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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Either way, it's inconvenient. I could eat whatever I want and not exercise... but then I'd have to deal with more and more weight gain, getting larger sizes, not being fit enough to do what I used to be able to do, and eventually risk serious health problems. Or I could control it and get back to a healthy weight and a healthy lifestyle.

I choose the healthy option. Even though I know it is inconvenient.

I have to take the time to plan my meals. I have to say no to my old standby, binge eating. I have to choose healthy foods when less healthy options might seem more appealing. I have to work out even when I'd rather be doing other things. But these inconveniences are all worth it. They're my only choice really, for a healthy life.

This time, I'm going to make it liveable. I will go to restaurants, but I will make healthy choices there ALWAYS. Same for parties. But most of the time, I will plan meals and make them myself. They don't have to be boring. I am collecting SP recipes and I can really make ANY recipe (possbly with a few healthys substitutions), as long as - here is the key - I portion it out.

I will plan my calories and let them vary from day to day, depending on how I feel. I'll stick with a few healthy staple items and get creative for a meal a day or so. I will exercise, but it doesn't have to be a drag...I can get my cardio outdoors, in various locations... but I still need to do my strength training 3x/week.

I guess I knew that with this vacation week coming up, I'd have time to recharge my program. I wasn't counting on getting sick, but I'm starting to feel much better now. I guess the final straw was seeing how my poor diet was affecting my complexion, and having my weight go up so high that I actually had to make my ticker a little higher. So yesterday I cleaned out, went grocery shopping, did some cooking and some planning, and I'm already down from yesterday's high of 167.6 to 162.8 today. But it's not a race. I want each pound I lose to be gone for good, no matter how slowly it happens.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KELLYCAN1 4/23/2008 6:06PM

    Glad to see you back Susan. Your optimism and spirit were missed on the boards. Hugs to you!


ps Are you running outside yet?

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SUSINOK 4/23/2008 11:55AM

    A few pounds found themselves onto me as well. I committed to the core plan last week and have tracked all of my foods for a week and so far so good. Tomorrow's weigh-in so we'll see!

Keep at it, Susan, and I'm right in there with you!


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BRUIN2 4/23/2008 10:46AM

    So glad to hear you're feeling better!!

You've got the right attitude and a great game plan!!!

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GAILMAGG 4/23/2008 10:40AM

    I wish you well and your new goals of healthy eating. After awhile it will be so easy to make the right choices.

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ASKITCHENS77 4/23/2008 10:16AM

    It sounds like your ready! Best of Luck to you! I know you can do it!

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PAMELA984 4/23/2008 9:57AM

    Susan - life is all about choices - and portion control - you are young and have the opportunity to change your lifestyle so you will live a long and healthy life. Good for you. Still haven't seen you on the W8W team threads for awhile. Hope you are feeling better

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Hi everyone... I just wanted you all to know that I have bronchitis and am taking a little break....will be back when healthy. Thanks for thinking of me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KELLYCAN1 4/19/2008 8:26PM

    Take care Susan, hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself!

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PAMELA984 4/15/2008 4:25PM

    Sorry to hear that - hope you feel better soon.

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BRUIN2 4/15/2008 4:22PM

    ahhhh, that stinks. Take care of yourself!

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Small Changes

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

How many times have I read the advice to make small changes rather than completely overhauling your life, only to think to myself, "But then it'll take longer to lose weight!"? I finally am accepting that PERMANENT weightloss is based on making small but PERMANENT changes.

Last night after I blogged, I put myself back in the Fast Break step. I didn't actually find the part where you choose three fast break goals, but I think I would like them to be:

1. Get enough sleep (this means actually being asleep by 10:00-10:30 most nights!!!)
2. Drink 8 glasses of water per day
3. Track what I eat, even if it's not in my calorie range.

#3 comes from reading the Fast Break overview, where it was suggested that you start with today's menu. So I went into my nutrition page, where I'd actually planned a healthy day's worth of food but hadn't stuck to it. So I changed it to reflect what I actually ate and...OMG...eye-opening moment...I found that I had eaten 3,995 calories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I hadn't even considered yesterday to be a particularly "bad" day! Most of the extra calories came from eating a whole container of nuts rather than just one serving. Almost 50 percent of my calories came from fat!

I felt disgusting and awful after I saw that, and I couldn't blog about it because my boyfriend was sitting next to me and I didn't want him to see me writing about it (although I did eventually tell him, because it was bothering me so much).

