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Salad Queen

Saturday, March 07, 2009

My new AC adapter came yesterday - I have my home computer back!!:)

My weight is holding steady way up too high, but I have been eating healthy food. Big portions, but healthy food.

Last week, I made a yummy salad of red leaf lettuce, carrots, red peppers, black olives, and a dressing of orange juice, apple cider vinegar, sesame oil, and Mrs. Dash tomato and basil.

Twice recently I've been in professional meetings where we ordered lunch. Both times, I was the only person who ordered salad. Grilled chicken salad, then Greek salad. Yum!

I had blackened tilapia salad at John Harvard's last weekend, and last night I had Carribbean salmon salad at the British Beer Company.

But the one I'm most proud of is the one I just had for lunch: baby spinach, strawberries, fat-free feta cheese, walnuts, sesame oil, apple cider vinegar, and acai berry juice. (I was also going to add a shallot, but the shallot was bad - even though I'd just bought it. Boo.)

It is almost 60 degrees out today - YAY - and we're going to bike 7 miles to Jess' grandmother's house. She is almost 90 and fell the other day and broke her collarbone. Luckily he has a huge family so she's never been alone though.

I love spring!! We had a giant snowstorm on Sunday night/Monday (no school Monday) but now with all this warmth I joked that I have a "waterfront property" because my front lawn is filled with melting snow and is a ginormous puddle.

Still don't have a "plan" - but I have very good ideas for one kind of brewing in my subconscious........

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 3/13/2009 7:09PM

    My laptop is in the shop and it is making me crazy! grrrrrr!

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SEEHOLZ 3/10/2009 4:42PM

    You'll figure it out! You're doing great!
Glad to have you back!

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TERRIANGEL 3/9/2009 7:27PM

    oOh, the salad with the feta and strawberries sounds DELISH!

How'd ya like the 3" of snow today, after wearing t-shirts yesterday? gotta love New England.


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KJNE8O 3/8/2009 12:22PM

    Glad to have you back among the living! :) Looking forward to hearing what the plan is....

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TMAC10 3/7/2009 12:55PM

    PS. So glad you got your AC adapter & have computer access at home once again! I've missed you!

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ZIRCADIA 3/7/2009 12:54PM

    OH MAN, todays lunch sounds DELICIOUS!!! :D You sound very positive and full of some good healthy choices. Keep rockin! :)

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TMAC10 3/7/2009 12:54PM

    yum-o! :) i have been cravings big salads lately myself! i had a salad similar to yours yesterday for lunch... romaine lettuce, strawberries, mandarin oranges, grapes, walnuts & feta cheese! mmm...makes me want to go get another one today!

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New Computer... but at work

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Today I got my old laptop at school replaced by a slightly less old huge chunky PC that takes up way more room on my desk but it's sooooo much faster! I hadn't even realized how much time I'd been wasting just waiting for my computer all the time! So right now it's almost 5:30 p.m. and I really want to get outta here, but I figured I'd check in since I still can't do it from home yet.

Thank you all for all the "love" - this place is really a great resource for the emotional side of the healthy lifestyle - being able to vent my thoughts and feelings and get the supportive feedback is huge!

I am feeling pretty ashamed about how I look these days. I'm squishing myself into pants that are way too tight and that is just not a flattering look. I've been trying unsuccessfully from hiding my body from my boyfriend...he's been making a few joke-y comments, but also asking me how things are going and what my plan is. I told him I can't really have a plan until I have regular access to SP again...which I admit is just an excuse, but I definitely do need a plan. I'm going to have to write the world's longest blog entry one of these days....weighing all my options and coming up with something reasonable. I'll put in a warning at the beginning though, something about how reading a blog entry that long might cause eyesight damage.

My self-esteem is kind of taking a hit. I'm feeling a little less secure about myself even at work...I just don't feel like I've "got it all together" right now.

Honestly, we didn't even take that many pictures on vacation...but I will post a few once I get my computer problems fixed!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WWGAL23 3/6/2009 1:37PM

    hey I am right there with ya sister. I am back to 151 and honestly I dont have any plan put together food or exercise wise. I am squeezing myself into my pants now and I hate that. I also know that once summer hits if I am still at this weight I wont be happy! I cant wait to hear what your plan is gonna are such motivation for me and you always give me great advice. Good luck hun! I know our self esteem will shoot up again soon! until then... emoticon

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LYNN248 3/6/2009 6:32AM

    hi, looks like you had a "break" too.

Mine was longer than expected and right now i'm squeezing into pants too.

I'm back tho, and i check in with your entries this weekend to see what's been going on.

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TERRIANGEL 3/5/2009 11:15PM

    Ya gotta be ready for a plan before a plan can work, so don't put added stress on yourself. When you're ready, you'll do it. Don't worry about Jess, either. He's a guy so he's got to make comments, jokey or not, but he loves you no matter what.

