most part!

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CHRIS3215 4/5/2010 10:19AM

    Well said & I TOTALLY AGREE!
I have traveled the road too a better me too!
emoticon on a Job well DONE!!!

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JOY1918 4/5/2010 9:23AM

    You are so right. It is a lifelong journey.

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LADY_KATHY 4/5/2010 8:18AM

    Well said... : )

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LADY_KATHY 4/5/2010 8:18AM

    Well said... : )

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SEAWITCHBLUE 4/5/2010 5:36AM

    I agree with you.
Its almost as difficult to keep it off as it is to get it off!
And its a LIFESTYLE change which has to be recognised.
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SUNRISESUNSET 3/18/2010 9:21PM

    Thanks for sharing the bad side of maintenance. We think about the good side but we need to hear the FULL story to be prepared for the lifelong journey ahead.

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ASHLEEWEBART 3/16/2010 11:44PM

    When I look back, I am certain, in the past, I re-gained weight largely because I stopped carrying out many of the essential weight loss practices and principles that I had learned while losing the weight.


Comment edited on: 3/16/2010 11:52:08 PM

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RYANHD 3/8/2010 11:38AM

    It really is scary to change your lifestyle. All those comforting old habits are so easy to fall back into, but you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and a healthy understanding of the challenges that face you. Good luck! I know you can do it!

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LITTLE3LAM 3/8/2010 7:36AM

    I think the hardest part of losing weight is keeping it. You have the right frame of mind. Keep on going!

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MAGGIEMAY9999 3/7/2010 5:48PM

    You are such an inspiration. Even though I have three times what you lost left to lose seeing your page and reading your blog gives me hope. I think that sometimes don't realize that losing weight is more than just going on a diet, it is changing your life completely. I know that as I go farther in my journey I am having to change my attitude about food. I used to look at it as comfort and now I am looking at it like it's my enemy. I know that eventually I will find even ground and come to love the food that is good for me. emoticon

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NAYNAY69 2/27/2010 9:27AM

    You are completely right. We all know it and knowing it we have to act on it or it will come back on us. It took ma a year last year to loose 30 pounds and when I "fell of the wagon" lol during some bad times during the holidays I gained back 25 pounds in 2 months!! 2 MONTHS!!!!! That quick after all that hard work, exercise and eating right for so long. Forever mindful we have to be. Then it is soooo hard to start all over but reading your page today has really inspired me. Maybe I can do it all over again. Thanks!

NayNay emoticon

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SKINNYMINNIENJ 2/23/2010 4:26PM

    SEVENKITTIE's, you are so right. You stated the harsh facts, plain and simple, but did it in a very inspirational way. Thanks for reminding me to take off my rose-colored glasses, and accept reality. We all need to accept the fact that this struggle will NOT end. But the good part is, we have lots of friends here to support us, like you!

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KHERMOSO 2/23/2010 11:21AM

    Yes, I can relate too.. because we've been living in these bodies for such a long time, longing to see us the way we dream...and when your dream hits you, now you feel you can "break" easy...really easy.
A friend of mine (actually, my triathlon trainer) told me that once I reach my weight and measurement goals, switch my brain into the ATHLETE mode. Yes, stop thinking that I work out and diet and change into the "I train and eat for endurance" mode. Told me to set goals as for races and step up from a sprint, into an Olympic... or from 10k into a half marathon. And when that happens I'll embrace my new athlete me...

And certainly, you totally look very athletic!!! emoticon

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WILKINSA 2/22/2010 10:38PM

    WOW what a BLog and what success. You are right weight is a life time battle. When I reach my goal, I will never forget the larger me either. That's the only way for us to keep it off. emoticon

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ROCKINBUTTERFLY 2/22/2010 9:45PM

    Love it!

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MISTEANJAVA 2/22/2010 9:44PM

  Well said! Spark on :) I am looking forward to reading more of your site to find out your exercise program. It's just part of life :) You look fantastic. emoticon

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LOLOBEAR1 2/21/2010 11:40PM

    Well said!! I had a bad day yesterday, and the self-loathing negative tapes in my head just went ahead and started playing - it kind of shocked me as I thought I was DONE with that kind of thinking. But you're right ... maybe it's better not to forget them, so that we don't go back to our old ways. Great blog!

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SIGLED 2/21/2010 11:56AM

    Thanks for your blog!

I understand what you are saying. Believe me! I understand.

The identity thing is scary. It is a shock to look in the mirror to see the skinny person and wonder where that wonderful, funny fat guy went?

The Fat Me is so much more adorable and fun to be with in my opinion.

But the Skinny Me is fun too. He allows me the health, strength and fortitude to accomplish what needs to be done. The Fat Me just likes to sit around and could care less. The Skinny Me allows me to live, no, really LIVE! So that I can enjoy my wife, my family and all the good gifts in life that God allows.

