Thursday, November 22, 2007
I weighed 148.4 this morning. I am absolutely determined to stick to my hardcore plan today. I'm drinking coffee now (almost 10 a.m.) and about to go to the gym for an hour of cardio, and I will log everything I ate after I come home from Thanksgiving dinner and make sure my daily total stays in my range.
If I were the size I was yesterday on wedding day, I'd probably rip the dress at the reception. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I have 9 days left. I can make a serious impact if I really work it. I feel like a celeb preparing for a red carpet appearance!!
PS - I've written the first 15 pages of my novel!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
"Day 1"...always so ripe with possibilities. This current Day 1 marks the first of ten days I have to get in shape before my brother's wedding. The dress I'm wearing is size 6. The good news is that I just tried it on and was actually able to zip it up. The bad news is that I was one sneeze away from breaking the zipper and it was way too tight to be comfortable. I have a lot of work to do over the next ten days!
It will be very important to space out my 1,200-1,225 calories throughout the day otherwise I might "accidentally" eat everything before lunchtime. Therefore, in addition to all the rules I listed on my main page, I will also stick to the following plan:
Approximately 400 calories by 11 a.m. (breakfast)
Approximately 400 calories between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. (lunch)
Approximately 400 calories after 3 p.m. (dinner)
Exception: I can save some of my earlier calories for later in the day if I want to. (For example, if I sleep in or if I'm really busy in the morning!)
I just weighed myself....since it was the middle of the day and I've been drinking a lot of fluids today, it was probably at least 3 pounds higher than what I consider my "real" weight (morning before eating/drinking)...and it was....153.0. So my "real" weight is probably about 150. That means I gained 6 pounds in 4 days of binge eating out of control. Yeah. That's about what I'd expect, knowing my super human ability to gain weight fast. (And unfortunately I don't have a similar ability to lose fast...but I will try!)
I have a recipe I invented currently cooking in the crockpot...pretty proud of it, hope it tastes good...I am calling it "fall harvest soup"...olive oil, onion, butternut squash, broth, milk, nuts, ginger, carrots, sweet potato, mushrooms, apple, Indian spices, apple pie spice, parsley, and Splenda.
I am toying with the idea of writing a novel about a young woman losing weight. If I can get into it, I think it'd be really motivating for me...so far I have a shell of an idea...it would start with a young chubby girl in middle school with her chubby best friend...other kids treat them terribly and they have no luck with boys... fast forward to just after college, and the chubby girl is now a chubby young woman living on her own for the first time in a new city with a new job and she runs into her old friend from middle school, only her friend is now superfit, a health nut, and dating a really shallow guy who has a single cute friend who the main character develops a major crush on. The friend sets her up on a strict diet and exercise program and as motivation she plans a huge party including surprising the main character with a gorgeous expensive outfit in size 2. So of course the main character is motivated to lose weight to be like her friend, try to get the guy, and to fit into the party outfit and look good for the big bash. She diets hardcore, but she is not truly intrinsically motivated, and she's pushing too hard, so she can't stick to it. But she meets a guy at her gym who is training for a 10K that just happens to be taking place the day of the big party. The guy encourages her to run and slowly she improves, though she never imagines she could run a 10K. But she's getting fitter although she's not really losing weight and is starting to feel pretty good about things...until her friend gets upset that she's not dieting hard enough. She tries to motivate her by telling her that her boyfriend's cute single friend has said that she has a really pretty face and he'd definitely ask her out if she were thinner. But when she tries to diet she finds that she can't run as well and she misses running....so she makes a decision to just do what feels good and gets rid of her scale. She gets so into running that she decides to sign up for the 10K that her male friend at the gym is running, and she starts to notice how cute he is, but she still definitely has her crush on her friend's boyfriend's friend until she overhears him making derogatory comments about her weight. She confronts her friend who admits that she had made up the story about the guy being interested in her, and she's so mad she decides she's going to boycot the party. She runs the race and at the finish line she finds her friend, who came to suprise her and tell her she's sorry. She also finds her gym friend who surprises her with a kiss. She decides she will go to the big party afterall, and she'll bring her running friend as her date. She tries on the size 2 outfit and it's too small, so she settles for something in size 6. She goes to the party and looks fabulous, the jerky guy who's friends with her friend's boyfriend hasn't seen her in months and, impressed with how she looks, hits on her and she blows him off, her new guy tells her she looks great and admits he thinks her friend is too skinny, and her friend finds her boyfriend making out with some superskinny bimbo and dumps him.
Okay, that's more than the shell of a story - that's a pretty good, though very predictable plot!! But I didn't have it all figured out like that til I just typed it all out.
If I actually write this story, I'll post it on my blog. :)
Monday, November 12, 2007
It's February 2008, and I am in Jamaica. I have just checked in and put my suitcase in my room. What to wear to check out the resort? I look through all my teensy new clothes and settle on just a sexy bikini, cute short shorts, and flip flops. Why not - I look good enough! I run out and check out the rest of the resort, not for one moment worrying about how I look, or any bulges, or any excessive bouncing. For the rest of the vacation, the only time I put on more than just a bikini is when I'm getting meals and in the evening - and even then my outfits are still pretty revealing. But for the sun-filled days, I'm just wearing adorable bikinis and hanging around the beach and pool, knowing that every man has glanced approvingly and every woman is just a little bit envious...or at least inspired to work out. :)
As I'm enjoying my vacation I think back to my months of hard work to get to where I am now, and I realize that all the careful planning, the strict diet, and intense exercise regiment were all SO worth it.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
How great do you feel when you've been doing well? Eating healthy, exercising, full of energy, looking good, pumped up with self-esteem. All of a sudden my big belly has shrunk back down close to pre-binge size, and best of all I'm getting close to be being able to fit somewhat comfortably into my bridesmaid dress - just still tight under the arms and a bit in the belly area. And my size 4 pants are tight, but they fit once again. I'm going out tonight, social things are so much more fun when you know you look good! I was good at a restaurant today - didn't want to go, would have been easier to just stay with the plan I'd had, but Jess' mom wanted to take us out. I ordered tilapia without the cilantro butter while they both had the buffet. I had a taste of their stuff but when I started to feel like I'd had enough I put my napkin on top of my plate and I was DONE.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Sure, I've gone on plan, off plan, on plan off, and now on again...but I like to think of it as a zig-zag that keeps getting closer to being a straight line. Each time I go off, I hope I go a little LESS off - noticing portion size, being able to pinpoint what I'm not doing right. And likewise, each time I go on, well, I don't want to be less "on," but I want to strike a balance. A calorie level that works for me. An exercise routine that does the same. At the gym lately I've been doing cardio for 15 minutes, then 30 minutes of strength training (alternating days of chest/back, legs, and shoulders/arms), then 15 more minutes of cardio. It's quick and leaves me wanting more, but it's long enough that I don't feel guilty. Sixty minutes feels like the perfect amount of time because they say 30-60 minutes to prevent overtraining, but 60-90 for weightloss...
The one thing I need to get more consistent with is my ab work - I have a computer video that is a great eight-minute ab workout, but I haven't been doing it!
I'm starting to like how I look again...down from a high of 154+ last Thursday to 146.4 this Thursday to 145.8 today (Friday) to hopefully even less tomorrow. Eight pounds in one week! That's what happens when you go from junking your body up with nasty binge food to a return to healthy eating.
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