You're a hot mama no matter what the scale says. And if you want to go for a weekend run - call me! The weather is getting nicer out and we're not that far away...lets meet up and do our own 5K or 10K in Metro West!!


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MIMISCA 3/4/2009 10:09PM

    do not get down! i am sure you still are looking fierce - you may not just be at "top notch" physique. and you shouldn't hide your body from your bf - he loves you for YOU! not just what shape you're in - you two are obviously stronger than that! that all being said, i understand where you are coming from of course and i will be ready and waiting for a looooong spark post. we are here to support! i am sure you will figure out what's best for you - whether that's staying on the higher end of your weight range or figuring out a program that is most maintainable for you. you can totally do this and will figure it out! take care and i'm glad your computer is up and running!

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ZIRCADIA 3/4/2009 7:49PM

    *HUGS* I know it's tough when you're not feeling yourself physically. It's hard to feel comfortable and confident in the rest of your life. BUT!!!!! YOU ARE STILL YOU!!!!!! Don't let this brief period of less than superfit drive you nuts. You're working on getting yourself in the right place mentally and emotionally and that is VERY important for your long term healthy success. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're still making the effort to live with healthy choices while you figure out the details and that is OK. *HUGS*

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Longest Spark Hiatus Ever

Monday, March 02, 2009

So apparently a six-year-old laptop is so old that it's hard to find replacement parts for it. I considered getting a new laptop, but instead I came over to my parents' house, which is where I am right now, with my day off from school due to snow, and my dad - a computer expert - figured out exactly what I'd need and ordered it for me. So hopefully in about a week I'll be Sparking regularly from home again.

So lately I've been kind of doing the semi-healthy freestyle deal where nothing is planned out and when I think of it I make healthy choices, but not all the time. I've been working out probably about four times a week, probably on average an hour a session, including strength training and cardio. Usually at restaurants - and for me it's different that I'm actually GOING to restaurants - I've been trying to order as healthy as possible, but once in a while I'll just get pizza. At the grocery store I've been buying lots of healthy natural things... but including things that have been known triggers for me in the past, like peanut butter (the kind that has one ingredient: peanuts) and whole wheat bread.

My weight...well, this is really embarrassing, but it has been holding steady at approximately 159 now for about a week. I really want a steady weight, even if it's higher than my previous goal weight. I also really want to be able to eat at restaurants and not have to always pre-plan. Right now I am actually above my healthy BMI range though - the top healthy weight for 5'6" is 154.

I'm not really sure where I'm going to take it from here. I've been reading so much that says that one's weight is biologically driven and if you don't accept that, you're setting yourself up with an endless battle with your biology, a battle you will never win. I'm actually paraphrasing there from _Overcoming Binge Eating_, a book I just finished reading that was written back in the 1990s. The program recommended in the book has a goal of normalizing eating, and suggests that a binge eater should try to accept this goal over a goal to lose weight. It suggests that you "monitor" (e.g., record) what and when you eat without needing to record the exact amount or count calories. You also record your feelings at the time and note whether you consider the eating excessive (e.g., a binge). After you get used to monitoring, you start planning out WHEN you'll eat - not necessarily what or how much. You plan out three meals and three snacks a day. You still monitor. After you get used to doing that, you develop a list of alternative activities to binge eating, and you also develop your problem solving skills. I read a lot of programs but don't always follow them. This one is diferent than what I've tried before..

One of these days I'm going to have to do pros and cons of trying to re-achieve a lower weight (like 135) vs. just trying to achieve and stay at the top of the healthy BMI range. It's hard for me to really try anything new when I don't have regular access to a computer for SparkPeople - man do I depend on this website!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I agree. I believe weight is biologically drivin to a certain point. It's harder for some of us than those who are 'naturally thin'. Both of my parents were obese. A lot of it is genetic. Anyone CAN lose the weight but its really hard at times. The closer you get to goal the harder it is too. That's what's been my downfall. I can't seem to lose more no matter what I do. Not to be too personal but are you on the birth control pill? If you are, I'd highly suggest going off it at least to lose the weight you want to lose. I could not lose ANYthing while on it, no matter what. I went of it and that's when I started my weight loss journey.

I've been at a plateau the past cpl of months (I went back on the pill). I think that's part of my problem again. I'm going off it again to 'prove it' to myself. I've been working out 5 days a week and burning 2700-3000 cals a week plus eating in my range still nothing. Email me if you want more details about it.