The Journey and battle with the weight IS life long. I am 61 now. Since the teens and each and every decade I have had a major battle to get the weight down. In the teens it was a simple cut the calories and I went from 200 to 150. In my twenties, it was water diets, fasting diets, powder diets and taking shots. In my 30's it was a gastric bypass. In my 40's it was Weigh Down. In my 50's it was SparkPeople and still is: Because SparkPeople works better than anything I've done or tried.

What can I say? It's a weakness. It's ME. It could be much worse. But it's only weight. I can deal with that.

Will I continue to fight the good fight? Oh yeah. Because I want to celebrate my 50th Wedding Anniversary with my wife. We just celebrated our 39th. I want to continue my career (College Teaching) until I am 80. I want to see what my children become in life and see my grandchildren graduate from college and then attend their weddings.

The goals and what I want to do require the Skinny Me. The Fat Me will stop me way short. There is too much life left to stop now.

Go for the Gold!
Dennis


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TOCHATTY 2/21/2010 11:14AM

    You are absolutely right, this journey is never over.

Great job on your weight loss!!!!

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MAMA_CD 2/21/2010 9:36AM

    Thats it, the truth of it all, its not about losing weight, per se, its about developing a healthy lifestyle. emoticon

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2BSIZE6 2/20/2010 1:19PM

    This is very inspirational to me. Your starting weight is only 1 or 2 pounds under my starting weight! And I'm only 1 inch shorter than you. I may take a different road to get there. But you are proof that it's possible and I'm thrilled with your results. I just checked your sparkpage and I really want to show my husband your husband's before and after picks! You guys look totally HOT!!! Way to go, and thank you for sharing!

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SANTANDERE 2/19/2010 1:30PM

    It sounds like I could have written this blog... I can so relate in every single way.
Thanks for saying it so eloquently!

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SIANBRANNON 2/18/2010 9:30AM

    Super. Your before and after look crazy awesome, like something you would see on TV. Keep it up.

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REDELICIOUS1 2/17/2010 8:20PM

    please add as a sparks friend as I need encouragement

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2BABETTERMOM 2/17/2010 10:15AM

    So True!!!! Great Blog and congratualtions on your accomplishments. The changes you have made are your new lifestyle and not temporary. Keep making good choices and you will be the person you want to be.

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GODZDESIGN95 2/17/2010 9:33AM

    sounding like me!! .

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GODZDESIGN95 2/17/2010 9:33AM

    sounding like me!! .

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KIN59VARA 2/17/2010 4:30AM

    This is me!

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TRACYZABELLE 2/17/2010 1:35AM

    So very true-- when you have lost the weight-- that is when the hard part begins!! Congratrs on your amazing accomplishment

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GOODGETNBETR 2/16/2010 8:23AM

    Congrats on all your hard work. You look great and hopefully you'll feel even better about your victory. Stay strong and it is a long road, it's life.
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BEBOPBLAIR 2/15/2010 5:05PM

    Thanks for your entry! I have also thought about the mind games that will take place if/when I lose the weight....I liked what you had to say, Monicatj, about no longer living in fear and shame, of divorcing ourselves of the mindset of shame centered around being overweight once we have lost the weight....and I wonder if we could accept ourselves and divorce ourselves of this shame no matter what size we are. I am working on accepting myself, my body, at its biggest. It comes from the idea that in order to move on and move to the next moment of life, to live in the present, you must first accept the past and what is. This requires a LOT. I am not there yet. We are all works in progress, but it is something to work toward! Self Love and acceptance can only make the world a more beautiful and loving place.

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EATINGRIGHT2010 2/12/2010 7:53PM

    Great blog!

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MALCONTENTION 2/11/2010 9:58PM

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your fears. I share them. I'm not sure who I am, and I'm so close to my goal that I'm thinking constantly about maintenance. Can I do it and how? I've regained weight SO many times. I look forward to watching how you manage on this journey too!

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AKA639 2/11/2010 12:22PM

    Great blog. I'm in a similar place.

One thing that I keep reminding myself: "You are what you do."

I am a healthy eating, active and strong woman. You are too. We choose what we will become with each and every action that we do. Keep up the great work. Setting new goals is exactly where I'm headed. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOREENYK 2/10/2010 12:33AM

    Great blog! Just keep setting goals - there is no finish line!!!

Take care
Loreen

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DMENZ595 2/9/2010 10:31AM

    Great blog! I think that anyone with a lifelong weight struggle can relate to your words of wisdom. emoticon
I am just starting back on my road to healthy and know that the thin me is "the real me"....but once I reach my goals, that "bigger me" will be trying her best to burst out again.
I guess the weight-loss battle is really more of a war...once you win one battle you have to make sure to keep your defenses up and be aware of any impending "attacks".

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DRAGONFLY180 2/6/2010 10:04PM

    very insightful blog. this is something that i'd been playing with in my mind but had not yet been able to verbalize yet. it is scary to think that you really can never relax totally into laziness again, but i am learning to appreciate my lifestyle now, so i'm not sure i'd even want to go back to how my life was before. realizing that is pretty comforting. and you're right, it is comforting knowing that we have such a great support system at our disposal.

