Friday, May 11, 2007
WHY was I beating myself up over being hungry? Athletes don't feel guilty about the food they eat to increase their performance! Here's the thing. I am officially ready to start maintanence. My weight is well within the healthy BMI range, I weigh less than ever (well, since I was probably 13 years old!) and I wear a size 6! I AM HAPPY WITH THAT. I accept myself the way I am!!! My goals now are to MAINTAIN my weight, increase my energy, increase my happiness, increasing my fitness level and exercising a lot, and figuring out a plan that is going to work for me for the long run. Something where I don't gain weight, but I'm not starving. Something where I am using my extra calories in a healthy way, and not eating twice as much sodium as I should. Something where I can handle real life events like luncheons and dinners. I want a backup plan that I can resort to if my weight goes up. (Back to weight-loss mode stat!)
I am happy with myself. I am sticking with my Weight Watchers maintanence plan. I ate a bit over 2,000 calories today but between my 4 extra maintanence points 5 flex points, and a LOT of high intensity exercise, I stuck to the plan. By the end of the day I needed 6 more points, so I went out for a run! It was great! I can do this!!!!!!!!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
I keep adding more calories, and keep thinking I'm hungry, but I think I can tell the difference between severe can-hardly-move-a-muscle-I'm-so-starved hunger and just "I like to eat a lot" hunger. I am a person who LOVES to eat a lot, but that doesn't mean I can if I want to keep the weight off (and lose a bit more). When it's not SERIOUS hunger, it's not an excuse to eat more! We already know that without imposing limits, I wouldn't stop!!
Today I increased my weight goal on SparkPeople to 130 (up from 124) and changed my weekly goal from 2 lb. per week to 0.5 pounds per week. SparkPeople now says to eat 1,550-1,860 calories per day!!! So, I ate 1,859 calories today. hahaha. Of course that was FAR more than I was supposed to eat Points-wise. Even with a lot of exercise today I still ended up 11 points over with no flexpoints left to use. BUT, on maintanence you get 4 extra points per day so when I recalculated my week's points as if I were on maintanence, I came out fine.
I'm not going to stress out over it! Stress is not healthy! I would MUCH rather be happy, energetic, active, and 135-140 pounds than miserable, tired, and weak at under 130. At least, that's what I'm trying to convince myself!!!!!!!!
By the way, I went for a 12 mile bike ride this evening. Wheeee!!:) It was 11.mph, 5.3 minutes per mile. I wasn't going for top speed, just for fun. I did Coolidge Street to 27 to Speen to Hartford to 126 to Howard (Fabric Place street) to Kendall! I wasn't planning on going that far, but was having too much fun to stop. :)
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
I have to admit something. I have NOT been feeling fantastic all the time the past few weeks. Here I am with a great job, my own condo, the best boyfriend I could ever possibly imagine, and now even THINNESS, and I was miserable the past few weeks. I was hungry and tired all the time, my stomach was painfully bloated (I'm almost positive it's from eating too much fiber), and instead of really celebrating any of my accomplishments I just kept setting newer and more difficult goals.
Hold on here!!! What is wrong with this picture?
This is almost not a choice. I was feeling so awful that I HAD to increase my calorie intake. Sometimes I felt like I barely had the energy to reposition my legs in bed, and yet I'm supposedly in the best shape of my life.
No!! I AM in the best shape of my life, by FAR! Weighing 134-136 is such a change for me that I am still learning how to deal with it. Sticking with a nutrition program for this long is so new to me that I'm learning how to deal with that too. I don't know why I hit the wall at the point that I did, but I can tell that even though I could handle the under 1,300 calorie a day thing for a while, that stopped. It has nothing to do with willpower. I had all the willpower in the world but my body was screaming "feed me more" with its sheer exhaustion. It took me a while to get the message. I have not really had any fun the past few weeks - I've been too tired! Any surges of energy I've had were used for working out. At night I just wanted to be in bed - I was tired, plus I was sick of seeing other people eat and drink when I was so ridiculously hungry.
I don't know if it's possible, but I still want to try to lose weight. I still want to follow Weight Watchers, but there are going to be some big changes.
*I am going to use my flex points!
*I think I'll aim for the 1,300-1,550 calorie range. I will listen to my body. If I am having a day where I can handle less, I will eat less. If I am having a day where I feel seriously weak and tired, I will examine the reasons. It might be sleep deprivation. But if it's hunger, I will eat.
*This DOES mean that I am going to have to up the ante with activity points. My daily target is still 21 points. I'll use today as an example - today my food total is 30 points. I have 9 flex points left this week to cover 3 days, so that's 3 per day. So 30-3=27, and 27-21=6. So, I have to earn 6 activity points today. However, with the increased energy I have from eating more, combined with my increased fitness level from all the work I've already put in, that should be no problem!!
