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SEPPIESUSAN's Recent Blog Entries

Finally, photographic evidence!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Last time I wrote I said I'd been avoiding cameras. Well, all of a sudden I have a few recent photos of myself so I thought I'd share!

First, my brother took the photo below yesterday at Weetamoo Woods in RI where we went hiking and came across some very friendly horses. :)

I am 5'6" (or 5'5" and a half-ish) and was 174lbs yesterday, so that puts me deep into the overweight range. So, I was actually pleased that I don't look, in my opinion, THAT big. I mean obviously I see much, much room for improvement, but I don't think I look....fat. Just a little wider than before. I was worried I'd look much, much bigger actually, because I haven't weighed this much in a long time...not since 2004 or 2005...and back then I think I looked much bigger (there are a few photos of what I looked like back then on my gallery). OK, I was actually even heavier in some of those photos, but I think I looked MUCH bigger. And I was a little worried I'd be looking like that again. But I really do think that I have much less fat now than I did in 2004 (though still way too much), and a lot more muscle. Go strength training. However, if I want any of this muscle to actually show, or to look less wide, I really need to lose weight. At least, like, 20lbs.
Oh, and by the way, my legs look weird because I was wearing capri-length pants rolled way up on my legs. It was just me and my brother, so I wasn't trying to impress anyone, haha. :)

And here is a photo from Friday night...I like how I look, but my hubby looks drunk...because he WAS a little drunk...hehe. Please don't judge! He wasn't the one who wanted a photo taken in the first place, and he certainly wouldn't have shared it. :) I'm sharing it because my hair isn't crazy in it. :) This one really says nothing about my weight, but I thought I'd share anyway.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRAIRIEDAWNPAM 10/9/2012 11:08AM

    Don't you just love it when you can hang out with family -- or friends who are like family -- and just be yourself without trying to impress anyone? I think you look happy and healthy. Push on to your goals!


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MEADSBAY 8/27/2012 9:16PM

    You look great- hubby looks, well. pretty mellow.
I know what you mean about ST making us look so much better at the same weight.
I see that, too.
But I am FAT now.

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FITGIRL15 8/21/2012 6:13PM

    You and your hubby look happy!!!
Thanks for sharing your pics!

I think you look good too... I think tight fitting clothes make us all self concious!

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QUAIL75 8/17/2012 11:53AM

    I think you look great!

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SEEHOLZ 8/16/2012 6:55PM

    I love that pic of you - that's the one from FB or some super similar one!
You look gorgeous!!!

I get the same way- WIDER... and even though somewhere I do have some muscle, my fat covers it as well :-) and I think I weigh about 174 as well. And.. for once in my life, I have pics where I don't think I look huge in either. Just saying... I can totally relate to what you are saying.

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SPARKNMOM 8/16/2012 3:17PM

    You really look great :)

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MEGSMILEY 8/16/2012 11:39AM

    I am your same height and if I was at that weight, I would look much larger than you- and it would show in my face- which is doens't for you! You look gorgeous. It just goes to show that every person's body is built differently and that freakin' BMI index is not the be all and the end all. You're a beautiful woman.

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SKYFYRE 8/16/2012 10:00AM

    Beautiful photo of the two of you! Well, I think you carry 174 very well for someone who is 5'6" ! It must be mostly muscle, because you are not bulging! I was convinced by sweatonceaday to download app onto my phone and the tracking is really easy there and calculates a deficit for me, Have you tried it?

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CHANGINGSAM 8/16/2012 9:06AM

    I think you look great in both photos!

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MRS.NG.06 8/16/2012 8:22AM

    Yeah, I wouldn't have guessed 174 may feel 174 and the scale says 174 but you sure dont look it : ) I've lived in RI my whole life and I have no idea where Weetamoo Woods is ROFL..was it a good hike? xooxo

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BOOTS1221 8/16/2012 8:18AM

    You look great Susan! You look strong and healthy and that's what matters. I love that last pic of you, you look so happy and beautiful!! :)

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COWBOYMAMA 8/15/2012 6:30PM

    You look great.

