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One Week Back on Track - Lost 3.8lbs

Saturday, June 26, 2010

I would have loved to have lost more than 3.8lbs the first week, oh well. I want this to be my LAST first week. I am SO sick of the yo-yo.

The other day we went out to dinner and I had unsweetened iced tea with lemon to drink, a cup of minestrone soup, and then a salad with mixed greens, shaved parmesan cheese, and lemon juice and olive oil as dressing.. and I had them put grilled salmon on top. No bread. I was stuffed!

I made a couple of "Chef Meg's" recipes from sparkrecipes yesterday.

I'm thinking of going back to BodyPump classes. I haven't gone in a couple years or so. I do strength training on my own, but I think BodyPump would make me work harder. Plus, if I did that and jogged/biked outside, I'd hardly have to go to the gym except for classes.

At my current overweight state, I can no longer jog for extended periods of time. I attribute this to being heavier rather than having lost my cardio ability, because even while I was eating my way back to overweight I was still exercising...and I can still do an hour on the elliptical. But I can't jog for more than about 20 minutes or so without having to stop and walk. I've gone for several outside jogs lately and they always end up being walks after 20 minutes, give or take. I'm looking forward to running becoming easier and easier as I get lighter.

If you know about my yo-yo weight loss history you probably don't believe me, but I really do want to end this pattern. I am definitely thinking a lot about how to make the weight loss permanent this time. But I feel like a hypocrite because I say that EVERY time and then I keep gaining it back.

Right now I'm super motivated because it's the beginning of summer. In mid-August we're going for our annual trip to Cape Cod, and I'm looking forward to being down several pounds by then. Last summer (August 1, 2009) Jess proposed to me on the dunes in Wellfleet (see my background picture on my page) and I want to go back to that spot this summer with him and be happy about how I look. I will do it!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITGIRL15 6/29/2010 8:35AM

    Wow, that's quite a ridiculous weight loss for your first week, Susan! You must be working hard at getting the weight to come off! Bravo, what you are doing is working like a charm, but I guess you've been here before!

I agree with Patty, if you back off a little and take your weight loss slower (lika a pound a week) it will more likely be a long term thing and not a crash diet type of loss (your body responds MUCH better to a gradual loss then BAM, losing a lot all at once!) For me, my weight loss was a pound a week, and I've been maintaining it for over 2 years! I can hardly believe it myself but it IS possible!!! You WILL get out of your Yo-Yo rut... but you have to be willing to change the way you approach weight loss and body weight management in order for the loss to stick around!

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FRIZGIRL 6/28/2010 8:38AM

    Great job Susan! Slow changes are always better to avoid yo-yoing. You can do it!

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TRACYZABELLE 6/28/2010 4:48AM

    You are off to a great start!!

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VIDABELA 6/28/2010 4:44AM

    You can so do it!! We have an unlimited amount of second chances with this weight loss thing, but I believe this will be your last time!! :D

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SEEHOLZ 6/27/2010 1:04PM

    I seem to have only gained weight during the last 2 yrs, but I am happy that I didn't yo-yo.. I don't think I can ever do that again! I'm just saying that I give you so much credit for picking yourself up over and over, because you work sooo hard at it! I wonder if you just didn't work soooo hard, but backed off a little and lost weight slower, so you could feel better for long term. I think the Susan that I was in the middle seems the happiest to me... just so you know, I totally do believe that its not only in you, but that you'll definitely get there long-term!

Enjoy your summer!!!

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MARATHONER340 6/27/2010 10:01AM

    it sounds like you're headed in the right direction! And 3.8lbs down the first week - that sounds AWESOME to me! Hopefully the summer will keep you motivated. We are all rooting for you!

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    You've got a good goal to work towards. You can do it.

