Saturday, June 26, 2010
I would have loved to have lost more than 3.8lbs the first week, oh well. I want this to be my LAST first week. I am SO sick of the yo-yo.
The other day we went out to dinner and I had unsweetened iced tea with lemon to drink, a cup of minestrone soup, and then a salad with mixed greens, shaved parmesan cheese, and lemon juice and olive oil as dressing.. and I had them put grilled salmon on top. No bread. I was stuffed!
I made a couple of "Chef Meg's" recipes from sparkrecipes yesterday.
I'm thinking of going back to BodyPump classes. I haven't gone in a couple years or so. I do strength training on my own, but I think BodyPump would make me work harder. Plus, if I did that and jogged/biked outside, I'd hardly have to go to the gym except for classes.
At my current overweight state, I can no longer jog for extended periods of time. I attribute this to being heavier rather than having lost my cardio ability, because even while I was eating my way back to overweight I was still exercising...and I can still do an hour on the elliptical. But I can't jog for more than about 20 minutes or so without having to stop and walk. I've gone for several outside jogs lately and they always end up being walks after 20 minutes, give or take. I'm looking forward to running becoming easier and easier as I get lighter.
If you know about my yo-yo weight loss history you probably don't believe me, but I really do want to end this pattern. I am definitely thinking a lot about how to make the weight loss permanent this time. But I feel like a hypocrite because I say that EVERY time and then I keep gaining it back.
Right now I'm super motivated because it's the beginning of summer. In mid-August we're going for our annual trip to Cape Cod, and I'm looking forward to being down several pounds by then. Last summer (August 1, 2009) Jess proposed to me on the dunes in Wellfleet (see my background picture on my page) and I want to go back to that spot this summer with him and be happy about how I look. I will do it!!
Monday, June 21, 2010
It really did hit me when I looked in that dressing room mirror on Friday night. I have been on track ever since. I've been tracking my calories since Saturday and am finally back in the mindset where I realize that this is important. I haven't been able to weigh myself because my husband took the battery out of the scale to use in the remote control! But I will be able to weigh myself tomorrow morning - hopefully that will be a happy experience.
My mother-in-law had our digital wedding photos printed and my husband and I were looking at them last night. When we were looking at one of my favorites, during our first dance when he was dipping me, he said, "Who's that skinny girl? I miss her."
I really need to do this.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Wow, I haven't blogged in a MONTH. And last time I wrote my title was "In Need of Motivation." Funny, because I may have finally found the motivation I needed, in a negative way. Yesterday I was trying on dresses at H&M and there were three-way mirrors in each individual dressing room, so I had the privilege of seeing myself in my underwear from all angles. I look almost as bad as I did in my "before" pictures. It's time to start making regular eating sacrifices again.
PS - I ended up buying two dresses, both on sale, and a pair of shoes. One dress was a 12, the other was a 14. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
I am so sorry to have been so distant lately - work has been ridiculous so please don't take it personally if I have ignored you. You guys are the best and as always I feel accountable because you're all still writing blogs and checking in on me even though I haven't been a very good Sparker lately. I've been going to the gym although a lot of my workouts have been a bit half-hearted, but my eating has just been out of control. After the initial shock of the problem at work that I described in my last post, my feelings leveled off to a more normal stress level and my appetite came back full-force. I have been guilty of huge amounts of emotional eating lately. As I noted in my blog title, I'm in need of motivation, so I'm heading off to the bookstore to hope to find an inspiring new read or two. I really need to get my spark back right away...summer isn't going to wait for me!
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Last time I wrote I was struggling with eating (treats in the teacher's room at school, nighttime bingeing at home). Well, I'm very happy to report that I haven't been struggling with that stuff lately!! There haven't been treats hanging around at school, and in general I've been too busy to get myself into trouble with eating!! So I've actually been eating WELL for a change, and my exercise and water are good too.
But...there always has to be something, unfortunately. When I said I was too busy to get into trouble with eating, that's putting it mildly. School has been RIDICULOUSLY BUSY!! I'm a special education teacher, and really my job could be two full-time jobs: one person could do all the teaching, and the other could do all the evaluations, meetings, and paperwork. With the evaluations, you just never know.. at any given time there could be NONE, or there could be 13, like there are right now. It's busier right now than ever, and when a new referral comes you can't say, "Sorry, I'm full right now, try me again in a few months." You have to add it to the list, no matter how long the list is. Fortunately I actually really like that aspect of my job. However, on top of that I'm also dealing with a very difficult work issue that I really cannot discuss here, but it is very emotionally draining no matter how many coworkers tell me not to take it personally. In fact, it's bothering me so much that it might actually be part of the reason I'm doing okay with my eating (silver lining!)... I think it has taken my appetite away. You'd never think I'd be the kind of person who would lose my appetite from a stressful situation, but apparently I can be with the "right" (there's nothing "right" about this situation) kind of stress. I remember the summer I was 14 or 15, when a boy broke my heart, I barely ate for two days. So it's been known to happen.
Anyway, I REALLY wish I could vent about the situation here, but I just feel like that would be a breach of confidentiality. It's really bothering me though.
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