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MBSHAZZER 8/15/2012 6:07PM

    Susan, OMG, you look GREAT! Seriously! I would NOT look at you AT ALL and think "there is an overweight person" - you look really good and honestly, I don't know you IRL, so there is no reason for me to just be nice.

That horse is super cute too! :D I'm a sucker for animals!

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CRYSBROWN1 8/15/2012 5:53PM

    Oh, you were in my neck of the woods! I know that we are all critical of ourselves but honestly you do not look "wide!" Definitely the weight situation is deceiving because I would not have guessed 174.

You and your hubby look cute together!

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BEFIT_WITHGUSTO 8/15/2012 5:23PM

    You definitely don't look your weight! Weight is such a strange thing. Super cute pic of you and your husband, I never would have known he was drunk! :)

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PAPER_WINGS18 8/15/2012 5:16PM

    Yep, you definitely do NOT look your weight, you luck woman you. :) You and your husband are absolutely adorable by the way. Love it. :)

You'll get back to where you want to be. No worries. I know you will!

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The End of Overeating

Thursday, August 09, 2012

I've been reading _The End of Overeating_, and so far I've been disappointed. The first several sections of the book were about the tricks that food processing companies use to get you to eat more - using a combination that is difficult to resist of sugar, fat, and salt, and sometimes chemicals that mimic all kinds of flavors. When I was reading these chapters all I wanted to do was eat more sugar, fat and salt! Counterproductive. Now I've finally reached the behavior modification section of the book in the back, and I'm not done yet, but it's been really nonspecific. It says that you need to develop rules for yourself that govern your eating, such as "I don't eat French fries," or "I don't eat dessert." I don't see how rules like that will help me stop overeating. Maybe the last bit of the book will be more helpful, but I'm not optomistic.

I've been finding it extremely difficult to motivate myself to count calories or restrict my eating at all. Even after my last blog with a few specific rules I didn't follow through. I've gone out and bought size 12 summer pants because my 10s don't fit. I'm hoping that maybe writing about it will get me moving again.

As always, I HAVE been pretty good about exercise lately, espeically my strength training. I haven't been to Body Pump in a long time...I've been out in the strength room with the big burly guys. I realized recently that I squat more than my own bodyweight...185lbs. I'm moving up with almost all my weights except for biceps and shoulders, which are my two weakest areas where I seem to always plateau at the lowest of weights. I'm not as consistent with cardio as I should be in order to lose weight, but I have been getting some cardio in.

In some ways I've been too complacent about my weight. I think it would probably take a photo (but I've been avoiding cameras whenever possible) or some horrible mirror angle to snap me into reality and make me realize I need to do something. I see the big numbers on the scale but don't think I look that bad. I also have been just a teensy bit obsessed (okay, tremendously obsessed) with TTC (which isn't working so far...), and kind of just lethargic lately. It's like I spend all my energy at the gym and don't save any for other stuff, like coming up with a better eating plan.

Today is my last day of work for a while, so I have time to come up with a plan to get back on track. It better be a good one, because I really need it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEEHOLZ 8/11/2012 9:58PM

    185 lbs! Man... If I did that... I would be one giant knot of extremely sore, overworked muscles! You are super strong Susan!

I've had similar feelings about some books before- in my never ending quest to find my "answers" for overeating and how to get over my eating issues. Then... at some point, I just gave up, because deep down, I didn't want someone else's answer I guess. I had to really distance myself from all that stuff to start feeling whole again
and to be open minded!

That pic of you ( even though it is only your face) that you posted on FB .... is just really, really prettty!

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SKYFYRE 8/11/2012 3:43PM

    Oh, boy. I hope you can find your motivation soon. I read a comment above about sharing what was eaten with those that will keep you accountable, and that would mean today I have eaten a large unknown quantity of M&M's (peanut butter of course) and my morning pills. That is totally embarrassing, maybe I could find a buddy to do that with!! Haha! But I think batch cooking and freezing stuff into meal portions is a better option. I have been trying to count calories but not motivated like you, but I think maybe after todays brekkie I will track for the rest of the day! Maybe that will start a streak?!