It is a relief, and a very different feeling, to think that I don't need to be perfect in all areas right now. All I need to do for now is make my three Fast Break goals permanent habits. And in the process, I hope to learn a lot about what I choose to eat and why. And of course, the simple fact that I am tracking everything SHOULD help prevent me from having another four thousand calorie day!!

(PS - Is it crazy that I wasn't even stuffed after all that eating? I wonder how many calories I eat on days that I actually DO get stuffed. Do I have a much bigger appetite than most people? Isn't it normal to feel full after eating half that much? No wonder it's hard for me, but I can't let myself get away with an unhealthy lifestyle with excuses. I just have to do that much more to stop the binge eating - bring on the water!!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VIDABELA 4/8/2008 5:38PM

    when i track my calories on "crazy eating" days i find that i come to about 4000 calories too. it IS quite..shocking. it seems like SO many calories but it also seemed so easy to get there sometimes. sigh lol..
but i think you're definitely on the right track. it is hard to accept the fact that sometimes slower is better and more permanent but i think thats the only way to get off the roller coaster. keep it up!! with a bit of consistency and small, permanent changes we'll both reach our goals!

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PAMELA984 4/8/2008 1:51PM

    Just being aware is half the battle. You have been doing so good - you will be able to get there again. Just keep plugging away at things - this is, after all, a lifestyle change - that means it is for life - not just something we do and then we are done with it and don't have to think about it anymore. Keep posting and we will keep supporting you.

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    It very much is about the "small changes" to set you up for permanent success. I, too, am on the Fast Break stage. I plan to stay there until I am consistent. Then and only then will I continue to the next step. I tell you what, our three goals were almost identical. I also chose the 8 glasses of water as well as tracking what I ate. Was I amazed at the calorie consumption. Talk about an eye opener. The tools that SP provides us really are very helpful and put here for a reason. I feel that if we all follow, we will all be SP success stories. =) Best of luck in obtaining your goals...remember, minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day...whatever you do, no matter what mistake, just dust off and get back on!

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My Struggles

Monday, April 07, 2008

Right now I'm not feeling the spark and really don't feel motivated to do what I think I need to do, which is to completely start my program fresh, including rehauling my sparkpage. I'm not feeling up to that, but I should write something.

Yesterday I was out for dinner in a group of 11 people and I finished eating first. My boyfriend finished soon after I did, and then everyone else finished MUCH later. That would be something to work on - eating slower. I looked at the half-eaten meals on other people's plates and it looked like they had so much food, somehow it looked like more than I'd had even though I knew that wasn't true. That's something I bet I do subconsciously all the time - think I'm eating less than I really am,

Another thing I need is more sleep...more water too...maybe I should seriously start oer with a fast break on sparkpeople again. Knowing everything I know now about what works, what messes me up, and what helps me keep things going...

I need to do an intensive independent study in moderation. I seriously need to figure that piece out or I will never make peace with my weight...I cannot strictly diet for long, and I can't let myself stay overweight either. I have to learn moderation because it is the only option I am willing to accept for the long term. But I don't know why it's so hard for me in the short term! Every day it's either "not yet, I'm still gonna binge today," or "I gotta lose a lot by X date, and then after that I will do moderation."

Why can't I start moderation RIGHT NOW???

I'm convincing myself. I am going to stop blogging for now and look into starting my program again, with a fast break. (Confession time - I skipped the fast break last time.)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRUIN2 4/7/2008 10:14PM

    You know what you have to do! You can do it!

I have issues with eating too fast too - so I've been trying to put my fork down in between each bite. I feel *so* dorky doing it sometimes, but it definitely puts things in perspective. Picked up that trick from the TLC show "I can make you thin" - some of the stuff he says is too hokey for me, but I like that one.

And, the more water you drink, the less you'll eat - for one thing you'll be peeing too often to be able to eat as much! hehehe.

Start by focusing on the things that you can change in the short term - like sleeping and drinking water, the weight loss will follow.

You CAN do this!!!

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Saturday, March 29, 2008

So I blew it at the gala...I ate until I hurt, and then I ate some more. I went up to 163.0 pounds on Friday. But on Friday I was very disciplined, stuck to my plan like glue, did my workout, and today I had lost it all and then some to 158.8. Tomorrow is the weigh-in. Today is going to be a STRICT DAY.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VIDABELA 3/29/2008 12:57PM

    way to go for getting right back on track!

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