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Chocolate Cake for Breakfast, Cross-Country Skiing, and Mixed Feelings

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Last night I celebrated my birthday with my boyfriend, my parents, and his parents. I did pretty good with the eating - taking a cue from my mom and ordering the healthiest thing I could - the salmon, minus the butter, two veggies, salad with dressing on the side, and water to drink. But it was my birthday, so of course after the dinner plates were cleared the waitress came out with the most gorgeous decadent chocolate cake I'd ever seen - one of those mini-cakes you can get pre-made from a bakery - with just one candle and a cherry on top. :)

I had only one piece of cake last night, but I took home the leftovers - maybe about half of the cake. And man was that cake haunting me. Knowing it was there in my fridge, I could barely sleep. I would have had more that night, but Jess never left me alone near the kitchen all evening.

This morning I weighed 139.4 - gained a couple from yesterday's extravagence (sp?). Oh well. But......THAT CHOCOLATE CAKE! I snuck into the kitchen, and I polished off the rest of the cake for breakfast!!

But then I went to Jess' parents' house. His mom had told me she had brand new cross-country skiing boots in my size, and extra skis. We were forecasted to get quite a bit of snow today, so we wanted a fairly early start. I met up with Jess' mom at 9:30 and we were skiing a little after 10. I hadn't gone cross-country skiing since I was a kid, and it was so wonderful to be out in the gorgeous snow and fresh air on what I think is the first official day of winter?? in the first significant snowfall of the season. It wasn't perfect - the snow was a rather sticky kind, creating clumps of ice on the bottom of the skis that made them not really glide, and there were no pre-made tracks which made skiing take a lot more effort, but I had a fantastic time and plenty of energy from my chocolate cake breakfast. I felt good - this is who I want to be - someone who gets out for exercise and fresh air and doesn't freak out over a little chocolate cake. We skied for two hours.

Back at Jess' parents' house, they offered me some lunch. I accepted because they live really close to Guilette Stadium where the Patriots play, and I had to wait for football traffic to die down before I went home. I had a cup of hot tea, clam chowder from a can, AND two cookies and a little brownie.

Then, back at home, I decided it would be a good idea to polish off the rest of the cheese from our cheese & cracker appetizer last night. And I had a few sips of Jess' beer and this weird green tea smoothie stuff he's been drinking that has tons and tons of sugar.

But other than that, I've eaten healthy today - haha!

Jess called the gym and there was no answer - they must have closed early due to the snow, AGAIN. (So far school hasn't been canceled or delayed for tomorrow though......) We actually bundled up and went out planning on building a snowman - how cute would that have been - but the snow wasn't soft and sticky anymore - it was more icy and cold and just not good for snowman making. So instead I cleared off a few random neighbors' cars in the condo parking lot. I just wanted to play in the snow and that was something to do! The parking lot's plowed, but there was a ton of snow between each car, so Jess shoveled around the sides of both of our cars. Oh, and by the way, I have been driving my "new" 1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee that I recently bought from my parents, and I feel sooooo safe driving it in the snow - I haven't skidded at all!!

So, no doubt my weight will be back up into the 140s tomorrow. As my title says, I have mixed feelings about this - it's normal to gain weight this time of year, and I know I will take it off again, but oh how frustrating. Someone wrote in her blog today that she doesn't feel like analyzing the eating choices she's been making lately - and I feel the same way. Yeah, I ate chocolate cake and two cookies (hey, there were two kinds! I had one of each!) and a brownie recently when the opportunity presented itself. Who wouldn't wanna eat that stuff???? (Okay, **I** wouldn't...when I'm on track!) It's a convenient excuse to blame my eating habits on the time of year, but that's what I'm doing right now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITGIRL15 12/22/2008 11:47PM

    I have also decided to take a couple weeks off trackig every morsel that slides past my lips! It's getting obsessive and that's never a good thing! I figure, as long as your keeping active, 2 weeks isn't gonna kill ya... and I know as wellas you do that 2 weeks won't last forever. Soon enough it will be the new year, and a new you! No more temptetions, just you, the gym and clean eating!!!

