Monday, May 26, 2008
I am at 154.6 today. I realized that all these weekend meals at restaurants have really put my sodium at a much-too-high level, so I'm honestly relieved that my weight isn't even higher due to water retention!
We didn't end up going biking yesterday - we were both really tired. I think we'll go today, though not sure exactly where...Jess is being a little bit bratty about the whole thing ("How long of a bike ride do you want to go on?" "I don't want to go somewhere we've gone before." blah blah blah!) We did go to the gym both yesterday and today though. I noticed all of a sudden that when I flex my arms my biceps actually bulge out a little. Not sure I particularly like that, to be honest.
Anyway, in eight weeks we're spending a weekend on Welfleet in the Cape like usual. That means beach and bikinis. If I lose one pound a week til then, I will be at 147. Not very exciting, but I totally feel like I can lose a pound a week while still going to restaurants, having a life, and eating enough to keep my energy high. But a bikini at 147 pounds? Ick. So then I let my mind wander to dangerous places, and I calculated that if I lose two pounds a week, then by the time we go to the Cape I will be at 139. Unfortunately I have a magical unhealthy fantasy relationship with any weight that has a "3" in the tens place, so to think that I could be there for the Cape is HUGELY MOTIVATING for me. In fact, last summer I dieted hard and was at 139 for the Cape (though that was the weekend I gained 15 pounds in 3 days while we were there, ew). I don't want to diet hard ever again...I want a slow, healthy loss of fat without a loss of energy. So, I am going to shoot for any weight BETWEEN 139 and 147 for the Cape. I'll just have to deal if I'm not feeling quite bikini ready. There is no time limit for reaching my goals, because this is a lifelong quest - even after I hit my goal weight, I will still have to keep up all my healthy habits to maintain it.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
My weight is back up to 155.0 today. I just finished guestimating my calories from last night and ended up with about 2,700. Ugh.
At least I had fun and was very active......and today we're biking the Minuteman Trail! Twelve miles!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Yesterday I went to the gym and did 45 minutes of chest, back, abs, and stretching, and then 45 minutes on the elliptical. Then we walked to and from a restaurant for dinner...over an hour in all. I had almost 2,000 calories yesterday, but was down to 153.8 today anyway, which is a new low (for THIS time around, anyway). This morning I went to Zumba, which is just the most awesome routine because I feel so healthy and alive when I get up early for a great fun workout on Saturday mornings! Then I did another 45 minutes of legs, abs, and stretching. Then we got together with my friend with the puppy for a walk...but it wasn't much of a walk because every few minutes we got stopped by puppy admirers:
"Ohh! How cute! Is that a weimerainer?"
"No, he's a silver lab."
"Really! Wow! I've never heard of a silver lab."
"Yeah, they're rare. But he's beautiful!"
Gotta go. Dinner on Newbury Street tonight with the fam!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Heehee. Yes, here I am blogging from school again!
Jess could not believe I walked on the treadmill for a whole hour yesterday. I was on an incline of about 3-6, and a speed of 4.0-4.4 mph, so I did get my heart rate up. I also did strength training (arms) for the first time since my back issues...I hope I didn't overdo it. I also stuck with the low calories two days in a row - yet another idea that Jess couldn't believe - he thought that being low on calories could backfire on me... but just over 1,400 calories two days in a row isn't THAT low, in my opinion. Especially with no exercise on one of those two days.
You know what's funny? During those 60 minutes on the treadmill, to entertain myself, I was kind of starting to write a blog entry in my head. I was watching this blonde girl who looked like she was straight out of Laguna Beach do her workout, and then the unquestionably hottest guy who goes to my gym (except for my boyfriend, of course) showed up and got on the treadmill right inbetween us...they chatted...and then even after he got off his treadmill he hung around her to talk until the guy I assumed to be her boyfriend came along. Normally I wouldn't even pay much attention, but you know what kind of mood I've been in lately. I will never be 21, blonde, and thin with the associated lifestyle, but that's okay. I am an accomplished woman with a master's degree, a respected profession, and my own real estate. And I don't think I look half bad for 30.
I was asleep around 9 p.m. again last night, which made for a lovely alarm-free morning today around 6:20, and on the scale I got to see 154.4. Nice.
Okay, now to respond to the comments on my blog:
Pamela - I'm sure I'm way too old to be your daughter, haha! You deserve all the praise and attention you've been getting - you have been working REALLY hard! Your husband sounds sweet. As for my goal weight, I am 5'6" so 130 is right in the middle of my healthy BMI range. In my fantasies I'd like to go lower, but I doubt that's realistic. Don't worry about me going too low...at this point, I'm still way too high.
Vidabela - You're right, a lot of people probably just TELL themselves they don't like the unhealthy stuff anymore. I guess a lot of it is training your mind. I try to picture all the nutrients when I'm eating my veggies and fruits. :) As far as flying through the 140s is concerned, I don't think I did it the right way. I did it so quickly that of course it all came back. You're working slowly, focusing on making your healthy habits permanent, and still allowing yourself to go to restaurants once in a while etc... so it should stick. That's way more important than doing it fast.
