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Monday, November 03, 2008

I feel really yucky today. I had a slight stomach ache all day yesterday that got worse when I went to bed. Heartburn also started last night and I've had the stomach ache and heartburn most of the day today. On top of that, I had an incredibly hard time sleeping last night and I feel like I was awake almost all night.

This morning I was at 140.4. For the past two days I've gained exactly 1.0 pounds per day. I know it'll come back off, but my stomach feels big and bloated and icky today. Then today I kept on eating even when I was stuffed - I do this when I'm tired, it's as if I somehow think the food is going to wake me up. Note to self: it doesn't work!!

Normally I'd be at Body Pump right now, but I decided to skip it today. I'll try to make it tomorrow instead, but that depends on how long I'm in line to vote tomorrow afternoon. I WILL go to the gym, even though I REALLY don't feel like it, and I'm going to probably just read and ride the recumbant bike - my new "go-to" workout for when I feel too tired to work out.

So... even though I didn't feel guilty for indulging in junky food on Saturday night, I really think my stomach issues and heartburn are caused by eating unhealthy food. My body is so used to eating only really healthy food these days, not croutons, salad dressing with fake stuff like high fructose corn syrup, white pasta with butter, chocolate cake with whipped cream (probably there was nasty partially hydrogenated oil crap in it, didn't see the ingredients) and frosting, ice cream, and candy!!

Which really makes me wonder. First of all, I get angry - why can't eating really healthy food be the general standard? Healthy food can be totally delicious - who says just because there's a birthday we have to eat junk? Plus, I'm not even sure that everyone KNOWS that stuff is junk. I think a lot of people would see a a light salad dressing and think it was healthy, even if it had sugar, salt, and high fructose corn syrup in it. I try to avoid all food with added junk like that!!!

Second, what is a girl to do who wants balance, wants to be able to eat like normal people sometimes, wants to be able to go out for dinner with friends/family without having to bring tupperware containers of my own food? What am I to do when doing this gives me a two-day stomach ache and heartburn? It makes me tempted to just go 100 percent all-out my own food only. It'd be healthier, it'd be delicious, and it would help me avoid these gastro-repercussions.

I guess maybe I could have just eaten less of the most junky of the food offered and more of the healthiest... I honestly just wanted to treat myself for once. I had no idea my stomach would get so mad at me.

OK, I'm procrastinating. The one thing SparkPeople can't do is physically push me out the door with my iPod and water bottle. I gotta make MYSELF go to the gym.

PS - I just want to quickly comment on the recipes I've made for this week. The pasta bake is really yummy - homemade veggie tomato sauce, browned ground turkey, whole-wheat pasta, and a variety of fat-free cheeses.

The Scandinavian fish is really different than anything I've made before. It's too soupy thanks to me cooking it in too much white wine, but good. It's cod in a white wine cream sauce (fat free sour cream and mayo), and spinach, artichokes, mushrooms, and asparagus. Oh yeah, and full-fat asiago cheese. They don't make a low-fat version of that!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUEBOOEYES 11/4/2008 12:46PM

    Sorry you're feeling bad. It'll pass and you'll be good as new soon enough. Don't worry.

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BRUIN2 11/4/2008 9:41AM

    Good morning gorgeous!

How's that tummy of yours today?? Hope it's feeling better!

I am AMAZED by all of the HFCS in products down here - you should come up to Canada and stock up on stuff...we do not have that junk! hehe.

I like your idea of eating more of the good stuff, but still treating yourself.

And how long do you usually have to wait in line to vote???

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MARIKINS048 11/4/2008 8:47AM

    the comment you left me yesterday about my 5k totally lifted my spirits so i'm going to try to return the favor. isn't that what SP is all about?

i hope you feel better! it's so hard to motivate yourself to go to the gym when you're feeling so gross, but it's probably the best medicine. so props to you for pushing yourself out the door!

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SKYFYRE 11/3/2008 10:30PM

    We all go through this, dips in our workout energy and relapses in our eating, thank goodness for tomorrow! I was just thinking the same thing about eating my own food exclusively, I did that when I first started SP and got down to 132 with minimal effort, or I would look up the nutritional information before I went out to eat at a restaurant and eat what I had picked from the online menu. I know there is a happy medium, and I think a "goal weight range" might be it. Anyway, enjoy the recumbant bike!