I think you are doing so great! Congrats on getting out for some skiing, I think I'll do the same tomorrow :)

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ZIRCADIA 12/22/2008 3:29PM

    I kinda feel like I'm eating healthy like at least 90% of the time probably... maybe slightly less than that... and I'm working out consistently still, so I'm not going to stress the goodies. :P I'm resisting a lot, and eating some. (see the fudge incident in the BBB hahaha) *HUGS*

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KENSINGTONC 12/22/2008 10:07AM

    Happy birthday!!! (a little late) emoticon

I've had stretches of eating poorly like the one you just had. Usually lasts a few days until I get it out of my system, and then I'm back to where I was beforehand. The weight you gained is probably a lot of "water weight", or retention, related in part to the sodium intake.

Kudos on the cross-country skiing! I love that sport! Were you classic or skate skiing?

Have a great week! Here's to maintenance during the toughest week of the year.

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SEEHOLZ 12/22/2008 10:03AM

Excuses or not-- in the long run, it is all about the journey and sometimes that journey includes chocolate cake and some "down time"... knowing you, I know that you'll be right on track.
Thank you for your continued support- it really means the world to me!

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TRACYZABELLE 12/22/2008 2:18AM

    YOU could have frozen the cake for another time too ya know.. there is always a day when you just want a little something and that leftover cake would have been just the thing... As for me.. I send desserts home with my guests except the fruit-- I dont keep crap in my house or it is dangerous!

Hope you enjoyed your birthday!

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STEPHANON 12/21/2008 11:25PM

    Sounds like you had a great birthday, and a fun day skiing. As far as the food - I've been just the same lately: not really wanting to go to all the work of getting down to the nitty-gritty with the tracking, and just preferring to nibble here and there and ENJOY food again instead of obsessing over it. And know what? I've pretty much been just maintaining for a couple months, but thanks to the good habits I developed here on SP, I never got out of control. I didn't lose, but didn't gain either, and I think of it as a nice break where I allowed myself to settle in and avoid burnout. So now I'm going at it hard-core again with the tracking and all, but I'm refreshed from my break. If this time of year is the time you just need a break, there's no reason not to relax for a while, and it doesn't sound like you're letting yourself go all crazy. No doubt the urge to get back on the wagon with your food choices will come with the onset of the new year, and you'll have all the motivation you need! Best of luck to you.

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SKYFYRE 12/21/2008 9:45PM

    Happy Birthday!!! (Belated of course :( sorry!) Sounds like you had a lovely time of it and you are that girl, you know, the healthy one that can live life and enjoy it! The weight will come off as you say, I'm aiming for Dec 28th as a real reality eat at my BMR kinda thing! Too hard with all this great stuff around!!! Happy Holidays!

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LILTROUBLE 12/21/2008 8:48PM

    Happy BDAY!!

I love my jeep cherokee - it is a 2000. We love jeeps and have had 4 cherokees!!

Enjoy the day and get back to it tomorrow! :)

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PAMELA984 12/21/2008 6:44PM

    We have to use what we have learned and just get back on track - it is okay to splurge occasionally - we all have special events that you need to enjoy - tomorrow will be the start of a new week - be mindful of what you eat and your exercise so that you can enjoy all of the holiday meals coming up!

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Winter Wonderland!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

We had lots of snow last night. I'm actually happy, because it finally looks like winter outside - so pretty! This storm was well-predicted, so lots of school districts in my area decided a day in advance that there would be early dismissal. I got out at 11:35, and the snow hadn't even started yet. I went to the grocery store and ohhhhh... what a mob scene! I usually go to the store with a shopping list, but in my rush I didn't make one. My parents and Jess' parents are coming over tonight to help me celebrate my birthday, so I bought a little tray of a variety of pre-sliced cheeses, whole-wheat crackers, shrimp, and cocktail sauce. At the liquor store I got a bottle of red....a bottle of white...(I'm singing that part), a little bottle of Jose Cuervo for margaritas, and a bunch of beers, several of which Jess drank last night, heehee. Party with da Parents!! I'll open my presents here and then we're all going out for Italian food.