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MONICATJ 2/4/2010 10:38AM

    Wow! You vocalized my greatest fear. I've still got about 40 lbs. to go, but I'm already struggling with what I'm going to do once I get there. I also feel like "the thin me" is just itching to come out, but my current fear is that my expectations of "the thin me" are too high. I know life isn't just going to be perfect because I hit my goal. I'm scared of falling apart once I realize that the struggle is not and looks like it will never be over.

The thing that struck an even greater fear in me was your comment of not forgetting about the shame, disappointment and self-loathing you used to feel when you were overweight. I know what you mean, but wouldn't it be better to concentrate on how good you feel now (no shame, pride, in control, and loved) instead of wallowing in the past? It just seems like we will live in fear for the rest of our lives if we go through life worrying about getting fat again.

I don't mean to sound preachy, because I still live in the past more often than not and that triggers my eating, so I'm trying my hardest to live in the present. I know it is easier said than done, because I've had the same thoughts. I've just never written them down, so to see them in black and white really struck me. Thank you for sharing. It really helps to know I'm not the only one and I hope it helps you too!
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LEELOOZABAT 2/3/2010 6:14PM

    A very honest and frank blog. And it is true, the journey never ends...and even when it ends...its just the beginning somewhere else.

The fact that you reached your goal is fabulous but our "health" which is entirely different from weight goes on until our physical self has been absorbed back into the universe. (wow...I'm starting to border on new age here) My point is you are right. The improvement never ends.

Which is kinda cool actually if you think of it as an opportunity. We have our mental (cognitive and emotional) health, our spiritual health, our home health (in which I mean how toxic or "green" is your home) and the preventional measures we can take to ensure we have the best health possible in our later years. And that doesn't even include the influence we have on our family and children's health.

Thanks! Glad someone said it.

Comment edited on: 2/3/2010 6:16:48 PM

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Stop the Sabotage!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010



In a perfect world, our friends and family would support us in our efforts to lose weight and be healthier. But sometimes, those closest to you -- those you need the most help from -- may actually try to cause you to fail at weight loss by undermining your success.


Why does this happen to us?!?!

It can be the person you least expect who attempts to sabotage your weight loss -- your spouse, a sibling or your best friend. While this situation can happen for different reasons, it is quite likely that the "saboteur" finds themselves threatened by your efforts to lose weight.

Why would they be threatened?

•Friends may think you want to change your life in other ways -- maybe you'll be leaving them out of your "new and improved" circle of friends along with your new, healthy lifestyle.
•A friend may feel your weight loss makes her extra weight seem more noticeable to others.
•Your spouse may be jealous of or dislike the attention you are getting from other people.
•A family member may resent the time you spend exercising or preparing healthy foods (particularly if they themselves partake of neither) when you could be spending time with them.
•A friend may feel guilty about continuing to eat your formerly favorite foods while you eat lighter fare. Or she may miss her "partner in crime" if you frequently ate together or shared "bad" foods.


How will you know if you are being sabotaged?

•They may urge you to cheat or say "one bite won't hurt".
•They may try to undermine your efforts by saying things like "No one ever keeps the weight off!" or "You'll never make your goal weight. You always quit."
•They may continually offer you second helpings of food despite the fact that you say you are no longer hungry.
•They keep a watchful eye on everything you eat, make snide comments, or check the fridge or food packages to see if you have eaten "bad" foods in their absence.
•They are overly critical of your weight loss methods.
•They discourage you from getting regular physical activity.
•They belittle or make fun of you.


If this is happening to you...what do you do?

If you find that someone in your life fits these characteristics, it is likely you are dealing with someone who -- consciously or unconsciously -- does not want your weight loss efforts to work. It is important to recognize if someone is making your weight loss efforts harder rather than easier; not acknowledging this will only lead to failure and resentment in your relationship. After all, weight loss changes a lot more than just your dress size and you may have to change the way you relate to your loved ones if this becomes a problem.

What We've Got Here is a Failure to Communicate!

By having an honest talk about your weight loss efforts and your loved one's influence on them, you will be able to get to the heart of the matter. Explain to them that losing weight is very important to you and that the support of those around you means a lot. Don't be afraid to point out things that make it harder for you to lose weight or give examples of statements that have hurt your feelings.
Asking someone for their unconditional support isn't like asking someone to change a light bulb; it takes a little pride-swallowing. But admitting to this person that you need their help may be the first step in improving the situation for both of you.

Here are some ideas:

•"When you prepare a meal for us, I would prefer it if you didn't offer me seconds. Please don't take offense when I refuse."
•"When you bring snacks or fast food into the house, please try to eat them in another room or at least, don't offer me any of yours. These are problem foods for me and hard to resist them."
•"I feel more likely to stick to my walking routine if you will join me every now and again. It's something we can do together.
•"I am carefully watching what I do and don't eat. If I do slip now and again, believe me, I am aware of it. I don't need you to point it out.

In turn, ask your loved one to tell you about their feelings. You may be surprised at what comes to light. Ask them what you can do to help them adjust to your new lifestyle. (If your friend, for example, feels threatened you'll leave her behind for a "new crowd," a simple heart-to-heart may be all it takes for her to put those feelings of fear and resentment behind her.)


