Computer Trouble!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Hi everyone! My trip to the Dominican Republic was WONDERFUL! Unfortunately, as soon as I got back, my laptop charger somehow set fire to itself and a new one is being ordered online, so I haven't been able to get back on SparkPeople........well, I had a chance to read SOME of your blogs before my computer died....

I've been desperately wanting to blog about my future healthy lifestyle plans, but I can't do it from home, work is too busy, and right now I'm at my boyfriend's and I've been hogging his computer all evening working on a report for school and now HE wants to use his own computer - only fair, right? So I will have to check in again soon. I miss my Spark!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILTROUBLE 2/24/2009 9:51PM

Welcome back. Can't wait to hear about it! Report Inappropriate Comment

ZIRCADIA 2/24/2009 4:34PM

WE MISS YOU, TOO! :) Can't wait to hear all about it! Report Inappropriate Comment

SEEHOLZ 2/24/2009 11:19AM

You are a true Sparker! Man, glad to hear you're back and that you had a great time! Report Inappropriate Comment

MIMISCA 2/24/2009 11:02AM

we will be patient but i can't wait to hear all about it!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

TRACYZABELLE 2/24/2009 10:09AM

Welcome back! Can't wait to see pictures! Report Inappropriate Comment

RA4945 2/24/2009 10:03AM

Welcome back! I can't wait to hear about your vacation and see some pictures! Report Inappropriate Comment

FRIZGIRL 2/24/2009 6:57AM

Can't wait to hear about it and hope your computer is up and running soon! Report Inappropriate Comment

PAMELA984 2/24/2009 5:50AM

Glad you had a good time - can't wait to see new pics Report Inappropriate Comment

FITGIRL15 2/24/2009 12:59AM

Good to hear you had a wonderful time in the DR! I can't wait to hear about your trip and your new plans! I know how you feel about missing Spark! I missed it too during my holidays too! Report Inappropriate Comment

JENONTHEROX 2/24/2009 12:53AM

hey welcome back from the trip! looking forward to reading all about it! Report Inappropriate Comment

Days 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Sorry I fell off the face of er...SparkPeople there for a few days! Major major busy-ness at school the past few days - I am a special education teacher and we have had SO MANY team meetings and evaluations lately!! On top of that, my school's entire internet connection was out for over a week. I do a lot of my paperwork online, so it was awful! But the reward is so sweet - ten days OFF!

I will admit that my diet and exercise have not been perfect the past few days, but I am not going to worry about it. I feel like I was giving my body what it was asking me for, and that is a good thing. I was at the gym alllll morning today.

We have to get up at 3:30 a.m. tomorrow for our early flight!! But we'll be in sunny, warm Puerto Plata at 2 p.m. YAY. I am SO excited. Our resort has so many activities too - a trapeeze, golf, a climbing wall, boogie boarding, etc......and we'll probably do a snorkeling trip. And we also get unlimited top-shelf drinks and tickets to all the restaurants - Japanese, Mexican, Italian, grille, and buffet. Because my attitude going into this is that being active and fully living is fun, and for me that DOES include enjoying food. Denying that I love good food makes me a little bit of a less vibrant person. I want to take advantage of all our resort has to offer.

Have the happiest of Valentine's Days everyone, and make sure to tell those you love how much you appreciate them and how amazing they are! I will be back on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 2/18/2009 8:00AM

Hope you are having a blast sweetie!! Report Inappropriate Comment

FITGIRL15 2/17/2009 12:41PM

Have a GREAT TIME!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

TERRIANGEL 2/15/2009 9:50PM

It's here! It's finally HERE!! WAHOOO!!! Have a fabulous time, and I can't wait to hear all about it. Report Inappropriate Comment

MIMISCA 2/15/2009 10:48AM

sounds like an amazing trip - and i can't wait to hear all about it! have fun enjoying everything that your resort has to offer and be sure to take a lot of pics! Report Inappropriate Comment

MIMISCA 2/15/2009 10:48AM

sounds like an amazing trip - and i can't wait to hear all about it! have fun enjoying everything that your resort has to offer and be sure to take a lot of pics! Report Inappropriate Comment

