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It's all in how you look at it...

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I have had one strange week - with emotions going from excitement to meeting a new person, discovering through chats/conversations that we seemed to really connect to meeting the 'real' person and discovering that he was NOT who I thought he was. From the misrepresentation of himself with fake pictures to his obsessive behaviours... It's been a real eye opener. With your feedback - I realize I'm not alone in this and well, I guess that makes it a bit easier.

I have also had to deal with the emotions of sending my girls off - last night was my first full day/night alone and it feels weird.

I was emotionally drained by the end of the day as I had hoped this man would back off, but he continued to try to manipulate to try to get me to respond so I did call my service provider and have now blocked him from texting me and I've blocked his e-mails, he's been reported to the dating site and well... if it doesn't stop by the end of this week I'll see what the police can do or suggest to me. After I blocked his number from texting, he called from a 'calling card' number to leave me yet another long voice mail and it's very obvious this man has issues. He goes from saying he's sorry, to he can't believe I did that, to 'anytime you want to chat/vent - I'll be here because I'd rather be your friend than not be in your life at all'... Well it's very obvious that I could never - nor would I ever want ANYTHING to do with this man.

And so - I hope to turn the page on this... and I am getting back to my own focus...


On the SP front - I had a good day! Did 70mins of activity and stayed within my calorie range.

I did not get to the girls rooms - but did book Friday off to make it an extra long weekend as we have Monday off for Canada Day. This is the first year I stay in the lovely city to celebrate - looking forward to perhaps getting out to enjoy some of the festivals. Will have to see what local Ottawa friends are around that I can maybe connect with.

And now it's time to get to my morning workout. The events of the past week are not going to deter me from my determination to reach that 30lbs weight loss mark by Friday!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERRY666 6/26/2012 4:37PM

    Great job dealing with that guy and getting 70 minutes of activity in (!!! Something to be proud of, for sure!). You'll be to your 30 pounds lost in the blink of an eye!

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HOPEFULHIPPO 6/26/2012 12:58PM

    WHAT a crazy week!!!

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MEADSBAY 6/26/2012 10:18AM

    NEWCAZ has a good point- scary/sad to think when he figures out you are too strong of a woman to give in to his pestering, he may move on to some other more vulnerable woman.
Enjoy the solitude-
but I know what you mean- I love to be alone but it feels very strange- esp,. for extended periods.
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DIVEGODDESS 6/26/2012 10:16AM

    That's why I don't like online dating sites. A lot of people lie or put a different picture. Watch out for those psychos and stalkers. He sounds like a desperate guy.
You'll be reaching your 30 lb weight loss soon! Hope everything is great with you.

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DESTDYLAN 6/26/2012 9:45AM

    you did the right thing. Good luck on your journey. :)

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KIPPER15 6/26/2012 7:24AM

    I agree with the above posts, call the police now. He is a creep that needs to be stopped. Good job on staying on track with the emotional roller coaster you have going on in your life. emoticon

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BOGUSANNIE 6/26/2012 7:00AM

    Well done!!! emoticon

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MOONSHINE77 6/26/2012 5:42AM

    I agree with the other posts... the police need to know about this man, if not for your own safety (which is paramount) then for the well-being of the next person he drags into it.

Please be hyper-aware of your surroundings for a while and keep safe.

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COLETTEISGREAT 6/26/2012 5:35AM

    70 minutes is awesome!

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JSALERNO 6/26/2012 5:16AM

    GOOD QUOTES

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NEW-CAZ 6/26/2012 5:04AM

    Helene hun I'd call the police NOW.
Chances are this man has done this before and will do it again if he gets nowhere with you (and I know you're strong enough to resist his "charms" others may not be)

I love that you are not allowing him to get in the way of you enjoying life and getting on with what you want to do.

Be strong. call the police today.

Have a good day babe
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DOOBRIE 6/26/2012 4:53AM

    I'm so sorry that man is still finding ways to pester you. I think you are right in deciding to contact the police soon if he doesn't back off. The sooner the better in my opinion. I think a little visit from the police department should stop him!

I'm so glad he is not stopping you from your determination to reach your goals.