Susinok - I like the carbs and salt more than the sugar too... I like dinner more than dessert. :) Most of the time. I guess people who are in this boat where we need to work on our weight are people who do have a natural tendency to overeat, so you're right, guilt shouldn't be a factor. I too need to just accept that this is who I am and what I have to work on every single day, and when I mess up, move on. Congrats on maintaining the 70lb loss...quite a big accomplishment!
Bruin - I started WW and SP at the same time, and the only way I usually calculated my points was to look at my nutrition tracker on SP for the calories, fat, and fiber. So WW points were always an afterthought for me. Eventually I realized that all that obsessing over numbers was not helping anything, so I stopped counting points and only count calories now. I feel like a calorie is a real thing, where a point is made up. Plus points can be manipulated (you get a different total of points depending on whether you count each item separately or a whole meal, for instance) but calories can't. However, I do see the benefit of being able to count in your head a little easier. Oh well. Calories are for me. Also, like I said to Pamela, I'm 5'6" so my BMI range is a bit higher. I know I'll never get to the bottom of my healthy range, but I have to admit it is a fantasy. Honestly when I look back at pictures from last year, I was thin enough even at 137. I just know that when I get there I'm going to want to keep going. Hopefully losing more slowly this time and eating more, it won't really make much of a difference whether I try to lose more or maintain. My body will just do what it needs to do...if that makes any sense.
Happy long weekend, everybody!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
So I've been in this mood lately, like all I want to do is play. I want to be at cool bars and lounges in new outfits, I want to be shopping for said new outfits, I want to be hiking and biking and taking fun new classes at the gym, I want to watch DVDs with my friends, I want to play with my friend's lab puppy, I want to play computer games and read fluffy chick novels, I want to be at Red Sox games. And of course I want to be doing all these things in the thin body I had for five minutes last year. I am in a young, flirty, happy, lazy mood. I am NOT in the mood to be at work!
Something about getting thinner does this to me. I couldn't have a sweeter, more dedicated, cuter boyfriend, but something about getting in shape makes me want to get lots of appreciative notice. I feel more outgoing and attractive. Unlike my two single friends, I initiated conversations with three different men at the Liberty Hotel on Saturday night. (Yeah, my boyfriend was there and he didn't particularly appreciate it, but I was just feeling very outgoing! I offered to introduce these guys to my single friends, but they are SO PICKY!!! And they're both stuck on guys from their past..) I can't imagine how fun it would be to be thin and single - I never have been. Now I feel bad for saying that... I DO LOVE MY BOYFRIEND! VERY MUCH! HE'S THE BEST!I am just naturally very flirty. Maybe it's springtime that's doing this to me.
Not that I'm thin yet...still working on it of course. I was back up to 155.0 today, but that's fine. The trend is exactly how I wanted it to be...it is a very slow, gradual slope. I can't wait to find out what happens when I am eating and exercising at this level and my weight gets down farther. Will I be able to work my way through the 140s okay? (Last time I lost weight I barely had time to blink in the 140s, I went through them so fast.) Will I hit a brick wall in the mid-130s again? My big hope is that if I lose slowly with a moderate, reasonable program, that won't happen. My body will have the time it needs to adjust to each new level and I will be able to continue to lose weight as long as there is excess fat to lose. My goal weight is 130. Part of me thinks that's too low, because of how hard it was last time, but I know I was being too extreme last time. Part of me thinks I'll still want to lose even more even if I get to 130...my healthy BMI range goes all the way down to 117. So we'll see, but NONE of me wants to get close to 130 and then just let myself go all over again, so I won't let that happen!
My heart and my mind both want me to get thin. My mind knows it's so much healthier, but my heart just feels so much more confident and attractive when I am thin.
I found a lot of inspiration on SP yesterday. I read through a thread that someone started who, exactly like myself, knew she had to make a lifestyle change but was concerned about her ability to make it permanent. Some people responded that after a while your likes and dislikes change and you won't even be tempted by the old stuff anymore, which goes along with other ideas like being able to count the calories in your head and make accurate guestimates for portions... yeah...no. Not me. I DO like the healthy stuff, for sure. But if in a magical fantasy land it had nothing at all to do with health or weightloss, I would DEFINITELY choose the fat, the carbs, the salt, the sugar, and most importantly, the HUGE portions. I have never gotten to a point where I was like, "ew, fries? They're too greasy for me now." I also don't know if I'll ever be at a point where I won't need to plan/track, either. The calorie levels still surprise me when I enter them, and I also am pretty dependent on the nutrition tracker for levels of nutrients, too. So I guess I better hope SP stays available forever, because that's about as long as I figure I'm going to need it!
This blog entry is starting to drag on as bad as my day is, so I guess I better go find something work-related to do! Thanks for letting me blab.
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