Soo.....another chance for me to show how strong my eating discipline is!!! I am strong, I am fierce, I am going to NOT deny myself, but have a small-to-medium amount of food and drink! Raaar! (Sorry, still in Body Combat mode or something here.)

I also bought ingredients for tuna spinach broccoli casserole, and I found a really healthy soup mix - love Bob's Red Mill products! I bought a few fresh veggies to put in the soup too.

Back at home I did all the cooking, so that's already out of the way. Then Jess got home and we were going to go to the gym, but it was snowing hard so I called the gym and they were closing at 6. It was 5:25 at the time. gym for us last night. Instead we watched movies.

Oh, and Jess shared with me that his coworker, the one who threw the lunch party last Sunday where I first started my binge, said that PEOPLE COMMENTED ON HOW MANY MEATBALLS I ATE!!! That is SO embarrassing!!!!! But I'm kind of glad, because it seriously makes me NEVER want to behave like that again.

This morning I weighed 137.6, cleared snow off my car, and drove to the gym...I usually walk, but my condo complex wanted cars out of the way so they could plow. I had called ahead to make sure the gym was open and classes were on. For Zumba, there were only five people there! But it was an awesome class. I was full of energy (as you can probably tell by the way I'm blogging) and the song choices were all excellent. I was feeling so good that I decided I would attempt heavier weights for almost all tracks in Body Pump. That went well, although I almost died during the bicep track, haha. Then I stayed for Body Combat. By that point I was pretty hungry. I usually bring a snack to the gym on Saturdays, but today I've eliminated all snacks to have room in my calorie budget for tonight's celebration. I made it through Body Combat, came home and showered, and just had lunch.

Now we're going out for a quick hour of xmas shopping, then I want to get my condo really sparkly clean so all the parents will be impressed when they come over later.

Oh yeah, Jess also gave me a couple more birthday presents last night - he'd already given me my card and Red Sox tickets for an early April game in the morning. The presents I got last night were a framed photo of Jonathan Papelbon celebrating winning the World Series (don't tell him, but I would have been just as happy without this gift - but I know he didn't spend too much on it), and a AAA membership! That was a practical but cool gift. He's always been a member and thought I should join - especially since I can't change a tire myself.

I had really been hoping for a ring......that wasn't to be.........but I know he'll get me one as soon as he can afford it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRIANGEL 12/22/2008 8:39PM

    What a fun day! cool. Didn't you LOVE the snow!!?? We have family from Ireland here for 2 weeks. the kids (10, 11 and 14) were really hoping for it to snow, as they don't get much of it over there. Boy did THEY come at the right time, huh??

I had to laugh at the meatball comment.... :)

You still rock, sistah. Anyone who can do 3 consecutive classes is a killer babe in my book!


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LILTROUBLE 12/21/2008 8:44PM

    WOW what an amazing work out. Like 3 hours of classes - dang girl!! Way to work it out.

I have seen the zumba class before but never wanted to take it because I am not good at coordinated dancing stuff. I can dance but "to my own beat" hahahaha.

Well have a great day!

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SWEATONCEADAY 12/20/2008 6:34PM

    what a fun day. hope you have a great dinner tonight.

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ASTARB1 12/20/2008 4:38PM

    Sounds like an awesome day!!

Did you get such a great bod by doing the Les Mills "Body" classes?! If so, I'm inspired!! (I love those classes and you look GREAT!!)

Happy Birthday!! emoticon

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ZIRCADIA 12/20/2008 1:45PM

    KUDOS on the great workouts, and keep repeating your strong and fierce mantra. :) I LIKE IT!!! And AAA rocks.

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Friday, December 19, 2008

So today I am 31. You know what's interesting? My mother AND my grandmother both got married at 31, had their first child at 33, and their second child (and, in my mom's case, her third child too, since my brothers are twins) at 35. Here I am on the verge (HOPEFULLY!) of getting engaged, so I guess I take after the women of my family! In fact, if I follow in the pattern of my mother and grandmother, this year could mark the start of some very exciting changes to my life.

