SELENAMDZ   10,260
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this totally just happened...

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Yeah!!! Two miles in 20 minutes :) :) :) :)

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GARDENCHRIS 8/15/2014 7:52AM


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JLPEASE 8/14/2014 12:26PM

    Wow, that's awesome!!

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SONYARODRI29 8/13/2014 10:04PM

    Way to go!! Awesome time!

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TANJERM 8/13/2014 9:52PM

    That is awesome. I have never been able to run. I have started the 0 to 5K but I am just now getting a little over 1 mile in 20 minutes. So way to go.

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proud of myself!!!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

I made the goal to run 10 miles this week. So...monday morning I headed to the gym and ran 3 miles in 34 minutes, which was no easy task at being overweight and not running too often. So I walked for a little to cool down... Then I thought...hmm I think I could do more. So I ran/jogged a 4th mile at 11 minutes. I can't believe I did four miles in one day!!! Feeling pumped!! Only 6 more to do this week. Im thinking maybe 2or3 today. I would like to eventually get to 25 miles a week!!!!

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HOPEFULLYLIGHT 8/13/2014 12:59PM


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PATTYKLAVER 8/13/2014 10:14AM

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ANDREWMOM 8/13/2014 8:48AM

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I'm back..I mean it

Monday, July 28, 2014

Well here I am once again...but this time I'm feeling pumped! I am excited to get look good for being a mom of 4. December is my 29th birthday. I have a dress I really want to be able to fit by then. :) I sm officially 22 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight with my 4th son. Than I eill only have 20 more to lose to be back to where I was before my first and second baby. Totally doable. This week I am hoping for 2 185. So excited to get back in the 170's!!

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SOUL2SHINE79 7/28/2014 11:57AM

    Awesome! Love your excitement! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WINACHST 7/28/2014 10:13AM

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CINDYLOU4782 7/28/2014 9:17AM


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This is beyond my control. Any advice? I feel helpless.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Gosh, where do I even begin? My hope/faith in myself has gone. So sad to say, but I have lost that motivation. I am exhausted. It all started back in September when my husband deployed. It was beyond stressful doing everything by myself, with my 4 boys all 6 and under in -40 degree weather. It was hard. During which my appendix was removed as well. Little crazy things kept popping up, my kids were having a hard time emotionally and in school.
Anyway, I was so grateful when he came home back in February. I thought "Finally things can get back to normal"
Boy, I was so wrong. It was the beginning of a whole new life, or so it feels.
My baby boy began to have "breath holding speels". These spells are completely involuntary. They cause him to turn blue and pass out. The first time it happened was shortly after my husband returned from deployment. I didn't really think of it, it was more like a " umm what just happened?" kind of moment.
The second time he passed out, I was worried. I talked to my husband and doctor. Doctor said t was normal, he would grow out of it.
Third time, he passed out and began to have a seizure. His seizure lasted a few minutes. it was terrifying, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I just held him crying and screaming while my husband called 911. We thought he was dead.
Well, I took him to get some test done and his EEG cam back abnormal.
So, day after his first birthday, May 8th, my son once again had an episode. He was crying because I was brushing his brothers teeth, he wanted to be held. I thought, "okay little man, just wait a couple minutes". I came from out of the boys room, he was in the hall right next to the door. I saw him turn blue and pass out. He began to have another seizure, only this time much worse. After about 5 minutes of his seizure, I began to realize I needed to act NOW. I grabbed his medicine incase of emergencies, stripped him of his clothes and inserted it into his rectum. I called 911. I began to rub his back, lay him on his side, talk calm to him. Nothing was working, not even the medicine. My husband was gone at the gym so I had to utilize my 6 year old son for help. I feel so bad for doing so, I had no option. He cried and screamed " Why is moses shaking!!" .
Honestly, looking back I wish I would have informed my children more on the situation before . But, truthfully, I was not expecting another seizure from him.
Anyway, after 6-7 minutes after his emergency medicine he finally stopped having a seizure. The seizure was around 12 minutes long, which is pretty dang long, especially after medication. We had to ride in the ambulance with him (for the second time) this time he was on oxygen, it was terrifying .
So, we spent the night in the hospital with him, took him hours to "come back". It was horrific. He is now on seizure meds, they are thinking he might have epilepsy. We have done an MRI, which came back "normal" except for some mild hyper intensity.
I have another apt in town for him next week, and another EEG is vital after his last seizure.
This has all been so overwhelming. I cannot express in words the fear and pain of seeing my child, but NOT "seeing my child". In that moment I wonder, will he be the same when he wakes? Will this ever end? Why? Please God, make it stop.
So, I find myself back on the burner again. Anytime Moses is extremly upset, falls or is frustrated, he begins to hold his breath. I have to RUN to him, hold him, talk calm and hope for the best. Sometimes, most times, he just turns blue . Other times, passes out, and there is always that chance for another seizure.
I am also, the only person who can successfully calm him down. I actually had to come speeding back from the store the other day because my sweet husband couldn't calm him down.
I feel like all hope to becoming fit i gone, not just because I cannot really go anywhere without him, and have to be prepared for a seizure at all times, but I have lost that will to do so.
I feel so overwhelmed with what is going on at home, that I can not concentrate at all on me. I am a stress eater, and you don't get much more stressed than watching your baby like a hawk 24/7 .
Being a mom is my number one, he is most important right now. But, I still look in the mirror and want to cry. Just wish I could successfully juggle the two, hopefully with time.
If you pray, will you do so for my Moses?
any advice?
Thank you