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MRS.NG.06 8/10/2012 10:54AM

    (but I've been avoiding cameras whenever possible)-me too...I completely understand that! HI!! : ) xoxoo glad to hear you are still exercising...being healthy really is key all around...take it one day at a time my dear *HUGS* xoxo

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KENSINGTONC 8/9/2012 8:24PM

    Thanks for the insightful review - I had that book on my list but it sounds like the intended audience isn't people like us who are well-educated about what it really takes to lose weight/get healthy. You are definitely one of the people on this site who knows EXACTLY what it takes for them and their body to lose/gain/etc. Thanks for the update - I always love reading your blogs. I hope the TTC starts going well - you are in my thoughts!! xo Liz

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SPARKNMOM 8/9/2012 7:11PM

    Hmmm....Overeating is a huge huge issue for me. I fight it daily. I began tracking again a couple months ago and that helped, but as I'm sure you know, became tedious. I then enlisted the help of the man I'm seeing and his sister and nightly, we now share what we've eaten for the day. It still gives me the "publc" accountability I need without having the tediousness of the tracker. I also am back to measuring portions and we batch cook to help with planning meals ahead.

I am a firm believer that you have to find what works for YOU so that you can stick with it. You are really doing well. I've been following your blog for a long time. And you are still here. Still working hard. Still searching for exactly what works for you. You are tenacious...just keep plugging away. You'll get there! :)

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IAMZBEE 8/9/2012 4:31PM

    You know... I started reading that book a while ago and have been reading it on and off for the past 6 months now. I think it's interesting and I love all of the case studies in the book, but it's not keeping me intrigued enough to finally finish it.

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MBSHAZZER 8/9/2012 1:36PM

    185# for squats!!! AMAZING!!! I can barely squat WITHOUT any weight!!! One little dip of my knees and I'm incapcitated for days!


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CHANGINGSAM 8/9/2012 1:02PM

    Maybe you should start out slowly with what you eat. Instead of limiting what you eat, choose to limit how much you eat. Try this for a month. Next month, try tackling another eating problem like limit yourself to fast food 3x a week. I don't know your eating habits, but you can adapt this to how you eat now.

I'm currently reading "Secrets of a Former Fat Girl" by Lisa Delaney, and I really enjoy it. She talks about how she was before and how she has lost the weight. She gives lots of tips about both exercise and eating.

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DAMIENDUCKS 8/9/2012 12:41PM

    I thought that book was sub-par as well (glad I'm not the only one!). Lately I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the conflicting diet advice floating around out there ( eat that, don't eat that, do eat that, but only this subset of that, etc.) I'm actually taking a break from "nutritional advice" at the moment and trying to figure out what I feel best eating (energy/health wise AND emotionally...if my food is going to be forever depressing, I'll never eat it no matter how "good" it is for me). So I'm no help, but you're not alone!

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PAPER_WINGS18 8/9/2012 12:23PM

    There's nothing worse then when we "lose" our motivation to watch portions and be more mindful of it. I wish that it was as simple as an on/off switch, but it's not. :( I think you have a LOT on your plate(like TTC!) and that because you are putting so much effort in there, the "other stuff"(like food intake) is easy to slide on a bit more. Especially with the stress you are probably feeling with that. Be patient though, I have no doubt it'll happen when it is meant to be. & hey, at least you are still keeping up with the exercise! Usually when I lose the motivation to track food or watch portions, exercise falls to the side too.

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Four Day Mini Challenge

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Hi everyone... just thought I'd share that since we are going to Cape Cod this weekend, I'm on a mini challenge to prepare. I started yesterday. I'm not tracking calories (probably should be, but I've been doing this long enough to know in general how much to eat to stay in range), but I do have some rules:

*smoothie for breakfast
*batch-cooked meal for lunch
*something small for dinner, things like fish or chicken and vegetables
*optional: 1 small drink, 1 small dessert
*snacks: 1 baggie almonds, 1 hardboiled egg, fruits, vegtables
*strength/stretching Tues/Thurs

I'm doing this Monday (yesterday) through Thursday the 26th. We're leaving Thursday night for the Cape. Basically I should always be doing these things, but for right now it has to be a bit stricter.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITFOODIE806 8/2/2012 8:01AM

    I need to do this exact same thing! Hope you have a great trip!