So how can you deal with it?

If you find that your relationship doesn't change, you may have to simply come up with your own ways to either ignore or cope with the situations as they crop up.
You may wish to keep a record in your journal of the occasions when someone says or does something that you feel undermines your efforts. At the end of each day, look over these instances and try to come up with ways you can handle the situation better. Often, dealing with these types of influences comes down to avoiding them, ignoring them, or giving yourself the positive self-talk that undoes the damage caused by your loved one's negative influence.

You may find that simply avoiding eating in social situations is a good way to keep these issues from cropping up. Try planning non-food activities with friends and family as often as possible. If you're used to drinks and appetizers with friends, get together for bowling instead; instead of going to your Mom's for dessert, ask her to play a game of cards with you.

The worst case scenario is that you'll have to distance yourself from the person who is causing your weight loss efforts to suffer. Sometimes a breather from a relationship is a good thing. Don't look at it as break up; remember that when you feel stronger or once you've met your weight loss goal, you can pick up where you left off.


The Bottom Line

Each situation is different and only you can decide what is best for both your relationship and your weight loss journey. Remember, no one is able to make you eat or do -- or not do -- anything you set you mind to. It is your body and your health at stake and you have to take charge of it ... no one else can!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MGARREN 8/7/2011 11:51AM

    emoticon can so relate

I want to share one other type of saboteur and the solution.

The hater - this individual is unhappy with themselves and is determined to make every one around them feel like crud too if they are having a bad day. The hater does not like it when people around them find inner strength to make positive and happy changes in their lives, so the hater will use words and any other means to bring people down.

The solution - spend as little time around these types as possible, and remember their words are stemming from their unhappiness with themselves. Sadly offering to help them find positive outlooks, inner happiness or strength, is usually met with extreme nastiness, they have to find it for themselves.

Thank you for putting such a hard to explain topic into a wonderful blog.

I talked over the course of a year with my DH about the unintentional sabotage he was doing. He is fully supportive, he was then, just didn't realize he was hindering, and is joining our teen daughter and myself on our trek to healthier us's.


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RUNSTEPHRUN 3/6/2011 5:42PM

    Thanks for the wonderful blog! I have experienced this in all different ways. It's once reason I have been comfortable to put half my weight back on!

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JOY1918 4/5/2010 9:21AM

    Good article as it address many aspects of sabotage, including solutions. emoticon

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SEAWITCHBLUE 4/5/2010 5:34AM

    Excellent article!


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ASHLEEWEBART 3/16/2010 11:39PM

    The whole article is very good. I especially like the part in which you ask a friend or relative to go on your walk with you. Some will want to be supportive-so giving them a hint like that is good. I, too, believe the large family gatherings are difficult-so it is good to go prepared.


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JOCKOLEWIS 1/31/2010 8:57PM

    So true! My hubby is having difficulties with my fitness routine, this might just help:) Thanks!

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THE_SILVER_OWL 1/29/2010 2:18AM

    One more idea - If you are dealing with a saboteur and not sure what to say or how to approach the problem, have him or her read this blog.

Perhaps that will get the much needed conversation started...

~JJ~

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SHELLY1416 1/25/2010 8:07PM

  Great to read...very true all I can do is try my best no to be the Sabotagerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Had a great workout tonight GO ZUMBA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon

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K10BFIT 1/22/2010 6:50PM

  What a great post and it's so true! I've noticed most of my friends are supportive, but I'm also just starting out. Besides, they may be supportive but at parties or other social events they may not be. It's hard, but resisting/avoiding instead of entertaining the "I'll just have one bite" mentality is much better! Thanks for the awesome post.

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FLOURISHINGNOW 1/21/2010 11:35PM

    So true. When this happens it's good to remember that's it's not unusual. We all resist change, even when it's good change. We are comfortable with the familiar. We often sabotage ourselves just as things are really going well, because we're simply not used to our new situation. It will take time for us to feel at home with our new selves, so of course our friends and family will find it a bit of a challenge too. Thanks for all the good tips in handling this.

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NRLARA 1/20/2010 7:20PM

    Good job!

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XHOOSIERLOSER 1/20/2010 5:53PM

    It helps me so much to read what others have taken the time to think through! I realize I can be more prepared to handle 'situations' than I have been. Thanks!

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RLAMBERTSC 1/20/2010 2:49PM

    Thanks for the information. I am very good at setting boundaries except when it comes to food so your tips are a great help.

Thanks a bunch

- Ralph

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GREATGRANNY55 1/20/2010 2:29PM

    My husband does this to me every Christmas. Buys sugary stocking stuffers even though I have asked him not to. This year I threw (most) them away. Maybe next year he will not waste our $$$ on them. Great blog. Thanks for the tips. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/20/2010 2:34:11 PM

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SUGIRL06 1/20/2010 12:29PM

    Great blog! Thanks for the advice! I noticed a lot of comments at first but once everyone around me realized this was a permanent thing, they kind of gave up. Now they seem more intrigued by my healthy lifestyle. Instead of getting comments like "You're going to the gym?? AGAIN??" I get "What class are you doing to tonight? Its is that cool dance class you like?" Eventually, those who really care about you will be supportive! It just takes time! And if they can't be supportive? Then maybe you should reevaluate the relationship... Thanks again for a great blog!!
~Ang

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ANEILSON 1/20/2010 9:40AM

    Thanks for the great blog!

