Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Well everyone I feel like I have had it. I don't dare give up now though. I thought my 30th birthday a few weeks ago was going to be my turning point where I was going to make the full fledged effort to make necessary changes in my life....or should I say stay committed to my life changes. Tradegy has stuck several times in the last 2 weeks that had derailed my efforts severly.
Now as life has started to settle down a little bit I am struggling to get motivated again. I know that I have not followed my meal plan quite like I would have liked so stepping on the scale yesterday morning proved to be as scare as I thought it would be. You guessed it an 8 pound weight gain in two weeks. Oh you can imagine how disgusted I was with myself. I must press on though.
I attempted to do my ususal morning work out today, but cut it to 15 minutes instead of 30 because my mind just wasn't in it. I started to go back to eating properly...you know more fruits and veggies and cut out all the high fat and sugar food (as yummy as I may find them to be right now.)
I suppose I'm just looking for motivation from the outside world because mentally I just don't have it right now. I know I need to continue on the journey to be healthy and live a long life but at the same time I just want to throw in the towel proclaiming defeat because mentally my mind just isn't in it right now.
Maybe it just all boils down to just needing to vent. Maybe expressing my anger, frustration, sadness, and discomfort will help me get the motivation that I need. I WILL KEEP MY HEAD UP, CONTINUE ON WITH MY JOURNEY AND I DO REALIZE THAT I DO DESERVE IT NOW MATTER HOW BAD THE SITUATION SEEMS TO BE.