Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Either way, it's inconvenient. I could eat whatever I want and not exercise... but then I'd have to deal with more and more weight gain, getting larger sizes, not being fit enough to do what I used to be able to do, and eventually risk serious health problems. Or I could control it and get back to a healthy weight and a healthy lifestyle.
I choose the healthy option. Even though I know it is inconvenient.
I have to take the time to plan my meals. I have to say no to my old standby, binge eating. I have to choose healthy foods when less healthy options might seem more appealing. I have to work out even when I'd rather be doing other things. But these inconveniences are all worth it. They're my only choice really, for a healthy life.
This time, I'm going to make it liveable. I will go to restaurants, but I will make healthy choices there ALWAYS. Same for parties. But most of the time, I will plan meals and make them myself. They don't have to be boring. I am collecting SP recipes and I can really make ANY recipe (possbly with a few healthys substitutions), as long as - here is the key - I portion it out.
I will plan my calories and let them vary from day to day, depending on how I feel. I'll stick with a few healthy staple items and get creative for a meal a day or so. I will exercise, but it doesn't have to be a drag...I can get my cardio outdoors, in various locations... but I still need to do my strength training 3x/week.
I guess I knew that with this vacation week coming up, I'd have time to recharge my program. I wasn't counting on getting sick, but I'm starting to feel much better now. I guess the final straw was seeing how my poor diet was affecting my complexion, and having my weight go up so high that I actually had to make my ticker a little higher. So yesterday I cleaned out, went grocery shopping, did some cooking and some planning, and I'm already down from yesterday's high of 167.6 to 162.8 today. But it's not a race. I want each pound I lose to be gone for good, no matter how slowly it happens.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Hi everyone... I just wanted you all to know that I have bronchitis and am taking a little break....will be back when healthy. Thanks for thinking of me!
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
How many times have I read the advice to make small changes rather than completely overhauling your life, only to think to myself, "But then it'll take longer to lose weight!"? I finally am accepting that PERMANENT weightloss is based on making small but PERMANENT changes.
Last night after I blogged, I put myself back in the Fast Break step. I didn't actually find the part where you choose three fast break goals, but I think I would like them to be:
1. Get enough sleep (this means actually being asleep by 10:00-10:30 most nights!!!)
2. Drink 8 glasses of water per day
3. Track what I eat, even if it's not in my calorie range.
#3 comes from reading the Fast Break overview, where it was suggested that you start with today's menu. So I went into my nutrition page, where I'd actually planned a healthy day's worth of food but hadn't stuck to it. So I changed it to reflect what I actually ate and...OMG...eye-opening moment...I found that I had eaten 3,995 calories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I hadn't even considered yesterday to be a particularly "bad" day! Most of the extra calories came from eating a whole container of nuts rather than just one serving. Almost 50 percent of my calories came from fat!
I felt disgusting and awful after I saw that, and I couldn't blog about it because my boyfriend was sitting next to me and I didn't want him to see me writing about it (although I did eventually tell him, because it was bothering me so much).
It is a relief, and a very different feeling, to think that I don't need to be perfect in all areas right now. All I need to do for now is make my three Fast Break goals permanent habits. And in the process, I hope to learn a lot about what I choose to eat and why. And of course, the simple fact that I am tracking everything SHOULD help prevent me from having another four thousand calorie day!!
(PS - Is it crazy that I wasn't even stuffed after all that eating? I wonder how many calories I eat on days that I actually DO get stuffed. Do I have a much bigger appetite than most people? Isn't it normal to feel full after eating half that much? No wonder it's hard for me, but I can't let myself get away with an unhealthy lifestyle with excuses. I just have to do that much more to stop the binge eating - bring on the water!!)
Monday, April 07, 2008
Right now I'm not feeling the spark and really don't feel motivated to do what I think I need to do, which is to completely start my program fresh, including rehauling my sparkpage. I'm not feeling up to that, but I should write something.
Yesterday I was out for dinner in a group of 11 people and I finished eating first. My boyfriend finished soon after I did, and then everyone else finished MUCH later. That would be something to work on - eating slower. I looked at the half-eaten meals on other people's plates and it looked like they had so much food, somehow it looked like more than I'd had even though I knew that wasn't true. That's something I bet I do subconsciously all the time - think I'm eating less than I really am,
Another thing I need is more sleep...more water too...maybe I should seriously start oer with a fast break on sparkpeople again. Knowing everything I know now about what works, what messes me up, and what helps me keep things going...
I need to do an intensive independent study in moderation. I seriously need to figure that piece out or I will never make peace with my weight...I cannot strictly diet for long, and I can't let myself stay overweight either. I have to learn moderation because it is the only option I am willing to accept for the long term. But I don't know why it's so hard for me in the short term! Every day it's either "not yet, I'm still gonna binge today," or "I gotta lose a lot by X date, and then after that I will do moderation."
Why can't I start moderation RIGHT NOW???
I'm convincing myself. I am going to stop blogging for now and look into starting my program again, with a fast break. (Confession time - I skipped the fast break last time.)
Saturday, March 29, 2008
So I blew it at the gala...I ate until I hurt, and then I ate some more. I went up to 163.0 pounds on Friday. But on Friday I was very disciplined, stuck to my plan like glue, did my workout, and today I had lost it all and then some to 158.8. Tomorrow is the weigh-in. Today is going to be a STRICT DAY.
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