SKYFYRE 2/15/2009 8:54AM

Have a fabulous time! I agree, enjoy ALL the amenities including the food! This is a vacation, and then you will be back at it! Woohoo Puerto Plata here you come!!! Have fun! Report Inappropriate Comment

NTRICK 2/15/2009 1:55AM

hope you have a fabulous fabulous time! Report Inappropriate Comment

LILTROUBLE 2/14/2009 9:17PM

Have fun. Sounds amazing. So are you going to come back engaged? ;) Enjoy! Report Inappropriate Comment

SEEHOLZ 2/14/2009 4:00PM

WOW-- soooo cool! Have fun! Report Inappropriate Comment

SWEATONCEADAY 2/14/2009 3:15PM

have a great trip! Report Inappropriate Comment

PAMELA984 2/14/2009 2:04PM

You will have a wonderful time - be sure and take lots of pics to share. We will keep the cold weather and snow around until you get back - lol! Report Inappropriate Comment

KJNE8O 2/14/2009 1:59PM

Have a great vacation!!!! And don't worry about what you're eating... have fun, be active, and we'll be here waiting for you when you get done! Report Inappropriate Comment

ZIRCADIA 2/14/2009 1:55PM

HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!! :D Report Inappropriate Comment

BRUIN2 2/14/2009 1:48PM

A trapeze?!?!?! How cool!!! Have a blast!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

Six days to go.......

Monday, February 09, 2009

And I took an unplanned cheat day. I guess it was inevitable - I was dreaming about cookies, cake, and ice cream, I was watching my boyfriend eat things I desperately wanted (he gets those cute little single-serving Reeces Friendly's sundaes you can buy at the grocery store), and even what I was reading reinforced my desire to eat:
1. I read _Health at Every Size_ which suggests that you're much healthier if you stop trying to control your weight and instead just follow your body's cues for hunger/fullness.
2. I read some article online recently that said that only 20 percent of people in the world say their diet is healthy (how could they possibly survey enough people to know this?? but still interesting) and only 16 percent of Americans say so. I say heck yeah my diet is healthy, so I am in the top 16 percent?! Yikes!
3. I apologize for not giving proper credit, but someone - I can't remember who - pasted an article into their SP blog the other day suggesting that we need "cheat days" to bring leptin levels back to normal.
4. I'm reading _Overcoming Binge Eating_ and right now I'm only at the beginning, and the stuff on binge/purge is TOTALLY grossing me out - I can safely say THAT is not my problem, but one description hit me so hard I read it out loud to my boyfriend. I'm paraphrasing here, but basically it described a pattern of someone dieting (which the book defines as ANY attempt to restrict calories in order to influence weight/shape - so yup, I'm "dieting" by that definition) for weeks or months at a time, followed by a period of binge eating, with the result of highly variable weight. HELLO, that is ME. The book hints that one key component of overcoming binge eating is to stop dieting.

So. I'm feeling at a crossroads. How much do I loooooooooooooove being thinner than I ever was in my teens and twenties??? I love what my body can do now, I love feeling gorgeous, I love my tiny little pants! But I HATE constantly obsessing/counting/feeling guilty, not being able to get full pleasure/satisfaction from my food, getting all weird about/avoiding parties, restaurants, and social situations.

Tonight I didn't even get pleasure from my "cheat day" (which was really more of a "cheat half day" because it was a normal day until about 2 p.m.). I went from hunger to uncomfortable fullness too fast to be able to really enjoy food at any point. It was disappointing, really. Either way, I hope that having had a cheat day will have done what I needed it to do, which is to just give me that little extra oomph behind my step, and to make it through the next six days strong until vacation.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARLIE13 2/12/2009 11:40AM

