Thursday, May 23, 2013
And actually logging it. I need to get back in the habit and take care of myself instead of everyone and everything else first.
Getting some decent sleep last night for the first time in forever helped. I got home after 11 from picking son up from school trip last night. When I crashed, I really crashed. I didn't roll out of bed (to stay up) until 10:30 this morning. I really needed the rest. I still feel sleepy, but I plan to just tough it out and go to bed early tonight.
I have a LONG weekend ahead of me. Son turns 16 on Sunday. He is having a few friends over (invited before I was asked?! Ugh.) One of whom is a pescatarian(?? What the heck is that? Some form of vegetarian, from what I gather. He eats seafood and eggs, though.)
So, the plan is: bake a monkey shaped cake (I bought the pan in green bay last week, along with decorating tools and icing coloring) put it on one of the platters from my wedding (thank God I kept them. You should have seen me trying to figure out what I was going to put the cake on!) Decorate the cake. Make son clean firepit BEFORE Sunday (yeah, I will probably be out there with a shovel Saturday night) get firewood, make food.
The party menu? Monkey cake, ice cream cups (cra*, gotta go get those!) Hot dogs and brats (dang, need buns too!), homemade crab salad (rainbow rotini, fat free miracle whip, peas, crab meat), devilled eggs, veggies with dip, homemade baked beans (can't use canned pork&beans because of the vegan kid) *crud! Gotta go get those cooking, oh wait, I can do that tomorrow*, tortilla chips and salsa, bottled water-with assorted flavorings available, limited amount of soda.
And I still plan to go workout tomorrow. Yeah, I'm gonna need more sleep!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
I actually did drag myself out to the pool. After a hunt through the house for my missing shoe...that I had just left by the door this morning, like 4 hrs earlier...dang rat dog. At least I've more or less broken him from chewing on anything other than flipflops/cushy dr scholl's style shoes. Ugh. But I found both loafers, so out the door I went.
So, I got a little wet. I was heading to the pool anyway. After I parked at the Y, I texted my sister "when is mom's surgery?" Answer? 7 this morning. End of answer. So I text again. How is she? "In ICU" (well DUH) I text AGAIN "How did it go, what did they say, how is she?"
Reply "not good. Fine"
Yeah, LOLATURTLE, I know. Trust me, I KNOW.
I checked my Sparkpage. I had a wonderful message from an awesome friend (thank you DIDMIS) that made me feel better. It made me cry, but I also felt better.
Then I went in and spent over 35 minutes working out in the pool. 10 minutes less than class, but I work harder when I'm by myself.
Now I'm either going to treat myself to lunch out or stop at the grocery for cottage cheese and lunch meat...
Oh, and I still have my attitude going. I got out of the pool and didn't feel like messing with socks, so I said forget it, threw them in my gym bag and put bare feet in loafers.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
If you see it-please scold it soundly and send it back!
Seriously, I was going to go to the Y today. I didn't. I have plenty of valid reasons (son had a school trip that required being there for the bus to "leave at 5:30"-it didn't leave til after 6. I was up and down since 3am afraid we would oversleep. The drama queen's heart surgery is today) But, let's be honest. They're excuses.
Hence, the 20lb weight gain since I got snowed in back in february. I KNOW I can lose the weight. I KNOW what to do, how to do it, what to eat, etc, etc, ad nauseum.
I COULD have went to the Y after the bus left and worked out then. My swimsuit was in the truck (damp, but in the bag in the truck) and I left my clean spare in my locker with a towel (oand the Y rents towels if you forget one) I was already over halfway there from the house and they open at 5am. I came home for a nap with the intention of getting up and going back for class...um, about that....
And logging? SO hasn't been happening. Watching what I eat? (If I keep my eyes open when I eat a brownie-or 4-does that count as watching?) Yeah.
I keep PLANNING to get back to it. Then STUFF HAPPENS. Like school events (the all-nighter that trashed Mother's Day and today's trip? Oh, and let's not forget All Grades Prom), calls about working (still waiting to hear how the Scottie Dogs sold), and the ever-popular Mama Drama. Oh, and budget juggling, son's birthday coming up Sunday, and Hub's work (or lack of). And market starts the first weekend of june.
I got on the scale the other day and it said 302.2...I about DIED!! Then I realized getting on the scale when you have "really go" is a BAD idea, weighed again in the afternoon and was back to 296. Still VERY unhappy with myself.
It is just SO MUCH EASIER when the budget isn't tighter than a harp string. When I could afford to take myself out for either breakfast before the gym or lunch afterwards, it was easier. And I swear, if one person sends me that "don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog" I will SCREAM. I really despise that saying. Who decided they had the right to tell me what rewards were "acceptable"???
Don't tell me to reward myself with a movie (cost $9.50 plus transportation) a video (new release rental $5 per night, purchase up to $25) or new clothes (anywhere from $10 for new undies to around 1,000 for a whole wardrobe). I can afford $1 for a brownie ($4 for a container) or $3 for a mocha much easier.
