SELENACAS   42,809
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Mark this down as my starting point

Monday, May 19, 2014

God is good - and he loves me just the way I am...right now...however, he loves me much to much to leave me this way. Food has been an issue for me for as long as I can remember...I suppose you could call it an addiction and with that, I'm under the yoke of that sin/affliction. I am called not to be under this yoke so I am going to work to give my food, and my life over to the care of my Heavenly Father.

I will be weighing every Monday - will be incorporating more exercise and spending more time being quiet and in prayer, daily. Thanks for listening and thanks for being on this journey with me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELIZEBETH87 5/19/2014 2:52PM

    Welcome!
My favorite verse to go to when struggling with my weight loss is "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"

We can do this!



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2/18/2011 - Question of the day - "daily 10th step"

Friday, February 18, 2011

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Are you remembering this important step? If you have not yet reached Step 10, can you see the value in conducting a daily self-inspection?

~~~~~
I have a daily 10th step that I submit to my sponsor and some other folks that keep me grounded...I thought the format might prove helpful to some of you so I've cut and pasted one that I did the other day below. For me, it's been instrumental in my recovery, keeping me honest, but also allowing me to feel my feelings daily.

Love in Recovery,
Selena

Daily 10th Step ~ Honesty at all Costs!
Gratitude List:

¥ I was abstinent today

¥ Got a great deal on some shoes for the kids

¥ My nephew helped make dinner

¥ Realized I do have a picture with my friend you passed away, made ma happy

¥ My kids had a good Valentine’s day

¥ I love my office

Was I selfish?

No I don't think so...

Was I resentful?

Yes, I was actually a pretty sour pickle today. My boss is annoying and I am on a board of directors with another woman who does NOTHING, and there were several times today when I caught myself talking about them behind their backs and I tried not to, but did it anyway. I thought about doing it 10 times and only did it 6…so it that progress? I actually tweeted to myself that I don’t have to constantly say what I think, but it only staved off my behavior for a minute. Tomorrow I will work hard not to be nasty behind people’s backs.

Was I dishonest?

I don’t think so

Was I afraid?

Initial thought was no, but in retrospect, I am fearful about a trip coming up after my conference…I’ll be gone for almost 2 weeks and I’m worried how my husband will feel when the rubber meets the road…makes me nervous.

Do I owe an amends?

No, not really, I mean guess I could tell the people I spoke about that I was talking trash about them and apologize but not sure it would help much. Truthfully I’m burning the candle at both ends and to hear someone (who is co-chair and does nothing) ask questions like “why don’t you just do this or that,” it makes my blood boil, so I pushed back…hey Jackie, could you go ahead and take those action items? I could tell she didn’t want to but finally agreed. I think there is a fine line between getting treated like a door mat and making your boundaries known…I’m still working on it.

Did I eat my meal plan?

Yes I ate a weighed and measured food plan…

What I had:

Breakfast: 2 nutrigrain waffles, ½ banana, 1 patty, coffee and skim

Lunch: 5 oz steak, 1 potato, 2.5 T reduced sour cream, tomato, onion

Snack optional: 1 ww cream cheese, 2 JJ flats

Dinner: 1 ½ cup stew with veggies, ¾ cup red beans, 1 cup rice

Did I exercise?

Did my physio exercises

My Plan for tomorrow:

Breakfast: oatmeal, berries, 1 egg, 1 egg white, 1 english muffin, coffee and milk

Lunch: 5 oz chicken, onion roll, onion, light mayo, 3 oz baked fries, tomato, lettuce

Snack optional: 1 ww cream cheese, 2 JJ flats, 1 tomato or cream cheese and celery

Dinner: 2.5 oz penne pasta, ricotta, mozzarella cheese, spinach and 1 pc lite garlic toast

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YESWEDID 2/19/2011 10:53AM

    Nice blog - I like the approach, and I'm sure it will help other people if they give it a try as well.

I get 1 spark point for responding to a blog - I didn't even see the comment about your boss.... :)

Hugs!

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KAES_MIMI 2/18/2011 5:02PM

    This is great...... emoticon
I love the steps of inventory and gratitude. Being honest with
our selves is sooooo important, and a daily check in really helps.
Thank you for posting!

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Question of the day ~ What does boasting about the cross mean to you? Do you boast about the cross?

Monday, February 07, 2011

