Monday, November 03, 2008
I feel really yucky today. I had a slight stomach ache all day yesterday that got worse when I went to bed. Heartburn also started last night and I've had the stomach ache and heartburn most of the day today. On top of that, I had an incredibly hard time sleeping last night and I feel like I was awake almost all night.
This morning I was at 140.4. For the past two days I've gained exactly 1.0 pounds per day. I know it'll come back off, but my stomach feels big and bloated and icky today. Then today I kept on eating even when I was stuffed - I do this when I'm tired, it's as if I somehow think the food is going to wake me up. Note to self: it doesn't work!!
Normally I'd be at Body Pump right now, but I decided to skip it today. I'll try to make it tomorrow instead, but that depends on how long I'm in line to vote tomorrow afternoon. I WILL go to the gym, even though I REALLY don't feel like it, and I'm going to probably just read and ride the recumbant bike - my new "go-to" workout for when I feel too tired to work out.
So... even though I didn't feel guilty for indulging in junky food on Saturday night, I really think my stomach issues and heartburn are caused by eating unhealthy food. My body is so used to eating only really healthy food these days, not croutons, salad dressing with fake stuff like high fructose corn syrup, white pasta with butter, chocolate cake with whipped cream (probably there was nasty partially hydrogenated oil crap in it, didn't see the ingredients) and frosting, ice cream, and candy!!
Which really makes me wonder. First of all, I get angry - why can't eating really healthy food be the general standard? Healthy food can be totally delicious - who says just because there's a birthday we have to eat junk? Plus, I'm not even sure that everyone KNOWS that stuff is junk. I think a lot of people would see a a light salad dressing and think it was healthy, even if it had sugar, salt, and high fructose corn syrup in it. I try to avoid all food with added junk like that!!!
Second, what is a girl to do who wants balance, wants to be able to eat like normal people sometimes, wants to be able to go out for dinner with friends/family without having to bring tupperware containers of my own food? What am I to do when doing this gives me a two-day stomach ache and heartburn? It makes me tempted to just go 100 percent all-out my own food only. It'd be healthier, it'd be delicious, and it would help me avoid these gastro-repercussions.
I guess maybe I could have just eaten less of the most junky of the food offered and more of the healthiest... I honestly just wanted to treat myself for once. I had no idea my stomach would get so mad at me.
OK, I'm procrastinating. The one thing SparkPeople can't do is physically push me out the door with my iPod and water bottle. I gotta make MYSELF go to the gym.
PS - I just want to quickly comment on the recipes I've made for this week. The pasta bake is really yummy - homemade veggie tomato sauce, browned ground turkey, whole-wheat pasta, and a variety of fat-free cheeses.
The Scandinavian fish is really different than anything I've made before. It's too soupy thanks to me cooking it in too much white wine, but good. It's cod in a white wine cream sauce (fat free sour cream and mayo), and spinach, artichokes, mushrooms, and asparagus. Oh yeah, and full-fat asiago cheese. They don't make a low-fat version of that!
Sunday, November 02, 2008
First of all, I would like to clarify my point with the baby picture. I do agree that fat babies are cute babies, and I didn't mean to sound so critical about myself. My point was supposed to be that if someone who has been chubby her whole life (ME) can now be fit and healthy, anyone can. All it takes is good old fashioned diet, exercise, and emotional support.
Second, I'd like to just mention how incredibly grateful I am for this website and all the people I've "met" through it. I've done a lot of reflecting on my weight loss journey lately (OK, I admit I'm ALWAYS doing that) and also on the value of the support system here on SparkPeople. It's hard to believe that a website can change someone's life, but this website has absolutely changed mine, completely for the better. I am thinner, fitter, and no doubt healthier than ever, and I feel a real comeraderie (sp?!?) with my Spark friends. We are all in it together and helping to push each other to newer and better heights. You know that study that came out over the summer where they found that having fat friends makes you fat? This website does the opposite for all of us! We surround ourselves with all these positive stories and words from each other, all about having a healthy lifestyle, and it does wonders for our own mentality. I totally love it.
I think I ate at least 2,900 calories yesterday, a lot of it in the form of desserts. Then I slept TWELVE hours last night. I was going to go to a 9 a.m. Step Interval class, but decided to stay in bed and I slept til noon!!! Hmm, with the time change maybe I slept thirteen hours? Not sure. I really needed that sleep!
I weighed 139.4 today, and after yesterday's big dinner I'm just glad I'm still under 140. But I still don't feel bad for eating so much yesterday, because I think the extra food combined with the extra sleep are what helped me achieve a HUGE personal best at the gym today.......