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Choosing Freedom

Monday, June 25, 2012

I am going to begin this new week (and last week of June) liberating myself from the past few days emotional 'stuff'... I'm going to follow the wise words of Bill Cosby...

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it. ~ Bill Cosby

The situation with the 'stalker' guy seems to have calmed down (I hope) ... only one text received later in the day and e-mails - that seem to relay that he's gotten the message. I am no longer replying to any of his messages and found this ... thought it was cute (might have to use it emoticon)

I am going to keep my guard up for a while still and will be more aware of my surroundings, and perhaps even change up my routine a bit (as he found me on Thurs coming off the bus at the main station - may get off at a different stop and walk the rest of the way - it will give me extra 'activity' for the day too).

The girls' sendoff was nice but emotional. My step-daughter treated us out to lunch and then at the airport my oldest realized she forgot her contacts so I'll have to courier those out to her today. She texted me to say they arrived safely and my youngest called too. I got my oldest a cell with the plan that they can call home anytime for free - so we'll be able to keep in touch without problem. And I can send them texts every day if I want to let them know I'm thinking of them. My oldest was more emotional to my surprise too - when I hugged her she started crying and wouldn't let go... needless to say that was hard leaving them after that.

I do hope they'll have a good/positive visit. And I will keep myself busy in positive ways as best I can. Going to maximize the time to also 'de-clutter' their rooms since I both told them to clean it before they left or I would go through it. Muah-ha-ha ... they didn't clean them so I have dibs on it...

So here's to a new week, the last week of June. Let's make it a great one!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRILEY123 6/25/2012 9:05PM

    I love your text message response! Great idea. And I know about the daughter's rooms problem. Sometimes they just need a little help digging out. Mine are both in college and every time they come home it's like a whirlwind has arrived. Hopw the new week is going great!

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MEADSBAY 6/25/2012 5:57PM

    It's a great chance for your girls to test their wings in a safe way- and good for all of you to have some time apart.
My DD has no idea how much crap I throw out from her room in the name of 'vacuuming upstairs'.
Muah-ha-ha- indeed!
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LVMAMAW 6/25/2012 4:17PM

    Good luck on your daughters' rooms! That can be invigorating! emoticon

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BOGUSANNIE 6/25/2012 7:42AM

    How old are the girls?

Enjoy you'd first day of ME time... emoticon

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KIPPER15 6/25/2012 7:27AM

    Dredging out the girls rooms can be fun and informative. They were warned. Hope the time flys for you. Take some me time and enjoy yourself, even though you miss them. Glad the creep is going away. emoticon

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JSALERNO 6/25/2012 6:06AM

    enjoy your time the girls will be home soon enough

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NEW-CAZ 6/25/2012 5:19AM

    YOu'll miss your girls but you have some ME time now Helene.
I hope you've heard the last from creepy, if not call the police, take no chances with your safety.
Have a good week hun.........and I love the error message! emoticon

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STALEYK 6/25/2012 5:18AM

    Whew girl! Sorry it turned "ugly" Scary stuff! Hope he got your message!

I know you will make it an awesome summer!

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GHOSTFLAMES 6/25/2012 4:43AM

    ONE DAY AND ONE STEP AT A TIME WE WILL DO THIS WE ARE WORTH IT.
REMEMBER TO TRACK DAILY YOUR FOOD AND FITNESS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.
FIRST I READ ANY OF YOUR BLOGS.HAVE YOU REPORTED TO THE POLICE ABOUT THE STACKER? I SURE WOULD THEY WILL DEFINATLEY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. WHAT IF HE GETS OFF WITH YOU WHEN YOU ARE WALKING? DO YOU HAVE MACE?IF NOT I WOULD DEFINATLEY GET IT GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SPARK JOURNEY AND WITH THIS STALKER.

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The UGLY Truth

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Watching the movie this afternoon... so ironic with all I've been experiencing. Thankfully no messages via text or calls today, and the e-mails he sent this morning - which makes me think he has gotten the message and offering his 'friendship' and a person I could talk to or vent with anytime... NO THANKS!! I have my lovely SP friends for that emoticon

Seriously though ... the send off with the girls was a bit emotional. There was tension and then my oldest got upset when I hugged her and wouldn't let go. I do hope they have a good visit.