To me, boasting about the cross is about action, not lip service. Am I walking in his Spirit, am I being honest? Am I being a light to others? If I profess my love for Christ on Sunday and flip someone off on the way to work on Monday...am I being the message? For me, today, it's about being completely and totally honest and coming the foot of the cross minute by minute to ask for guidance, forgiveness and mercy.

Love in recovery,
Selena





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRESHA811 2/18/2011 8:54AM

    What an excellent post! :)

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MSILVER94 2/17/2011 1:35PM

    Definitely true!!

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 2/17/2011 1:33PM

    emoticon

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TACONES 2/17/2011 7:44AM

    You are right. You have to remember that YOU might be the only BIBLE someone else might be reading. So with that being said, people should always try to walk in the light of the Lord. emoticon

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TACONES 2/17/2011 7:44AM

    You are right. You have to remember that YOU might be the only BIBLE someone else might be reading. So with that being said, people should always try to walk in the light of the Lord. emoticon

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TACONES 2/17/2011 7:44AM

    You are right. You have to remember that YOU might be the only BIBLE someone else might be reading. So with that being said, people should always try to walk in the light of the Lord. emoticon

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Mid year check - in..."I'm blessed and relying on God"

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Well was chugging along with my weight loss and things were going great...then I got caught up. I was struggling to find my serenity, my behaviors started to creep back in and I needed to get centered again. Spoke to my sponsor and we decided that for a while I need to focus on my plan and not focus on weighing in. I've been doing the work and have been honest which is huge. I've slowly started to get that third leg of the stool back on track and I feel so much better. As someone with an eating disorder, it's imperative to stay mindful that this is not about vanity for me, it's about saving my life. The scale is not important, it's a tool, like all the others and it does not have power over me or my program.

I'm so blessed that I am abstinent today, sobriety is saving me from the hell of my eating disorder. I will continue to go to meetings, do the work, write down all the food, make calls, do the steps and reach out to others who suffer. I will take inventory and try to focus on what's next to learn and conquer...progress NOT perfection!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRESHA811 2/18/2011 8:54AM

    It sounds like you made a breakthrough. Keep it up!

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JAMIEJOYNER 2/17/2011 12:29PM

    Scales are evil!

I really liked what you said in your intro too by the way. It was very heart-felt.

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SKINNIXMINI 8/2/2010 9:35AM

    I always tell myself that I can achieve any goal I set my mind to, and that I'm worth it. To me it helps. You're doing a great job. Press on. :)

emoticon emoticon

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CHRISTADAWN1 6/24/2010 2:44PM

    Thank you for this blog! Be encouraged..I think you received great advice about stepping away from the scale. It's not the end all! You are doing great! Press on.... emoticon

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VAMPTRIANA4EVR 6/24/2010 10:04AM

    Sounds like you are doing great! I have been struggling myself here lately... I need a dose of what you have!

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MCJULIEO 6/24/2010 9:42AM

    Sounds like blessing upon blessing multiplied together! How wonderful that you can use your experiences for the good of others, and that the suffering was not just for your benefit, but can benefit others as well.

"Progress, not perfection" will be my mantra today! Thanks!

Comment edited on: 6/24/2010 9:43:39 AM

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Christmas Reflections

Thursday, December 17, 2009

For me, Christmas has really been about longing, depression, a false smile and unrealistic expectations...each year in September, right before my birthday I would be reminded that yet another year had gone by and all my false promises to myself had not been realized. I would of course throw in the towel because, why bother, the Trifecta of Holiday celebrations was about to commence and I was going to binge and purge my way through it.

I'd strap on a velour sweat suit and settle in for the winter...I wouldn't really try to look cute, because, well I was extremely bloated and uncomfortable ( I'd venture to say I would typically gain 10 to 15lbs each Christmas). I would go to my annual "girls night out," bitter and jealous that I was 100lbs fatter than all my cute friends, wondering if I could stop for fast food on the way home from dinner in an attempt to make myself feel better, all the while swearing this was going to be the last year, that beginning in January I would suddenly "get it" and become a new me.