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MRS.NG.06 6/26/2010 9:49PM

    whenever there seems to be a "goal" or a "deadline", motivation seems to follow....go to that body pump class, sign up for a 5K, bring a deadline to you and work from there, you alone can break your yo yo pattern xoxox *HUGS*

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SKYFYRE 6/26/2010 5:58PM

    I love group exercise, and I definately think it is worth making the time for! Get to those classes girlie!! Amen, to bing OVER the Yo-Yo! I am with ya! I think that Dana and I share a need to track to keep in an appropriate zone. If I don't I go crazy! Here's to a great summer vacation!

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MBSHAZZER 6/26/2010 3:30PM

    Susan, nearly 4 pounds in one week! That's awesome! Keep up the great work! I just had a similar salad for lunch! :D

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    3.8 pounds is totally AWESOME!! Im glad you are back on track. Believe me your not the only one thats yoyoing! Ive restarted like 15 times lol. Keep up the fantastic work!

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RUN_LIFT_EAT 6/26/2010 1:17PM

    Keeping weight off is hard, truly, but in my opinion losing weight is harder! I wish you much luck, Susan!

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SAMANTHAJEAN86 6/26/2010 12:36PM

    Congrats on a successful 1st week back at it, those are good results, keep it up, you're doing great!!

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JENONTHEROX 6/26/2010 12:36PM

    I know you're just venting, but I wish I had some solid things to say about yo-yo weight loss/gain patterns. I do though really think that, as tacky as this sounds, it's a matter of you finding something (food, exercise...) that you can live with for the rest of your life & have some kind of mental click about it. Even though I've been plateau'ed for what feels like an eternity ("so sick" of that too), I think that was my biggest lesson. I also think of the mental burden being so overweight meant to me. Super taxing on every aspect of my life... working out & eating healthy just seems easier than that.
I know you will do it, you know exactly how.

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BRUIN2 6/26/2010 12:33PM

    Body pump sounds like a great idea - you LOVED those classes before, and they definitely gave you the results you were looking for! ROCK IT!

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On Track!

Monday, June 21, 2010

It really did hit me when I looked in that dressing room mirror on Friday night. I have been on track ever since. I've been tracking my calories since Saturday and am finally back in the mindset where I realize that this is important. I haven't been able to weigh myself because my husband took the battery out of the scale to use in the remote control! But I will be able to weigh myself tomorrow morning - hopefully that will be a happy experience.
My mother-in-law had our digital wedding photos printed and my husband and I were looking at them last night. When we were looking at one of my favorites, during our first dance when he was dipping me, he said, "Who's that skinny girl? I miss her."
I really need to do this.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEEHOLZ 6/26/2010 11:48AM

    It's good to have you back!

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FITGIRL15 6/25/2010 4:13PM

    Your husband said that to you????
emoticon I would have slapped him! LOL

Girl, you are doing the best you can! I am realyl happy to hear that you are putting more effort into it lately! I know that you have the discipline to make anything you want to happen a reality!!!

Stay positive, Susan! You can do anything you put your mind to! Also... remind your husband that his negative comments don't help your mental state!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WILKESGRL 6/22/2010 12:05PM

    You have all of us rooting for you and here to give you motivation. Post some pictures up that you like from your wedding, that will help with motivation!! I also agree that you should remind your husband that he should be in this with you and help you. My husband is doing it with me, he doesnt really have weight to lose but I told him it will help him to be healthier. It seems to be working and he really motivates me to keep going with nice comments!!

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RUN_LIFT_EAT 6/22/2010 9:27AM

    Remind him of that when he opens a bottle of wine or does something else that makes it difficult for you to stay on track.

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    Come on! You can do it!
Sometimes, as tough as those moments are, they are the best thing for you.
They make those moments in te dressing room when you realise youve lost a few pounds even more worth it.
Try remembering how you felt around that time when you were slimmer, not just how you looked, im sure that will give you na extra push!

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TRACYZABELLE 6/22/2010 2:07AM


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PRAIRIEDAWNPAM 6/21/2010 11:23PM

    What's your next goal? Does it motivate you?