Then as I drove back with my step-daughter she asked me about all that's been going on with me and as I relayed my 'stories'... about this latest 'stalker' encounter, and previous to that, the issue with my sister and how she's no longer talking to me over an incident where I was violated by a man (her step-daugher's husband)... Well friends - it's pretty dis-heartening. I have been given many lessons in life - and they seem to keep coming at me and I wonder about the purpose and truly hope that one day I will get that break and have true happiness.

The "ugly truth"... life is NOT easy. It's not all roses, sunshine and smiles/laughter. What you make of it in how you react to things is what makes the difference.

Sure I am feeling pretty low right now. I'm alone for almost 2 months, and today I'll allow myself to 'sulk' maybe just a little, but going to pick myself right back up tomorrow morning and get a routine going as a single woman, no kids...

I am going to clean this house up - room by room, projects, and I'm going to go OUT and meet real people. No more computer/internet dating sites for this girl.

Sure deception exists in real life too when you meet people, but I am a pretty good judge of character and I am visual and nothing beats looking into someone's eyes and making that connection. That's what I'm after!! I want that spark - that look, across the room or after a bit of time... spending time together doing activities we enjoy ...

So my plan when the girls are gone is to stay on track. Today is a write off but the last week of June is NOT! I still have my goal in view.

The Universe knows what I'm going through it seems delivering these key messages...

We are fragile so that we need beauty. If we never broke, we would never need fixing. We would never know how others have the power to fill hollow spaces in the heart. We would never know the power of books or poems or films or songs, gems from one suffering soul to another, to speak to the spirit. We would never know the power of hands in hands or arms around waists or lips on cheeks, those gentle gestures that light up the world.
~Shirley

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

46SHADOW 6/25/2012 5:04PM

    emoticon

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COLETTEISGREAT 6/25/2012 2:33AM

    emoticon

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SIONED40 6/24/2012 9:34PM

  Remember that the first and biggest step is trully accepting and loving yourself completely. Once you do that, then you will be happy which results in the right vibration to attract that perfect mate. It is when you are OK with the world and yourself that you can be receptive to that right relationship. It will come. Don't let others draw you into their vibration because its pretty easy to see that most people are really not very happy or satisfied with their own lives. You being the same way gives them comfort that they are normal. Believe me, its better not to be normal. We are always here for you. Your past is the past so concentrate only on today and tomorrow because that is only where change can really occur.

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NOCALORIES 6/24/2012 7:06PM

    Life is a challenge. Congratulations for starting the new week with a plan and motives to achieve a beginning to a clean slate. Live today with being joyous on being alive.

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DOOBRIE 6/24/2012 5:48PM

    emoticon

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JSALERNO 6/24/2012 5:30PM

    LIFE IS DIFFICULT. WE JUST HAVE TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT.

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SPUNKYDUCKY 6/24/2012 5:06PM

    Life is hard...but it is also beautiful, challenging, and wonderful. Just when things seem like they can't get worse - they get better. Hang in there...

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BOGUSANNIE 6/24/2012 4:41PM

    You will find the summer just flies by, and you won't get all your projects done, then you will wonder what you did with your time!!! emoticon

I personally can't imagine 2 months without my kids...but I think I would have fun !!! \\If you need a friend, in real life too...let me know :)

I promise...I won't stalk you!

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NEW-CAZ 6/24/2012 4:38PM

    great blog Helene, take care
xx

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BALDWINJ_03 6/24/2012 4:34PM

    Sorry that things didn't go well with meeting your online friend. Keep your head up hun. I know that being alone is not fun (been dealing with it for quite some time) but atleast you can do anything you want, anytime you want!! Enjoy some 'YOU' time!!!

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MJ7DM33 6/24/2012 4:24PM

  Great blog! Take care!

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KDAILEY70 6/24/2012 4:17PM

    Life really can be difficult at times. Having a positive attitude helps make it more bearable. Hang in there.