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SANDEROSE 7/26/2012 3:24PM

    Have a great time! I'm so jealous! I'm in much need of a good getaway!

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SPARKNMOM 7/25/2012 2:30PM

    Wow! What a great get-away! Enjoy :)

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MBSHAZZER 7/25/2012 10:03AM

    Enjoy!!! Isn't this the anniversary of your engagement??

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FITGIRL15 7/24/2012 6:13PM

    I was just eavesdropping on a couple competitors today... try to avoid carbs in the last 2 meals of the day for a fast weight drop! In 4 days, I wonder what the impact would be?!?!

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BEFIT_WITHGUSTO 7/24/2012 4:37PM

    Sounds like a great plan and have fun down the Cape!

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SEEHOLZ 7/24/2012 3:56PM

    Your yearly trip, right? Have a wonderful time!

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COWBOYMAMA 7/24/2012 2:31PM

    Sounds like a plan!

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PAPER_WINGS18 7/24/2012 2:10PM

    Your mini plan is SUPER doable; I know you will achieve it! And have an awesome vaca!! Totally jealous. :)

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DAMIENDUCKS 7/24/2012 1:54PM

    Love the idea of a mini-challenge! Sometimes it's nice to really buckle down and focus for a short time, and since it's short, there's no burnout!

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MKATE88 7/24/2012 1:54PM

    have fun on your trip! It's amazing what preplanning can do for you. also, you look so gorgeous in your profile pic!

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ITSGONNABME 7/24/2012 1:42PM

    sounds like a great plan!! Good luck with it and please share your results.

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CHANGINGSAM 7/24/2012 1:36PM

    I think you have a great plan up until you leave. I know you can do it! Let us know how it goes! Enjoy your vacation!

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NWLIFESRC 7/24/2012 1:36PM


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One Choice Instead of Another

Thursday, July 12, 2012

It's a little after 5 P.M. and I'm hungry. I was just about to eat a granola bar AND bring a brand new box of crackers to the computer with me...but then I thought about how I've made it all day so far with only healthy choices - smoothie, coffee, almond milk for breakfast. One serving of a batch-cooked meal for lunch (white chicken chili). One "just a handful" bag of almonds and cherries for snacks. Almost 90 minutes at the gym. And now it's practically dinner time. So I put the processed snacks away (they're my husband's anyway) and decided to heat up a bag of frozen mixed veggies and get dinner started early.

I haven't been blogging lately because I am so embarrassed to be weighing in the 170s. But I did see myself in a two-way mirror yesterday and saw that I am definitely not as chubby as I have been in the 170s previously - I have more muscle now, I just know it. Also, I was super proud of myself at the gym a few days ago when I saw two different men bench pressing the same weight as me. I'm chubby, but I'm getting strong.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACYZABELLE 7/23/2012 6:26AM

    When I get munchy I pop a bag of edamame in the micro-- protein filled snack!!

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    THIS IS A HUGE VICTORY. Honestly, it's when you start making those changes they create a snowball effect. You make that healthy choice ONCE without any other reason than your own rationale.. then you make another.. and another.. and they just keep happening. this is HUGE!!!!!!

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PAPER_WINGS18 7/13/2012 11:10PM

    Great job, susan!

Its all about the small changes we make!

And please do not be ashamed,girl. You are making great choices. Keep at it. :-)

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FITGIRL15 7/13/2012 6:49PM

    Don't be embarrased, Susan! We all go through ups and downs! You know what needs to change to be successful, and you are doing it!!! (more muscle is a great thing, and will not reflect in your scale weight!!!)

I am sure you look way better then you give yourself credit!!! No more negative self talk!

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ABMCCLADYM16 7/13/2012 9:57AM

    Every positive choice that you make is a jump in the right direction.
To help my cravings I usually eat a serving (about 100 calories = 3/4 cup) of chocolate cheerios. I eat them slow and it's really a treat.
Keep blogging!! :-) It feels so great to SEE the results when the scale isn't always our friend.

