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Moving on... October is going to be quite challenging!

Monday, October 06, 2008

Well ... although I have not been around for my teams, I thought I would write and let you know what is going on. First of all - I want to thank you all for your kind words and wishes.

After consulting with a credit counsellor, it was decided that my best option is to declare bankrupcy and walk away from my house. There is no question that I can't afford to stay here as the bills keep piling up and I have the lack of funds to cover them. It is certainly not the way I wanted to make this move - but after much consideration, I feel it's the best way to start fresh and new debt free.

This means that I have until the end of the month to get ready and make a move by November 1st. I weighed out staying here where I am but vacancy rates for rentals are below 1% here in my current city. So I have decided to make the move to Ottawa as was my original plan. Job prospects seem more abundant out there in comparison to here as well.

It's all a very scary process, moving into the 'unknown'... without knowing if I'll find a job or not, where I will stay, etc., but I can not keep living here and under this type of pressure.

I did a free tarot card reading and it said to be prepared for an upheaval and many changes - so I guess this is it.

I will not be around here as much as my time will be concentrated on maximizing getting myself ready for the move. I will try to check in ... and hope to be back on board once I am settled and hopefully with good news about things going a bit better for me.

In all of this I worry about my girls and how they will handle it but I trust that they are going to be ok - so long as they have me. I told my oldest daughter not to worry about things as it was my job to do so.

I am going to pray that everything will work out for the best.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TOLBLONDEE 10/7/2008 7:04PM

    Glad to hear you are making some decisions. I know it is very hard to make that decision and to make the move. I will keep you in my prayers and pray that you find a place and a job and things go smoothly for you.

Lisa emoticon

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COLEYSMOM 10/7/2008 11:28AM

    Wishing you the very best. emoticon

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MOLLIEMAC 10/7/2008 8:56AM

    All the best- have a safe move and please keep in touch here when you can...MJ emoticon

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KIMUSH23 10/6/2008 7:40PM

    Maybe this is going to open some awesome doors and opportunities that you would otherwise have missed if you stayed where you are...

Don't fret! Things do always work their way out...not always as we planned...but I am a believer in Sylvia Brown and I think that you have pre-chosen your path before you came to using that thought you are ready for just don't realize it...when you get the fleeting moments of deja vu I believe that tells you are on the right path...journey!

emoticonSparkiliously your Comrade in Arms emoticon

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SUNSHINES3 10/6/2008 12:21PM

  emoticon to you.

Best of luck with your move.


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BRENDA_2010 10/6/2008 11:34AM

    Best wished to you. I hope everything will turn out for the best. Thoughts and prayers for you in this time of transition.


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PEARLANN1 10/6/2008 10:32AM

    I will pray for you and your family. I know that things will work out because God don't fail. Keep up the good work with your weight goal. emoticon

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Day 15 - feeling deflated...

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Well the showings came and went and no calls so feeling somewhat deflated about that and so many other things. Weigh in on Friday - not recorded - up 2lbs... and the stress of the financial woes in my life is getting the best of me. On the brink of "something better happen or I'll lose my house"... so feeling quite low again...

Company (step-daughter) is here and I've been playing taxi for her and well again - not the visit I'd hoped for.

Trying to practice The Secret's law of attraction is easier said than done - I sure wish I had a crystal ball to know what my next step should be. I figure I'm due for a break - god willing I am praying for one - all the while trying to appreciate what I have now. Just not feeling very successful at my attempts and the proof is in the lack of progress in so many areas, including my weight loss...

Need to take a step back and re-evaluate things ... so will be out of the loop on SP for a bit - until my step-daughter leaves - and that will be Oct 1st (a new month and hopefully one that will bring some renewed hope my way)...


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JDBINMS 10/3/2008 10:32AM

    Don't give up!!! Life brings us all to a slump every now and again, we define ourselves as winners by getting out of it. You can do it!

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CURVY1955 10/2/2008 11:48AM

    Keep on looking forward and try not to reflect too much on what has past. I do that and it really brings me down sometimes. Keep up the communication with all your Spark Friends and hopefully we all can lift you back up. emoticon

I pray that October will bring you more than you ever have wished for before.

Keep positive my friend.


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GRAMMACATHY 10/2/2008 12:00AM

    Hello Friend,
It is October and I know if you dig deep you have what it takes to get through this trial. Having faith and hope is a much easier way to live. Stay with your principles. Besides half the fun is the struggle. Of course you will only realize that when you look back on it. Right now I am sure it feels awful.