On top of which? I get "that attitude" when people tell me things I already know. You know which attitude I mean. The self destructive "I can't? Want to bet? Watch me." attitude.
Don't start, please. My head already KNOWS. I just have to get the rest of me back in line.
So, the "mama drama" continues. Talked to her Saturday, she has/had pneumonia. Was highly po'd that they were treating her with antibiotic shots and oxygen-at her nursing home. (How DARE they!? She should have been admitted to the hospital, you know. She doesn't get NEARLY enough attention at the nursing home. NOT!)
Supposedly her surgery is today. No clue what time or anything. I love being the family mushroom (kept in the dark and fed cra*).
I also was apparently supposed to keep son home from trip so he could worry about her all day. Yeah, like that was going to happen? Think again.
And of course, we had to go through the whole "I'm going to be in more pain than anyone else ever has" load of fertilizer-AGAIN. For about the 50th? time (not exaggerating, either!).
I think that's also part of my motivation problem. Any time I talk to her, she has to be negative. And whiney. And wanting attention. And whiney. And trying to get the family fighting again (which is also-NOT HAPPENING). And did I mention WHINEY?
And anything I'm doing positive? Can't possibly compare to what she's accomplishing. "And she has heart failure, you know". AARRGH!!
Like I have no idea what pain is, after having 2 total knee replacements 3 months apart?! Especially when they let me wake up from the first one, totally alert, with NO PAIN MEDS??
And I'm walking? I managed to go to ohio and take care of her in the hospital 6 weeks after the 1st one??
But nothing I do can compare.
The best part? She will brag about me to other people! But she refuses to say anything supportive or nice TO ME. Okay, let me revise that. She will say something "nice", immediately followed by "BUT" and then make a list of what I'm doing wrong.
Is there any wonder I'm struggling?
We'll see what I hear later about her surgery. And I will deal with things then.
Right now? I think I might drag myself to the pool. Okay, I will drag myself to the pool. Honest. I'm getting up to look for shoes now...
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Well, my PLAN was good this week. I prepacked salads and veggies for lunches, I got more cottage cheese, I have healthier snacks on hand, and I got healthier stuff for dinners. I went to the Y on Monday, and planned to go today and Friday both.
Then I overslept this morning (not too late, I could have made class) checked email on my mobile web, and had a message from the Scottie Dog lady. I called and had to leave a message, so leaving for the pool was out of the question until she called back. So I started cleaning my house (yes, I could probably end up on Hoarders if I didn't clear it out every so often). It doesn't LOOK like I did much, but I got a good start, then the phone rang.
The Scottie Dog Rally is this weekend (which I knew) and they would like as many scotties as I can possibly have for them. I asked if she could send me directions for getting there or if someone could pick them up. She offered to get them today, but I hadn't bothered putting the beards on yet. The last time we talked, I had the impression they only wanted like 5 of the white, 5 cream, and 10 charcoal (at absolute most) so I knew I could do beards in one evening. Now, it sounds like the 100 I had offered is what I probably should have made. Oh well. I told her the beards aren't done, so she will pick them up Friday morning when she is in town for the rally stuff Friday afternoon/evening and saturday's events. So, now I won't be doing anything other than making scottie dogs from now until then. (Well, except for going south to shop with a friend tomorrow, but she's driving, so I can work the whole trip).
And Friday, I won't be going to class because I will be waiting for them to pick up the cozies.
At least I have my meals figured out and lunches/snacks prepacked!
Now, I need to stop wasting time and get back to work!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Well, I didn't get to the Y yesterday-because? Our friend needed the van back-again. This time he needs it not to hire another person, but because one of his drivers that was in their personal vehicle-HIT my friend in the taxi!!! And my friend had his son with him. Thank God there were no critical injuries, but the little boy is in rough shape. Concussion, stitches in his forehead, bruises, sore leg (waiting for more news on that). He was in the back seat, buckled in and the van got hit on the whole rear quarter panel where he was. It could have been so much worse.
So, I have the pickup again-until the insurance settles and gets him another van. I asked him if the guy that hit them is still going to be employed by the taxi company...I know if it were me, the insurancefor the company would probably say "out!"
Anyway. Then this morning? My teen refused to get out of bed, yes, again! And I ended up having to take care of his dog while son was in shower and then take son to school. I informed him it is going to be a LONG summer being grounded and not allowed out of my sight if he doesn't straighten up-PDQ!
I stayed out to run errands after I dropped him off. Bank deposit (yay monkey check!) And my bag is in the truck to go to the pool. I came out for breakfast first. Yes, I logged it.
Once I post this, I will drag my lazy carcass to the Y for my exercise class. Then go pick up a few things at the grocery. I'm out of cottage cheese, and with my protein requirement-that is a recipe for disaster. And son needs milk. I may get another tomato, I'm craving blt sandwich again. Contemplating trying turkey bacon...
We'll see. Anyway, have a great day! Off to the pool for me!
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