Monday, February 20, 2012
If I'd kept all the rules about what I wasn't allowed to do, I would broken all of them by now, I think. Last night we went to Legal Seafoods and I had baked scrod, and then due to peer pressure we went to a bar where I had a Coors Light. According to my guesstimates on my tracker I barely squeaked in under 2,400 calories and was up 0.2 pounds today.
But, we don't go to restaurants or bars nearly as often these days as we used to (since we're trying harder to spend less now), so I'm not worried that I'm in some sort of bad pattern.
Yesterday as I was in the gym studio setting up for Body Pump I discovered that there wasn't going to be any Body Pump class! They couldn't find a BP certified sub so instead there was going to be a muscle conditioning class. So I tried it, and I'm pleasantly surprised to say that I had wobbly legs a bit afterwards and a little delayed onset muscle soreness today, which I don't normally get, which to me says that I worked myself out in new ways, and that is good! My guess is that the move that really got my legs was when we did calf heel lifts from a plie position (not sure I'm describing it adequately, but as the instructor said, it hurts but it's effective!). We also did some stuff that works muscles I don't normally work, like forearms /rotator something-or-others.
That's all for now - have a great day, hope you all have the day off!!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
I just decided this morning that my new plan will stay in effect until March 31, 2012. That is my hubby's 30th birthday party (yes, he is four years younger than I am!) and we're having a party that day at our house, when the house will be in an almost-semi-finished state (we bought it in August and have been working HARD on it ever since), and having all our local friends and family over to see it. ALSO, not that I'm going around telling people this in real life, but I'll tell my Spark friends - my hubby has promised me that we can start TTC once he turns 30! Sooo.... March 31, 2012 is a big deal!! What a perfect end date to my plan/diet/challenge/hahaha who cares what I call it.
That means my plan is exactly six weeks long. I started the plan yesterday weighing - yuck - 170.0. For my height, healthy BMI starts at 154, and I also think that I look pretty good at that weight. Therefore, I want to lose 16 pounds in 6 weeks, which is a lot, but I'm one day in right now and have already lost 1.2 (168.8 this morning). Oh, and a disclaimer to all those who have suggested lately that I stop paying attention to the scale - that would go completely against my nature. I would feel lost without my scale. I'm not one of those people who reacts badly when I see a temporary gain on the scale - I prefer to have the info so I can see how different things affect my weight in different ways. So... I may appear scale-obsessed over these next six weeks, and I'm sure people will continue to comment on my blogs that I stop weighing myself so often, but I am just going to agree to disagree with them. :)
So. Yesterday I did some brainstorming in a Word file of what my plan would entail. I got fairly detailed about things like "No: desserts, alcohol, restaurants, snacks that aren't XYZ," etc. I also wrote "Calorie limit: 2,400 per day," "Before/after pictures," and "Reward???" I then proceeded to show this list to my husband to ask him for his opinion, and his first reaction was, "This isn't sustainable." I said, "It's not supposed to be sustainable - it's a temporary plan." He then went on to make me feel bad about almoste every item on the list. He thought the 2,400 calorie limit was too high and I should do 2,000. He said, "What's up with the reward?" in what I took to be a possibly sarcastic tone (though I was being rather oversensitive). He also said, "Why would you want before/after pictures? Would that HELP?" and I said, "I guess not," and walked away. I was embarrassed that I'd even shown the list to him. He is in amazing shape even though he goes to the gym only twice a week (and the less he goes to the gym, the less he weighs), and he never thinks about what he eats because he's one of those people who can get distracted and forget about eating. He can't relate to feeling like I can't function without a certain level of fuel in my body (and that level, for me, seems to be at the other end of the spectrum than for him - ridiculously high! I was a grump last night because I was hungry after having eaten "only" 2,200 calories!?!). In the end I decided that my ONLY rule on the list would be to limit myself to no more than 2,400 calories per day.
Anyway, later on in the day he sort of apologized, then yelled at me again (this time about how I needed to just "stop bingeing" and when I told him I hadn't been bingeing he was like "fine, overeating," and yelling at me that I couldn't deny that I overeat), then he apologized AGAIN. So we're friends again, but what a rough way to start. If he'd been all enthusiastic and wanted to get out the camera for before pictures and saying how he couldn't wait to compare them to the afters and how he'd support me in my choices, well, I don't know. I guess I can do this even without a bubbly cheerleader. I know he wants me to do this, and last night he even prepared me a dinner that helped me stay within my calorie limit, but he doesn't and won't ever understand how this is difficult for me, because it has never and will never be difficult for him.
Anyway. I don't want to end this post on a down note. Despite all that unpleasantness yesterday I am excited about this plan, and it's exciting that just one day in and I'm already in a lower "weight decade" than I was when I started (160s vs. 170s). Before today I hadn't even seen the 160s since 2/11.