I don't know what other suggestions you have already received or tried but Jillian Michaels philosophy on cheat meals is to train yourself to call it a "high calorie" day. She says that your body does need it (may be that leptin thing?) but it tells your metabolism that you aren't starving. The high calorie day has a cap...like 2000 or so, so you don't just go all out and perhaps set yourself up for binging. She also doesn't like that people call them cheat meals. It's negative and trains you to think poorly about yourself for having what you consider is a cheat. Also, to ward off eating super clean and then falling into temptation (if you're that type of person) she suggests to allow 200-300 calories a day of whatever it is that you want. If it's chocolate that you normally will binge on then allow 200-300 cals a day of chocolate, or ice cream...or whatever. You have to work it into your allowance though. And making the smartest choices as you progress. Her deal is PB cups. If you started off with regular Reeses PB Cups...ok. As you progress, switch to organic, dark chocolate PB cups...the healthier version. Anyway, I think you're doing great. You're a work in progress and you're not going to get this down pat, overnight or even within a month or maybe even a year. But it's a process that you are working on and keep fine tuning until one day....it's not going to be such a big deal. Keep at it girl!! Report Inappropriate Comment

ZIRCADIA 2/11/2009 7:30PM

Maybe if you regularly have cheat days you won't feel such a need to stuff stuff stuff those normally "off limit" foods. I think that's what most people that binge have problems with -- having foods being off limits, then going crazy with them, then restricting again. I ate a whole box of chocolates at a friends house a couple weekends ago and although it was primarily emotional eating, I also realized I hadn't had chocolate in quite some time... so I bought some chocolate the next time I went shopping (individually wrapped Dove Dark Chocolate). By allowing myself permission to have some when I want some, I don't go crazy eating it to the point that it's either gone or I'm gonna explode just because OOH OPPORTUNITY TO EAT CHOCOLATE HAS COME MY WAY!!! You know? I also read about a really great strategy along the lines of "I can eat that cupcake tomorrow" which helps avoid opportunity eating when you're not truly hungry either. It's also related to the idea of mentally giving yourself permission to eat that food if you really want to. This mental part of this whole thing is NUTS. *HUGS* Best of luck figuring out where you want to be with things anyway. Oh also I try to plan parties as my "cheat meal" of the week or restaurant outings, etc., so that I don't obsess about the food at those occasions. If I see a healthy option that's appealing, I go for it, but if not, I order what I want and I still try not to overstuff myself. I am an admitted clean plater so I have a hard time with not finishing everything at those occasions even when I'm full. Report Inappropriate Comment

LILTROUBLE 2/10/2009 11:05PM

The big thing is that you are doing awesome. Listening to your body and not over indulging. You are doing great. Report Inappropriate Comment

FITGIRL15 2/10/2009 9:48PM

Cheat days helped me thought my diet for many months! Don't beat yourself up... it's all good! If you save your next cheat day for your vacation you'll be in great shape for the trip!!! Keep your spirits up... I'm sure you'll look fantastic on your holiday with or without this cheat day!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

TERRIANGEL 2/10/2009 8:49PM

You're gonna be fine, hon. I have no doubts. And ya know what? A "cheat half day" after all the hard work and determination you have given over the last couple weeks is nothing in the big scheme of things. In 6 days, you're gonna be a hottie in a bikini on the beach. Aaaahhhh..... Report Inappropriate Comment

RA4945 2/10/2009 1:18PM

I just love your blogs, Susan. I know what you mean about being at a crossroads. There are so many variables to trying to get healthier. It seems to bring out every doubt and insecurity, yet so many rewards as well. I hope we can both get to the point where we really trust our body's cues and eat accordingly. I do believe God instilled that in us but we warped it by ignoring those cues for too long for whatever reasons. But I believe we can and will get there if we don't give up. I also think that you help yourself through blogging as well as many other people. Thank you for your insight and honesty. It's so refreshing. Report Inappropriate Comment