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOUL2SHINE79 6/25/2014 11:14AM

    God Bless your beautiful Moses. I will say prayers for him and your stress. I can't even imagine your stress right now. My littlest was born May 8th, 2013 a day after your little guy...she was having acid reflux issues where she would spit up clear fluid at night and start gasping for breath, scared the living begeezus out of me...and of course it wouldn't happen at the dr. office, so I don't think they took it a serious as it was. So I can only imagine the stress you are going through. A friend of mine, her little guy used to have seizures when he was little- and his testing came back normal also...and he eventually outgrew it. I pray that happens for your little Moses. I hope he will outgrow this and get better soon. Please take care, and take time for yourself when you can. ((((HUGS))))

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    WOW I cannot imagine what you have gone through! You are definitely dealing with a lot!! I think in situations like what you are going through putting yourself on the back burner doesn't have to be a "I gave up on myself" decision. Maintaining what success you have had is also a HUGE success!!! Also remember even if you are on the back burner that doesn't mean it is all over it just means you have other priorities that must come first at this time, YOU ARE STILL ON THE STOVE ;)

If you're looking for advice, don't be so hard on yourself and if maintaining is what you can do then that is still a success. emoticon

You are in my prayers. emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 5/29/2014 12:36PM

    gosh so sorry this is happening ..... I also raised 4 boys and I know how stressful just the normal stuff is.... can't imagine what you are dealing with. BUT I have to tell you, Ican hear how much you love your children..... IF YOU are not healthy also how will you care for your children???? REMEMBER do it for them if that is what you have to think about for right now, they are counting on you to care for them, so do WHATEVER is necessary to take care of your self! emoticon

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ASHWILLDOTHIS 5/28/2014 8:48PM

    I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. I work with patients that have seizures but if it were my own child I would be as stressed and as worried as you are. I pray that his medications help him and you learn more from his tests. I am thinking about you and your family.


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ONE*BUSY*MOM 5/28/2014 2:52PM

    Oh my dear Selena, we have been friends on SP for so long and I have been so happy for you as I watched your family grow. I'm not on SP much anymore, but I felt compelled to write to you after reading your blog. I know this is a tough time in your life right now and I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Being a mother is a job like no longer -- I read once that it is like having your heart walk outside your body, and that is so true. We are so vulnerable as we watch our children grow, and we are even more vulnerable when they are struggling, particularly with a health issue over which we have no control.

I know hard it is to have a struggling child and feel that you have absolutely no time or energy left for yourself. Yes, I do. It is so unbelievably difficult, but Selena, you have the strength to get through this. You are tough, you are a Mama Bear, and when things get better for little Moses, you will find yourself on the other side of the journey, looking at the mirror and seeing something that may even surprise you -- you will see the power of your own will, courage, and commitment to what's important to you.

Remember our bodies are constantly changing. We get pregnant, we give birth, we nurse our children, we hug them when they need comfort, and we lift them up when they fall. In time we get our bodies back and they have been forever changed. But they are still our bodies and we should be proud of what they have done. Eventually you will be able to commit to getting fit again, but in the meantime, know there is light at the end of the tunnel. And on the other side there will be an even more amazing you waiting to embrace you.

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Comment edited on: 5/28/2014 2:55:42 PM

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ABAKER34 5/28/2014 10:24AM

    I am so sorry for what you are going through. My youngest son (4 now) suffered from febrile seizures up until he turned about 1, and has grown out of them. They were caused from temperature spikes (especially when he was teething). Any sudden increase in his temperature could bring one on so I felt like we were chasing him around with a thermometer all of the time. There is nothing scarier in the world than to see your baby go through a seizure and to be helpless to do anything about it. Keep doing what your doing and taking care of your family.

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2 week plan

Friday, March 07, 2014

Trying out a two week, no cheat plan. My hope is that this will get me back into the swing of things and boost my motivation. I am hoping if I look at things day by day for 2 weeks, it won't be so over whelming. These two weeks I have decided to not eat after dinner, eat oatmeal and less sugary breakfast foods and stick to protein (shakeology) and veggies based dinners. I am trying to eat more fresh foods for snack, like an apple or salad. I also will be waking up to go to the gym every morning before my family wakes, yes you heard that right. I am so excited!I have told this plan to my husband and he is going to help me not cheat. Here's to the next two weeks. I'll let you know how it goes March 21st

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THELILMERMAID 3/10/2014 11:37AM

    Sounds like a plan! Glad your hubs is home & able to support you with your goals.

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PENNYSAVER2 3/8/2014 9:26AM

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