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SEEHOLZ 11/3/2008 10:10PM

    I liked the part where you question why we cannot celebrate birthdays with healthier treats? Also, why do Amusement parks, the movie theater and such have to sell ONLY junk??? The best is my son's school cafeteria that supposedly abides by balanced go'vt food pyramid standards, which are a joke in itself! TG my DS doesn't want that food! But, he sure is sold on only white bread--- that's life and I know you're right! I wished I was more like you when it comes to eating! But, I'm celebrating my babysteps!

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CATERPILLAR85 11/3/2008 6:42PM

    Hmmm that pasta dish sounds delicious. When I get back into a normal week/routine I'm going to try it.

I know exactly how you feel about feeling bloated and gross after eating all that junky food. I also do it to myself & I dont understand why I over endulge when I know its just going to make me sick. I've been feeling that way all weekend and now my crazy feminine problems on top of it...what a way to star the week.

Balance is hard but I know you have found are amazing and look at your progress so far! You are such an inspiration to me and I know I've told you that over and over. It is okay to give ourselves a little flub room here and there though girl!

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SWEATONCEADAY 11/3/2008 6:26PM

    feel better soon!

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MARLIE13 11/3/2008 5:31PM

    Oh my goodness, the Scandi fish sounds superb!! Thank you for sharing that idea. Sorry your tummy isn't cooperating with your workout plans. I've had the food hangover as well. It seems that the more weekends I indulge, the more my tummy gets used to repairing itself on Monday. Not something I recommend though. ;o) I would just keep at it. Making healthier choices, healthier substitutions and when you allow yourself a treat, try to make the healthiest choice possible and/or be prepared to make the sacrifice of feeling funky afterwards. Maybe the sacrifice isn't worth it? There's just no way around the fact that food with crap in it IS going to cause some sort of consequence to our bodies. You know?

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49:55 - This BEAUTIFUL number is brought to you by MY HARD WORK!

Sunday, November 02, 2008

First of all, I would like to clarify my point with the baby picture. I do agree that fat babies are cute babies, and I didn't mean to sound so critical about myself. My point was supposed to be that if someone who has been chubby her whole life (ME) can now be fit and healthy, anyone can. All it takes is good old fashioned diet, exercise, and emotional support.

Second, I'd like to just mention how incredibly grateful I am for this website and all the people I've "met" through it. I've done a lot of reflecting on my weight loss journey lately (OK, I admit I'm ALWAYS doing that) and also on the value of the support system here on SparkPeople. It's hard to believe that a website can change someone's life, but this website has absolutely changed mine, completely for the better. I am thinner, fitter, and no doubt healthier than ever, and I feel a real comeraderie (sp?!?) with my Spark friends. We are all in it together and helping to push each other to newer and better heights. You know that study that came out over the summer where they found that having fat friends makes you fat? This website does the opposite for all of us! We surround ourselves with all these positive stories and words from each other, all about having a healthy lifestyle, and it does wonders for our own mentality. I totally love it.

I think I ate at least 2,900 calories yesterday, a lot of it in the form of desserts. Then I slept TWELVE hours last night. I was going to go to a 9 a.m. Step Interval class, but decided to stay in bed and I slept til noon!!! Hmm, with the time change maybe I slept thirteen hours? Not sure. I really needed that sleep!

I weighed 139.4 today, and after yesterday's big dinner I'm just glad I'm still under 140. But I still don't feel bad for eating so much yesterday, because I think the extra food combined with the extra sleep are what helped me achieve a HUGE personal best at the gym today.......

A few of my Spark friends made me run a 10K today. I wasn't particularly in the mood...a 10K is hard work...but I'd told them I would, so I had to. See what I mean about the kinship around here? THANK YOU GIRLS for making me do it! If I hadn't, I never would have blown my old personal best out of the water!!

I did my 10K at the gym, so I wouldn't have to map out an outdoor route that was exactly the right distance. I was nervous about using the treadmill without my heart rate monitor, which is broken, but it turns out that forced ignorance about my heart rate wasn't such a bad thing. I probably would have gone slower with it on, but I used how I felt as a gauge and only slowed down a bit toward the end. I felt absolutely fine in terms of how hard my heart was working.

