Nestled in between the Spark People emails was an email from Betty Crocker with the subject line of "Chocolate. Carmel. Fudge. Oh my."
Oh my, indeed. I think I gained a little just looking at the pictures. With adjectives like irresistible and indulgent, this is an example of why I'm overweight. I have, in fact, allowed indulgences to be irresistible. Or at least I've chosen not to resist them. For instance, I love the cherry cordial Hershey's kisses. But I treat the bag as if it snack sized. Instead of buying one bag and having it last all February, it might last a couple of days.
And with recipes like Turtle Tart and Decadent Cherry Mousse Brownies and Indulgent Brownie Tort I'm looking at a mailer full of temptations to fend off. The Turtle Tart, by the way supposedly makes 16 servings that each come in at 530 calories and 29 g of fat.
I'm hoping that I can in fact indulge in something simple like a batch of chocolate chip cookies or a plain tray of brownies. Something that will be sweet but far more reasonable than a quarter of a day's calories in one slim slice. (And do I have to add that I would probably have cut it into slices that were twice as big?)
I was thinking about why I want to lose weight and become fit. It isn't just for health reasons. I have to be totally honest, there is more than a little bit of vanity in play too.
I was reading a team post about a lady whose weight tracking forshadows the path that I'd like to take. Over fifty pounds of lost weight and she is now a size 10. She was writing about shopping for a cocktail dress and for the first time in a long time, being happy with how she looked dressed up (and in spaghetti straps no less).
This is encouraging. It makes me feel like it isn't just a pipe dream to be shopping from the middle of the rack looking at what is cute and flattering, rather than just scanning for where there might be a couple XLs to pick from. You know there are entire stores that I've never set foot in, because they only go up to size 14. Lovely clothes and styles that have come and gone without me because I can't fit in them. Numerous military balls where I've had to try to pick out what clothes might still fit, rather than luxuriating in something opulent and special. Years where I've had to accent with a shawl because the matching sweater no longer fits.
I am done with this. I want to shop by color and design, not by searching out the dross remaining in my size. I want people to see me and think that I'm clever and kind AND fit. I want to look at a photo and have wonderful memories, not count my chins.
Drink that water. Eat the veggies. Lift the weight. Walk the walk.
Haven't been on an effective roll of working out much. I did get several workouts in over Christmas while inlaws were visiting. But I haven't been consistent in a routine of getting out of bed and moving right to the weight bench. I need to be more serious about this.
I'm not getting younger. I don't want to regret not working out now when I'm older the way that I regret not working out over the last ten years.
I would have sworn that it had only been a couple of weeks since I'd worked out. I know that every morning I've said that tomorrow would be the day I rolled out of bed and got a good one in.
Well, I finally did pull out the weights and the bench this afternoon. When I opened my workout log, the last workout was almost two months ago. Crikey!
The good news is that I did do a whole work out. So rather than being another in the chain of workout failure days, it is the first in the chain of positive workout days.
Actually, since yesterday I was a hard charging player in ds #1's parents vs kids soccer practice, this is the second good workout day. That makes it officially part of a roll.
I can look at my mom and her sisters and even my grandmother and see a chain of women who got heavier and less active as they got older. I can also look at my mother in law and her mom and see women who stayed active and fit despite getting older. My grandmother in law was playing tennis in her 70s.
My mother-in-law goes everywhere and walks all over. She is the type who snorkles, climbs Diamond Head, walks all over Rome or Paris. My mom is the type who goes walking and is always on the look out for the next bench. I know which one of these lives I want as I get older.
This isn't something that I'm going to be able to choose in twenty years. I have to choose now what sort of life I will have when I'm in my sixties with grown children and grandchildren to keep up with.
Every time I walk instead of driving or get up early to do weights, I am choosing a little more mobility and freedom for later. When you put it in terms of exploring every side street of Pompeii or spending hours walking through Florence then the extra work now seems much more worth it.
As for cost, I have taken to measuring the cost of workout clothes relative to medical equipment, weight benches or boxing gloves to a months worth of blood pressure or diabetes medicine. It certainly makes these choices seem a lot more affordable in the here and now.