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JUDITHWITKIN 1/20/2010 9:32AM

    Great blog. Can't tell you how many times friends urge me "one hot fudge sundae isn't going to hurt". That only makes me stronger in my own will power.

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HIPPICHICK1 1/20/2010 9:30AM

    great blog!

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LIAVMEL 1/20/2010 9:06AM

    So glad I came upon this blog today!! This past weekend my mother had us all over to her house for supper. Here was the menu: pork burgers, hot dogs with cheese, sausage, baked beans, cole slaw, mac and cheese. When I got there I look at her and asked where the veggies were. Her response was oh you can have small portions you will be fine. Sabotage?? Well it felt like.

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LADY_KATHY 1/20/2010 8:34AM

    LISANANCY said it best!

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GRAMPIAN 1/20/2010 6:00AM

  Inspirational. emoticon

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MARCYNA 1/20/2010 5:44AM

    Thanks a lot, actually I am striving to have the people around me accept what I'm doing, sometimes it's just so hard.
Love, emoticon

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UNSTOPPABLE_ 1/20/2010 3:46AM

    Great blog. emoticon

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WADEGILES 1/19/2010 9:29PM

    Wonderful post!

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LADYNIKAO84 1/19/2010 2:23PM

    Great blog! My SO isn't an intentional sabatoger, but in some ways he enables me to have that extra cookie, or too many carbs, etc. I'll have to sit and chat with him this evening. :) Thanks! I'm adding you as a friend! Great motivator. :)

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SHANNOND5 1/19/2010 12:17PM

    Awesome blog, thanks.

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DIXIE_AMAZON 1/19/2010 9:44AM

    Thank you!

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LISANANCY 1/19/2010 12:57AM

    Most that would sabotage you are themselves under the pressure to do something in their own lives. Your success just shows them that they need to work on themselves. No one wants that, we would rather see everything remain the same so we don't have to work. It's THEIR problem. And they probably don't even know it. What comes to mind is "letting it go in one ear and out the other!" You are a fantastic success. You are out of line, now the line has to straighten out behind you. Sort of like follow the leader. Maybe they should not smoke, not drink, or work to get healthy. That all takes hard work. Too bad that's life. emoticon

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JEWLSM 1/16/2010 8:39AM

    The worst for me is family parties where people often don't know you're trying to lose weight. And they INSIST that you eat their food, because they've lovingly prepared it etc etc. This is a REAL issue for me around the holidays, as I'm sure it is for others.

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OCEANGIFT 1/15/2010 9:47PM

    Great blog, great tool. Matter of fact so good makes me want to go work out.. Thank you....

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PAGONA 1/15/2010 1:07PM

    What a great Blog, We all need to remember those words,

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KRISLEWIS48 1/15/2010 1:04PM

    Great blog--many truths, good strategy! Pretty darned good writing, too (which, as an editor, I appreciate).

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SPARKLINGDAWN 1/15/2010 6:04AM

    Thanks for this crisp and structured overview. I live in it these days - and it is comforting that others have similar struggles.

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LOREENYK 1/14/2010 9:30PM

    Well said. Been there, done that.

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NO_SNOW_BODY 1/14/2010 4:07PM

    Thank you for this blog, I feel that I have a couple people doing this to me and right now I am probably my own worse enemy. I think this blog puts me in my place and I needed that.

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GODZDESIGN95 1/14/2010 7:57AM

    good info already putting some of those to work.

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X98COLLEGEGIRL 1/13/2010 9:19PM

    oo, you are speaking the truth.

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LIVINHEALTHY9 1/13/2010 8:55PM

    Great blog!

Jackie

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

“Even Though”

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

People always ask me… "How do you stay so motivated?” My answer to that is...I DON'T!

The two words, “even though”, have got me started more times than I can count! One of the things that I have learned about myself is that sometimes I don’t feel like doing some things….but if I just move forward and taking action “even though” I don’t FEEL like it, that is often all I need to get in the groove again…and before I know it I DO feel like it!

This can be applied to so many areas of my life, cleaning house, working out, making dinner, …even (sometimes) making love to my dear husband! Yes, I did just say that! Sometimes we don’t feel like doing some things, but once we get moving, before you know it we are really enjoying whatever it is we thought we didn’t want to do in the first place! Has this happened to you?

So my point here is, take action first, and very often good feelings and motivation will follow!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIDDIX 3/19/2010 1:00PM

    Very True

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PIP103 2/21/2010 1:02PM

    I needed to hear this today. Thanks for sharing, your blogs are great and your achievements AMAZING!

