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21 days to go...a challenge was just what I needed!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Three weeks to go! This morning I was down about four pounds after just one day of being on track hard core. A little momentum is going a long way. I spent a while yesterday looking at pictures of Puerto Plata, which is where we're going on vacation, and I even did a web search for bikinis just to get inspired. It worked. I REFUSE to go on vacation looking anything other than my best!

It's true that I have a great long-term plan that I've developed over time. But it's also apparent that I still need to shake things up once in a while. I plan to get back to my usual routine after vacation, but for now, I am loving the idea of having to step up to the plate for a major challenge.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RA4945 1/26/2009 5:19PM

    Hey Susan, thanks for your comment on my blog. Yeh, hiding water bottles slowed me a bit but it was worth it. I figure carrying the darn thing slows me down a bit too. I don't like anything in my hands when I run.
Sounds like you are back on the right track! I'm so proud of you because I understand the struggle with eating right. I'm so tired of eating like crap everytime my selfish little heart desires it. I need discipline! Like I have with working out! You have it too. I know that you are going to reach your goals. There has got to be a way to break that brain "set point" and reset it to a lower weight. Especially when we know we have the weight to lose. So lets keep pressing forward and breaking the barriers. I'm cheering for you Susan! You can do this!!

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STEPHANON 1/26/2009 12:48PM

    emoticon Way to go! You're doing so awesome. Can't wait to hear about your vacation and see pictures of you showing off the results of your hard work! Three weeks is right around the corner!!

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WWGAL23 1/26/2009 12:39PM

    Awesome job sister! Congrats on the weight loss after only one day! You will definitely be fit and ready for that bikini for vacation! You are such motivation for me! You are doing so GREAT! Keep it up!

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FRIZGIRL 1/26/2009 10:19AM

    Wow, you are doing amazing!!!! You have come so far and I think it is great that you are shaking things up! You are going to look fantastic at Puerto Plata! Keep up the good work!

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TRACYZABELLE 1/26/2009 5:51AM

    You go girl!! You will get there! Can't wait to see the bikini!

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SKYFYRE 1/26/2009 12:29AM

    4lbs?! Yowzah! Go Girl!

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FATGIRLJAC 1/25/2009 5:35PM

    Wow, I can hardly wait for the day I can even think about a swimsuit; let alone a bikini!

And already seeing rewards is AWESOME!! emoticon

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SEEHOLZ 1/25/2009 4:56PM

    Nothing wrong with kicking it up a notch! Even better when you are already seeing rewards!
Rock on!

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MRSTUCKER812 1/25/2009 4:43PM

  Good idea! Bikini searching and surfing is a great motivator. It even would be kinda fun to buy one in a size you know you can get into as a goal and then go for it!

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BRUIN2 1/25/2009 2:56PM

    Right on!!

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MARLIE13 1/25/2009 2:46PM

    I think it's time that I start surfing and looking at bikinis too. Thanks for the inspiration and kick in the pants!

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BLUEBOOEYES 1/25/2009 2:25PM

    I agree with the shaking things up idea, even when you know your normal plan is working to maintain. I created a little birthday challenge for myself over the next 3 weeks. I'm on Day 4 and going strong. I'm also down 2 lbs already.


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One day down, 22 to go!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

First of all let me get the defensive stuff out of the way. What I wrote yesterday was like daydreaming...I wasn't listing goals as much as fantasizing. Do you know the quote, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars"? That's what I was doing. I'm more motivated by dreaming big than I am by being politically correct all the time!

So, without apology, I have a hardcore bikini bootcamp plan. I'm going all out for 23 days, starting today. I've gotten far off base, but it hasn't been all that long, and I believe I can shock my body back to where it was if I work really hard. It'll be much easier now than if I let the new extra weight settle in longer.

It's easy for me to start on a Saturday. My gym has such amazing classes on Saturdays so I always get a great workout, and I'm always busy with household chores, plus I have my guy aroud to keep me in line. It is not going to be at all easy to stick with my plan during the week, but I will only have a total of 15 weekdays on this plan. I can do this.

Twenty-two days from now, I'm off to the warm sunny sands of the Carribbean.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUEBOOEYES 1/25/2009 2:24PM

    I have that quote on my page and I totally know what you mean. It's the 90/10 principle. If you aim high, even if you put it out there for 100% of your goals in the beginning, you can always count on the 90% achieved, 10% error margin. And achieving 90% of your intended efforts is still really freakin good.