As much as on the surface I'm whining and complaining about how "old" I am, and honestly, I have a hard time believing I'm seriously not in my 20s anymore even though I've had a year now to try to get used to it, I DEFINITELY feel like I'm improving with age. In education we talk about executive functioning abilities. These are those helpful life skills like being able to plan, execute, and follow through on goals you have for yourself in a timely manner. It's funny when a parent or outside evaluator tells us a child doesn't have good executive functioning skills, because I feel like mine have only RECENTLY kicked in (and even now I still slip up - car insurance bill late fee? Oops!). But seriously, I really appreciate that now I have the ability to not only set a goal and a plan - which I was doing all through my late teens and 20s, but to actually FOLLOW THROUGH now. Maybe I could have done this earlier if I'd had SparkPeople, but for whatever reason, I feel like I am totally in control of my weight management situation, well, 99 percent of the time!

Since I was 29 and first lost the weight, I feel like I am getting healthier each year, and that is a wonderful thing. And of course with improved health comes improved looks. :) I'm not a huge celebrity fan type of person, but I am inspired by the fact that there are so many gorgeous women in their 30s with tight bodies that guys of any age would appreciate. It reassures me that I can look hot for years to come. :)

So I know my 31st year is going to be exciting and healthy. It will be the first year of my life that I am at a healthy and relatively stable weight from start to finish. I know it will be, because I know the behaviors I need to engage in to make this happen, and my behaviors are my choice! Hopefully this will be the year I sell my condo, temporarily move in with my boyfriend to save money, then buy a house together. This will hopefully be the year that my boyfriend becomes my fiance and possibly even my husband (gulp!). This year I will be feeling like an old pro at teaching, as I now find myself encountering mostly only situations in my professional life that I've encountered before, so I can fall back on my experience for a level of confidence in my job I've never had before.

As far as my mini-goal is concerned, today was the day I was supposed to hit 134.0. Today I weighed 138.4. I am thrilled that the weight I gained by bingeing a few days ago is coming right back off and it is a huge relief to be back in the 130s. I think I will set my next mini-goal to be at 134.0 again in one month, on January 19, 2009. And this means I don't have to change my calorie range, yay, haha.

Random, but who likes funny movies? We started Step Brothers last night...both of us fell asleep halfway through, but I was laughing so hard that my abs were sore (plus I gave them a killer workout a few days ago, so I was still feeling that). I can't wait to watch the other half tonight when we're snuggled in under a foot of snow!

Random again - Jess gave me the first of three (I think?) birthday presents this morning...the rest are for tonight, or maybe tomorrow when my birthday celebration is. He made me this ginormous card out of a huge piece of cardboard, and the present was.... Red Sox tickets for the very first Friday night home game of the season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY YAY YAY!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WAVEDANCER7 12/22/2008 11:07AM


WOW... what great reflections!!

I hope this is the best year yet for you! I'm excited for you and all the great things to come!

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BRUIN2 12/20/2008 9:18AM


Happy Birthday!!!

(sorry I'm a day late here - thank goodness for FB! hehehehe)

What an AWESOME birthday present!! And such a great reflection. This is going to be a fabulous year Susan!!!

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MIMISCA 12/19/2008 6:22PM

    that's awesome! it seems like you have learned so much these past few years. happy birthday and i cannot wait to hear about your other gifts!

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TRACYZABELLE 12/19/2008 3:15PM

    How exciting! Ball games are fun!
See I told ya that weight would come right off! WTG!

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SEEHOLZ 12/19/2008 2:43PM


I can relate to a lot of what you are saying- my Mom had me at 31 and it's weird to think that I am my Mom's age when she had me... she had my brother at 35... Well, neatless to say I didn't follow in my Mom's footsteps, but I am so much more appreciative of what she did for us! Wisdom does come with age-LOL!

Sounds like a fun Birthday present- Jess sure made your day!

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RA4945 12/19/2008 1:40PM

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I loved this blog! Yes, I too believe we can be our best in our 30's. I'm 36 and healthier than I've ever been. I also believe I look better than I ever have and I fully intend to beat all records in the races I participate in 2009. We can do this! I hope your day is very special. You are a very special lady! Hugs!