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TWINGIRLSBOYS2 2/20/2010 11:20AM

    Funny and true!!

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TIDYED 2/17/2010 10:05PM

    So true. I am alwasy happier once I've done whatever I need to do whether it's cook my own dinner or do a workout. Despite what the nasty voice tells me initially.

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MOMMYOFTWINS789 1/19/2010 10:25AM

    true true true emoticon

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OCEANGIFT 1/15/2010 9:48PM

    Truth to Power...

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RUNSTEPHRUN 12/9/2009 10:24PM

    I love how simply you explained that! I totally agree, and this also goes with the idea that if you think positive, it will help you to BE positive! Thanks for sharing...even though I am just now seeing it!

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DESTINY2BFIT 12/8/2009 1:16PM

    Wow!! So so true!!

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DOCLOVER 12/4/2009 3:07PM

    This is such a great way to put it! And so true! I think everyone could benefit from reading this blog, no matter what specific issues they are dealing with! "Just Do It" as Nike says!

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LEROYJL 11/4/2009 10:40PM

  emoticonTO YOU! I RECEIVED A COMPLIMENT TODAY THAT GAVE ME SOME MOTIVATION, THEN I SEE YOUR BLOG. emoticon

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TRACYZABELLE 10/27/2009 7:18AM

    emoticon

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NANNYWM 10/26/2009 3:51PM

    agree!

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BAREADER 10/26/2009 3:41PM

    So true, I agree completely.

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ARMETIS 10/22/2009 11:58PM

    I guess it is just that simple. Great blog.

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MCNKAB 10/21/2009 9:01PM

    Soooooooooooooooo true!

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TESTACAV 10/21/2009 11:32AM

    So true!

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30LBSOVER50 10/18/2009 8:47AM

  So true, hate to go for a walk, but always feel a lot better after I do

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LIQUID11 10/15/2009 5:48PM

    Couldn't AGREE more
emoticon

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STACYR31 10/15/2009 3:33PM

    Great blog. For some reason I've been so tired and unmotivated the past couple of weeks but I know that I need to kick it into gear and push past all of that. Thanks for the motivation to do so.

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UNSTOPPABLEMAMA 10/14/2009 1:13PM

    Ain't that the truth, girl?! Kinda like "putting on your big girl panties" and dealing w/ the fact that certain things are good for us & need to be done ;)

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CINDYRODK 10/13/2009 1:28PM

  So true!!! emoticon

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JENVOSE 10/13/2009 12:32PM

    You are so right. Thanks for some words I needed to hear today!

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GOIN4GR8 10/12/2009 7:45PM

    Excellent point--I'll have to keep it in mind.

Laurie

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ZSAZSAJANNY 10/11/2009 11:31PM

    Oh yes, yes, yes! You're right on the mark. Many times I sure didn't feel like going out for that walk (and now it's a RUN I do) but I did it anyway. Every single time I was glad I did because it made me feel triumphant with the accomplishment of not giving into the NOT now attitude. We have the power to conquer 'even though' we think we don't.

Thank-you for the wise and well-put words.

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GOGOMYA 10/10/2009 4:30PM

    Love it. You're so right. I will try to keep that motto this coming week. I'll let you know how it went.

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JACKLIN11 10/10/2009 3:08PM

    good one!

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DIZEXHALED 10/10/2009 2:28PM

    emoticon

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RLEWIS14 10/10/2009 10:13AM

    Good Advice.

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SUNFLOWERGRRL 10/10/2009 8:39AM

    This is SOOO true. thanks so much for sharing and reminding me today. I was just trying to explain this to my 11-yr-old...we can't always choose our feelings...but we CAN choose our actions. And actions often help our emotions change...for the better. Congrats on your FABULOUS success.

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LAUREN_5904 10/9/2009 3:55PM

  You are very inspirational! I need to drop 40lbs and your example has really helped light the fire under me again. Thanks!!! emoticon

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AWOLF24 10/9/2009 2:56PM

    very true emoticon

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ZARIA9999 10/9/2009 1:31PM

    Thanks for the motivation!!! Thank you.

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BILL60 10/9/2009 12:04PM

    Good advice.

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NIK0827 10/9/2009 11:56AM

    How inspiring! A nurse that I was working with in the hospital recently told me that action = motivation. I think that "even though" means exactly the same thing! Without doing something, it's impossible for us to create motivation to do it again!

Thanks for the great words of inspiration!

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TUBBYSHUKER370 10/9/2009 11:12AM

    Very nice Kitty. Like that a lot.

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CAREWREN 10/9/2009 12:08AM

    "So my point here is, take action first, and very often good feelings and motivation will follow!"

emoticon This helps and inspires me. The right words at the right time. emoticon

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MIS2101 10/9/2009 12:02AM

    emoticon

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STUCKNIRAQ 10/8/2009 11:22PM

    This is a "Perfect Example " why you are a motivator.

Today after only losing a pound this week on Medifast I thought was not worth the money. "even though" I had lost ten pounds since being on the program. You are an inspiration. Thank You!!!