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LILTROUBLE 1/25/2009 1:33PM

    Woohoo. Kick booty!!
You can do it.

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TERRIANGEL 1/25/2009 11:58AM

    Now if that's not motivation, I don't know what is! :)

You can totally do this. Positively. No doubts. Bikini ready and rearing to go!!!! WOO HOOOOO!!

And thank you for my anniversary wishes. It was so fun. Love that guy. emoticon

Now go kick some bikini butt!!

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SKYFYRE 1/25/2009 1:33AM

    Woohoo! 22 and counting down!! emoticon emoticon
Have a great Weekend! Caribean in 22 more days?!?!? So Awesome!

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ASTARB1 1/24/2009 11:13PM

    I'm totally with you in regards to your big dreams. Even if you only partially succeed on just a few of your goals, you'll be a better person for it.

What class did you do today?

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PAMELA984 1/24/2009 9:27PM

    You can do this!!!!

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What would the IDEAL me do?

Friday, January 23, 2009

I'm a work in progress. Sometimes it feels like I've taken two steps forward, seventeen thousand steps back. But what would perfection even look like, for me? What would be my best? What would that look like? Here are some ideas:

*My weight would be STABLE
*I wouldn't obsess, but I would follow some guidelines
*I would go to bed at 9 p.m. and get up at 6 a.m. every day
*I would read more
*I would keep my condo cleaner and neater, and I'd finally get around to fixing up certain things around here
*I'd recycle (well...thanks to Jess, we've already started doing this!)
*I'd still be able to have treats. I'd figure out a way to have small treats, so small they don't affect my weight, and I wouldn't feel guilty about it or let that trigger binge patterns
*I'd figure out how to eliminate bingeing once and for all
*I'd do cardio 5-6 times a week and strength training 3 times a week (and stretching with every workout)
*I'd probably drink just one cup of coffee a day, plus have some occasionally as treats (see bullet on treats above)
*I'd drink a LOT of water. And green tea.
*I'd weigh 130 and be a size 2
*I wouldn't get overly hungry or overly full
*I'd figure out how to handle restaurants, vacations, parties, work luncheons, and other special occasions without impacting my weight or feeling deprived
*I'd feel happy and energetic, without aches and pains, and I'd sleep well
*I'd have really good skin and hair
*My mom and I would get along consistently
*I'd see my friends more often
*I'd spend less time with the TV/computer
*I'd try new active challenges on a regular basis
*I wouldn't let "I'm tired" or "I don't feel like it" or "I've been working hard so I deserve to rest" be an excuse to be a sloth or not enjoy my life
*Jess and personal, use your imagination
*I'd be an involved, caring, well-informed teacher who got great results using best practices
*I'd manage my time better at school
*I'd stay organized

I think I'm starting to see some categories taking shape... so I'm going to cut off the specifics and try to identify the broad areas:
*Diet, exercise, and other healthy lifestyle choices - consistent, moderate, non-obsessive
*Enjoying results of the above
*Organization/time management
*Social/emotional/happiness/active lifestyle (some things could fit in more than one category)
*Teaching/professional life
*Ethical/making choices I can be proud of

I'm a special education teacher and part of my job is writing Individualized Education Programs for students. I've often thought it'd be a useful exercise to write an Individualized Health Program for myself. (Health, or weight management, or whatever you want to call it!) This is reminding me of that idea because I'm coming up with broad goal areas, like the goals in IEPs. It's obviously time for me to come up with something new. I have one Spark friend who actually started a whole new account when it was time to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. I can't bear to part with all my old info...but I do think it's time for a makeover of my Spark page and my program in general.

Oh, one more very important item to my list:

*I would figure out a way to keep the flame of motivation burning at all times!

My behavior lately has been like a child's who is acting out as a way of letting her caregivers know she needs help. I haven't been taking care of myself. It is time for a big, big overhaul. Only, I keep telling myself that, and then going back to the bad choices. It's time to do something significant enough that it sticks. To be continued. (once I figure this out.)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRIANGEL 1/25/2009 12:03PM

    My perfect me list would sound surprisingly similar, too. I think our personalities are very much alike. I've said the same things over and over and really want to be there with you. It sounds like we're in the exact same place right now---had done fabulous things a little while ago, and now have slacked for a while and gained weight (blech). I think I'll check in with you very regularly (and re subscribe to your blogs - I lost it for some reason - I think Spark just does that from time to time) and maybe we can truly do this together.