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MARLIE13 12/19/2008 12:56PM

    Happy BIRTHDAY!!

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ZIRCADIA 12/19/2008 12:31PM

    WOOHOO I knew that weight was coming right back off. :) You've delayed 134 a bit, but it's coming. :D You're doing great! I really want to see Step Brothers. :) AND OOOOH RED SOX TICKETS!!! HOW FUN!!!!!! :D And it's so cute that he made a big card to go with it. That's cool! :D My DH's birthday was this past Sunday (a couple days after we got broken into. :P) But then we got a dog on Monday (which he's always wanted) so I kinda think of Roscoe as his B-Day present. Tomorrow is our Anniversary (FIVE YEARS) and THEN CHRISTMAS. It's a busy time of year for us. ;) ahahahaha. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!! :D

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SWEATONCEADAY 12/19/2008 11:29AM

    happy birthday! hope you have a great day. i am glad your binging weight is coming off.

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KSTYLEFITNESS 12/19/2008 11:04AM

    Happy BIRTHDAY!! Woohoo! emoticon

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LIVINFIT4ME 12/19/2008 9:45AM

    Awesome present!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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PAMELA984 12/19/2008 9:08AM

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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My Body Likes me Better when I'm on Track

Thursday, December 18, 2008

140.0 today... still on track and planning on STAYING on track. I still fit into my size 2 pants which just proves to me that the vanity sizing is ridiculous - someone who's 5'6" and 140 lbs SHOULDN'T be fitting into size 2 pants! Ha.

Gym this evening was Body Pump and then Zumba. Kind of a mellow workout - I didn't really sweat. In contrast, last night I got to the gym really late so I decided to go quick and intense - 30 minutes of running at an average of 7 mph, plus a little walking/stretching before/after.

Tomorrow will be an interesting day - it'll be my 31st birthday, my mini-goal due date for 134.0 which I did meet but now am far away from due to the binge, and we're having such a big snowstorm that we've already been notified that school is getting out early. Hopefully the roads will be okay enough for me to go to the grocery store before I go home...and then I'll have to see if the gym's still open for a workout. Yeah, pretty boring birthday, but we're going out on Saturday instead. Man, I don't wanna be 31...I wanna be 21. Oh well. Good night.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CREATINGMYSELF 12/19/2008 3:18AM

    I got all excited because I fit into a smaller than usual size jeans at Vanity.. and then I realized that their sizing it WAY off! How disappointing :(

Happy Birthday!! And hey, 31 is still young!!

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FITGIRL15 12/18/2008 11:28PM

    Susan, I know what you mean... my body prefers clean eating too! Today I had a Christmas gathering and I feel a little blah because of the "indulgences" but it's only temporary and I did enjoy it!

PS... Happy Belated 31'st Birthday! My 32nd Birthday is coming up soon too (Jan.6th) but unlike you, I am kinda stoked about it! I think I've only gotten BETTER with age!
Just like a fine wine, right? emoticon
Live for the moment and enjoy the fruits of your passions... at any age!

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BRUIN2 12/18/2008 9:38PM

    Tomorrow's your birthday!!!! YAY.

Glad you're still on track - look at you: being ON TRACK is the NORM.

Lets all take a moment to appreciate the significance of that.

(figured I might as well have a drink whilst appreciating)

You rock!

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TMAC10 12/18/2008 9:32PM

    happy early birthday :) 31 is a great age...and you look amazing and are doing so awesome!

ps. please re-add me as a friend, after a lot of thinking and processing i'm offically "re-starting' so i re-did my sparkpage! i know i'm crazy...ha.

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KMWKENT 12/18/2008 9:26PM

    Especially since you still fit into your jeans, in my opinion, you're not "truly" 140. The weight will keep falling off quickly. You know how they say to overweight and obese people, "You didn't put on all the weight in a couple of weeks, so you can't expect to take it off in a couple of weeks"? The same principle applies in your situation. You put it on in a short period of time, so you can expect to take it off in a short period of time. Even if you truly gained a couple pounds, you may legitimately be 136.5, but I'd guess the other few pounds will be gone in another day or so.
I gained eight pounds over Thanksgiving weekend and lost it all the next week when I resumed my healthy eating and exercising. I hope the same thing holds true for you!