A few of my Spark friends made me run a 10K today. I wasn't particularly in the mood...a 10K is hard work...but I'd told them I would, so I had to. See what I mean about the kinship around here? THANK YOU GIRLS for making me do it! If I hadn't, I never would have blown my old personal best out of the water!!
I did my 10K at the gym, so I wouldn't have to map out an outdoor route that was exactly the right distance. I was nervous about using the treadmill without my heart rate monitor, which is broken, but it turns out that forced ignorance about my heart rate wasn't such a bad thing. I probably would have gone slower with it on, but I used how I felt as a gauge and only slowed down a bit toward the end. I felt absolutely fine in terms of how hard my heart was working.
I set the treadmill to 7.5 mph and was off, figuring I'd need to slow down soon, but I actually managed to stay at that speed until about minute #36 or so! I was going faster than the people on either side of me. :) I gradually slowed to 7.0 and sprinted the last .2 miles at 8.5 mph. I cannot believe I did a 10K in 49:55. This is SO much faster than my last personal record (around 55 or 56 minutes). I didn't imagine I'd EVER be able to do a 10K in under 50 minutes!!!
Here's some other stats:
*2 miles in 16:04
*5K in 24:52!
*4 miles in 32:04!
When I was done, I walked for about three minutes at 3.0 mph, using the machine's HRM. I got my heart rate back to 120 in about 2.5 minutes. Then I walked over to my boyfriend, who was wrapping up his own workout, and smiled at him. The big dufuss didn't say anything, so I said, "Is there anything you want to ask me?!?" He said, "No, I mean yeah, how'd you do?" So I told him, and he was just like, "Good job." I told him I wished he was more enthusiastic and tried to explain how significant this was to me. So he tried... the cutest part was when he went out this afternoon to do an errand and said, "Seeya later, Speedy Gonzales!"
That's me, Speedy Gonzales. I can do a 10K in 49:55. Holy ($&$(&@!!!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Just came across this picture as I was looking for the new Halloween ones. I was such a fat baby that my parents asked the pediatrician whether they were feeding me too much. I had such fat legs that I never learned to crawl until after I could walk!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Hopefully no one, or we're in trouble. :) Haha!
Tonight I was at a birthday party and I had budgeted a little over 500 calories. It felt weird to eat what everyone else was eating - I almost exclusively eat food I've made myself, for myself only, these days. I know I must have eaten more than 500 calories but I have no idea how much more. I had about three shrimp with cocktail sauce for apps, water and tea to drink (one small victory), salad with light dressing (but with lots of croutons), lobster scampi (first time having white pasta in a long time), NO garlic bread (another small victory), and then I indulged with the desserts. I had cake and small tastes of all three kinds of ice cream, and then a little bit of leftover Halloween candy (funny, it was the FIRST Halloween candy I've had this year! and it will be the last.)
I indulged a LOT, but I don't feel guilty. Once in a great while it's fine.
A few comments I've gotten recently:
From my school nurse while giving me my flu shot: "It sometimes hurts more for people like you, who have less fat and more muscle tone." (My response - "Some years more than others")
From my boyfriend's mom this evening: "You look the thinnest I've ever seen you!" (My response - "Thanks! But I'm not.")
From several men at the bar last night: "I'm not feeling so well - I think I need medical assistance!" (Oy vey.)
Saturday, November 01, 2008
So I was at work last night until EIGHT, so I didn't go to the grocery store or the gym. TWO days in a row without working out. Yikes-eroni!!!
But I got a lot of work done, and I'd really been looking forward to getting ready with my costume, so I don't feel too bad. I was on SUCH A HIGH being in a costume that I couldn't have possibly worn when I was heavier. Lots of pictures were taken, but I haven't uploaded them to my computer yet - gym and SparkPeople come first!! I did a little dancing at the bar, but I can't kid myself and pretend that it was anything like a real workout. And I had extra calories in the form of extra coffee, two glasses of Merlot, a lemon drop (Vodka, lemon slice, and sugar - tried to avoid most of the sugar though), a Captain and diet, and half a Bud Light. I still drink way too much, don't I, wow, I feel embarrassed sharing all that with you guys. But I always weigh less the morning after a bender, and today was no exception - 138.4 today.
I had a surprisingly good "marathon gym class" session today (not a marathon as in running 26 miles, but a marathon in terms of going to three classes in a row) considering that I only slept about five hours and had all that to drink last night. I still love my Sat. a.m. routine. Yay.
PS - It really means a lot to me when people tell me they can relate with how I felt in my blog, and/or when I read someone else's blog and think, "Wow, I feel that exact same way." I guess a lot of these issues in dealing with weight management are pretty common!
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