Thanks for being so honest. It's like reading my own thoughts in blog form. :) :)

Onward, sistah!

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SEEHOLZ 1/24/2009 7:45AM

    The "perfect" me--- my list would sounds similar in many areas, tailored to my own life--- I think it's ironic that you seek the "perfect me", because as much as it essential to have a plan, putting too much pressure onyourself might backfire! Where is the fun??? I walked in the door last night, exhausted and under the weather and my husband's girl cousin asked me how I was doing... I told her fine, but I was thinking: you are out there doing what it is you love doing and I am just trying to get all these things done that are on my agenda-- it didn't help that I have to work today and have even less time to get all done---where do I find the time to just chill out and have fun without being exhausted? Also, another thing that occured to me: all works out well when I'm feeling well- God forbid I am feeling under the weather-LOL? and have to modify, adjust plans, yet somehow still want to get it all done.... too much presssure?
I am a firm believer that starting over is saying that you want to get rid of the old-- it is essential to move forward, but as you said, every decision you make, is like starting over, so it's not about some grand plans, it's all about the little things....
I know you'll figure it out--- you are smart, dedicated, committed and really determined! I really respect and admire that! As for perfect? Well, I'm glad you're not, because I'd feel like you're on a different planet and sooo unreachable. Good luck Susan!

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WITTYFLOWER 1/24/2009 7:01AM

    I love your own IEP's...written down. I love this blog. Thanks for sharing. It's funny that you are applying what you do from work with the kids to yourself because I do this too. I am a school counselor and I do set up goals for the kids who have behavior problems like a behavior contract. I have something similiar to that for myself relating to my personal goals.

Comment edited on: 1/24/2009 7:06:15 AM

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FITGIRL15 1/24/2009 2:09AM

    I agree! You know best when the old plan just needs an overhaul! I think all of your points are very well thought out and realistic however putting such a strong emphasis on being a certain size or weight can often backfire!!! I hope you start to love you for YOU because you are awesome just as you are!!! We can always work harder... But you must ask yourself "at what cost?"
Personally, I'm only trying to seek my peak weight just once... And it most definitely won't last forever... Actually, being at your peak isn't healthy for extended periods of time!
Good luck with your new plan!!!

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SKYFYRE 1/23/2009 10:38PM

    What a great re-focusing exercise! This is awesome! I know you can achieve your goals, and I hope you do! There will always be bumps in the road but this little list should get you back on track! Way to go Susan!

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LILTROUBLE 1/23/2009 9:12PM

    This is terrific. It shows just how strong, smart and capable you are. You made so many good points and can totally be the IDEAL you.

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BRUIN2 1/23/2009 8:11PM

    Loved this!

And you know what I love the most? These are realistic and achievable!!

Happy weekend!

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KJNE8O 1/23/2009 8:10PM

    Wow - these sure are a lot of goals! After you get them broken down into categories then take one from each category and work on that one until you have it mastered... then you add another goal.

I found that what I thought was a goal, once I got to the goal, changed in some way or the goal along the way became less important or something changed in my life to change my goals.

It's all about the journey really, not the destination. We are alway a work in progress.

And finally, if you find yourself not achieving the goal as fast as you think you should, or you take one of those steps backward, or whatever may happen, be kind to yourself! If we talked to our friends the way that we talk to ourselves we wouldn't have any friends!

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So Grateful for my Spark Friends

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

TOM was LAST week, so why am I so emotional right now? I am so overwhelmingly touched by all the comments left on yesterday's blog entry. It seems like you ladies understand me better than my real life friends. What Liltrouble said hit the nail on the head exactly:

"I do think that there is a really thin balance of being fit and healthy and enjoying life, versus being fit and thin and having to work so hard at it. Maybe I am lazy but I definitely think that there is a set amount of work that I am willing to put in and a set amount of deprivation. Beyond that it is not worth it for me."