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MAKINANIMPACT 6/24/2012 4:15PM

    I wish you the best, I hope that you can find someone eventually that will make you happy as you would make someone! Just always keep on guard and keep safety a priority ;( unfortunately we always have to do that I hope that your girls will know how much they are loved, maybe not at this moment but when time comes they will see that!
Wishing you the best in all of your endeavours! Always remember you do have your SP friends to talk to!

Take care and have a great week!

((hugs))

Kelly

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MSLZZY 6/24/2012 4:12PM

    Put your plan into motion and stick to it. Maybe "Mr
Wonderful" will fall off the planet or better yet, get the
hint and move on. HUGS!

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MEADSBAY 6/24/2012 4:01PM

    Life is sure not easy at times!
Great blog.
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ENCOURAGEDLADY 6/24/2012 4:00PM

    My 'stalker' is my abusive exhusband. Remember safety first in everything we do, whether in person, online, on the phone, everywhere.

Keep focused on those end of the month goals & thank you for sharing your experience.

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Keeping the Faith

Sunday, June 24, 2012

He who has faith has... an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly. ~B.C. Forbes
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The past few days have been very trying for me (as my previous two blogs reveal)... but I'm going to keep the faith that good is coming.

I continue with my daily practice of positive affirmations and angel card readings and continue to receive signs that positive things are on the horizon... so I will keep the faith in this.

The latest experience has taught me another hard lesson in how I am too open with some people too quickly. It's my nature - as I am open on here when I blog but I know here I am safe and among friends.

Yesterday I was presented with the very real 'scare' of being stalked as I walked out my door on my way to do my volunteer shift only to find something on my car... wrapped in brown wrapping with my name on it - a dozen pink roses. I never told the guy where I lived but I did tell him during one of our MANY converssations what type of car I drove (but not specifics).

When I texted him about this, I told him this scared me and worried me ... and he replied I have nothing to worry about.

I pray that is the truth. I explained YET AGAIN that I no longer wished to have any contact with him but he kept persisting ... I had to turn my phone off because even though I blocked his number he was using friends' phones or pay phones to get through and leaving me long voice mails professing his love for me (the messages made me cringe inside). I swear - I guess be careful what you wish for. I wanted someone to be madly in love with me... but not this way! I always loved flowers but getting them that way - NOT!

I will keep the faith that one day I will meet my 'true' match - someone who I feel the same about. Someone who is honest and truthful.

For today, I'm dealing with my own emotions as I will be sending the girls off this afternoon. We're going to go have lunch together (with my step-daughter) and then drop them off to the airport.

I will miss them - but it's nice to see they are also excited about seeing their dad - since it's only a once a year visit. My youngest is still saying she wants to stay with her dad for a few years... but again, she does this every year. I told her we'd talk about it later... once she sees how she feels once she is there for about a month (generally by then she's missing 'home').

It's hard ... for all of us. Broken families are not easy - but I am grateful that their father is still in their lives at least in some way. This may be their last 'long' visit as my oldest is getting to the stage where she has her friends and wants to work. And - who knows - if my youngest still decides she wants to live there... then I'll have to deal with that as well.

Today marks the day of endings and beginnings... Going to keep it as positive as I can and 'keep the faith' that all is well in my world!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINDSTAR3 6/27/2012 1:54PM

    I agree with the person above who said you should log incidents and report him to the dating website, particularly since he has admitted to falsifying his profile. I hope he goes away, and leaves you alone, with no further ado.

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CDDANCY 6/25/2012 6:22PM

    I had someone send me flowers, leave long messages. I stopped listening to the messages, and immediately deleted them. He finally got the message after several years. I made the mistake of going out with him a few times because I "wanted to help him". I wish I had gotten a restraining order, for all the fear he caused.

I hope he leaves you alone, the sooner the better!

Cathy

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MSPRIS3 6/25/2012 3:39PM

    WOw, sending roses already? Harrassing you with many calls from different numbers? I would start keeping track if dates, times, EVERYTHING!

I would also report him to the dating website he's on

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KANOE10 6/24/2012 7:58PM

    I agree with a possible restraining order. This guy sounds nuts.
You are wise to focus on one day at a time. Enjoy your time with your girls. The summer will pass quickly.