SILLIANGEL 2/10/2009 11:42AM

From reading several of your blogs and observing the patterns you seem to have, it feels to me like it might be time for you to put a little trust in yourself. At this point in your journey you should no longer have to count/obsess/feel guilty. You know the foods you should be eating and the portions you should be eating. You know how often you should be exercising. You also know that it is not ALWAYS going to be feasible to practice perfection!!! You need to trust your decisions and practice forgiveness. This week I haven't tracked at all. I know that sometimes I get completely off my game and I have to come back to tracking just go find my groove again, but lately, I've just been putting trust in myself and it makes me far more conscious of what decisions I'm making. My opinion has always been that health can be an 80/20 thing. Of course I'm going to try to live in a healthy way all the time, but if I can be awesome 80% of the time, I'm in pretty good shape. I know it's difficult, but think of a child and how they don't think they are ready to do something on their own. If you push them to test the waters, soon enough, they're doing amazing things they didn't think they had the power to do. And if they mess up or fall down, you better believe they don't dwell on it. They get right back up and try even harder. Just give yourself credit for being able to be healthy without the obsessing and you'll surprise yourself with what you're capable of. Report Inappropriate Comment

SEEHOLZ 2/10/2009 11:05AM

I don't think I need to really tell you that I so get what you're talking about-- especially the feeling "weird" part-LOL! I think trying to do this SF challenge showed me that it is not good for me to tell myself that I cannot have something--- I am one of those people that needs to be able to "control" what I do want to eat, not eliminate any one thing, just because! Thank you for reinforcing this for me-- being a binge eater is indeed something that makes me not a "normal" eater, so I cannot go along with other normal eaters! You totally made that clear in my head! You so got this girl- 6 more days until vacation! I love you for your honestly, your persistence and your commitment! You are a true source of inspiration for me! Report Inappropriate Comment

TMAC10 2/10/2009 8:54AM

i understand this constant battle oh too well. especially now with being single again...it's like i dont want to miss out on fun times with friends just because i don't want the calories that come along with going out to eat or going out for a few beers. i've found that calorie cycling really helps me. it gives me at least 2 days a week where i'm "allowed" more calories than the other days and i usually plan "outings" on those days. Report Inappropriate Comment

KJNE8O 2/10/2009 6:52AM

It was me with the Blog on the Cheat Days. And yeah - we need to learn how to live like this for the rest of our lives so the diet mentality doesn't really work! Good luck with your journey to find a balance for yourself. I know you can get there! Start with some positive thoughts like "I am healthy", "My body is at its ideal weight", "I have a healthy relationship with food..." Stuff like that and see if it helps. Report Inappropriate Comment

JENONTHEROX 2/10/2009 12:29AM

I've also heard that having a higher calorie day "kicks starts your metabolism" -- essentially so your body doesn't think it's in starvation mode. Apparently this is most true when you have less weight to lose i.e. less than 10 lbs. But also it can give you some peace of mind... what's all the hard work for if you ALSO can't enjoy one cute little single-serving of (omgggg...) Reeces Friendly's sundaes once & a while?! Report Inappropriate Comment

SKYFYRE 2/10/2009 12:05AM

Do you ever feel like this battle is a teeter totter? I do! Don't forget your fiber=fullness idea, I think it works, I emploed it today. I think a cheat here and there is OK, it is when a cheat turns into a crazy unstoppable binge that it is a problem. You know your triggers, mind them! Good Job on stoppin after a 1/2 day cheat! Report Inappropriate Comment

Vacation starts one week from today!

Sunday, February 08, 2009

I weighed 143 again today, so it wasn't just a fluke yesterday. Blah, but oh well.

I've been doing REALLY well with bedtime. Trying to save money, not going out at night, making my own dinner rather than going to restaurants, and sticking to a consistent sleeping schedule all really go together. I haven't missed going out at night because getting up early on the weekends, we have so much more time during the DAY!

This morning I went to Step Interval - that class is really hard! Then there is a 15-min ab class, then a 15-min stretching class, and then I rode the bike for 20 minutes.

This afternoon we did a bit of shopping - something I haven't done much of lately (except for groceries, of course) to save money, but I just bought a few things on sale including new workout clothes, so now I can't wait to go to the gym tomorrow to wear them!! I got tight gray capri-length pants, and a peachy-pink V-neck exercise top. And a couple other tops I can wear next week in the Carribbean. :) :)

My aunt and uncle started Weight Watchers last week. Apparently the competitive nature of doing it together is really working for my aunt, and she managed to lose 4 pounds in her first week, one pound more than my uncle who actually needs to lose far more weight. He is working with a personal trainer and loving it! And she is taking line dancing twice a week. They're both using the treadmill at home.