That's just it. I want to be fit and healthy, I want to feel good, I want to be active and energetic and happy. I don't want to feel like my life is ruled by calories and meal plans and hunger!! So what if I can't fit into my size four pants. I fit into size six!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not only did I get two pages of beautifully supportive comments, but I also realized I am a Spark Motivator now. I don't know who nominated me or when it happened, but I just noticed it a few minutes ago. I always thought you'd get some kind of message when that happened, but I wouldn't have even known if I hadn't happened to look at my main page.

THANK YOU, to my wonderful Spark friends!!! We are all in this together!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITGIRL15 1/24/2009 2:00AM

    Congrats Susan! You deserve this!!!

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FRIZGIRL 1/23/2009 7:42AM

    awesome job being a motivator and good luck with the new outlook!

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CREATINGMYSELF 1/22/2009 10:30PM

    Congrats on being a Spark Motivator-- you deserve it. You are a source of support and motivation for a lot of us, and I'm sure every one appreciates it!!

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SARAH_VW 1/22/2009 2:26PM

    Congrats on being a motivator!! emoticon

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ASTARB1 1/22/2009 1:22PM

    Your blogs are definitely motivating for me and they are so relevant for me.

Congrats on the kudos - well deserved!


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TRACYZABELLE 1/22/2009 5:55AM

    emoticonI know you motivate me to move more and it is hard to move me that is for sure! emoticon We are all here for the same reason and people like you make it a lot easier to keep it real! We can not punish ourselves for a slip up, stuff happens... as long as we get back on the horse that threw us!

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JENNIFERBH 1/21/2009 8:17PM

    You deserve it! I read your blog yesterday but did not comment. As a person with a history of eating disorders, the word "binge" is not a word to just toss at somebody.
We all have set backs. If we didn't, we would not learn from them. You are so with it that you are second guessing yourself. Stick with it Girl!!!! Don't let ANYONE get in your way. I am after the same thing, I want to figure out how to maintain without being so strict.
I still have weight to loose but, then what? I got down to 117 2 years ago and then put most of it back on. I need to find a way once I loose the weight, to keep it off in a healthy and LOGICAL way. I am a social person and food is my social drug!LOL


I hate TOM.....

Comment edited on: 1/21/2009 8:19:05 PM

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EMILYLYN1 1/21/2009 6:56PM

    congrats susan!

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SEEHOLZ 1/21/2009 1:31PM

    Congrats on being a Sparkmotivator-- you certainly never fail to motivate me!
We are all in this together and I certainly feel grateful for having you part of this journey!
Hang in there-- it is a journey!

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RA4945 1/21/2009 11:46AM

    Congrats on becoming a SP motivator! You do help a lot of people with your honesty and perseverance! Keep it up! emoticon

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KJNE8O 1/21/2009 11:45AM

    Hey - Congratulations on being a Spark Motivator! See, even in the depths of our own despair we are able to help people.

Also glad you're feeling better! Hang in there - you are doing great!

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MARLIE13 1/21/2009 10:20AM

    Congratulations on being a spark motivator. That's so exciting and something you totally deserve! I think that is excellent thinking in changing your mindset and focus now to maintaining fit and healthy versus deprivation. Here's to a new focus and a new set of goals and accomplishments!!

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SWEATONCEADAY 1/21/2009 1:05AM

    congrats on being a sparkpeople motivator!

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TMAC10 1/20/2009 9:52PM

    i just wanted to say that you are amazing... :) & i'm always grateful for you & your encouragement!

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LILTROUBLE 1/20/2009 9:13PM

Glad I helped you see the light. You are doing so awesome and have SO much to live for. So make sure you are working out to live, not living to work out. Hehehehe.

You rock.

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BRUIN2 1/20/2009 7:28PM


This blog made me soooo happy!

It's great to hear this from you - THIS sounds like the girl from late summer/fall who was trying new things and ROCKING life in general.


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PAMELA984 1/20/2009 7:18PM

    Congratulations on being a Spark Motivator! You should have been sent a spark mail though - at least I know that I was when it happened to me. What a wonderful honor - you truly are a motivator - at least to me!

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SKYFYRE 1/20/2009 6:28PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Hey Susan! Congrats on your Spark Motivator Accomplishment! You SO deserve it! Yipee!!! I am glad that you have returned to the blogging, I think it is so good for us to work the stuff out in our head on paper sometimes! You are an amazing force and you can accomplish anything! I am so happy to hear that you are choosing your "anythings" with care and intention! Six's are nothing to scoff at! That is crazy skinny! You are a leader and you are beautiful! Keep up your awesomeness! emoticon
By the way, I feel the same way about the support and motivation here. It is such a blessing to have found Spark, there are some really great people here, you included!

