SEPPIESUSAN   33,007
SparkPoints
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
 
 
SEPPIESUSAN's Recent Blog Entries

Halloween Challenge!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I will meticulously track and eat 1,475-1,525 balanced, healthy calories per day tomorrow (Wednesday), Thursday, and Friday. On Saturday we are going to an early Thanksgiving dinner, and I won't track but I will make good choices. Saturday night I will look good in my costume!

Even by Thursday I should feel a little better about my WW weigh-in. I think I will see an initial drop of pounds quickly. I hope to be at 145 by Saturday.

By the way... I haven't eaten since before the gym tonight, which is good, but I also binged on junky dessert food at school today, which isn't good.

Moving forward, though...

If there is one thing I can take away from my weight management saga over the past (almost) year it is EXPERIENCE. I know what to do now, even though I don't do it consistently. I KNOW how to get back to a point where I feel good about my body and my fitness level. It will suck and I will be hungry a lot and I will be tempted to cheat, but I won't. Not Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday of this week. I can complain to my heart's content in my blog, I can gorge on water and coffee (without added calories!) and gum, and my workouts can suffer (although I actually think I will improve...I've gotten jiggly enough that my running is suffering, and of course my heart rate is also going up)... but I WILL NOT CHEAT on my calorie plan.

Looking forward to a thinner Saturday. :)

  


Gotta Do This One Thing...

Monday, October 22, 2007

I MUST spread out my food to make it last longer, take more/longer water/gum/plain old no eating breaks in between, and DON'T eat extra at night.

Even if I do this one little thing, I will be doing better than I have been!

  


Possible Solution?

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Without really trying, I have managed to get back down to 147 from 152 in a few days. I do believe it is possible to keep my weight in the 140s while eating basically what I want with lots of exercise. Just a little control in the eating department. Maybe that's what I do most of the time, and then when I have a special event I introduce a little extra control to get down to the 130s.

Yesterday I ran 5K on the treadmill in 27:10. Today we did a quick hike up Blue Hills with Jess' parents and I'd like to go for an outdoor run. Gorgeous outside today.

  


Words of Wisdom from one of the WW Friends

Friday, October 19, 2007

Below is a copy/paste of what Alamogal1963 wrote on the Weight Watchers Friends Group forum in response to my whining about how hard it is to manage my weight. She has a lot of great points and I am so grateful for people like her who truly took the time out of her day to write me some thoughtful, useful, wise advice. Below that is my response...

"Susan, no matter what we say about how good you look or how successful you've been, you have set your own personal goal and now you are too far from it and it makes you very uncomfortable. If you want to get back to your goal, then it is time for you to go to the meeting.

But I'd like you to consider something else too. Is it possible that your goal, while realistic for your brain (and magazines), isn't really what your body wants or needs? The body has a way of taking care of itself despite what the conscious mind thinks. Ever have an overwhelming craving for oranges when you normally don't eat them? I believe that is your body telling you it's a bit low on Vitamin C. Same goes for a good steak when you're a bit anemic. Mother Nature has ways of protecting your body with hidden signals. The fact that you are eating "just a bit more" may be the way your body is telling you, "Hey lady! OK, I let you get the fat off me for a bit and you had your little party, now it's time to consider me."

The human body needs just a bit of padding to be healthy. It promotes good sleep, creates stores for energy when it's needed, allows you to recover from accidents or surgery better, and also promotes a general sense of well being. It's very easy to look at the scale and scold yourself or become unrealistic about 'a number'. Speaking of numbers, how are yours? Are you at what is considered a healthy weight for your height? Is your cholesterol, triglycerieds, blood pressure, etc. within normal limits? If so, I suggest giving yourself a break regarding a certain number on the scale. I'm not sure of your age, but I'm in my mid-40's and those things I just mentioned are very important to me vs. a target weight. My max weight for my BMI is 168 so that is the target ceiling for my weight. Would I like to weigh 150? Absolutely! But I haven't weighed that since I was 14 so how realistic is that? That was my dance team ceiling weight in high school and I struggled terribly to get it and maintain it. I could probably hit 150 but I know in my heart I couldn't stay there. All I'm saying is that perhaps you might reconsider your perfect number and shift your focus to maintaining your healthy self with a healthy diet and continued exercise. Being healthy and happy is what's important. It's obvious you are healthy and your ability to be happy is up to you and you alone. YOU control that Happy Meter. Perhaps happiness with your body is right in front of you if you would allow yourself to experience it. :o) ((hugs))"



Here's my response...

"Susan, no matter what we say about how good you look or how successful you've been, you have set your own personal goal and now you are too far from it and it makes you very uncomfortable. If you want to get back to your goal, then it is time for you to go to the meeting. "

I did go to my meeting, but I didn't weigh in and instead of feeling inspired, I felt a little bit guilty that others are following the program and I'm not. And I felt a little angry because I know how hard it is.
I appreciate the acknowledgement that it's really not about other people's comments trying to make me feel better (and I get "oh, you still look great don't be so hard on yourself" all the time)... Becky is exactly right that it is about ME failing to maintain MY goal that I set for myself. There is no law that says I have to be at a particular weight. There is also no law that says that if other people say I'm fine, I don't have to worry. These are all choices I have to make, every breathing second.

