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Why I won't binge this weekend

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

First the boring update: I was at 152.4 yesterday and I'm at 151.8 today (yay). If anything, the weight might be coming off a little too quickly, so I'm going just 12 calories above my range (1,572!) today and tomorrow.. wow, for me to say "the weight is coming off too quickly" shows how far I've come, doesn't it. I would MUCH rather have it be permanent than quick.

My calorie range might even be too low because of all the exercise I do, but it's inconsistent, some days I do a lot more or a lot harder than other days. Yesterday, for example, I decided I was really going to watch my heart rate and sweat it out on the elliptical for the first time in a while. I only did 45 minutes instead of the hour I'd been planning, and my back was hurting, but this was on top of almost 40 minutes of strength training and stretching and I'm trying to avoid doing strenuous exercise for more than 90 minutes a day... I think I'm OCD or something. Anyway, one thing I did like about Weight Watchers was that "activity points" were added on top of the daily points range rather than just figured in, because of course everyone exercises different amounts on different days. What I didn't like about that was how obsessive with the numbers that made me - how many minutes was I doing high-intensity vs. medium-intensity exercise, for example, and how many extra points do I get? Plus, I think you need the extra calories BEFORE the exercise, not after...maybe even a day in advance.

I didn't sleep very well last night - I went to bed on time, but it was hot and I kept waking up - so I'm tired today and when I'm tired I just want to eat all day long. Obviously I am not going to allow myself to do that, though.

Anyway, now on to the topic of my blog...why I won't binge this weekend. I am going to my aunt's house in Maine this weekend. It'll be about a six-hour drive and I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to try to sneak off early from work or leave in the afternoon. Jess is coming with me, and the rest of my family (my parents and brothers) are leaving earlier in the day. My aunt is already disappointed about me leaving late because she's planning a special home-cooked dinner for everyone on Friday night, but I told her I'd eat along the way and she should feel free to go ahead and have dinner for everyone else without us. So for Friday at least, I will plan and eat my own food exactly like any other day of the week - no exceptions. When we arrive late in the evening in Maine I will feel a bit of hunger like I do every night, but there will be NO EATING, even if other people do, even if Aunt Jane offers me something, even if something smells or looks good, even if it's healthy or "just a taste." I will have planned and eaten a very nutritious, balanced, complete day's diet and do not need the extra late at night - especially on a day when there will not be time for the gym!

Saturday and Sunday will require willpower. Jess and I are staying at my aunt's friend's empty house, so at least I can do my own breakfast in peace. But I KNOW that there will be delicious-smelling lunches, dinners, and snacks galore, and that my "fat kid" instincts will pop in and I will want to go to binge mode. But I will not. I will eat single servings of lunch, dinner, and a snack or two per day, and that will be it - the rest of my time will not be about food, period.
Here's why:
1. I weigh 151.8 now and don't want to come home from Maine weighing more than that.
2. I feel disgusting mentally and physically when I overeat.
3. I have been learning and now get to prove what I've learned - eat more slowly, drink more water, fill up on veggies, etc.
4. Forward progress!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMELA984 6/3/2008 1:30PM

    Hey - you can do this! Good plan - drink lots of room temperature water - it will keep you feeling full. Have a good time and concentrate on family - not food!

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SERENDIPITY22 6/3/2008 1:11PM

    I struggle with weekend binges, too! We can overcome this!!!! Good luck!

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Oh, How I Miss This......

Sunday, June 01, 2008

This one is from May 26, 2007 and I weighed 135 pounds. Why did I let myself gain the weight back?? UGH!!! I'll get there again, but more slowly this time so it'll be permanent. And with more muscle tone because I've been doing lots of strength training!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMELA984 6/2/2008 5:32AM

    I think you look just fine in ALL the photos. All the exercise you are getting is helping you tone up. The scale is just a number

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"Before Bootcamp" Photo - for comparison

Sunday, June 01, 2008

As previously mentioned, I can't really see a difference but these are dark photos because I'm kind of shy. :) This photo is from May 5, 2008 and I weighed 160.0 pounds then... I have lost 7.8 pounds since then!


"After Bootcamp" Photo

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Hmm...the blog wouldn't post with the photo (I tried twice, got errors both times) but it did post without it. I'll try to post the photo with this blog entry, if it'll let me.......