Comment edited on: 10/1/2008 11:59:08 PM

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EOSTAR_45 10/1/2008 5:00PM

    Hope October brings renewed hope, abundance and energy your way.

Blessed be.

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KIMUSH23 9/29/2008 1:22AM

    Hey the 2lbs could be your period, water, if you are strength training you are adding muscle where there was none...and muscle weighs this too shall pass because you will lose those 2 hold tight and re-evaluate as that will help you reaffirm you commitment to your journey...

So Don't beat yourself up...You are a wonderful smart beautiful person...So instead look at yourself in that mirror and know that you will lose your weight and it might not be today but it will be tomorrow!

Have A Positively Sparkeriffic Night emoticon

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TOLBLONDEE 9/28/2008 9:32PM

    Sorry to hear that the visit with your step daughter is not going as you had planned. Its nice to have company, but it is also nice to have them leave. Hope you have been able to have some good times with her.

Seems like these days a lot of us have financial woes. I know we do and it is so hard to not get upset about it and want to take it out with food. Thinking that food will make things better. From expeirience, it makes you feel worse, at least it does for me.

Keep you faith in the knowing that things will get better. With a new month and re-evaluating things, you will get it together. Maybe I need to do that too, re-evaluate. I sure could use top take a step back and look at what I am doing wrong and fix it.

Take care....keep me updated.

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ROWEENA 9/28/2008 2:34PM

    Bless your heart.
I know exactly how you feel. It was not very long ago that I was in the same exact boat as you. I had to sell my house or loose it. You feel in total limbo, you can't move forward or do anything because of this one giant, pressing need. I went through several open houses where no one came. And several showings where nothing panned out. I even had a few who just loved it and were going to make an offer and then no contact. Finally after about six months on the market, I took it off for a while so I could remodel the kitchen and remove the carpet. My inlaws come down to help. I did the kitchen very cheaply, I just removed a dividing counter and relocated the stove and it opened it up to the dining room. Turned my small galley kitchen into a huge one. My mother and father in law laid laminate flooring downstairs, the difference was so dramatic it was beautiful. We shot a virtual tour and posted it and finally after about a year on the market it sold to the very next people who came through. I could not have done it without my in laws help both with the labor and financially. They are a Godsend. I now own a home with no mortgage and it feels really good. For the first time in 30 years, the first of the month came and I didn't have to pay anyone but the utilities.

I only tell you this to let you know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It will come for you too. I loved my old house, I could not believe that everyone who walked into it didn't just fall in love with it too. But alas. Finally the right buyer did come, keep seeing that contract coming. Visualize it. Know that the person who is suppose to own your house is coming to you and will come in the right time. My best friend told me at the time, that I didn't really want to give up the house and that is why it didn't sell. Perhaps that was the hold up. If I can help you at all let me know. I am real good at staging and I do virtual tours so I know a lot about them. If you want, you can send me some pictures or if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask me. I will also say prayers for your speedy sell.
Take care of you,
May all your dreams come true. emoticon

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BRANDIWINE84 9/28/2008 12:36PM

    I am sorry to hear that it's not going so hot - October will be a good one though. Remember, October 1 is World Vegetarian Day, if you were still up for that personal challenge of a meat-free day. I hope you decide to do it!

Keep on focusing on Attracting that which you want and deserve, and it will come to you! Likewise, if you focus too much on the crap, it will keep coming. Now that the Secret's out, we gotta harness those laws and use them to our advantage! And I of course am sending positive thoughts and feelings your way - one of my fave mantras is "the smile you send out returns to you" so send out that vibrant smile and be open to the smiles coming your way :) namaste

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BRENDA_2010 9/28/2008 11:36AM

    Don't give up.

Stay focused!!

You right a new month, very soon and new goals and promises to yourself!!!!


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TAYLOR251 9/28/2008 10:51AM

    Oh, this really breaks my heart, you know what you can do?
Buckle down with your journaling of your nutrition, try and get in a little more walking, or what ever you do for yourself, and then, address just one thing, this week, only focus on it.. Sometimes, when you have a lot on your plate, it is so overwhelming. I know that if I have several things that aren't going so well, its hard to find an answer for anything... So just sit back and look at the big picture, and just pick one thing (maybe even the easiest thing) to solve. Don't try and do it all at once, because it will be over burdensome. I hope you have a better week and can enjoy your daughter. Keep your chin up!

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Counting my blessings...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Well - what change a few hours can make - from feeling like I totally messed up, to getting myself back in focus - taking a good walk - well 2 actually (one tonight with my youngest daughter)... things are looking up!!