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KENSINGTONC 7/13/2012 8:34AM

    Thatta girl! Way to make an awesome choice. When faced with yummy addictive processed food AND hunger I rarely make the right impressed that you did!! Also, I hear you re: muscle and a different body despite the scale weighing the same. I think it's much better to have some muscle and weigh more than to be "skinny fat" with a low # on the scale. I just started intensive strength training and I would much rather see definition than skin and bones. Have a great weekend!! Liz

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COWBOYMAMA 7/13/2012 6:52AM

    I feel your pain. I eat well as long as I don't get bored, then I just look for anything and everything to eat, even if I know it won't taste good or is good for me!

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SEEHOLZ 7/12/2012 9:54PM

    Susan... I have been stuck in the 170s forever and... unlike you, most of the time in the upper range-lol. It's almost comical and even though I don't even have a scale anymore ( it broke and has not yet been replaced) I am pretty certain, I am still in the 170's.. hoping for the middle, but not all that sure.
Anyways.. keep focusing on how strong you are and how toned you look--- yeah.. you might not be perfect, but the thing is.. the number doesn't define you--- it's just a phase... and I know you--- once you put your mind to weight loss, you make it happen... you have proven that over and over and over again!

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SPARKNMOM 7/12/2012 8:30PM

    Sounds like you're making - AND SEEING your progress. I always say small successes like putting away the processed snacks build up your strength and keep you going :) Way to go!

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MBSHAZZER 7/12/2012 5:35PM

    Susan, the great thing is that every meal, we have choices! So you literally have at least 3x per day to make a better one! :D

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Over 3 weeks since my last blog...

Friday, June 29, 2012

I've just really had nothing I want to write about. My weight is embarrassing, so I don't want to talk about that. I've been on track with my exercise just about forever, and back to tracking my calorie intake for the past couple of weeks, and though I initially saw a drop of a few scary-high pounds at first, I've been stuck with my weight still way too high and not moving ever since. I know the number on the scale isn't everything and I have some muscle, but I don't fit into last summer's shorts.

School has been out now for a week and a half, and I've enjoyed having very little to do. I have one more week of freedom and then summer school. We refinanced our mortage to save about $80/month and had the closing the other day. The closing was in the city at 10 A.M. and then afterward we went for an early lunch and then I spent the rest of the day in the city while Jess went to work, and then met up with him for dinner. I spent several hours at Barnes & Noble..I read a few fitness magazines, and then I read a book about eating paleo. I was wondering whether to try it, but then I read online that it's one of the least safe and least recommended diets out there. I already try to avoid too many grains while I'm trying to lose weight, but I don't really want to give up dairy or beans, and don't seem to have any negative reaction to these foods. Anyway, after B&N I went for a long walk around the city and luckily despite the ominous clouds there was no rain storm, and then met Jess for a lovely dinner.

The next day (yesterday), I went BACK into the city (I live in the city, technically, but I mean the part of the city tourists would actually go to) to get my hair done. It's a once in a great while treat for me. Well actually it's not a treat at all....I hate trying to figure out where to park (and ending up paying $32 for valet garage parking), the huge expense of the hair treatment, the 3 hours it takes to do it, and the sting it brings to my eyes...but I LOVE having straight, shiny, soft hair. I wanted Yuko but my stylist siad my hair wasn't healthy enough. :( (I bought a deep leave-in conditioner to help fix that situation) and got a Pure Brazilian instead, which is like a Keratin but new. The best part is that there is NO waiting to get your hair wet or creased. With other procedures you have to wait 2 or 3 days which means, of course, no working out, no going outside if it rains, and no showering! Ew! This was a bonus. But, this procedure REALLY stung my eyes - the chemicals had the same amino acids that are in onions apparently...I was sitting there under the dryer crying away... and also it only lasts 2-3 months, and it probably won't be that straight after I wash it...she did say it eliminates frizz which is great for summer. But you know what else would be great for summer...NOT weighing 172...ugh. I'm rambling. This is why I don't blog anymore.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAMIENDUCKS 7/5/2012 10:55AM

    I had to break down and buy new shorts this summer...bummer, yes, but there are so many other things to focus on in the summer that I'm not going to let it get me down!

