Saturday, April 04, 2009
This was my breakfast this morning - a delicious pink smoothie:
*orange mango peach juice
*light vanilla yogurt
So far I'm off to a good start...went to Trader Joe's last night, their prices are surprisingly good and they have some interesting things I'd never seen before (like baby kiwis) but it's a small store without a huge selection. A lot of the smoothie ingredients were from there.
I tracked my calories this morning. I think what I'll do at least for the weekend is to just write down what I eat on a piece of paper as I eat it, and then enter it on SP later... during the week I'd like to have it planned out in advance like I used to.
Also, I just found out that one of my best friends in real life started using SparkPeople last night! Now I just gotta figure out what her SP name is so I can find her. :)
Friday, April 03, 2009
OK, I'm going for it. I'm putting it out there to hold myself accountable. I just prepared a shopping list - fruit (varied) smoothies for breakfast, savory spinach and bean soup for lunch, Cajun shrimp and rice (or quinoa if I can find it) for dinner. Nuts, apples, yogurt, oatmeal for snacks. I'm going to a bridal shower three weeks from tomorrow. For the next three weeks I'll track what I eat and keep up the workouts.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Since I last wrote, I've been following the "baby step" approach...sort of. I've been at the gym 6 times in the past week, doing strength training and cardio each time for a total of 45-90 minutes. That's progress over a short stretch when I was only working out once or twice a week! I've been trying to make healthy food choices most of the time, but I've been eating too much. Sometimes I've had these waves of inspiration where I think I'm FINALLY going to get back on track... but then I don't come up with a plan and just keep on doing what I've been doing. Other times I've indulged in some VERY poor choices, mostly relating to ice cream and/or general portion size.
So where has all this baby step business gotten me? Heavier than I've been since 2006. I am so, so ashamed. I almost want to make this blog entry private, I'm so ashamed of myself. And I'm kind of scared. I'm needing to use my inhaler more now, I can't do a single pushup anymore, and my resting heart rate is much higher. I'm kind of frozen in inaction. I haven't bought bigger clothes, but nothing fits. I don't have a plan because I don't really have a guiding philosophy for my plan. I no longer feel like counting calories and exercising will help me keep the weight off permanently. I always eventually give in and gain the weight back. It's an incredible amount of effort to live a healthy lifestyle for me, and I can't summon that amount of effort for results that I believe will be temporary.
I'm also scared to start yet again and fail. It's scary to know that I NEED to do this, but to know also how likely it is that I will fail at doing it. I could right now erase this whole negative blog and write an uplifting one about a fresh new plan, and I could go to the grocery store and get all the healthy food for a well-thought out plan, but then be back off track by Sunday and feel even more ashamed of myself.
I am so glad that just a few minutes ago I read TurfGirl's blog. She was writing about how a healthy lifestyle does NOT mean automatically choosing healthy food; a healthy lifestyle has to include conscious decisions to make the right choices.
It's the beginning of April right now. I have to let myself get inspired to get back on track to prepare for summer. I hate thinking in the back of my mind that this is going to just be the start of yet another cycle of lose, then gain.. but even if I lose just a little and then gain a little back that is still so much better than this steady gaining pattern I'm in right now. Right now I have absolutely zero momentum, but as soon as I start to feel my biggest pants getting a little less tight I know I will get a surge of drive that will make me want to keep going.
I know I've been a huge downer in this blog entry, but I'm going to leave it as a record of how I'm feeling now. But I also feel like I'm ready to make a REAL step in the right direction.. it's time for a fresh new plan.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
This evening I jogged to the train station to meet up with my boyfriend, and then we walked back home together. It was between 15-20 minutes in all...not much... but better than nothing. Now that it's spring I should do this more often! We might go to the gym soon too...
My eating was iffy today...I'm not counting calories so I'm really not sure how bad it was. I know I can do much worse, but I can also do much better. I'm thinking I might have to go back to counting calories to really get things under control. I feel like I have a bit of motivation that is slowly building up...and soon it will be strong enough that I'm going to start being serious again.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Have I ever mentioned how much I'm deeply in love with my boyfriend? Well, I am. He is my best friend and I love that we get to spend all our time together on the weekends.
He also has ingrained habits that keep him almost effortlessly fit (and hot!! mmm) and when I'm around him, I'm affected. Sometimes I feel guilty, and I hate having him see me with all the extra weight I've put on in the past few months. Sometimes I'm inspired to work hard and make him proud of me. Sometimes I think I should just do what he does and I should be able to maintain a healthy weight like he does.
Lately my motivation has been seriously lacking. But somehow, on the weekends, it all floods back. I know a lot of people have a much HARDER time on the weekends than during the week, but lately the opposite has been true for me. If I could keep up my weekend lifestyle all the time, I think I'd be okay!
On the weekends I get plenty of sleep. Mmmmmm, sleep. And my boyfriend is a cuddler. Do you know how delicious the feeling of waking up on a Saturday or Sunday morning is when I'm in his arms and I realize I don't have to get up yet, so I close my eyes again and sleep until I'm fully rested?
On the weekends we stay busy. There's no time to use food as entertainment (and it makes pretty horrible entertainment, honestly) when you've got lots of other, more interesting things to do!
On the weekends lately we've been going to the gym together. I haven't been going to classes at the gym...I've been working out on my own. We went to the gym together on Friday night and Sunday, this weekend. On Saturday he dropped me off there, went on some errands, and then came and met me at the gym (net result - my workout was almost two hours long, his was about an hour. Longest workout for me in a long time.)
On the weekends we go for walks.
On the weekends we go out to eat. I've been making healthy choices at restaurants lately. (Though as Jess points out, I've been substituting unhealthy choices elsewhere - not good either!)
So on the weekend I feel like I can take this huge task of working on my healthy lifestyle and actually do something about it. But whatever progress I make, I wipe out when it's back to feeling tired, overworked, and frumpy on Monday when I get up to the alarm at 6 a.m., squeeze into one of the few pairs of pants I have that I can button up, and bring my cooler to work with an amount of food that couldn't possibly be enough to help me procrastinate with work as much as I want to.
Come to think of it, I have struggled around this time of year every year since I started using SP (2007).
No answers here, but I really liked what I was doing over the weekend, and I really DON'T like what I've been doing today.
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