"But I'd like you to consider something else too. Is it possible that your goal, while realistic for your brain (and magaz
ines), isn't really what your body wants or needs? The body has a way of taking care of itself despite what the conscious mind thinks. Ever have an overwhelming craving for oranges when you normally don't eat them? I believe that is your body telling you it's a bit low on Vitamin C. Same goes for a good steak when you're a bit anemic. Mother Nature has ways of protecting your body with hidden signals. The fact that you are eating "just a bit more" may be the way your body is telling you, "Hey lady! OK, I let you get the fat off me for a bit and you had your little party, now it's time to consider me." "

I have thought about this a lot, and while I do agree to some degree that my body was crying out, "EAT!" before, now I'm following habits that are going to get me right back to where I started - at an overweight BMI. I know my cardiovascular fitness level is decreasing despite continuing intense exercise. I know this because I often measure my fitness level with the Stairmaster fit test, and I haven't been doing as well lately. (I also sometimes check my resting heart rate in bed and that's increased quite a bit, from around 40 BPM to 70.) Since I am still exercising hard and often, I can only attribute the decreased fitness to gaining fat.
I can't tell the difference between my body telling me something and my brain telling me something. I think they may be too interconnected to piece out. But I do know that my natural habits, the way I eat when I am not carefully in control, put me at an unhealthy weight. So I can't justify any of what's been going on by saying that this is just my body's way of telling me what it needs. What it needs is to stay at a healthy weight, not go back up to the 160s! I think I have a particularly difficult time with the shades of gray between following my entire food program like an angel and throwing it all out the window. (Exercise, on the other hand, is something I seem better able to use moderation with, and also to stick with for the long term.) I think what may have started as my body telling me it needed a few more calories quickly changed to my old habits of overeating returning with a vengence.

"The human body needs just a bit of padding to be healthy. It promotes good sleep, creates stores for energy when it's needed, allows you to recover from accidents or surgery better, and also promotes a general sense of well being. It's very easy to look at the scale and scold yourself or become unrealistic about 'a number'. Speaking of numbers, how are yours? Are you at what is considered a healthy weight for your height? Is your cholesterol, triglycerieds, blood pressure, etc. within normal limits? If so, I suggest giving yourself a break regarding a certain number on the scale. I'm not sure of your age, but I'm in my mid-40's and those things I just mentioned are very important to me vs. a target weight. My max weight for my BMI is 168 so that is the target ceiling for my weight. Would I like to weigh 150? Absolutely! But I haven't weighed that since I was 14 so how realistic is that? That was my dance team ceiling weight in high school and I struggled terribly to get it and maintain it. I could probably hit 150 but I know in my heart I couldn't stay there. All I'm saying is that perhaps you might reconsider your perfect number and shift your focus to maintaining your healthy self with a healthy diet and continued exercise. Being healthy and happy is what's important. It's obvious you are healthy and your ability to be happy is up to you and you alone. YOU control that Happy Meter. Perhaps happiness with your body is right in front of you if you would allow yourself to experience it. :o) ((hugs)) "

I'm really not sure about this...my healthy range is 124-148 according to WW, or up to 155 if you ignore the age factor. I have read several articles suggesting that being female and having a medium frame suggests that it may be healthier to be toward the lower end of that range. Regardless, I did come into this whole program thinking I'd be happy as long as my BMI was in the healthy range. Considering how frighteningly quickly my weight increased from 135 to today's 152 (UGH), I could easily see myself falling above the healthy BMI range very soon if I don't do something about this.

Is there a solution??!?!?!? How can I ever learn to maintain a healthy weight for the long term? Am I doomed to periods of obsession, then months of being "off the wagon", with my weight constantly yo-yoing? Am I going to give it all up and just go back to the weight my body is used to, in the 160s? I am so sad I could cry.

Here's the stark truth about one thing: I have to fit into my bridesmaid dress for my brother's wedding. No matter what else happens, I have to be in the 130s for that to happen on that one day, December 1.

It's time to review what works and find ways to help myself. For example, I know that drinking a lot of water helps, and getting a lot of sleep. If I do these two things, sticking with a program won't seem as hard. I will still have to impose control, but it will be easier to do that.

I need to use whatever motivates me. About a week ago I ran into an ex at a bar. I want to look good when I run into people. I want to look good in my clothes.....and at the very least I NEED to FIT into them!

I am very frustrated. Talking about things that motivate me aren't feeling very motivating right now. I acquired so much wisdom over the months thatI was following my program, and it's like I keep forgetting what I've learned. The rule of planning what I was going to eat the night before and eating ONLY THAT was so key, and now I either don't plan at all, or I do plan, eat it all by early afternoon, and then eat lots of food that isn't on my plan.

I am so frustrated by seeing the reverse of all the positive things that were happening to my body. I remember when I first noticed my arms were thinner. Now I've noticed they're fatter again. Soft, cushiony, thicker, wider. All over my body.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRUSSELL35 10/20/2007 9:41AM

    Susan-I have to agree with what Robin says...I can also feel your feelings on what you want...but remember you were there once and you can do it again...


Report Inappropriate Comment
ROLOHA 10/20/2007 9:13AM

    Susan - sounds like you are being very hard on yourself? Try to get back to basics like counting points and journaling. Focus on mindful, healthy eating and lifestyle rather than deprivation/dieting. You know what works for you and you've shown you can do it....making it permanent takes time and practice and will not be without challenges. You're much more active and athletic now...just need to find your balance again and success will be the reward! Robin

Report Inappropriate Comment


Race Results - Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation 5K

Monday, October 15, 2007


http://www.coolrunning.com/results/07/ma/O
ct14_DougFl_set1.shtml and then ctrl-F to search for my name.

347 40/94 F1929 29:13 9:26 29 F 783

I came in 347th place overall, and 40th in the female 19-29 division (out of 94 people). It took me 29 minutes and 13 seconds to run 5K (3.1 miles), which is, of course, UNDER A HALF HOUR!! On average, I ran 1 mile every 9 minutes and 26 seconds.

I am very proud of myself!!!!

By my calculations, I ran about 6.4 mph on average.
http://www.coolrunning.com/results/07/ma/Oct14_DougFl_set1.shtml

  


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 Last Page