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MBSHAZZER 7/4/2012 12:08PM

    LOL!! I love your rambling! Keep blogging, please!

So, I am going to give you a hair suggestion - stop using shampoo! I haven't used regular shampoo since October and my hair has never looked better. You could buy something called "no poo", or use a tbsp. of baking soda in a cup of warm water. I condition using 2 tbsps of apple cider vinegar in a cup of water. The main ingredient in shampoo, sodium laureth sulfate, makes curly hair frizzy, so look for a brand that doesn't have it.

Enjoy your freedom till summer school starts!

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FITGIRL15 7/3/2012 1:01AM

    II buy new shorts every year ;)

Yay for no frizz hair! I wonder what they used though, crying under the dryer doesn't sound like fun! :( Silky hair DOES :)

Keep doing what you are doing... the magic will happen, Girl!

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LIL_EZZY 7/2/2012 6:27PM

    Im with you on the not wanting to talk about the weight thing. I think I have been so focused on it I have put on more. I am so dissapointed with myself as the wedding I have been planning for is only 8 weeks away. And I will not look smokin hot in my dress, Sounds as if you are enjoying your time off.
Don't worry too much about the weight just keep on pluggin on and it will all fall into place. I need to tell myself this too.

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SACREDECHOS 7/1/2012 8:10PM

    I havent been blogging on sparks a whole lot either because i started a weigthloss page thingie on FB so everyday im posting and it feels like a mini blog everyday. Its good i think to get your feelings out there even when your not doing good ...thats prolly when you should blog /talk about it even more...just keep swimming ...just keep swimming :o)

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HAPPYCUPCAKE 7/1/2012 6:14PM

    Ugh I'm with you on the weight thing right...I don't wanna talk about it but I KNOW that I have to personally face this and do some serious changing if I want things to get better. I've heard a lot about paleo and I think it's great how it encourages whole, unprocessed foods, but I agree...I can't cut out beans and dairy and I LOVE my fruit! Hope you are able to find what works best for you. I know you will. Plus everyone's body is different and responds differently to eating plans.

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SWEATONCEADAY 6/29/2012 9:18PM

    i put my scale away today. i can just squeeze into last years shorts. yeah for straight hair!

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MEADSBAY 6/29/2012 6:04PM

    I haven't really read up on the paleo diets but my first thought is-
um- didn't cave men only live about 35 years or some such?
Ok- now you need to get yourself fired up about something- anything!
And set some short and medium length goals, my friend!

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SANDEROSE 6/29/2012 4:00PM

    I'm right there with ya on not fitting into my summer shorts. In fact, I haven't even bothered unpacking my "summer clothes" because I know I won't fit into them (because I can't fit into any of my old non-stretchy clothes), so why bother?!

On a different note, I've always wanted to try hair straightening, but I'm always so hard on my hair and never have the money! Maybe someday.... it sounds wonderful!

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SEEHOLZ 6/29/2012 3:44PM

    Sigh.. I can relate on the weight front, even though I think the tide is turning for me- FINALLY! It would help if I had a scale that worked- mine broke right before vacation, but it was "stuck" anyways... so no "loss"-LOL!
I've had that scale since 2002 I realized.

I miss your blogs- I'm not one for "chattening" so blogs help me stay connected.

Totally random and maybe weird, but I totally thought about you the other day and wondered if it was time for your hair procedure- your annual summer event-LOL!
Like I said, I'm weird.

And I know you-- you'll figure this weight stuff out!

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PAPER_WINGS18 6/29/2012 11:14AM

    ^^agree with SRBROWN2! SOmetimes we just get in ruts where we eat and do the same things over and over again and our bodies just need to mix it up! I knwo you eat pretty healthy so maybe just try varying those healthy foods up?

It will come off. SOmetimes our bodies just do crazy things, as sucky as it is. Stay consistent and you will see changes!

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CHANGINGSAM 6/29/2012 11:04AM

    The weight will come off. Have you tried varying up what you eat? Also, try new workouts. I know it's hard, but you can do this. Don't give up.


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