I set the treadmill to 7.5 mph and was off, figuring I'd need to slow down soon, but I actually managed to stay at that speed until about minute #36 or so! I was going faster than the people on either side of me. :) I gradually slowed to 7.0 and sprinted the last .2 miles at 8.5 mph. I cannot believe I did a 10K in 49:55. This is SO much faster than my last personal record (around 55 or 56 minutes). I didn't imagine I'd EVER be able to do a 10K in under 50 minutes!!!

Here's some other stats:
*2 miles in 16:04
*5K in 24:52!
*4 miles in 32:04!

When I was done, I walked for about three minutes at 3.0 mph, using the machine's HRM. I got my heart rate back to 120 in about 2.5 minutes. Then I walked over to my boyfriend, who was wrapping up his own workout, and smiled at him. The big dufuss didn't say anything, so I said, "Is there anything you want to ask me?!?" He said, "No, I mean yeah, how'd you do?" So I told him, and he was just like, "Good job." I told him I wished he was more enthusiastic and tried to explain how significant this was to me. So he tried... the cutest part was when he went out this afternoon to do an errand and said, "Seeya later, Speedy Gonzales!"

That's me, Speedy Gonzales. I can do a 10K in 49:55. Holy ($&$(&@!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEEHOLZ 11/3/2008 10:11PM

    Great job!!! Weird how we still can surprise ourselves-LOL!

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RA4945 11/3/2008 4:54PM

    Wow! That is an awesome time! You have inspired me to push harder in my training runs. Way to go, girl!

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MARLIE13 11/3/2008 3:04PM

    Totally Holy Moly miss speedy feet! That's incredible! Boys...they are silly, huh? You rock!

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MARIKINS048 11/3/2008 2:28PM

    congrats on the personal best!! it really is the little things like that, isn't it? :) i'm a pretty slow runner but i've been getting faster, and there's no better feeling than seeing you continuously break your own times. keep up the awesome work!!

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SKYFYRE 11/3/2008 2:53AM

    Woot Woot!

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GERMANPICKLE 11/3/2008 2:47AM

thanks for sharing that incredible story!

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FITGIRL15 11/2/2008 11:41PM

    Speedy Gonzales! YAY!!!!!
Way to GO, Susan! Keep up the GREAT work!

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MIMISCA 11/2/2008 10:13PM

    that's AMAZING! i'm so impressed with how fast you can run! i'm like a turtle! haha- but hey i'll get there!

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TERRIANGEL 11/2/2008 8:08PM

    WOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Susan, that's AWESOME!!!! Congratulations, speedy! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CATERPILLAR85 11/2/2008 7:30PM

    Hey lady, you are amazing! :) I hope you & jess had a great weekend and Halloween. Thanks for the constant support. You are right, a routine will really help with all of the stress. I need to get back into a routine where I feel like I "need' the gym to help me stay sane & confident. Stephen really is supportive and I could not ask for a better group of amazing spark friends and support system. Hooray for we come!

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SWEATONCEADAY 11/2/2008 7:20PM

    way to go! 7.5 is what i use for my mile intervals! you go girl. you are officially the speediest bunny i believe (sarah may be about the same as you).

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LYNN248 11/2/2008 7:18PM

    Congrats to you!

I had a quick look at your sparkspage, you look amazing!!


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Can you blame me for assuming I was destined to be overweight my whole life?

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Just came across this picture as I was looking for the new Halloween ones. I was such a fat baby that my parents asked the pediatrician whether they were feeding me too much. I had such fat legs that I never learned to crawl until after I could walk!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRIANGEL 11/2/2008 4:26PM

    Oh, please. I LOVE the baby leg rolls! Soooooo cute!

ANd my pediatrician had me on skim milk instead of whole. Oh, how times have changed. I was a chunka-monk, too. Hee!

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PAMELA984 11/2/2008 7:56AM

    But look at you now baby!!!!!!

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BRUIN2 11/2/2008 12:46AM

    Ahhhh - so ridiculously cute!!

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Who Needs Medical Assistance?!? :)

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Hopefully no one, or we're in trouble. :) Haha!