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MAKINANIMPACT 6/24/2012 4:21PM

    Be very diligent in everything you do and yes I would keep logs. The scary thing is the internet any more, people can take the smallest bit of information and be able to track someone down. Please be careful,

I do wish you the best and I'm hoping that you'll be able to relax and unwind for a little bit! Like I always tell my 15 year old, always pay attention to your surroundings, I hope this ding dong gets the message but it doesn't sound like it! You may have to take it a step further if you have to and do a restraining or but just make you have a lot of documentation..

((hugs))

Take care,
Kelly

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MEADSBAY 6/24/2012 3:20PM

    I know this is a bittersweet day for you, Helene- plus you have that other added stress right now. Please find some time to find a calm and peaceful place within today- do it for yourself.
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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 6/24/2012 12:43PM

    please watch out for this guy I know the feeling to well as I have a problem with my neighbour, wholikes to stand and watch me creepy very very creepy, enjoy your girls today, then have some you time!!!

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BOGUSANNIE 6/24/2012 9:25AM

    Enjoy your girls today and fear not.... The summer is never too long here in Canada emoticon

If you need a hand with anything... Stalker guy or anything... Let me know I will be there in an Ottawa minute!!! Seriously!!!

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JSALERNO 6/24/2012 8:51AM

    YOU DESERVE GOOD TO COME YOUR WAY. IT WILL COME. THE LORD MUST HAVE SOMETHING IN STORE FOR YOU, YOU JUST NEED TO GO OUT THERE AND FIND IT.

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KIPPER15 6/24/2012 8:48AM

    Do not be afraid to get the police involved with your stalker. They are there for that purpose. Be careful. Be glad that your daughters have a relationship with there dad. My stepson with his mother's encouragement, has cut my husband and I out of his life, it is very painful and sad. emoticon

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MSLZZY 6/24/2012 8:30AM

    Make sure to keep your doors locked and let your
phone take messages from numbers you do not
recognize. There is no way to discourage him but
stay safe. So sorry you have to deal with all this.

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HEALTHY4ME 6/24/2012 8:18AM

    Yes do watch out for this guy, my neighbour has had to call the police on a nut that she was dating, I know you haven't gone that far but that sort of makes it even scarier ... just keep your guard up.

As to your dd wanting to go live there, great responses you do so well with your girls.
Have a great respite from everyday kid stuff and I hope this guy gets the message. But do know you can call and say he won't stop calling, has been very annoying now knows where I live.
Take care.

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NEW-CAZ 6/24/2012 8:11AM

    I'd keep a log of these calls and the unwanted interferences in your life and get the police involved Helene, I am growing increasingly anxious by this guys actions and his possible intentions.
PLEASE take care emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 6/24/2012 7:44AM

    you might need to get a restraining order against this stalker. Do what you need to to to protect yourself.

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DARKCHILD 6/24/2012 7:32AM

    Please be careful! If I were you, I would keep a record of the times and dates of these calls. Again, be careful!

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WALIDGAZALA 6/24/2012 7:31AM

    You are very sensible and couragous
You can control things
Keep in touch with SP they support you
And never never loose trust in your faith

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True Colors Revealed

Saturday, June 23, 2012

emoticon emoticon emoticon all for your input on my blog yesterday. You see, I am on my own for the most part and my SP friends are my source of support and counsel at times. Blogging is a way to get thoughts out of my head, on black and white, and helps me to process things while giving me an outside view with your wonderful comments/feedback.

I said yesterday that I was not closing the door completely on the situation, but after yesterday's events I feel it's necessary. He was very persistent with constant calls, texts, voice mails despite my request to give me some space to enjoy this last weekend with my girls. At first I had emailed him to say we would maybe talk on Sunday after they left, but his actions yesterday made me very uncomfortable (to a point where I feel he's an obsessive/stalker type). He begged me to give him a chance and if nothing else to be his friend to help 'motivate' him to lose the weight. While I love to help others and motivate them, I feel if I allowed this - he would want more - so I figure it's best to break all ties. I have blocked his number - and deleted my profile on the dating site - NEVER to go back again!!