Eating out is difficult. Even if you try to be healthy, their foods are filled with hidden fat/cals. Try not to eat out as much as you can help it, or at least get used to menus from certain restaurants so you know what to order in case you can't log on and look at a menu 1st. A lot of those so called healthy salads have 900+cals in them! Always get dressing on the side etc. I still have to log my foods every single day if I don't I either eat under or over my cal range. For some of us (like myself) it will always be a never ending battle with food. I'm still a Fat girl not just in a smaller body. I have moments I would totally binge and eat a whole tray of brownies if I could. My solution is to keep all of that out of my house. I can't bake anymore unless I give it right away. Sweets are my downfall. Recognize what yours is, treat yourself to it now and then while out but don't bring it into your home. 1 piece of cake for example is still way better than 1 whole cake! haha You can do it!

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TERRIANGEL 3/5/2009 11:11PM

    Hi there,
Good to have you back!! You went and became a motivator while your computer was down, by the looks of things!! emoticon emoticon

don't go stressing about your weight. You're eating healthy most of the time, which is a great thing to do. ANd you're still working out an hour at a time most days, so VOILA! ;)

Was your trip awesome?

Later chica,

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ZIRCADIA 3/3/2009 4:16PM

    Hey girl -- sounds like that new plan to normalize eating is really interesting. Also I'd recommend checking out my entry from yesterday the article from Figure Athlete called "Why Scales are for Suckers". It might help your mentality in choosing your goal weight. *shrugs* AND *HUGS* I've missed ya! :)

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SEEHOLZ 3/3/2009 2:57PM

    WOW-- this is quite the powerful blog for me! I have kind of gained some weight myself--- I weigh around 170 which is at my top of my range and that number is actually kind of scary to me. I feel like I just don't want to do the extreme ANYMORE-- so I don't and eat what I want and this is what happens. I still deal with stress eating... and binging,but lately I am much more at peace with myself, my body, my life---- and that makes me not want to binge. Does that make sense? For me, it's all about finding my inner motivation to want to eat healthy.... to be healthy--- that does not mean to just diet and constantly think about eating etc! I so hear you on eating at restaurants-- it's something skinny, happy people do--- one of the greatest advantages that I did notice was that my workouts rock! I have energy to work out harder and I don't get those horrible blood sugar/fatigue crashes all the time!

Do you still count calories? If yes, how many appr have you been eating while gaining that weight? Plus, one of the biggest advantages you got over me is that you actually CAN loose weight--- unlike me, hence my lack of motivation! No kidding!

Thank you for this blog-- for the sincere honesty and the biological #!

I miss ya! Welcome back!

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BLUEBOOEYES 3/3/2009 12:17PM

    It's good to at least get an update on you. Just keep a positive attitude and use your head when you eat (which it seems like you are doing). I'm sure I speak for many people on here when I say we miss you!

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MIMISCA 3/3/2009 11:24AM

    well i don't think you need to be embarrassed about where you're weight is right now. i am sure you look better at 159 than you ever have before, since you have more muscle and are obviously in better shape. i can totally relate though of course! sometimes it just feels so out of our control. it sounds like you are really conscientious about the whole thing and will figure out what's best for you.

we can't wait to have you back (if you couldn't tell by the plethora of comments)! i hope your computer is up and running quickly. take care and be sure to post pics from the vacay AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!

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TMAC10 3/3/2009 10:06AM

    i'm so glad you are (almost) back! :) we have missed you & i was wondering how you were/how the cruise was/whats been going on. very interesting story.. im excited to see where it all takes you!

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RA4945 3/3/2009 9:33AM

    Hey Susan, we have missed you! Hope to see you back more regularly when your PC is fixed. I am also anxious to hear about your vacation and see some pictures!

I totally agree with focusing on stopping the binging before focusing on calorie counting. Once that monkey is off your back, you can put your energy elsewhere. I'm truly wishing you all the best - and great health most of all!

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LILTROUBLE 3/2/2009 10:23PM

    Welcome back. We missed you.

You bring up so many good points and a good perspective. I am glad that you are being healthy and enjoying life. That is IMPORTANT. And with all the exercise that you do I am sure that you look and feel great.

That book sounds good and I will have to pick it up.

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BRUIN2 3/2/2009 10:07PM

    Great to hear that your pops figured out how to fix your laptop!

Interesting theory - good luck finding what works for you!

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    we miss you!

Comment edited on: 3/2/2009 9:58:05 PM

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KJNE8O 3/2/2009 8:48PM

    Interesting stuff on the binge eating and maintaining a healthy weight. Really makes me go hmmm as well.

We miss you s hurry up and get those computer parts and get back online!

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PAMELA984 3/2/2009 7:57PM

    You depend on SP and we miss you! Would love to hear more about the cruise though!

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Computer Trouble!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Hi everyone! My trip to the Dominican Republic was WONDERFUL! Unfortunately, as soon as I got back, my laptop charger somehow set fire to itself and a new one is being ordered online, so I haven't been able to get back on SparkPeople........well, I had a chance to read SOME of your blogs before my computer died....