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SKYFYRE 6/21/2010 6:25PM

    So here I am reading you blog, thinking oh, how cute! Susan has used "Husband" more than once in this one, she's so in love,... and then I ready that last little bit, and all I could think was that I would stab him, Hahahahaha! Ok, so maybe I wouldn't inflict penetrating trauma, but seriously, he said that?! I guess if it motivates you, Go Girl! And yes I realize this is more about motivating than me attacking your hubster, sorry!

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    Good to hear! You can keep it, I know it. Just take it one choice, one workout, one day at a time.

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SWEATONCEADAY 6/21/2010 5:25PM

    oh my god. if dh said that to me i would kill him!!!! glad you are on track though. eating good = feeling good!

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JENONTHEROX 6/21/2010 1:41PM

    remember how much easier it gets once healthy eating & some in moderation treats & working out feels after a few days/week. You'll be back in the swing of things before you know it... keep it up.

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STEFANIE822 6/21/2010 12:11PM

    Keep ut up Susan!!! You can do this, you have done it before!!

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FRIZGIRL 6/21/2010 10:05AM

    Stick with it!!! You can do it and we're all behind you!

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MBSHAZZER 6/21/2010 9:57AM

    Did you hit Jess over the head for that comment?! Sheesh!

Glad to hear that you are feeling on track! Sounds like you found your motivation and are ready to make some changes!

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BOOTS1221 6/21/2010 9:52AM

    I'm glad to hear you're back on track! Sometimes it does take a "dressing room" type moment for things to re-click. Keep it up!

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Three-Way Mirror

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Wow, I haven't blogged in a MONTH. And last time I wrote my title was "In Need of Motivation." Funny, because I may have finally found the motivation I needed, in a negative way. Yesterday I was trying on dresses at H&M and there were three-way mirrors in each individual dressing room, so I had the privilege of seeing myself in my underwear from all angles. I look almost as bad as I did in my "before" pictures. It's time to start making regular eating sacrifices again.

PS - I ended up buying two dresses, both on sale, and a pair of shoes. One dress was a 12, the other was a 14. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILKESGRL 6/22/2010 11:50AM

    Its great that you have found your motivation, trying on clothes for an event or soemthing along those lines always helps me find a little motivation.
I understand that you feel the need to make drastic changes as many of us do when we start to get back on track. Remember though, do not deprive yourself of something you really enjoy. The more you deprive the more you crave. Find healthy alternatives or learn to have it in moderation. I think this was the hardest thing for me to learn. Now that I have the idea in my head that its not off limits but I cannot have it all the time, otherwise I tend to crave it. Plus, I have found healthy delicious alternatives that I really love. Good luck in your new plan and remember that its a lifestyle, not a diet and definately not a curse!! emoticon

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RUN_LIFT_EAT 6/22/2010 9:25AM

    I agree with Sharon's comment about it not being as bad as you think. The lighting is also terrible in those places and H&M runs SMALL!

However, all of that being said, you wanted motivation and if that worked then great!

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SKYFYRE 6/21/2010 5:08AM

    Oh, God.
Is it sick that I have an overwhelming desire to go see myself in a 3 way mirror to motivate myself?
Thanks for the blog, somehow I got unsubscribed! I am on the loosing plan again, going slow and steady this time, exercising to burn about 2000/ week and eat about 1550-1650 cals per day. It's been a challenge but of course it is working, and I am feeling better about myself. I hope that we can both meet a happy medium!

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BLUEBOOEYES 6/20/2010 10:52PM

    I recently had my own three-way mirror revelation while trying on wedding dresses. Here's to improving our bodies from all three angles! Let's do this!!

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    I had the same frantic moment recently, in a Macy's dressing room while trying on dresses for an upcoming wedding. I learned my butt has many dimensions to it...

I hate to say it, but maybe that's what you needed. I mean, you knew you needed motivation, and maybe that was all you needed to give you that push. Although I'm sure it wasn't THAT bad!

What's your game plan to get back to where you were??

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LFLFLPLP 6/20/2010 8:25AM

    Those will do it for you for sure!! I'm always more motivated after a shopping trip. The real problem is working up the motivation to shop when I know what is awaiting me in the dressing rooms!!

