Tuesday, December 21, 2010
It seems that the emotions of the season are getting the best of me... or perhaps I'm riding in the wave of all that has happened in the past couple of months (my nephew living with me, then deciding not to, job loss, new job, and just plain old single parenting stuff).
I know I have been truly blessed with good fortune, yet I'm feeling some anxiety, issues of confidence and self-esteem with respect to my new position. I had my orientation yesterday and it was a whirlwind day... Last Friday marked the 4 week mark of my having the new job and while it's been wonderful, it is at times a bit overwhelming.
I'm feeling the effects as I try to manage my stress, and my body is in fact reacting I believe to some of the issues I'm feeling... With all the social activities going on, I'm feeling a bit out of sorts being the 'new' person on the block... Today is our staff's pot luck and while I know they are a great bunch - my fear of not fitting in creeps in at times and although it's probably imagined... it's the old me re-surfacing...
Needless to say I'm looking forward to feeling 'UP' again and with the long weekend ahead and quieter week at work next week, I'm sure I will feel better.
On January 3rd our workplace is partnering in a really neat initiative that is again right in line with the SPARKworld! Perhaps that's another one of my fears of 'failing' ... as I'm now part of a team that is all about healthy living, it's another pressure for me to reach my goals - which seem just out of reach all the time. The plateaus, the yo-yoing... it's so frustrating!
I need to get grounded again and it's hard to do amidst the flurry of activities and outings. So I promise to take the time to give myself this gift on Christmas Day - to take a breath, to relax and to regain my composure as I set out my plan to begin 2011 on a high note.
Sorry for the rant friends... hope you all have a wonderful day!