OK, it is letting me. So I'll just say this photo is from after bootcamp but not AFTER reaching my goals because I haven't done that yet. I weigh 152.2 here, June 1, 2008.


One Month Later...

Sunday, June 01, 2008

I just took this photo and don't really notice any difference between it and my "before bootcamp" picture. Today is June 1 and I weighed 152.2 this morning (although I might have been a bit dehydrated at the time...I weighed 157.0 just now with food and water in my belly). Compare that with the "before" photo taken on May 5 and 160.0 pounds. This is DEFINITELY NOT my "after" photo. You can only add one picture per blog so I will post the "before" photo in another entry...and just for comparison's sake, I'll also post one from May 2007 in the same bathing suit at 135 pounds.

This has been a great weekend. Yesterday my weight had bounced up to 154.2, oh well, it bounces around... my new Zumba teacher was OK...not as good as the usual Saturday teacher but much better than the Thursday sub I had. (My gym's summer schedule is out and they're going to have Zumba on Mondays, too!) After the class I did another 45 minutes of strength training and stretching. Then I came home and showered then made my tuna spinach bake, so I realized I spent all morning on weight-management related activities. We went shopping and I bought a few shirts - no pants yet, they'd quickly get too big for me (hopefully) - and I got the "weight management" Asian chicken salad at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. The menu said the "weight management" salads have "under 590 calories." It was HUGE and I couldn't finish it, so I'm estimating 550??? I also have been drinking - I've got the lingo down now - venti caramel skinny iced lates from Starbucks this weekend, which have 110 calories (mostly from the milk - my best guess is that the sugar-free syrup is calorie-free too.....or close to it....if anyone knows otherwise, please inform me!). Jess thinks I am wasting my money on these things, but they're a fun fairly healthy treat and I only get them on weekends... Anyway, we went out last night and with my 3 glasses of wine and one rum and Diet Coke I ended up at about 1,950 calories yesterday.

This morning I was up and ready to go before 6:30 a.m.! (I think I went to sleep after the bar at 1 a.m. last night!) I don't know why, but hopefully I'll fall asleep early tonight and get a good night's sleep before yet another Monday - though just two more Mondays to go after this til school ends! I am full of tangents today, aren't I..

Anyway, today's calories were about 1,430 I think. Kinda on the lower side and I am a little teensy bit hungry right now but it's almost 7:30 p.m. so I'l just deal with it. The tuna spinach bake was a little bit of a letdown by the way...bland and not as yummy as how Mom makes it (though much healthier...)

So I got Jess to do an awesome bike ride with me around the Charles River! The weather and the biking and everything were just delicious!! We parked in Newton and biked in on the Boston side of the river all the way to the Science Museum, then back out on the Cambridge side. One website said the loop is 14 miles, another said it was over 17 so I don't know...but we did it very slowly because Jess likes to "take it easy" when he bikes. It was 1hr32min in all. Then we went to the gym and I did 33 minutes of legs, stretching, and abs but we were both kind of tired by that point. And my back wasn't happy by the end of the bike ride.

One random thought I came up with about hunger for weight management. To lose weight, you need to be a LITTLE hungry, I think. Hungry enough that you'd eat something healthy like fruits or vegetables... someone on this website once said "if you're not hungry enough for an apple, you're not really hungry" and it's so true! BUT, you also don't want to ever be so hungry that you are cranky/in pain/weak. You want to stay in the right range. And, after all this time, I'm still working on the idea that after you eat it takes 20 minutes to feel full....I hate still feeling hungry when I'm done eating even though I know I'll feel full a little I try to slow down when I eat, and take sips of water between bites.

Next weekend we're going to my aunt's in Maine with the whole family. I bet she'll go all out with the tempting home-cooked meals. I'll have to make sure to pack my willpower. Yikes.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRUIN2 6/1/2008 10:19PM

    You are SO RIGHT about the need to be hungry in order to lose weight. I'm still working on knowing *when* I'm hungry. It's got to be one of the steepest learning curves I've faced though!

Boston is one of the cities that's on our "must see" list - and every time you blog about stuff you do, it confirms that we're right in wanting to visit!! Sounds like a great bike ride - fresh air is sooooo good for the soul I think!!

Keep up all of your hard work - you are definitely making progress!!!

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