Remember this moment every time you start to stray. You can do this! Slow and steady like turfgirl suggest is really the way to go. emoticon

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JENONTHEROX 6/19/2010 6:19PM

    a 3 way mirror is a hard but necessary pill to swallow. I have noticed them in H&M before & also Lululemon. Really highlights areas for action, doesn't it. I'm glad to read you are BACK on board & that you are back. I just keep remembering how you felt on your wedding day & really was rooting for you to sustain it.... & I am sure you will.

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SWEATONCEADAY 6/19/2010 3:50PM

    3 way mirrors are the devil! i am glad though that it has given the motivation on what you need to do to make lasting changes. i find you tend to go crazy diet or nothing. one extreme to the other. have you thought about trying to lose the weight slower and more stably? just a suggestion. i don't want you to yoyo again.

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MBSHAZZER 6/19/2010 11:46AM

    Nothing like a 3-way mirror to get motivated! I'm sure it's not as bad as you think - we are all harder on ourselves than on others.

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In Need of Motivation

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I am so sorry to have been so distant lately - work has been ridiculous so please don't take it personally if I have ignored you. You guys are the best and as always I feel accountable because you're all still writing blogs and checking in on me even though I haven't been a very good Sparker lately. I've been going to the gym although a lot of my workouts have been a bit half-hearted, but my eating has just been out of control. After the initial shock of the problem at work that I described in my last post, my feelings leveled off to a more normal stress level and my appetite came back full-force. I have been guilty of huge amounts of emotional eating lately. As I noted in my blog title, I'm in need of motivation, so I'm heading off to the bookstore to hope to find an inspiring new read or two. I really need to get my spark back right away...summer isn't going to wait for me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILKESGRL 6/22/2010 11:26AM

    I am very back and forth with using spark. I really enjoy coming on here and reading about comments and the inspiration that everyone has to offer.I also like to share what I learn in my journey to having a healthy lifestyle in hopes that maybe I can help someone else too!!
Stick with it and make sure you make time for yourself to be inspired!!

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ROGUE_1 5/24/2010 5:52PM

    Hope you found something inspiring and which will motivate you! I echo what Kim wrote - Spark shouldn't feel like an obligation, but rather something you enjoy and do for fun. We'll be here for you no matter what or when you log on, so never fear my dear!!! Hang in there, you'll find your way, I know you will. You just need that little kick start. For me it was seeing a photo of someone I couldn't stand, and she looked pretty good in her bikini. Before seing that photo, I was eating whatever, working out only occassionally, and not tracking anything. But seeing that photo seriously jump started things and all of a sudden, it was GO-Time.

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RUN_LIFT_EAT 5/23/2010 10:53AM

    I remember you writing about the power of diet books to motivate you. Hopefully you found something inspirational.

We are all here for you Susan! Everyone understands life getting busy. Spark shouldn't be an obligation, but something you enjoy doing when you have the time. It also shouldn't be a source of guilt, so you have had some half-hearted workouts, you are still doing WAY more than the overwhelming majority of the population! I think you deserve credit for that!

Maybe you should ease up on yourself a bit. If you aren't feeling motivated right now, then just work on saying "to heck with it" I am comfortable WHERE I AM! Because there is nothing more frustrating than thinking you want to do something, but not wanting it badly enough to actually do it, talk about a counter-productive, vicious cycle!



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SEPPIESUSAN 5/21/2010 8:39AM

    The funny thing is, I'm STILL batch-cooking and even counting the calories for those meals as I make them...but then I don't track them as I eat them! Grr! My husband says that all my "planning" and writing about the problem is just procrastination - I already know what to do and need to just DO it. I agree with him, but am confused about why it sounds so simple but it's so hard to put into action.

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FITGIRL15 5/21/2010 12:13AM

    I have had to slow down a lot lately too... mine has been health related (Go Figure!) so I really had no choice! Perhaps if you stop doing so much, you'll have more time and energy to make healthy batch cooked meals (like you have in the past... you were the batch cooking PRO, if I can remember correctly!)