I honestly believe I'm old fashioned and will have to meet someone that way... by chance, by fate...

It's time to be happy again.
If you ever have struggled with difficulty, pain, and heartbreak in your life, you may or not know this simple fact. If you want to be happy, you have to decide to be happy, through no matter what may ail you. It is always a time to be happy, even in times of great despair, and immense grief, we have to learn to be grateful for the time we did get to spend with those we loved who are gone from us, we have to be thankful for the things in our life that remain after all that may have been taken from us.

It is your time to be happy again. This isn't just a quote or a statement, being happy is a mindset. Remember that once you are happy, you have to continue to work at maintaining this happiness in your life. Be bold, receive your happiness, and work hard at keeping a happy way of life. ~ Cherry Cola
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I am off to do my volunteer shift at the Dragonboat Festival this morning from 6:30 to 10:30am then I'll go check on my team and cheer them on as they compete in the races.

The rest of the day will be spent at home with the girls as we get them ready to go tomorrow... I have to bring them to the airport for 1:30pm ... then I'm on my own... but never alone thanks to my wonderful SP Family!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSPRIS3 6/25/2012 3:26PM

    Agreed, definately not a good sign when he's become obsessive before even meeting. He should have also honoured your wish to spend the weekend with your childeren, who no matter what, will always come first to you.

Seems like he would be very needy and could cause you to lose yourself, while trying to motivate him.

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1CRAZYDOG 6/23/2012 5:58PM

    If you're like me (and it seems you are!) your gut instincts are generally right. Soooo ... if this man is giving you those kind of vibes, I'd shut the door!!! I think you're right.

I also think that you're SOOOO right to make your girls the priority . You did that very right, too.

Have a good rest of the weekend. You know we're here!!!

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DBELLE39 6/23/2012 12:13PM

    Good for you to make such a hard but important decision. Although I personally agree it was the right decision to make. Enjoy the weekend with your girls!

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MEADSBAY 6/23/2012 10:04AM

    Good girl-
keep busy-
take care of YOU!
My friend, DEBBIEANNE1124, has been a Dragonboat racer for a few years in Oregon (although health issues have pulled her out for now). Do you know her? I had never heard of it before i met her on SP.
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Comment edited on: 6/23/2012 10:05:47 AM

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KIPPER15 6/23/2012 9:49AM

    emoticon Wise decision. Take care of you.

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BOGUSANNIE 6/23/2012 9:13AM

    Hugs Helene, I know this must still be very sad for you. emoticon

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KANOE10 6/23/2012 9:07AM

    It sounds like a good decision to get this guy away from you.

It is time to be happy.

Spark Friends are wonderful support.

Hope you have a healthy day!

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MSLZZY 6/23/2012 8:21AM

    Stepping away from this situation was the wisest move
to make. He wanted more that you were willing or able
to give. You would have been setting yourself up for a
really bad situation. Focus on your girls and yourself
and see what life has in store for you. You can be happy
without someone who wants to control your life.
Good luck. HUGS!

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JSALERNO 6/23/2012 5:55AM

    emoticon

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SEAWAVE 6/23/2012 5:22AM

    As per your usual, you're taking a difficult situation, learning about yourself, and coming out stronger for it. Bravo!

I just read yesterday's blog, and at one point thought the guy might be at the same stage as some of us, having gone through some weight loss. The lying is a hard thing to swallow, but you yourself admitted you wouldn't have looked at him had he not had that false picture.

His follow-up "stalkerish" behaviour, however, is worrisome. Your instincts seem to again be on target. He seems to want to play the victim, and find a saviour (who he would likely blame any failures on). You don't need that in your life (who does???)

So Bravo to you for taking the time for YOU, and taking a step back to get a good look. emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 6/23/2012 5:10AM

    Having read what a sleezeball that guy seemed to be, so false, you are well rid Helene.
You've done the right thing hun, honest. Thank yourself for having some good old fashioned common sense and wisdom and enjoy this weekend with your girls.

We will always be here as a sounding board for you and to support you, you know that.
Some day your Prince will come, of that I'm sure.....and it'll probably be when you least expect it emoticon

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