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CAROLJ94941 10/8/2009 9:39PM

    Boy is this true. I did a morning workout 'even though' I didn't want to and I actually enjoyed it and it perked up my morning.

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BABYFACE26 10/8/2009 9:12PM

    Wow, this one really speaks to me. So simple yet so important. Jack Lalanne is 95 years old, and I heard him speak on the tv news yesterday. You know who he is, don't you? Famous boybuilder and athlete and health nut. Anyway, he talked about how if u ask a man if he LIKES working out, lifting weights, etc. the answer will be" No, I don't like it. I like what it does for my body." Thanks.

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STORMTMB 10/8/2009 8:35PM

    So true! Thanks for sharing!

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FLGIRL1234 10/8/2009 8:07PM

    GREAT BLOG!

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THRESHKEEN 10/8/2009 7:50PM

    I like this. Even though. Good. I like to post inspirational things on my mirror so that is what I see in the morning. I think this is going up next! Thanks for the good idea!

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SUSANFH46 10/8/2009 7:29PM

    Thanks for your blog! Even though I didn't want to take my morning walk; I did anyway. :)

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FOTOMAKR 10/8/2009 6:47PM

    Yes I agree 100%
"Even Though" I didn't want to go to the gym today and do an extra 15 minutes, I did it anyway and you know what I feel great!

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GIRL*IN*MOTION 10/8/2009 6:22PM

  So true!!

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DIVALICIOUS7 10/8/2009 6:18PM

    You are so right - I meet my Spark Buddy & workout partner between 4 -4:30 EVERY day. We do interval training for 2 hours. When that alarm goes off between 3 & 3:30 & it's still pitch dark - I think "you're just plain nuts" After I'm on my feet for about 5 minutes I think " still crazy as hell but
see how good you look & how much better you're going to if you just keep getting up& out!! Thanks for sharing Claire emoticon

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PERSONALTRNR 10/8/2009 6:10PM

    I had that experience this morning. I got up at 5:30am to go to the gym "even though" I didn't want. Even as the spin class got started I still didn't want to. I told myself I would just do 30minutes.Well of course once I got started it was great and I did the whole class. Its a great phrase.. and a great thought :)

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FREDDY1232 10/8/2009 6:06PM

    I have to agree with you 100%. I didn't want to go exercise this morning. But I went even though I didn't want to
Good blog!

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LALAFLOWERS 10/8/2009 4:30PM

    How true.. all the points.. THANKS! I hadn't stopped to think about it that way before.

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

My life back in a nutshell

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

As a former personal trainer, I was mortified when I could NOT lose the weight after having our daughter over six years ago. Dozens of failed attempts left me feeling hopeless...like I would never get my old self back. I felt awful...like a big failure...like I was letting myself down and I couldn't stick to anything. I used to help people lose weight and I couldn't even do it for myself!

A lot of the times I didn't go anywhere or do anything because I was depressed and felt ashamed of how I looked. I was afraid of going out and running into someone I knew from back when I worked at Gold's Gym. There are hardly any pictures of me during those 7 years because I would hide from the camera. I missed out on so much during that time! Sad :(

Thankfully, I decided to give losing the weight one last try...I am so glad that I did! I lost 50 lbs in 5 months with a very effective program (www.yourhealthcoaches.com). I have been maintaining successfully and I am working on incorporating more healthy habits into my life. I joined the SparkPeople community to stay motivated and help others in any way that I can.

I feel like I am really living life now and I am helping others get their lives back too! I really enjoy helping other people make the same changes that I did...and I am loving every minute of it!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMUDDIE 3/17/2012 5:14PM

    So you did MediFast?

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CH33RDANC3R 11/2/2009 10:31AM

    emoticon
you inspire me to finally make an ultimatum to really get to my goal weight before Christmas this year it will happen!

Thank you!

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DXTREME45 10/22/2009 2:17PM

    WOW! You are such an inspiring person. I started 3 months ago and am no where near where I should probably be. But that is going to change. I CAN see the change. I just need to be more patient. Thank you again.

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BETHANY6 10/20/2009 12:18PM

    so nice when "one day" is today. love it hard!

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TUBBYSHUKER370 10/9/2009 11:24AM

    Sweet! Way to get it back. Just seeing your picture helps people I am sure.

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KACYBEE15 10/8/2009 8:16PM

    emoticon

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RLEWIS14 10/7/2009 9:00PM

    Very inspirational.

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SAMANTHAFITZ 10/7/2009 11:54AM

    great work!
thanks for the inspiration!!