1. I am not only having one 'viewing' tomorrow - but received a second call and getting 2 viewings within half an hour of each other emoticon

2. My step-daughter is arriving early tomorrow am (6 or so) - one day early - wouldn't it be soooo cool if I got an offer while she was visiting?! We are going to use the time while the house is being shown to go shop for her as she's attending a friend's wedding - so nice together time! emoticon

3. I got a call for more work coming up in October - temp stuff but hey - I'm getting out there! The words of the recruiter was that she liked to keep GREAT people working (as she got great reviews from my first assignment last Friday). emoticon

4. I said NO twice as I was offered munchies and beer while out on my walk! I stood strong and feel great about it now!

5. I'm going to end the day by taking a nice relaxing bath, meditating emoticon and praying for the right buyer to come along.

My calendar (daily Louise Hay calendar) said today that everything in life happens in the 'right' time... I am hoping the time is NOW as I am sooo ready for change in every aspect of my life!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I am so grateful for this day and for all the great things that are coming my way!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JDBINMS 9/25/2008 11:49PM

    Don't keep us in suspense! How did the showings go? :)

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LISASJOURNEY2 9/25/2008 3:20PM

    You sound so positive-that's wonderful!! I am ready for change too. The best change I could ask for would be abstinence from drinking-I see more and more how depressed I get after a night of beers. Why would I want to do that to myself? Seems like maybe you are the only one on my friends list that maybe understands what I mean. I'm so happy for you!
I need a good walk:)

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JDBINMS 9/24/2008 11:19PM

    Munchies and beer.... on a walk?

I *KNEW* I should of emigrated to Canada!!! :D


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BRENDA_2010 9/24/2008 8:50PM

    emoticonkeep thinking positive!!!

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Day 12 update...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Yes there may be a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow... this is the rainbow going over my home... I have a showing tomorrow - first one with the new realtor so I'm going to send out positive vibes, think great thoughts and envision the perfect buyer coming to buy my home! The Pot of Gold will be to see the SOLD sign on my realtor's sign.

I'm thinking this would be such an awesome GIFT ... my step-daughter who's visiting from Ottawa - to share this news with her - I'd be on Cloud 9!! This is where I want to move - so we can be a family together more often (we haven't seen her since May). And there's also the brother out there (step-son - and PS - hate the word 'step' because they are kind of like my own... I've known them for almost 20 years)... Anyhow - I soooo want this!

So my walk was great! I am continuing with positive actions - making meals for the kids ... so I can enjoy the visit as meals will be ready ahead... and I can stay on track!

Thank you all for listening to my vents, slips and for your encouragement. YOU really make a difference for me!! emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRENDA_2010 9/24/2008 7:16PM

    Good luck at your showing.


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SUNSHINES3 9/24/2008 6:35PM

  I wish you the best of luck in your viewing tomorrow!


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Day 12... Mid-Week - Turnaround point...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Welllll..... I feel like I'm going to a confessional lol... I messed up again yesterday. Didn't log my foods (because I know the numbers would have been NUTS) and well - had some refreshments after my 4 hours of heavy cleaning...

WHY DO I DO THIS?!! I mean when I'm doing it I'm enjoying it - but today feel like CRAP about it... I am no longer looking forward to weigh in on Friday... because I know it will not have changed and/or worse - it will have gone up and it's my own doing! I am trying to be positive and learn from the experience - I am not perfect by any means... and yet I feel frustrated...

So today feeling a bit scattered - but planned out my meals for the day and keeping the calories within the lower range and going to head out for a 1 hour walk shortly... to clear my head and get my FOCUS back.

I want to be successful... I want to push forward - I was feeling so great and now I'm feeling the 'bad' feelings - guilt, frustration, anger... so going to shake those away as I pound the sidewalk and listen to my MP3 and get lost in the music for a bit... emoticon hopefully get my mind back in gear to get my through my challenge and reach my goals!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSHINES3 9/24/2008 6:31PM

  emoticon to you. We all mess up from time to time. I have been there many times. You will be okay, as you are a very strong and positive person .

Take care

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BRENDA_2010 9/24/2008 2:39PM

    Don't beat yourself up. We ALL have our "guilty" days. You need to stay positive and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. I know you can do this. Knowing that you messed up and want to get back on track is a good thing. You just need to do it.

Remember emoticon - emoticon and - emoticon and + emoticon + emoticon + emoticon + emoticon = emoticon and emoticon


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