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A Me Update

Monday, January 19, 2009

Is this the longest break from blogging I've ever taken? Where do I start??

I guess I will fess up and start with where I left off - last Tuesday. Warning - this is going to get ugly.

Tuesday through Friday of this past week were HORRIBLE. I had a raging case of PMS that turned into a raging case of TOM. I felt like crying for no reason.. well, at first I had no reason, but quickly I felt like crying because of what I was doing to myself. It was incredibly cold - one morning it was NEGATIVE 8 degrees!! I had tons of work to do including TWO reports. And Girl Scout cookies were for sale in the teacher's room - nobody was watching - you just put your $3.50 in the envelope and take your cookies - honor system.

Well, the fact that I spent $7 per day on cookies was just part of the horribleness. I just wanted to constantly be eating something. And not my healthy grapefruits or salads either, which I was neglecting. No, it was candy and hot chocolate and pasta and bagels for me... And I didn't go to the gym once in that time, and I didn't get quite enough sleep either. My stomach was looking DISGUSTING by the time my head cleared.

Well, I have to just KISS my gym. I LOVE YOU, GOLD'S GYM!!! They had "Winterfest" at my gym on Saturday and you had to sign up in advance for classes. So of course I'd signed up as early as I could for my regular Saturday morning lineup - Zumba, Body Pump, and Body Combat. The night before I was having dreams that even my workout clothes wouldn't fit me anymore, but I went, and it was soooooo fun. They had multiple instructors for each class, all in costumes, all new releases of music and moves, and there were prizes!! I won a Gold's T-shirt (that I will never wear - anyone want it?), a month off my membership, and two free smoothies from the juice bar! I had one as I was leaving that day, and the other today - frozen strawberries, skim milk, and strawberry Myoplex. (Tangent - I'm thinking a lot about protein lately - will it really help me stay full if I increase it?) As I was leaving the gym, the one instructor who knows I'd lost 30 pounds said to me, "You still look great!" Obviously, she said that because she thought I needed a boost...

Oh, and one of my gym buddies asked me (by the spread of bagels and orange wedges they had out for Winterfest - I only had two orange wedges, no bagels!), "When you start bingeing, how do you stop?"

I responded, "I don't know - I haven't stopped!"

This is the same woman who told me I was looking too thin only a few short weeks ago, when I had a totally different body. Now though, we exchanged phone numbers and she told me to call her if I ever felt like bingeing.

Thankfully, however, I haven't. I mean, I'd still love to go buy another bag of peanut butter cups and eat them all in one night. But I haven't. I haven't been perfect...I probably ate too much at an Indian restaurant the other night, and I haven't tracked the Myoplex smoothies on my tracker...but ANYTHING is ok if it's not bingeing!

Sunday morning I awoke to snow, but I have a Jeep now so I fearlessly drove to a different Gold's location - one not too far from my boyfriend's place - that I'd been to once before. I took a Zumba class there and did over an hour on various cardio machines in addition. I also ripped a few recipes out of magazines, a couple of which I made today, with my own spin which means adding a lot more vegetables. One is shrimp with tomatoes and feta (I added spinach) and I think it looks just like something you'd get at an Italian restaurant. The other is this chicken salsa thing but I got really creative with what I addition to adding extra veggies, I added some frozen mango!! I think it's so neat to add fruit to meat dishes, if you're brave enough!

Today there was no school - MLK Day - and I was happy to find out that one of my favorite instructors was doing back to back Body Pump and Body Combat this morning. The classes were packed and stuffy so I got really sweaty. I then went home to get my gift certificate for my 2nd free smoothie, and then went right back to the gym, had the smoothie, and then did over an hour on the stair climber!! My instructor was just leaving as I was coming back, and I was embarrassed about working out again so I lied and said I was just back for my smoothie.