I too find that reading helps motivate me into a positive state of mind! I hope you find the right book that you need right now! Good Luck!

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SPARKNMOM 5/20/2010 10:20PM

    I seem to go through phases similar to that as well. Just seeing you continuing to return here for motivation and accountability is part of the process of staying on track. You'll have to let us know if you come up with a good read!!

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SWEATONCEADAY 5/20/2010 6:03PM


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STEPHANON 5/20/2010 5:55PM

    I often read for motivation, too, so I approve of your choice to look for inspiration at the bookstore! Hope your stress levels decrease soon in time for you to have a relaxing and happy summer.

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SEEHOLZ 5/20/2010 3:32PM


I'm sure you'll find something inspriing at the book store. And I'm glad you're still around. Just because I don't tell you on your page, I keep checking up on you every few days...
Stress is very toxic, especially for someone with emotional eating issues- trust me, I know. This past month- since the end of April has been a struggle.
I think it helps to take it day by day and not to overthink. What about that plan you had? Is that still something you might want to consider? I know you invested a lot of time into writing it.
Anyways, really glad to hear from you!

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MBSHAZZER 5/20/2010 3:21PM

    Hi Susan - sorry to hear you are still so stressed out! I would like to recommend a book that you might find helpful - "Thin is the New Happy" by Valerie Frankel. It's a memoir written by a woman who has struggled with her weight her whole life. She details how she goes about uncovering the source of her emotional eating and how that by doing so, she is finally able to have a normal relationship with food and exercise.

I hope things look up for you soon!

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BMASON0244 5/20/2010 3:18PM

    Try reading the Bible - it is a good source for peace.

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Always Something

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Last time I wrote I was struggling with eating (treats in the teacher's room at school, nighttime bingeing at home). Well, I'm very happy to report that I haven't been struggling with that stuff lately!! There haven't been treats hanging around at school, and in general I've been too busy to get myself into trouble with eating!! So I've actually been eating WELL for a change, and my exercise and water are good too.

But...there always has to be something, unfortunately. When I said I was too busy to get into trouble with eating, that's putting it mildly. School has been RIDICULOUSLY BUSY!! I'm a special education teacher, and really my job could be two full-time jobs: one person could do all the teaching, and the other could do all the evaluations, meetings, and paperwork. With the evaluations, you just never know.. at any given time there could be NONE, or there could be 13, like there are right now. It's busier right now than ever, and when a new referral comes you can't say, "Sorry, I'm full right now, try me again in a few months." You have to add it to the list, no matter how long the list is. Fortunately I actually really like that aspect of my job. However, on top of that I'm also dealing with a very difficult work issue that I really cannot discuss here, but it is very emotionally draining no matter how many coworkers tell me not to take it personally. In fact, it's bothering me so much that it might actually be part of the reason I'm doing okay with my eating (silver lining!)... I think it has taken my appetite away. You'd never think I'd be the kind of person who would lose my appetite from a stressful situation, but apparently I can be with the "right" (there's nothing "right" about this situation) kind of stress. I remember the summer I was 14 or 15, when a boy broke my heart, I barely ate for two days. So it's been known to happen.

Anyway, I REALLY wish I could vent about the situation here, but I just feel like that would be a breach of confidentiality. It's really bothering me though.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUN_LIFT_EAT 5/23/2010 10:49AM

    That completely sucks! I am so sorry that you are going through so much stress. I hope that things iron out.

Is summer very far off? Are you teaching summer school again this year?

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TRACYZABELLE 5/19/2010 5:09AM

    WE need more dedicated teachers like you!! I know you will rise above it and succeed-- you always do.

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LIL_EZZY 5/9/2010 5:54AM

    I hope you are ok. I know what it is like not being able to vent for confidentiality reasons. I hope that you have a few close nit collegues that can help you through though. Congrats on the eating. By the way I think you special ed teachers are the best. You really should get more credit than you guys do.