This year, I am turning my attentions to my behaviors...I've gotten loosey goosey with my food, a bite here a nibble there...I didn't weigh my meat on Thanksgiving, I'm craving Diet Coke, basically my program needs to become tightened up because I know this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful! I do NOT WANT BACK THE HELL FROM WHENCE I WAS DELIVERED!!

This year, this Christmas is about clean and simple, clean and simple food, people, events, gifts....I'm striving to remember that this season is about Christ and how his birthday saved me, how Mary's and Joseph's faith contributed to my ultimate salvation...that everyday I fall short, but that Christchild was born to die, so that I might live...that's what it's about, not my hiding, my gorging, my purging, my self-hatred, it's about deliverance for hell which is just what OA has done for me!

In love and recovery,
Selena

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRESHA811 2/18/2011 8:56AM

    I totally identify with your feelings on this. It's so important to remember the reason for the season and not get weighed down with our earthly issues. Good luck to you!

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BTRFLY9IRL 2/19/2010 3:18PM

    i'm subscribing to your blog!

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REDCHILIFLAKES 1/5/2010 1:18PM

    For some reason, your post has made me a bit teary eyed. This past Thanksgiving I was in the place that you were a few years ago, and I vowed that this Christmas I would not succumb to what was wrong with the holiday and instead celebrate what was right with it.

It is so inspiring to see how far you've come, and I'm looking forward to see your continued progress. Thank you.

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YESWEDID 1/2/2010 11:32AM

    hi girlfriend,

you have the strength and wisdom that God gave you, and you have the power to overcome these earthly challenges. we have dominion over all things on earth.

you've done so well in 2009, lots of hard work and WILL POWER. i have faith in you, you will rock in 2010!

love ya!

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FEISTYJEN 12/18/2009 6:06PM

    Selena - you're awesome! You've done such an incredible job this year and you're so inspiring to someone like me who really just started on my journey. Merry Christmas!

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PIGSDONTSING 12/17/2009 2:21PM

    I identified very much with your reflections, Selena. I just joined SparkPeople yesterday. I have a planned start date on the 27th (with a friend here in town doing a plan a litte different than what I need, but we are starting together)I have been trying to be more mindful of what I eat since I moved into my apartment a couple months ago...before that I spent 4 months couch surfing, so fastfood was about the only way to go. But I am actually seeming to gain pounds since I stopped eating fastfood and have my own place! I think it is because sugar and sheer quatitiy of foods eaten have increased. So the moral of the story is that "just thinking" about eating better isn't making the grade.

I am hugely motivated by people who understand and who either are on the journey that I am on or have conquered it. Congrats on so many pounds lost already!

Have you watched the movie "Super Size Me?" I hadn't seen it til a few weeks ago and it really grossed me out. I can't even look at a McDonalds or fast food place without feeling an upset stomach. If you haven't watched it, I recommend you do. It's on hulu.com. The guy is insane to put his body through that, but it is a great awareness tool, and may help you and others kick the fast food habit.

blessings and best wishes to you!

Trish

ps...you are a very good writer!

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MOSIERMEISTER 12/17/2009 12:48PM

    Your off to a great start. Leaning on the Lord is always beneficial. He will carry you through anything.
1.Prioritize
2.Log it and post it where you can see it
3.check it daily
4.follow through
As you can see I am a list person. Lists can be so helpful. Not to say we won't have set backs cause we will. But faith, implementing and a little motivation go a long way.
Good luck. If you need to talk or just vent stop by my page!

Peace and blessings

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ALICIA214 12/17/2009 12:44PM

  Selena

Congratulations, you are on your way to liking yourself, a major step to getting healthy.
I am sure you are aware of all the good folks on this site are there for you, just reach out. Joining teams is a big help too.

Good Luck and Merry Christmas.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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