Whenever I've been eating a lot I have soooo much energy for the gym...faster, longer workouts. I feel happier and more energetic. I love being able to go to restaurants and eating like other people. I really need to rethink my long term goals.....I am pretty confused right now... BUT, I am going to the Carribbean in exactly four weeks and so want to look good in a bikini there. I had this silly idea to think of my life as a "celebrity health spa" with the celebrity in question being ME and the goal being ready for my big photo shoot on the white sands of the Carribbean. :) Healthy spa food, lots of lovely spa sleep and water and tea, and the gym is just a quick walk from my door......I could squint and pretend my life really was a spa. :)

I also toyed with the idea of cutting back on calories quite a bit in preparation for my trip, but in the end decided to cut back just 100 calories. With the binge mindset I've had lately I better not let myself get overly hungry....

Yesterday I sat at Barnes & Noble with a skinny latte and read _The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl_. It's basically just all her blog entries as she lost weight... just think...all of us bloggers could be unwittingly writing our first books right now! :) Anyway, she went from 351 pounds to 175 (never quite hitting her original goal of 165 - she was 5'9", I think..). I like that she had setbacks a few times in the book and didn't weigh in for a while, and then she finally would get a burst of inspiration and start weighing in again, much higher than before, but she kept going and lost it all again and then more. Just like me, she started with Weight Watchers and then felt like she was outgrowing that program - too much emphasis on fake low-cal food and not enough emphasis on exercise. Also just like me, she got hooked on Body Pump and Body Combat. Cool, huh?

Weight-wise, I was too ashamed of myself to weigh in for a few days there, but on Saturday afternoon, after having been at the gym all morning, I went for it. Keep in mind this was the middle of the day and I'd just had a big smoothie, but I weighed 156!!! Sunday morning I weighed 150, and today I weighed 147.

I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know if I'll be proud of my body when I go on vacation. I don't even know if I want to put in the work it takes to weigh in the 130s anymore. I mean I definitely do for vacation, but in general I'm not sure! I wish I could keep this fun energetic feeling even when I've been controlling my calories for a while...!?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I am so glad that I was able to come back to some new blogs from you. I understand you about the binging, I've had quite a few of them over the past couple of weeks, too. For some odd reason I always feel the need to weigh myself after a binge. I know the number will be larger than usual, so looking back I don't know why I torture myself with it. I think I'm finally getting to a point of excepting my body for how it is. I can change how I look as much as I want, but I'm always going to have that urge to eat the way I used to. I always ask myself "will it be like this forever?", but now I've realized that even though the urge to binge will always be what it is, forever, the way I react to it won't be forever.

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TRACYZABELLE 1/22/2009 5:52AM

    Sometimes life just throws us a curvball and we duck the wrong way..I know you are a motivated woman and will come back from this because you like the thinner, slimmer you better. We will not judge you because we have all been there.. We are here to support you not tear you down. We are here to lift you up!

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SWEATONCEADAY 1/20/2009 4:22PM

    sorry you had a rough week. us bunnies are getting close to syncing up lol. we all seemed to have bad tom/pms this month. i love gold's! out of all the gym chains i have ever been a member of (5) it has been far my fav!!!1 if there was one closer to me i would get a gym membership back.

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RA4945 1/20/2009 12:03PM

    Hi Susan! You are a strong woman! Much stronger than you've ever given yourself credit for. I, like you, would rather exercise harder just so I can eat more of what I want. I realize I wouldn't have to work out as hard if I would just eat less! But this is our battle and finding balance is the key. I admire you for your persistence and ambition because you are NOT a quitter! Knowing that you are willing to put in the work on your body with regards to exercise shows me that you also have it inside of you to apply to your eating. That has been a hard one for me to grasp as well. But we keep pressing forward and putting our mistakes behind us. Lets keep being realistic knowing that big changes are usually more dangerous than helpful. Keep making the small changes and celebrating the small victories. Baby steps are the best way to go. Make peace with your body as it is today, not what it will be in a few weeks or how it has been in the past. Celebrate today because you are beautiful and worth all of the effort.

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MRSTUCKER812 1/20/2009 12:22AM

  So you had a bad week, it's OK! Just tell yourself it's ok now, but the funs over and now it's time to get back in focus. Dont' feel bad, just move forward and enjoy the new challenges that are thrown at you. You can do it!

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MARLIE13 1/19/2009 11:24PM

    YES bump your protein! =o) It's nice to know others are human. lol! Perfect is boring and your binge was probably good for your soul. I bet you learned some great things about yourself and the next time this happens...because there will be a next will have armed yourself with strategies to make it through a little quicker.

