Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I didn't binge. :) In fact I'm at under 1,600 calories so far today (at 8:20 P.M.) which is quite low for me. I may have a bit more to eat tonight but I'm not really that hungry today after last night's big seder. This afternoon I watched Fat Head on zulu.com which really made me think about whether I should eat less brown rice and whole wheat pasta and more butter, meat, and coconut oil!? It even made me question whether fat-free dairy is the best idea. I don't know....there seems to be contradicting opinions about everything health-related. Either way, watching a health-related comedy-documentary was just what my spirits needed. After dinner I went for two laps (34 minutes) around Jamaica Pond and when I got home my mom had emailed pictures from last night. So here's what I look like at 154 pounds...and the dress...I wouldn't have picked it out myself, but my mom gave it to me and I thought it was kind of fun...it was just my own family afterall.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Ughhh...every few months it happens, no matter what I do to prevent it, it seems: The binge monster reappears. Now get me straight - I am NOT saying I binged. I'm saying that the URGE to binge has reappeared. Before this, I hadn't wanted to binge at all since the last time I got myself back on track in January 2011. I've allowed myself PLENTY of treats - some weren't really even in moderation - but I was always in the healthy mindset. I always tracked as best I could, and countered high-calorie days with exercise, and with days where I ate less, and with simply a "this is life, not a strict diet" mindset.
But then a series of events led me to this not-so-happy place. First, I haven't been feeling great. Last night was the second night in less than a week that I woke up in the middle of the night with heartburn - both times were after eating more than I should. On top of that I have PMS, and I am in a bit of a weight plateau (I said in my last blog that I don't mind that my weight's not changing, but I gotta admit that a new lower number would really rev up my spark). Also the stress of realizing that buying a house and having children are basically just not affordable for my husband and me right now really got to me, and I have spent a few days recently being really crabby toward him, which I hate because he is wonderful and doesn't deserve that.
Anyway, this week is my school vacation and today I have hours and hours of free time, which I've been spending at home, catching up on blogs and emails and stuff. And I know that there are cookies, Lindt chocolates, and honey roasted peanuts in the kitchen. So I started to get that "binge monster" feeling...like....I could just eat with abandon, not tracking, not worrying about what will happen with the scale or even with how I feel physically, using food for entertainment and short-term satisfaction with no thought about long-term consequences. This is NOT how I want to feel! WTF!
Thank goodness when I actually went to investigate those cookies (which my mother gave my husband as a birthday present - grr, shouldn't be in the house) they looked kind of stale and unappealing. If they had been at all appealing I probably WOULD have binged.
The thing that bothers me about this the most is that I have been trying SO HARD to get OUT of this mindset. I allow myself to eat plenty of treats, to lose weight slowly and even be okay with not losing at all, and I don't even have a prescribed calorie range anymore - I just eat fruits or veggies when I want extra snacks. So why am I STILL getting the "binge monster" feelings?
I am going to snap out of this without succumbing. I promise.
Thursday, April 07, 2011
As some of you know, it took me a LONG time to sell my condo out in the 'burbs...over 17 months. When I was being honest with myself I really didn't mind that much that it wasn't selling though, because I liked living there. I've always been a suburban girl, even though I love the city. My husband's condo, which is where I live now, is in Dorchester and there were lots of reasons I didn't think I'd like living here:
1. The neighborhood isn't safe
2. It's small
3. No washer/dryer in unit
4. Longer commute
Well, I'm happy to say I was wrong - I love living here, for lots of reasons:
1. I finally have the same address as my husband = lots of quality time together
2. We can save $1,500-$2,000 per month now!!
3. So close to some of the BEST EVER PLACES TO RUN!!
The past two days I've run a route similar to this: www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/3121118
If you ever have a chance to run in Boston, I highly recommend running in this area. This specific map is of today's run, which started and ended at the Arnold Arboretum. From there I went to Jamaica Pond, then down paths all the way to Huntington Ave, then back up the other side of the little river that runs there, across the other side of the pond, and back to the Arboretum. The route is filled with trees, well-maintained paths along waterways and parks, and tons of people out jogging, biking, or walking with their dogs or babies. I love it!! No wonder Boston is known for having a relatively fit population - it's so fun to run here!