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TERRIANGEL 5/7/2010 11:07AM

    Boy, can't WAIT to be a Sped teacher! emoticon Sorry you're so stressed. I could share some unbelieveable situations in my own job serving peepe with disabilities. Some days (like 2 days ago) it's like "C'MON!!!! SERIOUSLY??!!!!!"

Hey, if you want to vent to someone who's going to be walking in your shoes and spread a little wisdom along the way, let me know. I'll send you my email. maybe we can get together for drinks one night! (light beer? Wine? What else is low cal/nonfat?)

Hang in there. And good job on the eating! :)

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MEGSFITNESS 5/7/2010 10:32AM

    A friend of mine once told me that we eat when we're stressed but okay and lose our appetite when something is really really wrong... so.. for you, hun emoticon emoticon emoticon I offer all of the virtual support I can.

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ROGUE_1 5/7/2010 12:28AM

    Hey, hang in there! Way to see the silver lining in all this though. But make sure you don't forget to eat :) And awesome job at staying away from those teacher treats!

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FITGIRL15 5/5/2010 9:24PM

    I think I have started eating for you! LOL
Don't let that work stress get to you, it can really make you very sick!!! (Look at what MY work stress has done to me! NOT GOOD!)

Take care of yourself and make sure you are eating enough for all the exercise you are getting!!!

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SEEHOLZ 5/5/2010 2:58PM

    The silver lining- I like it! I don't like that you're having to deal with work stress and the situation however- I hope things ease up.... at least you got summer to look forward to!

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ELFITZPA 5/5/2010 12:29PM

    I'm sorry you're so busy (or not, if you like it!). My fiance's Mom does special education so I see on a regular basis the toll it takes on her. She also loves it but gets roped into so much red tape and beaurocratic nonsense just trying to help her kids out. I hope everything works itself out and remember that you're doing a wonderful thing just be going to work everyday. You're making a difference in these kids' lives so try to let the BS roll off your back!

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    As a mom of two special needs kids, I thank you for the work you do. You are appreciated more than you know and you do make a difference, even if you don't hear it enough.



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STEPHANON 5/5/2010 10:56AM

    So sorry to hear that you're stressed and that you can't vent the way you usually would. I hope that whatever's going on works itself out for the best. And in the meantime, good to hear that you're staying healthy, but don't forget that you need to take care of your mind/spirit as well as your body. Make sure to take time for yourself to just relax and do something you enjoy. Don't burn out!

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MBSHAZZER 5/5/2010 10:49AM

    Susan, I am sorry you are dealing with a stressful situation, but like others have pointed out - at least it's not a binge trigger! Hang in there!

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CARILOUIE 5/5/2010 6:28AM

    I can only imagine what situation you write about... I have seen tons of complicated situations come through my building; I know how stressful it can be, and I'm not even a special ed teacher!
Try try try to not take it personally.


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SPARKNMOM 5/4/2010 10:39PM

    Ugh - as a fellow sped teacher, I can certainly empathize with you. I have so many situations and so many piles of paperwork suffocating me at the moment - it's unreal!!!! I only have 21 days left, but so many countless hours of superfluous work to do... good luck as you push through to summer!!

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SILLIANGEL 5/4/2010 10:25PM

    Situations like that are really tough, especially when you're taking on something that you can talk about. Ugh. At least it's not causing you to binge! During my last breakup I barely ate for days. Couldn't stand the thought of food. Never thought that would be me!

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LIVINFIT4ME 5/4/2010 9:25PM

    whatever it is, it will make you stronger? not sure but hang in there. glad you are taking care of yourself w/all the stress going on. i dont think i've ever been one to lose weight or appetite when stressed but interesting how our bodies react.

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LFLFLPLP 5/4/2010 7:33PM

    I know exactly what you mean! There are some stresses that cause me to emotionally eat and then there are others that make me completely lose my appetite.

I hope the situation gets better soon and things ease up a bit for you. It takes a special kind of person to do what you do.

Good job on avoiding the treats. Keep it up!!

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