Best of all, I actually learned something from talking to my aunt. She gets 22 points a day, which I remember from my own stint at WW as being such a tiny amount of food. But she said she's never hungry because she eats so many vegetables. I actually started using WW and SP at the same time (Jan. 2007) and so I would track all my food on SP and then use that info to calculate my points. I DIDN'T subtract "zero point" foods like vegetables when I was calculating my points, so as a result I never trained myself to think of vegetables as a free food like many WWers do. Well, I still believe that no food is "free," but I'm finally starting to get it a little more about the veggies. You can really fill yourself up on practically no calories. Case in point - I just had a 148-calorie salad for dinner and it was huge and filling. 148 calories!! Not to mention how incredibly heathy a salad is......mine was baby spinach leaves, tomato, red pepper, carrots, a few herbs, and some calorie-free dressing. This is something to keep in mind after vacation.

And on the flipside, some of the foods I was cooking over the past few months were kind of encouraging me to want to overeat. I'd batch-cook meals that were very healthy, but almost too delicious. Like whole-wheat pasta dishes, for example. I need to choose foods that don't hit my trigger button, and that take a little effort to eat. I don't know if others need to think about all these things, but I have big food willpower issues, so whatever little things I can do to slow myself down helps! Even heating up my food until it's too hot to scarf down helps.

Also...I want to keep these things in mind on vacation. Maybe I'll set a little rule that I can eat whatever I want to the point of feeling satisfied, not too full, but ONLY if the food is healthy. Kinda of like WW Core. I'll have to think about it some more, but I already know that mounds of pancakes and white pasta are readily available at all-you-can-eat buffets at all-inclusives, but they are not worth the damage!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CULLENZ 2/9/2009 6:26PM

Sounds like you have been doing really good. And you have a plan great job. Have a wonderful vacation. Report Inappropriate Comment

SEEHOLZ 2/9/2009 1:18PM

Oh, vacations are fabulous! I love all your insight--- you take it a step further by actually applying what you find out about yourself! That's totally awesome! Final week! Yipee! Report Inappropriate Comment

TRACYZABELLE 2/9/2009 6:19AM

Just because the "white stuff" is on the buffet does not mean you have to eat them! INstead stick with the fruits and lean proteins and veggies! Not sure if they serve healthy grains or not!Good luck! Report Inappropriate Comment

SKYFYRE 2/9/2009 2:10AM

Haha! I giggled at "Even heating up my food until it's too hot to scarf down helps." Not that I'm gonna do that, but it has slowed me down in the past!!! I grilled chicken and got a bag of pre-cut stir fry veggies to make pre made meals, It's on! I hope this week finds you in health and without triggers! Report Inappropriate Comment

FITGIRL15 2/8/2009 10:59PM

I also learned another interesting tip from my sister today (who just recently found out she's diabetic and must follow a diabetic diet!) She said that eventhough fibre is a carb, you can subtract it from the total carbs in your food... as well, the total carb number isn't as important as the sugars numer for total carbs in a food. If you check on most fruit and veggies in the food tracker, you will notice the sugars column is mostly empty and it usually contains fibre too! I also need to remember to NOT include them into my DAILY tallies though! I wish Spark had a way to clear the values for certain foods so they don't mess up the daily totals! ... maybe someday! :) One week till vacation! I'm excited for you!!! Vacations are so much fun! PS... I agree that the pancakes and pastas AREN'T worth it!!! We stayed in a condo in Maui with a kitchen in it and we cooked most of our own meals because I was so sick from eating processed foods on our last trip!!! You have some good plans though! Enjoy yourself! Report Inappropriate Comment

MIMISCA 2/8/2009 10:19PM

this is really good advice! i have had a few good friends on WW and they have been very successful. it really seems like allowing fruits and veggies to be the core of one's diet is really the way to go. it's what i've known for a long time- but it's a really good reminder. hey and a delicious and fresh salad can be so filling and satisfying! Report Inappropriate Comment

KJNE8O 2/8/2009 9:46PM

Really good information! Thanks! Report Inappropriate Comment

PAMELA984 2/8/2009 7:15PM

So many valuable points from WW - you need to eat filling foods that will stick with you - high fiber, lean protein and plenty of fruits and veggies! Report Inappropriate Comment

SWEATONCEADAY 2/8/2009 7:11PM

you are going to have so much fun on your trip. so very jealous! Report Inappropriate Comment

Eight........