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ZIRCADIA 12/18/2008 9:21PM

    Glad to here you're on track and lbs are still disappearing. And 31 is awesome!!! :D You're getting more fit and healthy with age, and you get to keep all your experience and knowledge! :D

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PAMELA984 12/18/2008 9:20PM

    31 is better than 51 (my age) - just celebrate every year - you will only get better!

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Back to it.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Thank you so much to everyone who left me kind comments about my slip-up. When it first happened, I was thinking that the last thing I would want to do would be to get on SparkPeople, enter my new weight into my ticker (a weight I'd last seen in September), and share the story of my gluttony with everyone who would read my blog. But then I realized that I depend on this website, and the sooner I came clean, the sooner I would be back on track. It was actually a feeling of relief to type the title of my last blog entry, "FULL DISCLOSURE."

And I hope that everyone who was kind to me would totally kick me in the behind if I ever do that again!! Ha.

I really am back on track, and I know it. Yesterday I got to the gym a little early for my classes, so I walked/ran on the treadmill for about 6 and a half minutes, which got my heart rate up for classes. I did Ab Clinic (15 minutes), Body Pump (60 minutes), and Cardio Kickboxing (60 minutes). Each of those classes involved some ab work! I was considering staying after that and using the elliptical, but I decided against it. Whether or not I have thousands of excess calories to burn off, sleep remains a priority. (OK, and watching the season finale of the Biggest Loser is another priority, haha.)

I weighed in at 141.4 today. For those who haven't been keeping track, my weight pre-binge was 134.6 on Sunday. The binge went Sunday-Monday. Monday I weighed 138.6 and Tuesday I weighed 144.4. I'd do really well if competitive weight gaining was a professional sport! So this means that in all, I gained 9.8 pounds in two days of bingeing, and so far I've lost 3.0 of those pounds. A couple people have told me they think I'll take it all back off quickly just by being back on track, but I bet it's going to take weeks. I'm sure I'll be back to the higher 130s soon, but to get back to 134......I'd be shocked if I see that number again before mid-January at least. And that's assuming I can get through my birthday and the xmas-New Years break without slipping up again.

But like people have said, a break is a great time to rededicate yourself to your goals and follow your ideal schedule. For me that'll mean plenty of sleep, plenty of exercise, and plenty of downtime. Hopefully we'll get to go skiing - it finally snowed here last night, but it's been raining all day so far today...

And then New Years of course is when EVERYONE is dedicating themselves to healthy goals, so I will be in plenty of company then.

And yeah, I feel like I have a split personality too sometimes. I was on track for over five months and I was really starting to feel like I'd put that other side of me to rest - the side that eats crazy and doesn't exercise and is fat and unhealthy. Maybe that part of me will never die, but will always remain dormant within me, and I will need to manipulate my circumstances at all times to keep that binge monster from raging out. Then again, I don't want this to be yet another example of self-fulfilling prophecy. I don't want to be telling myself that I have a binge side of me and then allow a binge and have my reaction to be, "Well, that's just a part of who I am." I always have the choice of what to put into my mouth, and I refuse to be someone who engages in binge behavior!

I'm kind of just babbling on about this now and it's really in my best interests to just stop analyzing it and rather to move forward, making the right choices at every moment now and in my future. I do just want to add though that I can see the extra pounds on my body - mostly in my stomach and thighs. Thighs?? Yeah, aren't I lucky. I'm so glad at least I still fit into my pants - I've been afraid to try on my size 2s though.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEEHOLZ 12/18/2008 10:07AM

    I am so happy you are both doing better and mainly feeling better!
So, unless you ate like an excess of 17500, you definitely didn't gain 5 lbs- 1 fat lb is 3,500 calories!
I think you handles this slip up like a pro-- just like you handle your regular plan!

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MLISS150 12/17/2008 10:37PM

    I clicked on this link because it was getting back on track which is where I am!! I completely relate...God it is so weird reading's as if I was talking to myself out loud!