Tonight I was at a birthday party and I had budgeted a little over 500 calories. It felt weird to eat what everyone else was eating - I almost exclusively eat food I've made myself, for myself only, these days. I know I must have eaten more than 500 calories but I have no idea how much more. I had about three shrimp with cocktail sauce for apps, water and tea to drink (one small victory), salad with light dressing (but with lots of croutons), lobster scampi (first time having white pasta in a long time), NO garlic bread (another small victory), and then I indulged with the desserts. I had cake and small tastes of all three kinds of ice cream, and then a little bit of leftover Halloween candy (funny, it was the FIRST Halloween candy I've had this year! and it will be the last.)

I indulged a LOT, but I don't feel guilty. Once in a great while it's fine.

A few comments I've gotten recently:

From my school nurse while giving me my flu shot: "It sometimes hurts more for people like you, who have less fat and more muscle tone." (My response - "Some years more than others")

From my boyfriend's mom this evening: "You look the thinnest I've ever seen you!" (My response - "Thanks! But I'm not.")

From several men at the bar last night: "I'm not feeling so well - I think I need medical assistance!" (Oy vey.)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARLIE13 11/3/2008 3:07PM

    Wowzers! Look at the hottie couple! Great job treated yourself with no guilt. That's awesome! And no garlic bread? That would be a major victory for me! Love the comments that you've noted recently. You deserve them!

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MIMISCA 11/2/2008 10:10PM

    hot picture! love it!

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TERRIANGEL 11/2/2008 4:35PM

    You hot medical mama, you! You guys looked AWESOME! How fun...I wish we had a costume par-tay to go to (a grown up one, that is). :)

So, did you knotice the negative self-talk answers you gave to the nurse and your b-f's mother? Hmmm??? I've been told I can't take a complement more than once, and I do believe you fall into the same category. I also do believe we both sould learn HOW TO take one!

Anyway, looks like a blast. Keep on with your great motivation, girl!


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Quick Saturday Update

Saturday, November 01, 2008

So I was at work last night until EIGHT, so I didn't go to the grocery store or the gym. TWO days in a row without working out. Yikes-eroni!!!

But I got a lot of work done, and I'd really been looking forward to getting ready with my costume, so I don't feel too bad. I was on SUCH A HIGH being in a costume that I couldn't have possibly worn when I was heavier. Lots of pictures were taken, but I haven't uploaded them to my computer yet - gym and SparkPeople come first!! I did a little dancing at the bar, but I can't kid myself and pretend that it was anything like a real workout. And I had extra calories in the form of extra coffee, two glasses of Merlot, a lemon drop (Vodka, lemon slice, and sugar - tried to avoid most of the sugar though), a Captain and diet, and half a Bud Light. I still drink way too much, don't I, wow, I feel embarrassed sharing all that with you guys. But I always weigh less the morning after a bender, and today was no exception - 138.4 today.

I had a surprisingly good "marathon gym class" session today (not a marathon as in running 26 miles, but a marathon in terms of going to three classes in a row) considering that I only slept about five hours and had all that to drink last night. I still love my Sat. a.m. routine. Yay.

PS - It really means a lot to me when people tell me they can relate with how I felt in my blog, and/or when I read someone else's blog and think, "Wow, I feel that exact same way." I guess a lot of these issues in dealing with weight management are pretty common!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRIANGEL 11/2/2008 4:41PM

    Holy crap. You did 3 back to back workouts after drinking all that??!! Shows you what happens with age...I had one sour apple martini (BIG one) last night, and I haven't seen the light of day today.

Also 2 days with no workouts. I'm with ya sistah. But I plan to get up early tomorrow to get it in and start the week off right.

November goal: 3.5 pounds by Thanksgiving. DOABLE!

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STEPHANON 11/1/2008 2:54PM

    Well, even though you're embarrassed to report your drinks, etc., I say way to go! Even though you had a break from your regular routine, you got right back into it with your gym classes this morning. That's great! Can't wait to see the pics of your costume - I TOTALLY hear you about being able to wear stuff now that you couldn't when you were heavier. I didn't dress up for Halloween, but every day when I get dressed I thank God that I can dress like a GIRL again and wear cute clothes.

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PAMELA984 11/1/2008 1:16PM

    Good for you for getting back to the gym. I know that I am so afraid that if I don't work out for one day, that it will lead to two days and then to weeks and months.

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