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NICENAST 10/7/2009 7:12AM

  YOU LOOK GREAT. THIS POST HAS REALLY ENCOURAGED ME. I WANT TO LOSE 35 BY JANUARY. I'M GOING TO CHECK OUT THE WEBSITE YOU REFERENCED AND STAY FOCUSED AND MOTIVATED. CONGRAT & GOOD LUCK!!! emoticon emoticon

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CANDYBENOIT 10/6/2009 11:14PM

    I casn totally relate. I have lost the same 30 lbs for the last 5 yars I am so tired of hiding from the cameras and struggling to lose and then giving up cause I can't seem to break a number. I have been trying to lose these last 20 lbs now for almost a year, I have lost 14lbs this past year and can't seem to get my motivation or drive back to lose the last 20 lbs needed. I am in such dire need of help and motivation to get off these plateaus and get my body moving. I seem to either go crazy for excercise but when I am working out 5 - 8 hours a week and not lose a lb I give up or I don't do anything and just beat myself up. I need help and have joined spark people hoping to find the motivations. Its nice to know other people are going through the same thing. So thanks for the information.


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JAMERZ88 10/6/2009 5:05PM

    Congratulations!

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STEVENTS 10/6/2009 2:09PM

  Congrats.

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BITSY0516 10/6/2009 2:00PM

    I've been overweight since having my son... going on 25 years ago! So I can totally relate to hiding from cameras and being ashamed of meeting people I knew when I was younger. But I have started working out, watching what I eat and made some other changes in my life for the better. Now I love running into people and am hoping to get into some type of work where I can help and motivate people. :-) Congrats on your weight loss and I hope you have continued success.

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DREMARGRL 10/6/2009 1:26PM

    Sometimes it's tough facing up to the fact that you have not done your best. But, you rectified the situation and are back on track. Congrats! Keep up the good work. It IS a lifelong battle. So far, you are winning! XO MaryAnn

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VIRGOGURL4 10/6/2009 1:19PM

    you look great!!! i can definitely relate to hiding the camera...but i guess those camera-hiding days are over for you!

and don't forget to say cheese LoL

Comment edited on: 10/6/2009 1:20:30 PM

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MELTEAGUE 10/5/2009 2:13PM

    Congrats! wish I could find the solution to my weight gain , and maintain as you have ! well done!
you are looking great and the best part is the self confidence you have gained!
you have worked hard! well done!


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TYEASLEY 9/28/2009 8:58PM

    I'm so proud of you. You look good and you're doing good with your success. May your kindness return to 10 fold all the days of your life.

You remind me of one of my favorite quotes: Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting somn kind of battle. ~Plato

emoticon emoticon

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NICOLASZ 9/28/2009 5:00PM

    congratulations!!!!

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NICOLASZ 9/28/2009 4:59PM

    congratulations!!!!

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ALASKAWAKEUP 9/22/2009 7:58AM

    Thanks for sharing. This is what I have to look forward to emoticon

Alaska

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TWILIGHT_FAN_87 9/14/2009 9:48PM

    I can really relate to this. When my clothes became too tight I felt so horrible and I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror. That was when I decided I needed a change. I have a long way to go before I will reach my goal but so far I am doing alright. I have been using the food tracker and have been staying within my calorie intake.

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MISSIEH1 9/7/2009 8:23AM

    Great Job. Your page is very motivating.

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NSIMON116 9/5/2009 6:24PM

    Great Job!!!!!!!!!!!!

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REGGIE2009 9/4/2009 7:26PM

    Hi Jen,
Thank you for wanting to motivate others and share your success. I visited your spark page. You look great! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SONYARODRI29 9/4/2009 5:12PM

    You've done an amazing job and you look amazing too! Congrats!

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STACYR31 9/4/2009 3:27PM

    I can really relate to what you're saying. I had my daugher 3 years ago and I can't seem to get the last 40 lbs. off. I joined SP in June and I'm hoping that I can really get this weight off. You are looking wonderful!

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PINKPUSSYCAT 9/4/2009 2:51PM

    I can soooooooo relate! I too live in PDX and I teach Turbo Kick at 24 Hour Fitness. Yet I'm the fattest instructor there, I swear! I lost 65 lbs once but gained 40 back when I went through a stressful period (bought my first house, I now live in Montavilla!) Your story is motivating to me. Thanks for sharing it!

Laura

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DACIUS 9/3/2009 9:31AM

    I completely understand your concerns about going out. In college I played football and had an awesome body. I floated around the 3 to 5% body fat most of the time (depending on how much beer I had been drinking...LOL)

Anyways, when college was over, I went from 4 to 6 hours in the gym a day to ZERO hours in the gym. But of course I kept eating like I still hit the gym every day. So 110 pounds later I settled into a comfort zone. 6 months ago I ran into an old college buddy. He greeted me with a "Damn man you got FAT!!!".

Not the best welcome I have ever had. But it started me thinking.

Now I am like you. I have lost some weight so far, but I have a new look on life and I am going to get back to my college weight.

Awesome blog!!!

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NIGHTSTAR777 9/2/2009 8:21AM

    Hi Jen,
I do not use any system like that, I eat only real food. But you are doing great. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BIG_SCOTS_LASS 9/1/2009 4:09PM

    Hi Jen,

I had a look at the website you mentioned and it looks like a meal replacement programme - is that correct? Well done for managing to stick to it for so long and losing all your extra weight - you look fab. I know I couldn't do without eating real food for that length of time. But you did what you had to, so well done.

Here's to a successful maintenance.

Charlie x

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