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TERRIANGEL 12/17/2008 10:27PM

    My Gawd, woman. We really are the EXACT same when it comes to gaining and losing. We do it BIG and fast. But it tends to go on MUCH faster than it comes off. Bummer about that part. :)

Rock on, and know I'm over here with your exact same goals. Lets do it!

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FITGIRL15 12/17/2008 6:03PM

    I am sure most of that weight gain is a) water retention and 2) sheer volume of food that's left in your intestines! Like TRACYZABELLE said, a few trips to the loo should fix you! (I thought that was cute and so true!)

You are probably mostly upset about the number on the scale. Quite frankly, if you are still fitting into your size 4 plants, you really haven't done that much damage (and you KNOW what you need to do to make it go away!) Take a deep breath and move forward! You (In my opinion) deserve to relax your schedule for special events, and I think the holidays qualifies here :)

January will be a whole new ball game! You are going to soooo rock it! You already are doing so great!!!!!
Don't think of this as a faliure, think of it as an opportunity to improve!!!

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RA4945 12/17/2008 5:44PM

    I just caught up on your last 2 blogs. You are so strong and you have been doing well. It's awful when these things happen. I'm sad to say that I am on day 6 of poor eating. I'm eating way over my calorie limits and have indulged in several binges. I thought I was going to get it under control but then I kept going. I feel awful about all of it and even feel sick to my stomach. I finally checked the calendar and sure enough, its PMS. Even then, this is just ridiculous. Thank you for your honesty and let me just tell you, congrats for keeping it to just a couple of days. You have been doing so great so don't let this keep you down. Sounds like you're already back on track anyway. Please go ahead and kick me in the behind. I need it!

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WITTYFLOWER 12/17/2008 4:56PM

    The weight gain is water weight. I noticed that when I start to eat unhealthy I feel bloated and find that I gained lots of weight but then as I start to eat clean the rest of the week from the unhealthy food during the weekend, I noticed that my weight went down a couple pounds... so the weight gain is not a true weight gain. It takes 3500 calories extra to gain one pound so that is too many pounds of weight gain in a couple of days.. I don't think the body works that way. Plus, you are exercising and eating right the other days and within the calories so I don't see how that is true fat gain.

Let it go!!! and focus on what you have done right for the rest of the week which outweigh what you have done wrong!!! :-)

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ZIRCADIA 12/17/2008 3:45PM

    Girl, I bet a lot of that weight will fall of quickly. A couple of pounds might be a legit gain and take longer, but most of that has got to be water weight and fluctuation. I really understand your concerns about the mental aspect of this whole thing. I feel like the old habits die hard and we may struggle trying not to re-engage those old habits for the rest of our lives. I really don't believe you will ever just be like, WELP, that's me! :) hahahaha. You'll be like, that was the old me -- that is not who I am now. BACK TO REALITY! :) And it will feel like coming home, and feel happy and pleasant every time you end up having to rededicate yourself to your healthy habits. My hope is that the slip ups become smaller and less frequent as I build a time base of healthiness. January 15th 09 will be 2 years since I started SparkPeople, and the end of this month weill be 5 months (I think) since I switched to maintenance. I had to switch to loss mode for these couple of weeks to combat a few lbs of gain from Thanksgiving, but as of this morning's weigh-in I'm back to my range, even though I'm still working to shed a bit more before Christmas vacation. And hey, I might have to do this after each vacation. Hopefully not -- but if so, at least I know now that I can handle it. I'm hoping 10 years down the road these kinds of slip ups will DEFINTIELY be the rarity. Just keep working at it, and I will too, and we'll help each other stay strong and committed to what we TRULY WANT deep down inside, which is to be healthy and treat our bodies well. *HUGS*

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TRACYZABELLE 12/17/2008 12:41PM

    You can not keep beating yourself up over it.. a few really long visits to the loo ought to fix you right up too.. like everything, this too shall pass(haha). Now you know how miserable it made you and you will be sure not to do it again I am sure.. YOu work hard to honor your temple and you are worth the effort. I have faith in you Susan that you will be back to normal really soon!


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