*I have to stop making everything no fun. Heart rate monitors, push-push-push until I am desperate to stop after 20 minutes when I used to be fine going 1-2 hours, playing around with eating .5 or .4 servings of arugula to keep the meal at a certain number of points - this is no way to live!!! I need to find a balance. It is still SO important for me to count my points/calories. I am NOT giving myself permission to slack off. I just have to listen to my body.
Weight-wise, I have been at about the same weight now for 2-3 weeks: 134-137. This is FANTASTIC considering that most of my adult life I weighed 160-180!!! I should celebrate this! I am a size 6!!! Big change from my old 12-14s. I do NOT have a perfect body, I still have more fat on my butt/thighs than I want, and I do know plenty of people who are thinner than me...but that doesn't matter. I accomplished this and I should be proud of myself.
Having said that, I am not ready to give up on losing any more weight. I just don't care how long it takes. I figure that as long as I stay on the Weight Watchers plan I should keep being able to lose weight, though it happens much more slowly when you use the flexpoints. I have been really conflicted about that size 6 bridesmaid dress I ordered (runs small), but I think I won't call and try to order the 8. I think that the 8 would probably be a perfect fit at 140 and the 6 at 130. At this point I would be thrilled losing a pound a month. Really! I will just keep to my plan, keep eating healthy, keep tracking everything, never go above 35 flexpoints, and keep exercising as hard as I can without completely hating it.
By the way, I do think it's best to keep my daily calorie goal as a range rather than a strict number, but keep this in mind - my daily total is 21 points. That is about 1,050 calories. If I ate 5 flex points every day, that's 250 extra calories, or 1,250 calories per day. However, I have to be really careful because if I use the max every day, there is no wiggle room by the end of the week, and I WILL NOT GO OVER ON MY POINTS!!! Anyways, WW recommends earning 4 activity points per day. That's 200 more calories, or 1,450 calories per day. Of course, I can earn more than 4 activity points, but that just gives me a general idea. Supposedly the Weight Watchers program is designed to have you lose 1-2 pounds per week. I don't expect to lose that fast with my increased calorie intake, in fact I am actually a little worried about GAINING weight. But I also think that maybe after a little while with my calories at the higher end of the range I could probably handle a system where some days I eat a little less. Also, I can still be strict about logging every calorie I eat, and as long as I stick with the plan maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised. I know that there are plenty of diets out there that recommend eating around this amount, or even more...
Anyway, I feel good about this plan. To sum it all up, I'm still doing weight watchers but I'm using my flex points because I desperately needed more energy. I'll be able to exercise more and earn more activity points to eat more - nice cycle. :) I'll keep losing weight but I expect the pace to drop off significantly. As long as I weigh a little less each month, that's perfect. Most importantly, I am going to have fun and celebrate my accomplishments. Beach, pool, clothes shopping, going out at night wearing my tiny new outfits, and sometimes just not feeling guilty about chilling in front of the TV!!! After all, I need rest for all that exercise I'm gonna do. :)
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Last night I was feeling tired and hungry even with the increase to 1,300-1,400 calories per day. But I really wanted to have a happy Tale from the Scale this morning, so I just got in bed and read, watched TV, Jess and I watched a couple episodes of Entourage on DVD. Was back to 135.6 this morning which is still higher than a week ago but lower than the past couple days. Slept until 11:30 this morning - heavenly!!! But I never used to need that much sleep. It was really nice to have less time I had to spread out my food over. I actually got to eat a lot but all my eating was from about 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. Going out tonight and will have to survive on coffee and gum. Eating a bit over 1,400 calories tomorrow (have it all planned out already).
Did 71 minutes on the gauntlet at the gym, the first 30 or so were at level 7, then most of the rest was at 6, a bit at 5. I was going to do 99 minutes but when the machine accidentally stopped at 71 I stopped. Did only 1 set of my strength exercises, and stretching....
Gotta shower, bye!
Friday, May 04, 2007
I just filled in a worksheet I got from my WW meeting. It's called "Empowering Beliefs."
Believing in yourself makes a big difference. It's very important to become aware of what you believe about your weight-related goals. Your weight-management success will hinge on whether and how strongly you believe:
*Your goals are desirable and worth the effort to achieve them.
*You're capable of achieving them.
*You deserve (are worthy) to achieve your desired outcome.
Write a one-sentence description of a weight-related outcome that you want to achieve:
I want to weigh 124 pounds.
To strengthen your beliefs, explore the following:
1. Do you really believe that your desired outcome is worth the effort it will take to achieve it?
If not, how can you make your goal more desirable so that you strongly feel it's worth it?
Eliminating clothes from my wardrobe as they get loose; size 6 bridesmaid dress; focus on racing; summer/beach wardrobe!
2. To feel even more capable, list 2-3 past successes (in any area of your life):
Masters degree, career, condo, Jess, weightloss success thus far
3. What would a loved one say about why you deserve to get what you want?
I work very hard at these goals. My health and happiness are important.
Identify any areas of doubt, lack of confidence or resistance. At your meetings, ask around to see how other members empower their beliefs in these areas.
Get An Email Alert Each Time SEPPIESUSAN Posts