I've been desperately wanting to blog about my future healthy lifestyle plans, but I can't do it from home, work is too busy, and right now I'm at my boyfriend's and I've been hogging his computer all evening working on a report for school and now HE wants to use his own computer - only fair, right? So I will have to check in again soon. I miss my Spark!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILTROUBLE 2/24/2009 9:51PM

    Welcome back. Can't wait to hear about it!

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ZIRCADIA 2/24/2009 4:34PM

    WE MISS YOU, TOO! :) Can't wait to hear all about it!

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SEEHOLZ 2/24/2009 11:19AM

    You are a true Sparker! Man, glad to hear you're back and that you had a great time!

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MIMISCA 2/24/2009 11:02AM

    we will be patient but i can't wait to hear all about it!!!

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TRACYZABELLE 2/24/2009 10:09AM

    Welcome back! Can't wait to see pictures!

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RA4945 2/24/2009 10:03AM

    Welcome back! I can't wait to hear about your vacation and see some pictures! emoticon

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FRIZGIRL 2/24/2009 6:57AM

    Can't wait to hear about it and hope your computer is up and running soon!

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PAMELA984 2/24/2009 5:50AM

    Glad you had a good time - can't wait to see new pics

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FITGIRL15 2/24/2009 12:59AM

    Good to hear you had a wonderful time in the DR!

I can't wait to hear about your trip and your new plans! I know how you feel about missing Spark! I missed it too during my holidays too!

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JENONTHEROX 2/24/2009 12:53AM

    hey welcome back from the trip! looking forward to reading all about it! emoticon

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Days 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Sorry I fell off the face of er...SparkPeople there for a few days! Major major busy-ness at school the past few days - I am a special education teacher and we have had SO MANY team meetings and evaluations lately!! On top of that, my school's entire internet connection was out for over a week. I do a lot of my paperwork online, so it was awful! But the reward is so sweet - ten days OFF!

I will admit that my diet and exercise have not been perfect the past few days, but I am not going to worry about it. I feel like I was giving my body what it was asking me for, and that is a good thing. I was at the gym alllll morning today.

We have to get up at 3:30 a.m. tomorrow for our early flight!! But we'll be in sunny, warm Puerto Plata at 2 p.m. YAY. I am SO excited. Our resort has so many activities too - a trapeeze, golf, a climbing wall, boogie boarding, etc......and we'll probably do a snorkeling trip. And we also get unlimited top-shelf drinks and tickets to all the restaurants - Japanese, Mexican, Italian, grille, and buffet. Because my attitude going into this is that being active and fully living is fun, and for me that DOES include enjoying food. Denying that I love good food makes me a little bit of a less vibrant person. I want to take advantage of all our resort has to offer.

Have the happiest of Valentine's Days everyone, and make sure to tell those you love how much you appreciate them and how amazing they are! I will be back on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 2/18/2009 8:00AM

    Hope you are having a blast sweetie!!

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FITGIRL15 2/17/2009 12:41PM

    Have a GREAT TIME!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TERRIANGEL 2/15/2009 9:50PM

    It's here! It's finally HERE!! WAHOOO!!! Have a fabulous time, and I can't wait to hear all about it.

emoticon emoticon

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MIMISCA 2/15/2009 10:48AM

    sounds like an amazing trip - and i can't wait to hear all about it! have fun enjoying everything that your resort has to offer and be sure to take a lot of pics!

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MIMISCA 2/15/2009 10:48AM

    sounds like an amazing trip - and i can't wait to hear all about it! have fun enjoying everything that your resort has to offer and be sure to take a lot of pics!

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SKYFYRE 2/15/2009 8:54AM

    Have a fabulous time! I agree, enjoy ALL the amenities including the food! This is a vacation, and then you will be back at it! Woohoo Puerto Plata here you come!!! Have fun!

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GERMANPICKLE 2/15/2009 1:55AM

  hope you have a fabulous fabulous time!

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LILTROUBLE 2/14/2009 9:17PM

    Have fun. Sounds amazing. So are you going to come back engaged? ;)


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SEEHOLZ 2/14/2009 4:00PM

    WOW-- soooo cool! Have fun!

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SWEATONCEADAY 2/14/2009 3:15PM

    have a great trip!

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PAMELA984 2/14/2009 2:04PM

    You will have a wonderful time - be sure and take lots of pics to share. We will keep the cold weather and snow around until you get back - lol!

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KJNE8O 2/14/2009 1:59PM

    Have a great vacation!!!! And don't worry about what you're eating... have fun, be active, and we'll be here waiting for you when you get done!

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ZIRCADIA 2/14/2009 1:55PM

    HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!! :D

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BRUIN2 2/14/2009 1:48PM

    A trapeze?!?!?! How cool!!!

Have a blast!!!

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