Here are some reasons I'm doing this:
*I need to fit back into my pants
*TTC is apparently easier/faster when you're at a normal BMI
*I really, really want to be able to run without knee pain
*Seeing everyone at J's bday party and having lots of photos taken
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Today, for the first time in a long time, I tracked all my calories. And as of right now I'm well within my range. Of course it's not even 5:30 P.M. yet and we're going to the gym tonight. However, if I'm hungry later tonight I'll have something light, and I'll track it.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Picture a moderately overweight woman who would love to drop just a few pounds through a moderate, balanced, lifestyle approach. She's tried tracking her calories a bunch of times and basically knows now how many calories are in the things she eats, so this time she's trying to make decisions based on her body's signals and her intuition.
What does she do? She tries to balance mostly healthy eating choices with small treats in moderation. She prepares almost all of her meals herself using mostly only ingredients that would make any Sparker proud (fruits, vegetables, fish, spices, chicken, beans, plain Greek yogurt, flax, etc.). She portions her meals out in advance to remove the temptation of eating too large a portion, or more than one portion. She eats mostly fruit for snacks, although if the occasional chocolate should come her way she'll indulge in a small treat. She drinks coffee in the morning, and a glass of wine with dinner, but mostly just sticks to water or decaf green tea. She's never uncomfortably hungry, and she's never uncomfortably stuffed. Her energy level is great.
Does she exercise? Does she ever! She works out on average about six days per week, one hour per session. She strength trains her whole body three times per week with the heaviest weights she can manage with good form, and although some forms of cardio have been bothering her joints lately, she pushes hard with any kind of cardio that DOESN'T hurt (the stair climber tends to be a good choice).
In addition, she sleeps well, weighs herself each morning (and tracks it daily on SparkPeople), and reads blogs/articles/books to stay informed and motivated.
Someone with habits like this is probably experiencing gradual, healthy weight loss, right?
NO! This person is me (obviously), and I have been living like this for the past several months, and I am slowly but surely GAINING weight.
If I'm going to see my weight go down, this isn't the way to do it. I just can't do it without tracking my calories. It seems like it should be possible, but I need to wrap my head around the fact that, for me, it just is not.
I've been toying with the idea of a temporary diet. Yeah, I said it. DIET. It's such a dirty word, and I don't know why. I could call it a "challenge" and be politically correct, but really it's a diet. It would be something like a month-long period with tracking and a few self-imposed guidelines, and I know I'd drop some poundage. I don't know what I'd do after the set period ends (other than reward myself), but at least it'd be a little momentum in the right direction.
My face looked fat in the mirror today. :(
Monday, February 06, 2012
SparkPeople is the best. You guys on this site are so sweet and supportive, and it shocks me how many of you guys actually "get" me. :) Thank you so much for the comments on my downer of a post.
I've been thinking about it, though, and I really think I have to give myself credit. I think I DON'T have an all-or-nothing attitude anymore. I may not do the one thing that will actually cause me to lose weight (restrict calorie intake), but I work HARD in a lot of other aspects! I still prepare myself healthy smoothies for breakfast every morning and batch-cook and calorie-count healthy recipes on the weekends, and I still ATTEMPT to have nothing for snacks other than 1 baggie of almonds, fruit, and veggies all day (some days are much more successful in that area than others). I KNOW I sound like a total idiot when I say that I work hard in every area except for the one that will make a difference in my weight, but that's because I really do feel so much better when I eat until satiated instead of restricting...yes that's an excuse, but that's the area where I feel most confused and conflicted.
What I'm really most proud of is my exercise. I think I'm in pretty decent shape for an overweight person. Yes, Patty, I can and do use the elliptical, but I just love how it feels to run outside, especially since we've had some freak warm February days around here, and I would be miserable if I couldn't do that. I think I'll be fine with running as long as I don't do it TOO often, and if I manage to figure out how to drop a few pounds that'll make running a lot better. Oh, and I should probably be calling it "jogging" instead of "running," because, surprise surprise, I'm slow. But I don't care. I read a quote recently that said that even the slowest jogger still laps everyone who's sitting on the couch, and I just loved that. :)
Yesterday I was taking a Body Pump class with an instructor who's kind of known for being unlikeable. He's constantly telling people that they're doing a move wrong or not using enough weight, and that rubs a lot of people the wrong way, but I know he's just trying to help. Anyway, yesterday he was going on and on about how nobody was using enough weight and even said, "Your weights out there are looking pretty wimpy today!" during the lunge track. But then he pointed directly at me, with my slightly heavier weight selection, and said, "SHE'S working hard." It made me smile big even though I know he's sort of a jerk. Haha. But I also immediately thought, I have to share this story with my Spark friends. :)
Soooo...nobody worry, I'm definitely NOT giving up. I just still have to figure out whether my goal is to be the healthiest overweight person I can be, or whether I'm going to try yet again to lose weight and figure out some way to keep it off for a change.
Get An Email Alert Each Time SEPPIESUSAN Posts