As for the downsides to living here:
1. It's not safe BUT it's getting better. Two homes on my street that used to house shady characters are now vacant, and being remodeled. A neighbor contacted us about a neighborhood initiative to improve the neighborhood. And despite everything on the news about Dorchester, my husband and I personally have never encountered anything unsafe ourselves. Everyone has either been friendly or just neutral. And I'm incredibly close to some really nice areas that almost cancel out how bad the immediate neighborhood is.
2. It's small BUT we have enough room. We sold/donated a lot of my furniture so we wouldn't have to squeeze it all in here, and I'm surprised at how uncramped it ended up feeling once we were all settled.
3. There's no washer/dryer in unit BUT we've been using a laundry service - drop off dirty laundry, pick it up the next morning all clean and neatly folded ;) Luxury!
4. Longer commute BUT it's not bad...the morning drive gives me some "me time" to drink my coffee and listen to the radio, and as I've mentioned in other blogs my drive to the gym is much quicker than I'd thought - just a little over 20 minutes from work to the gym, and then another 20ish from the gym to home. Plus with places around here that are so great to run, I actually avoid going to the gym when I can! (I go when the weather is bad or when I need to do my strength training)
So....we're having trouble getting preapproved for a mortgage to buy a house. But I don't mind, because I actually love being a Bostonian and living right here, in Dorchester. I never thought I'd say that, but I am!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
It's become a cliche: "Diets don't work. I'm not on a diet - I'm living a healthy lifestyle."
My (overly literal) reaction has always been, "But everyone has a diet - a diet is what you eat. Of course you can lose weight and get healthier by changing your diet."
And yet I feel myself coming to the same conclusions as the people who like to talk about how "diets don't work." I believe that PRESCRIBED diets might not work, because there needs to be room for adjustment. Whether or not an individual needs a prescribed diet as a jumping off point, eventually the plan needs to be individualizedfor, and by, that individual. And the fine-tuning is an on-going process. When something doesn't seem to be working, figure something else out.
Several months ago I complained in a blog post that I was hungry, but I'd planned out my menu in advance and I'd already eaten what I'd planned to eat. One of the comments on that blog was, "If you're hungry, eat something!" At the time I thought yeah yeah, eating without a plan is what got me overweight in the first place. But eventually I changed my plan. Now the plan is that when I'm hungry, I eat something. When I'm not hungry, I don't. I listen to my body and I don't sacrifice my own comfort for weight loss, because a plan that causes me to be uncomfortable can never be sustained long-term. Plus it's not necessary to be uncomfortable, at least not much (there are occasions where I deliberately put off eating, like if I'm hungry but about to go out to a restaurant, but then the discomfort is only temporary). However, as I've been mentioning a lot lately, when I'm hungry and eat something, it's not a free-for-all pig-out. Other than my three meals and one mini bag of almonds per day, when I'm hungry I mostly eat fruits and vegetables. By doing that, I can eat when I'm hungry, get full, but still not overload on calories. And so far this is working for me. I've lost 14 pounds in 10 weeks! :) And people are starting to comment - my husband says I'm looking thin again, a coworker asked what I'm doing that's working so well (of course I said SparkPeople!!!), and my principal said I've been looking younger these days. I am so excited for spring and summer now that I'm happy with my weight. And yes, I really am happy with my weight. I weighed 153.8 this morning. This probably wouldn't be most people's ideal weight for a 5'6" woman, but I like how it looks on me and I like how I feel at this weight. My BMI just squeaks into the healthy range and I'd honestly be happy if I maintained this weight long-term.
In other news, I've had this awful cold/cough for the past week or so that I'm really looking forward to getting rid of so that I can feel 100% again. And even though I just moved into my hub's condo, we've already started looking at houses. We did a mortgage pre-preapproval last night, and I'll let you guys know if we start making offers!!
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