Saturday, February 07, 2009

So I've been bikini bootcamping now for two weeks. My first week I lost 13 pounds. My second week? I GAINED about two pounds. I weighed 143 today! I've been working so hard....I cannot fathom why I would have gained weight. :(

I actually don't feel quite as bad about it now as I did this morning. It put me in a bad mood at first, and I dragged myself to the gym for what is normally my favorite class - Saturday morning Zumba. I just wasn't into it...I was tired and had a sore throat and wished I could be home, sleeping in and then eating on the couch. I didn't feel like a thin, sexy, graceful dancer at all.

I stuck it out for Body Pump and then I skipped Body Combat even though one of my favorite instructors was subbing...did 15 minutes on the bike and then went home..... started to cook and do laundry only to find that I was expected for cross-country skiing with my mom and my boyfriend's mom at 1:30! So I downed two more cups of coffee and rushed off to the ski place and suddenly I had forgotten all about my stupid weight gain - the skiing was so fun and such good exercise, I could feel my inner thighs working, and my mom said I looked thin in my silly tight pants I was wearing. (I had planned on wearing ski pants over them, but it was finally warm today - in the 40s! - so I didn't need to.)

So I'd hoped to be at 138 by today instead of the 143 I am at, but I know I've been doing all the right things and I'm healthy, alive, and even though nobody would hire me as a bikini model, my weight is pretty okay, just as it is.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIMISCA 2/8/2009 3:04PM

that is such a good way to look at it - i mean you are doing some many healthy things for your body. even if the number isn't exactly where you want it to be i know you will look good for your beach vacation! i will not be surprised if in the next week you see a good loss though, since you have been so consistent in your workouts and eating! talk soon! Report Inappropriate Comment

SEEHOLZ 2/8/2009 1:42PM

8 more days till "paradise"--- vacation, break, relaxation..... you are almost there! I'm proud of you for turning it around and looking at life in a positive way! Report Inappropriate Comment

PAMELA984 2/8/2009 6:32AM

Quit obsessing on the scale - look at how healthy and fit you are instead - and worry more about the tape measure or a body fat monitor -you will look fabulous on your cruise! Can't wait to see pics from that (including the food that you passed by) Report Inappropriate Comment

NTRICK 2/8/2009 2:12AM

I agree with the previous post, there are all sorts of reason why your weight would got up and down. And I think you should be quite pleased with your efforts and your desire to make yourself better! Keep moving :) Report Inappropriate Comment

KJNE8O 2/7/2009 9:56PM

There are so many reasons that our weights go up and down. Mine can have a 3 pound fluctuation for no apparent reason. AND, you are doing lots of strength training right? Could it be muscle at this point? Have you taken your measurements? Don't let the scale be the judge! OK, so the other day at work I'm talking to a motherly type coworker and I mention that I am 143 (I am 5'5") and she tells me that she wouldn't have guessed me more than in my 130's. Bless her soul - but see, the scale isn't the only way for us to judge how good we look. How do the clothes feel? How do you feel overall? Don't let the scale get you down! If you don't make it to the 130's you are still going to look awesome and you are going to be on a beach! I do think that maybe you've been deprivin yourself too much with all the working out you are doing and not eating enough? Do you think the body is rebelling??? Maybe if you ate just a bit more? You said at one time that you were losing steadily when you were eating around 1800? I know that when I worked out a lot I was eating 1800 calories and losing a good 1.5 pounds a week on average. You may just need to take a break and let your body rest then for the last 3 or 4 days be really tough. Do you think that would work for you? Report Inappropriate Comment

LILTROUBLE 2/7/2009 8:47PM

you are doing the right things. just remember that. also thanks for all the kind words!! Report Inappropriate Comment