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SKYFYRE 1/19/2009 11:21PM

    Oh, Honey. I am sorry. I know how this stuff goes, and I'm really able to identify with what you are saying here. I am not sure what the solution is, you just have to keep trying!You look fabulous in the 140's you will ultimately have to decided where you feel best. I am thinking the 130's just aren't realistic for me. I hope that things settle out and you find a balance between the 2 extremes.
An aside...Girl Scout cookies are overated. I hope that you will think of that tasty smoothie for the rest of the evil GS cookie season!

emoticon (smoothie) Here's to then end of binges!

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SEEHOLZ 1/19/2009 9:41PM

    Oh Susan,

You know I can relate more than I'd like to admit-LOL! When I binged during the summer, I'd "choose" Sat, so I could do a well fueled long run-- I felt so energetic and strong vs. worn out. I don't know if this theory applies, but you and I both exercise a lot and I wonder if we "overdo it" and then our body/mind kind of rebels? You got it so much more together than me, because you plan, you cook and you stick to your plan whereas I just eat "whatever I want" and am sooooo unwilling to stick to some "plan" and "give up" foods etc. Why?? It's so complicated, but hearing you say things like " I like eating at a restaurant like other people" really touched a nerve-LOL. Anyways, its good to have you back.
I know you'll figure it out-- it sounds like there is some soul searching on your agenda and I think your long term approach is a healthy one! Anyways, I'm here for you to listen- anytime! It's great ot have you back!

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KJNE8O 1/19/2009 9:40PM

    Everyone's right - we all have bad day, weeks, months and even years! I found that I would binge when I was denying myself something... or if my body was just craving/needing to restore it's depleted glycogen stores. You work out a lot and like a long distance runner your muscles can run out of fuel. When they do you end up in search of carbs. Add that to PMS/TOM when your body already craves more carbs and you've got a double whammy.

Make sure you are refueling properly after all your workouts. This is just so absolutely critical!

Make sure you eat a little protein with all your meals and that you are eating every 3 hours. Keep your proteins/carbs and fats in the recommended ranges - that definitely helps.

That should help some of the bingeing.

Make sure you aren't denying yourself things. A cookie here or there isn't going to hurt. Enjoy but do so with mindfulness.

That said - we all off the wagon... look at me! I fell off for almost 2 years! I am right now 10 pounds heavier than I was 1 year ago and 20 pounds more than 2 years ago! I've had a 2 year binge I guess. But we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start over again. And that's OK!

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BRUIN2 1/19/2009 9:33PM

    Glad to hear from you.

Keep rocking those classes! Good luck finding the balance!!

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STEPHANON 1/19/2009 9:25PM

    We're dieting twins! Not really, but I can so relate to your blog. I too have been avoiding the scale and binging for all I'm worth. But I'm back on track as of today, and I'm hoping to remove the few pounds I've gained by this time next week. I hear you about the amount of work required - vacation is a wonderful motivator to lose the weight and get fit, but for maintenance you may find that the 130's require you to just eat less than you're comfortable with or whatever. I'm struggling to find my maintenance weight, and I'm afraid it might end up higher than what I originally planned. We'll see. Good for you getting back into the classes and the exercise. Glad you 'fessed up and you're back in the game. Even baby steps forward are better than moving backward!

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LILTROUBLE 1/19/2009 9:23PM

    Oh jeez. We all have tough weeks. Sheez - I have been having one for the past year :)

The big thing is that the sum of all of your activities has your permanently in a good place with good behaviors.

I can't believe that girl said that about binging - is that just me or is that weird. I guess women in general are much happier trying to join each other in misery.

I do think that there is a really thin balance of being fit and healthy and enjoying life, versus being fit and thin and having to work so hard at it. Maybe I am lazy but I definitely think that there is a set amount of work that I am willing to put in and a set amount of deprivation. Beyond that it is not worth it for me.

You already have reached success and even at your higher weight are successful and healthy and fit. So just take pride in knowing you are doing great.

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PAMELA984 1/19/2009 8:48PM

    Crawl back up onto that wagon - just because you fell off doesn't mean you have to lay down in the mud! You can crawl back up and take baby steps to get back to your plan - you can start right this minute to work towards your cruise! Maybe you should put pictures up of the cruise ship and your destination everywhere you look - in your car, at Jess', at your place, at school - well, you get the picture. Use visualization - remind yourself what you want to look like and how you will look on your cruise!

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